Wednesday, September 13, 2017

F@ck "IT"

Is That A Helium Balloon? Or Are You Just Excited To See Me?
While the "F" bomb is one of my most favorite frames of reference of all time, so much so I could never tally how much I use it in the course of a day. My favorite usage of it being the term "F@ck it."

This term takes on a whole new meaning this week as you have probably guessed given the byline. Yes, the phrase now refers to the blockbuster $100 million plus grossing movie based on the Stephen King novel IT.

Being a horror fan, I can honestly state this is the least scary film of all time. Seriously, I'm more disturbed by individuals who procure non white paper napkins, for everyday use. I felt like New Line/Warner Brothers marketed the film they wished they had, not the one they ended up with.

Bette Davis Eyes
Honestly I wish I could sue them for baiting and switching, the movie advertised was not what I spent money to see. The trailer was promising, it looked like Pennywise was a dark creature that would get under my skin and infiltrate my psyche, no bueno. 

Even critics were singing it's praises before it opened calling IT frightening. IT garnered an 88% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. I am going out on a limb and saying the ones who loved IT were probably paid off by the studio.

What was IT? A coming of age story with some amazing young actors and a clown who represented their fear of forging through adolescents and becoming adults. Yawn, if I wanted to see that I would view Stand By Me again, another Stephen King adaptation that is way better than this dupe. At least with that one, I wasn't lied to by the studio marketing machine and knew what the movie was about that I was paying to see.

IT's House, In The Middle Of Neibolt Street
The only saving grace for me was I live in Hollywood and got to go to the IT Experience with Robert Krzeski in tow. One of the greatest publicity stunts ever! Yes, Virginia, I got to have live interaction with elements of the movie in Neibolt House, and explore where IT lives.

Translation?! While watching IT and seeing the things I saw inside Neibolt House and my memories of being inside it when the kids entered IT's deadly lair on screen was my only amusement during this marketing scam.

The film was not what I was wanting or, frankly promised by the ad campaign. I'm going to cleanse my palette this weekend with Mother! which I am sure will deliver what it promises.

Pennywise has nothing on me at::     

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