Friday, September 13, 2013

Ponyboy, "Hookups," September 17th, Need I Say More???

Happy Friday the 13th!  I can't think of a better way to commemorate Friday the 13th 2013 than to let you all know my two favorite raconteurs are back - Ponyboy, consisting of Charles McVey and David Zey...McVey, Zey...Zey, McVey...My Sister, My Daughter!

With an EP titled "Hookups" which consists of three covers that as Charles told me: "Is purposefully short and unfulfilling - like a hookup".

Tell us more about it, Charles...

"As with previous Ponyboy. releases, Hookups is a record with a conceptual twist. A seedy undercurrent of sexual desire and frustration flows through the EP with every song connected by a theme of inappropriate love and desire. The record opens with Peaches’ anthem of sexual nihilism Fuck the Pain Away, only to be followed by a brooding rendition of The Cure’s 1980 song Secrets, a lament of a secret affair. In an attempt to maintain the theme of hookup brevity, the EP is intentionally short and closes in under ten minutes with an abrasive rendition of I Love Rock N’ Roll.

The concept is carried through with the adjoining album art, a satire of the gay hookup phone application, Grindr. The cover features a silhouetted pony-head profile stylized to mimic the Grinder logo and maintains continuity in the credits with phony profiles and chat text. Unlike most out-musicians, Ponyboy. explores a reality beyond Pride flags and dance clubs; often the review is unflattering. Hookups is the closing chapter of the “Dick Trilogy” which started in 2011 with the release Little Dick Demo, which was followed by Dick Dick Dick earlier this spring."

David Zey

I need a good stiff...drink after that, phew! In honor of the EP I asked each of the Ponyboys to give me a story about one of their worst "Hookups" let's start with my "Boy" David:

A few years ago, I took my first ever trip to Las Vegas. One day while I was there, I decided it might be fun to find someone to hookup with for a night. So, after I woke up that morning and got ready for my day, I signed on to Manhunt (this was just before smart phones and apps such as Grindr existed). I sent a few messages to a few different guys that looked like my type and headed out. I had a few things I wanted to do that day, but I made a point to check in a couple times to see if anyone had responded to my messages. Just before dinner time, I was back at the hotel with my laptop checking message on Manhunt when I got a message from a guy who seemed interested. I let him know that I had dinner plans, but after dinner I was free. He seemed to be okay with that so we exchanged numbers and I headed out for dinner. Now, my dinner plans that night were at the Stratosphere. This guy was staying at the Luxor. If you're familiar with Vegas at all, then you know that these two hotels are about as far away from one another as they can be on the strip. And if you are familiar with Vegas, then you know that getting from one end of the strip to the other can take quite a while, depending on how you choose to travel (I had purchased a 24 hour bus pass that day so that was how I was traveling - which I learned is probably the slowest way you can possibly travel and that you can almost walk faster than the buses move on the strip). Anyhow, about halfway through dinner, the guy texts me to see if I'm done eating yet. I reply and let him know that it'll be just a little while longer. So, dinner is finally over, I text the guy and let him know that I'm headed up the strip to the Luxor on the bus. The guy is noticeably very excited and tells me he can't wait. Because the bus ride is taking much longer than anticipated, I started getting more and more texts from the guy as I went. His tone started to change from excited to slightly impatient. But finally, I get to the Luxor, I send him a text, and make my way to the elevator where I realize that I need a key card to get to certain levels. 

Fuck The Pain Away: Check Out The Video Here: 

So, I text the guy and let him know the situation (which, honestly he should have realized this), and he comes down and gets me. The whole time he is very awkward and seems impatient. When we finally get to his room he offers me a drink. Noticing the bottle of Grey Goose, of course I said yes. This almost seemed to annoy him because he had to make the drink for me instead of getting right down to business. So, I try to make conversation as I work on my drink. When I notice that he is too impatient to chat, I down the drink. As soon as I do, he jumps out of his clothes and starts jerking his already hard cock in the middle of the room. I'm still dressed, but I figure it's a hookup so maybe I should help the guy out... So, I go to go down on him and he pushes me away... not forcefully, but enough so that I understand he doesn't want me sucking his cock. So I go to try and touch his cock and he moves my hand away. Not knowing exactly what to do next, I suggest we move to the bed. He lays down and I lay next to him and I start to unzip my pants, but before I could even pull out my dick, he blows his load. I say something to effect of "Wow, that was quick" and he apologizes with a look of shame in his eyes. At first I thought, well maybe we can have a drink while he recovers and try again... but instead he gets up, wipes off with a towel, and asks me to leave. I say "really?" And he gets a stern look and says "Yeah, I think you should go now" and points to the door. Doesn't even walk me out and instead heads for the bathroom. I was confused and completely unsatisfied with what just happened as I felt like I invested quite a bit of time just getting to his damn hotel room... but it wasn't a total loss... because that bitch didn't even walk me to the door and wasn't looking, I stole his god damned Grey Goose and went and made my own cocktails. He may have gotten off, but I got a free bottle of top shelf liquor - so trust me when I say my night only got better from there...And there ya have it! My worst hookup! Vegas style!

Charles McVey

OK Charles McVey you Wild Man...hit it!

The worst hookup I ever had was two years ago on Gay Pride Day. I was on the train going home from the festivities and I saw this guy sitting across from me, sleeping, but he wasn't really sleeping. He looked like an angel. Even though I could tell he was faking, I went along with it. We started talking and he gave me a line about some old lady he was living with and asks if he can go back to my place. I told him that I don't invite strangers up to my apartment, but then he looks down at his crotch and then back up at me, and he says, "It's big, it's beautiful and you're going to love it." And I said, "Oh, alright." 
As he walked me back to my apartment on that gay night of nights he took my hand gently into his and for a moment I felt like the luckiest guy in the world. I fantasized, “This is it! This is the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.” When we got back to my apartment he threw me on the bed and tore off all my clothes. So, I'm licking his balls, and the next thing I know he cums in my eye, and he's out the door. Gone! If you've never had cum in your eye, let me tell you - it burns! So, there I was lying in the middle of my bed completely naked with an eye full of cum thinking to myself, “I've been duped.” Then, the next day when I called the number he'd given me and it was the Pizza Shuttle and they had never even heard of a Mark Miranda. Worst hookup ever.

Wanna be one of Ponyboy's "Hookups"? Do it  on September 17th!

"Fuck The Pain Away" with Ponyboy at:

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