Michael's Musings

The Man Behind The Perma Smirk
Michael Shinafelt 

Last night I dreamt of  French Dip sandwiches and Gin Martini's - but it was actually my reality carried over from my evening at Musso and Frank in Hollywood saying bon voyage to my BFF Brittney before she high tails it to Dallas, Texas that is. We had a grand time at the legendary Hollywood eatery. Oh, and I do highly recommend the French Dip, divine!

Nothing brings a bunch of c#nts together faster than something that is none of their f#cking business - there I said it!!!

Lisa Rinna was sporting a new look at Erika Jayne's concert on the RHOBH that made her look like Dorit Kemsley's brunette doppelganger 

Who has the better booty Captain Marvel or Captain America? Inquiring minds want to know...

So when are they going to arrest the Game of Thrones dragon who started the Notre Dame Cathedral fire?

Wanna see something really scary? Asking for a friend.

A phrase I use on a weekly basis is: "Save me a bike whore" - the more you know

Spend time with people who have been there, done that

About Last Night...
Brittney & Yours Truly @ Musso & Frank

Bye, Bye, Bye "It's Brittney Bitch"

R.I.P. Tim Conway - a true genius 

If I offend you cry me a river, I'll bring snacks and a raft

Sometimes I wonder why. That is all.

The wicked run when no one is chasing them...there are so many names I could add to this list...

Goat Yoga, whhhhhhhhhyyyyyy?!

Psssst! I'm ten times the bitch you could ever hope to be, wipe your nose and run along now

Wanna be starting something? Follow me at: 
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

It's Raining RHOBH

United Front
Kyle Richards, Teddi Mellencamp, Lisa Rinna & Dorit Kemsley

It's raining again today in La La Land, literally. It is also raining Real Housewives of the Beverly Hills variety.

In a season that is clearly on of the best of the show, number 9 to be exact, is knocking the proverbial sh!t hitting the fan out of the park!

In a clearly divisive season where Queen Bee Lisa Vanderpump is in the process of losing her throne as everyone is against her for her manipulative ways. Trust me she is - this is juicy stuff week after week.

While I know these shows are produced there is truth to the actual situations. Case in point? Bear witness to Kyle Richards, Teddi Mellencamp, Lisa Rinna & Dorit Kemsley hitting Craig's in West Hollywood.

These women joined forces against the Lisa Vanderpump in this past weeks episode and it's obviously their way of saying LVP is going to be taken down, wait for it...it's not going to happen now, I said wait for it. I know you will.

Stay dry minions!!!

RHOBH on the WWW -
https://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills

Michael's Musings

Shout!
Michael Shinafelt

"In violent times, You shouldn't have to sell your soul, In black and white, They really really ought to know" - Shout, Tears For Fears

Let's make this quote from this classic eighties song current, shall we? "In moronic times, you shouldn't have to sell your soul. In black and white, They really ought to know" better?

Shouting is how I feel on a daily basis. It's my column and I'm gonna let it all out!

The White Woman in me is very excited!

Must haves - The Demi Lovato mini bra from Fabletics 

Dear Donald Trump, if we were on a playground the teacher would punish your sorry ass

He died doing what he loved, getting strangled during anal sex

When you think things are bad for you during the month of January, remember it's worse for Andre 

The Elf on a shelf is over, all hail the Whore in drawer! 

Well I see Dorit Kemsley has been painted the villain on this seasons RHOBH - good she was too annoying not to be

I'm only happy when it _____ fill in your own blank and give it a name

0 Fux given this week, or F#cking ever

Happy 50th! Love You!
Moi & Brittney

Happy 50th to one of my best friends &  people I know Brittney Alexander!

This gay  is totally annoyed that Margot Robbie didn't win the Golden Globe for I,Tonya 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us" - Marianne Willamson 

Got Oral?

If you see me coming, stand and watch

Formation here:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/mshinafelt?lang=en   

Meow! The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Housewives Gone Wild!
l - r
Camille Grammer, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave, Lisa Rinna, Erika Girardi & Dorit Kemsley

It's time to sharpen those claws and crack open the Rose' The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills returns to Bravo tonight at 9 pm!

While Season Seven was a definite improvement over Season Six and the endless Lyme Disease and Munchausen blabber, raise a glass that Season Eight will finally get the Housewives groove back that earlier episodes of the show had. 

Yet who am I kidding. Even if this Season turns out to be somewhat lacking I will relish every second of it! Especially since this go round features the return of Camille Grammer, who was quite the conduit for drama when she was on the show before and I expect nothing less from her this time.

So tune in tonight minions and this time the drama isn't saved just for your Mama!

RHOBH on the WWW at: 

www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills