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| Erika Jayne |
Translation: I'm not really dressing up, I'm simply raiding my actual wardrobe
A bit too cheeky on this HD&C for October 23, 2024?
Too bad you won't be there for the big reveal....
Hump Day & Chill! Cheers!
Erika Jayne on IG -
Showing posts with label Erika Jayne. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Erika Jayne. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 23, 2024
Hump Day & Chill
Friday, July 22, 2022
Erika de Vil
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| Separated at Birth? Erika Jayne & Cruella di Vil |
Perhaps on Planet Claire? While we all know Erika is wasted on medication and alcohol, which Crystal chalks the "advice" up to. I have to wonder if it's projection at this point on Ms. Jayne's part. No matter how wasted I have been that is something I would have never said in this scenario, thus I'm on team projection, while wasted, and not very elegantly I might add.
Whatever the case it did make for a jaw dropping moment of TV and that's what keeps the audience watching.
Thus when I saw this meme juxtaposing Erika with Cruella de Vil, well if the Dalmatian Coat fits...
T.G.I.F!
If you need help with an eating disorder or know someone who does please contact
The National Eating Disorder Association at -
Thursday, September 26, 2019
Michael's Musings
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| My Doppelganger Michael Shinafelt |
What's new pussycat, whoa, whoa, whoa! Seriously what's new? I am curious yellow please do tell, or not. Whatever...I made it to the gym for the first time in two months on Tuesday. Me and my boot, hey it was made for walking, at least that bloody cast is off and I can now wash my right foot. "Yes" I said goodbye to right foot odor this week, Yay!
Now about that other issue, that one time at band camp when my doppelganger took over...
I draw inspiration from the meta, don't judge me
The 21st record breaking season of one of my favorite TV shows, Law & Order: SVU premieres tonight, woot!
Keep others afraid of you by calling Fall "the harvest"
Remember it's head spinning season, spin it like a record baby!
The Emmy's happened this past weekend. The Kardashians presenting on them got laughed at like Carrie. I Tweeted about it and Entertainment Tonight used my Tweet in their post Emmy write-up. Here is the link: https://www.etonline.com/did-kim-kardashian-and-kendall-jenner-get-laughed-at-while-presenting-at-2019-emmys-132923
You say Label, I say Whore = Label Whore
The Impeachment process against Trump has been implemented. Let the cartoons begin!
On that note enjoying someone's public downfall does not pay your bills, stay focused
Woman Crush of the Week - Erika Jayne she'll be giving plenty of moxie as Roxie
If I told you once, I told you twice, I'm obviously not going to say it three times fast, duh
Mary Wilson of the Supremes was the first to go on Dancing With The Stars, in case you care
The best advice I can give you? Never give unsolicited advice
Are you a FOMO-sapien?
If you can't fly in the big leagues, stay off the broom
Soon I will be spread eagle somewhere, join me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
Mary Wilson of the Supremes was the first to go on Dancing With The Stars, in case you care
The best advice I can give you? Never give unsolicited advice
Are you a FOMO-sapien?
If you can't fly in the big leagues, stay off the broom
Soon I will be spread eagle somewhere, join me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
Tuesday, September 3, 2019
Current Mood
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| Can't Fight This Feeling! Lisa Rinna |
I feel very zen at present as I sit at the computer in the home stretch of my recovery from surgery.
Lisa is currently embroiled in shooting Season 10 of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. We shall see how the show does post the hemorrhaging of ruling Queen Bee, the other Lisa, Lisa Vanderpump.
They've added two newcomers instead of one to replace LVP, Garcelle Beauvis & Rinna friend and ally Sutton Stracke. Which is leading to speculation that Erika Jayne may be out this season or demoted to friend of the show via a recent cast announcement for the upcoming season minus her name.
Oh the drama! Season 10 has barely begun shooting and woot there it is!
Honestly I'll take a yoga mat and some "Good Vibes" over drama any day.
Namaste.
"Good Vibes" on Dictionary.com -
https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/good-vibes/
Thursday, May 16, 2019
Michael's Musings
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| The Man Behind The Perma Smirk Michael Shinafelt |
Nothing brings a bunch of c#nts together faster than something that is none of their f#cking business - there I said it!!!
Lisa Rinna was sporting a new look at Erika Jayne's concert on the RHOBH that made her look like Dorit Kemsley's brunette doppelganger
Who has the better booty Captain Marvel or Captain America? Inquiring minds want to know...
So when are they going to arrest the Game of Thrones dragon who started the Notre Dame Cathedral fire?
Wanna see something really scary? Asking for a friend.
A phrase I use on a weekly basis is: "Save me a bike whore" - the more you know
Spend time with people who have been there, done that
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| About Last Night... Brittney & Yours Truly @ Musso & Frank |
R.I.P. Tim Conway - a true genius
If I offend you cry me a river, I'll bring snacks and a raft
Sometimes I wonder why. That is all.
The wicked run when no one is chasing them...there are so many names I could add to this list...
Goat Yoga, whhhhhhhhhyyyyyy?!
Psssst! I'm ten times the bitch you could ever hope to be, wipe your nose and run along now
Wanna be starting something? Follow me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
Friday, March 22, 2019
Just Because....Pat The Puss
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| Eye Of The Tiger Zachary Levi |
Just Because he's so damned cute, Just Because he has a movie coming out based on a Saturday morning TV Show I used to watch & Just Because he gives a whole new meaning to Erika Jayne's signature move "pat the puss" - Ladies & Gentlemen I bring you Zachary Levi!
See Zachary giving his own spin on "pat the puss" at a photo call for his new movie Shazam in London."Yes" it's Mr. Levi patting a different sort of puss than Erika Jayne, a stuffed tiger to be exact.
Whilst I watched Shazam as kid, I have no desire to see the movie. Honestly it looks lame. The only way I would go see it is if Zachary were going to appear fully naked in it and pat something other than the puss. If you get my drift and I know you do...
So that's what's new today pussycat - minus the whoa oh on this Friday March 22, 2019.
Michael just sayin'.
Zachary on Twitter -
Thursday, February 28, 2019
Michael's Musings
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| In Your Face Michael Shinafelt |
Oh and Michael Cohen testified against a B!tch Baby, I mean Donald Trump yesterday. In other news...
"He lied a lot" - Postcards From A B!tch Baby
This is me waving my middle finger at Facebook, yeah I am being censored and bullied right now or I'd show it to you.
Your Porn Star name is your first name + your last name, because it's you. You're a ho!
How the Hell did Krysten Ritter rate to be an Oscar presenter...WTF?!
"Come again?" - interpretation is everything
That's so very
Erika Jayne is looking like a Drag Queen this season on RHOBH - she would most likely take this as a compliment. I most likely don't mean it as one.
I didn't know you were gay, my car needs more work
Adult Depends Whore
Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party - that is all
This is the noise that keeps me awake - that's for me to know and you to find out.
Quiche Lorraine - dinner is served
Shout out to Selma Blair, you get down with your bad self!
Stop being shady, be obscene instead
Me? I'm serving up eggplant realness right here, right now on the WWW -
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
Tuesday, April 17, 2018
The Real Housewives Of Coachella
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| Hello Coachella l-r Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna & Teddi Mellencamp |
What would a high profile event like this be without some of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills I ask you? Answer me, I asked you. I'm waiting...
Half of them managed to hit the festival with chutzpah and of course fashion, "yes" a trio.
Said threesome consisted of Lisa Rinna, Kyle Richards & newcomer Teddi Mellencamp. See how stylish they look in the image above, I know you do. I follow all three of them on Instagram and there are some fun video clips of them frolicking at the fest - say that three time fast.
I also follow Erika Jayne who was there DJ'ing for Moschino. None of the abovementioned women attended her set. Things that make you go Hmmmmmmmmm....
Tonight is the season finale of the RHOBH can't wait!
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on the WWW at:
www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills
Thursday, April 12, 2018
Michael's Musings
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| The Doctor Is Out! Michael Shinafelt |
I don't know about you, but I feeling like I need to get physical. Oh, doctor, please give it to me. Gladly, how do you like it???
My finger is on the trigger, now cough...welcome to this weeks musings, strap one on it's going to be a horny ride, or not. Life is a mystery, and a mixed bag. Get used to it.
Stop using sex as a weapon, well that's no fun!
Erika Jayne in latex on this weeks RHOBH - Mic Drop!
Alligator Lesbians in the sewer, discuss
Once upon a time I was 213 pounds and 5' 7" - now I am 179 pounds, oh and I did all this at 52 years young. Stay tuned more weight is going to get lost!
Favorite quote about my recent weight drop? "Awesome, get out your leisure pants and 8 track player. The 70's are back!" - Robert Krzeski
Someone at Uber hacked my bank account this week
Let's get back to being horny, it's more fun!
When you feel yourself you _____ yeah I like to tease
"There are many ways to be free. One of them is to transcend reality by imagination, as I try to do" - Anais Nin
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| Got Wahlburgers??? |
That time you put your hand on your....and it went something like....that
"You aren't too smart, are you? I like that in a man" - Kathleen Turner, Body Heat
On a personal note, I like my men smart
Sometimes it snows in April
What's new pussycat? Find out and follow me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
Thursday, March 22, 2018
Michael's Musings
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| Color Me Curious... Micheal Shinafelt |
“Curiouser and curiouser!” - Alice, Alice in Wonderland
Considering the state of the world we live in, I find this quote from Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland quite appropo.
Sometimes you wake up and feel like you have fallen down a rabbit hole, and other days you feel like you are in another dimension. It's all how you process it that matters.
Enjoy your personal journey, you only live once minions...
Shout out to Lisa Rinna's Mom Lois on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Seriously that woman at 89 is amazing!
Claim your slut box
Flan
There's a new movement happening: C#nt Power!
I dream of egregious cookware
Turn the page for an alternate ending
Don't drop bombs (literally, metaphorically....etc.)
Please can it about Kylie Jenner's baby, seriously, you've all seen a baby before. Why is one from a celebrities vagina such a huge deal.
Congratulations to Erika Jayne on the launch of her book Pretty Mess
Sorry Jennifer Aniston
Hey Justin Theroux, I'm ready for our one night stand now
While I want a hot body, and have lost 30lbs and counting, I also want mass quantities of pizza
Ready Player One, Really WTF?!
Wake up and smell your _____ burning (the blank is yours)
On that note, follow me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
Thursday, March 15, 2018
Michael's Musings
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| Red Hot? Or Mellow Yellow? Michael Shinafelt |
I don't know about you, but I am feeling quite yummy today. I'd like to try something new. An evil perhaps? Or...use your imagination if you have one, of course you do!
Yellow or red, the choice is yours. Let's smeeeeeeelllll what Michael is cooking!
Kudos to the students who walked out for 17 minutes yesterday in protest of gun violence. One word: amazing!
The Safe Word is: Stormy Daniels
I love the smell of Cheetos and Tuna in the morning...NOT!
Saw one of my favorite partners in crime, Julie McMahon for lunch yesterday at The Cheesecake Factory in Beverly Hills. The more you know.
A friend of mine, thought Erika Jayne was a total "mean girl" for the way she attacked Teddi Mellencamp on RHOBH this week. While I think the punishment was harsher than the crime, I understood Erika's POV.
That's two mentions for Beverly Hills thus far in my column this week, holla!
There needs to be a band named: No Weed For A Bitch
I need Scandal to surprise and thrill me tonight
Notice Augustus Gloop and Donald Trump are never in the same room together?
R.I.P. The amazing, brilliant, one of a kind Stephen Hawking
So excited, there is going to be a live DJ in one of my favorite spin instructors, Jessica's class today at Gold's Gym Hollywood.
How does it feel to want??? Really, tell me.
Dear Martin Shkreli - Karma's a bitch motherf#cker!
Good Morning, I see the assassins have failed
Hit me with your best shot at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
Thursday, February 15, 2018
Michael's Musings
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| Seeing Red Michael Shinafelt |
Perhaps Valentines Day had some sort of influence on my fixation. Or, perhaps not.
What did I do for VD yesterday? Fluff up your pillow & dream...
1,2,3 - 1,2,3 I'm gonna swing from the chandelier!
Let's bump crowns
I had a rockin' photo shoot this past Sunday
Beware of the cross armed hyena
On this weeks RHOBH Erika Jayne brought her assistant to Teddi Mellencamp's beach house and then stayed in a Hotel, alrighty then
Meghan Markle & Kate Middleton are friends, the world can rest in peace now
To my friend & confidant, producer Shani Bayne. Have a fun time skiing in France!
Sometimes, when I am extremely bored I think to myself: If I were one of the Spice Girls what would I do?
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| Special Delivery Package Jon Hamm |
Stormy Daniels, your check is in the mail
Why?
“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Make it rain
Get your red on with me at:
Thursday, January 4, 2018
Michael's Musings
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| These Guns Weren't Made For Shooting Michael Shinafelt |
When you want to come" - Relax, Frankie Goes To Hollywood
There's a lot to suck and chew on in the world at present, Michael says "Relax" and what better way to than ______ fill in your own blank.
Without further preamble, here is my first musings column of 2018 on this Thursday the 3rd of January, kick back and give it a name...
Like my photo this week? "Yes" I still need to lose more than the 24 lbs I dropped, but I've got guns a blazing!
Lesson Of The Week: Carbs make you doody
Chicks with dicks, is it so wrong?
That isn't blood, it's Strawberry Jam!
Teddi Mellencamp has dethroned Erika Jayne as my favorite RHOBH. Don't fret Erika you are still a close second.
Congratulations to Ellen Page and her girlfriend Emma Portner on their getting hitched
There can only be one set of hooker twins. So it is written and so it will be.
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| Congrats Ariel! Me & Ariel Beesley |
When does Scandal return? Can't wait to see how they wrap the final season
"If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you" - Louis Hay
Snowballing, discuss
If I cut your hair you will wake-up F#cking bald!
Word on the street is that peeps who take too many selfies are perhaps mentally ill...Oooooops, my bad!
Get down with your, and my bad self at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
Thursday, December 28, 2017
Michael's Musings
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| It's All Fun & Games Until... Michael Shinafelt |
Christmas has come and gone and now we are moving on up to 2018, ponder that. Thus this weeks column may be a tad repetitive, considering all the things that have led up to it.
Or perhaps it won't. Whatever, I'm rebel just for kicks now, might've had your fill, but I feel it still...
Wanna be on my level today? Climb!
Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? Asking for a friend.
Current Mood? Fuschia
My Mom visited moi for Christmas, best present ever!
Oh, we went and saw I, Tonya - loved it! Yes, that's a recommendation.
I gained a mere 3 lbs over Christmas, child's play, off in no time
Yoga put a ring on it yesterday
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| Sex Cells Me & Traci Lords |
In case you didn't know I went to Sex Cells this past Friday to hang with the awesome Traci Lords
Where in the world is...(you know someone whose name should be here)
Shout Out to my buddy Tom Connan who has a brilliant new single out Charlie - listen to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIBZ5kklVAM
Speaking of Charlie's isn't A Charlie Brown Christmas one of the best Holiday specials ever?
Who the F#ck is styling Lisa Rinna & Erika Jayne during their confessionals this season on RHOBH? Ladies, just say "No"
Speaking of "No" that is what I say every year when my Dr. tries to convince me to get a flu shot. Guess what? I never get the flu and people I know who receive the shot get sick, Hmmmmmmm...
On that note, follow me and party like it will be 2018 the next time we connect. Why? Because it will be!
Thursday, December 21, 2017
Michael's Musings
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| Santa Bear Michael Shinafelt |
This is my last column before Christmas, ya know Last Christmas (nudge, wink) Ho, ho, ho Santa Bear is here! Thus my minor alteration of the Holiday Classic Santa Baby originally sung by the unsinkable Eartha Kitt.
So? What would you like Santa Bear to stuff your stocking with? I think I know the answer to that...
Gimme, gimme, gimme an ass burger after midnight
Monday was my Birthday and it was fun!
I also celebrated Tuesday too, you can't keep a good Bear down!
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is back and brought the gift that keeps on giving, Erika Jayne
Every moment is fleeting, every moment is incredible
Rose McGowan v Meryl Streep - who would have ever thunk it?!
How about those Golden Globe Nominations???
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| Chestnuts roasting on an open fire... Mike Clifford |
Santa Bear wishes our country's nightmare would end. He hates bad dreams...
When I am down, I simply want to stick my face in some caviar
Zac Efron, king of surprise mustaches
Do you know the way to San Jose?
I don't have to buy it, I already own it
Peace on earth, goodwill towards your fellow human beings. Decency doesn't cost a thing, please give.
If you have been naughty, and I know you have, get with me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/mshinafelt?lang=en
Monday, November 20, 2017
Zero F#cks Monday
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| She's Got The Look Erika Jayne |
While combing through red carpet photos this morning one of the images stood out for me, the one of Erika Jayne slaying with a that's, well, so Erika. Also because Season 8 of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills draws nigh.
The premiere date is etched in stone in my brain. Why you might ask? Because it is the day after my Birthday. "Yes" the RHOBH premiere date is Tuesday December 19th, the day of my birth is Monday December 18th. Got it? I know you do. So I guess that means Bravo is giving me their present a day late, bastards!
So here it is me giving zero f#cks the Monday before Thanksgiving about the AMA's because, well they were boring AF!
Cheers!
Follow Erika Jayne on Instagram, like me, at:
https://www.instagram.com/theprettymess/?hl=en
Thursday, April 13, 2017
Michael's Musings
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| Spin Bike Porn Michael Shinafelt |
Those of you who take a spin class on a regular basis get what I mean, for the uninitiated here we go. Everyone no matter who they are have their favorite bike when they enter the spin room, in my case this takes place at Gold's Gym Hollywood (they should pay my ass for all my internet mentions of them.)
I have two favorite instructors there, Jessica & Michelle, and guess what? I like the same bike all the time. Now don't get me wrong, if someone arrives before me and snags it, I can move on and not get bent. But that never happens, because I get there early enough to insure my place in the universe.
So the image above is me showing affection for my favorite spin bike in the room with a tongue bath. Let's move on, I know you want to....
United Airlines, moving on...
Oral tops & waffle makers
Hey Guys & Dolls, this Easter I wish you the biggest basket
Hagsploitation - I never thought a limited series on FX named Feud would introduce me to my new favorite term.
There's no gray in Sonja Morgan's gardens. Dye it's not just for Easter eggs
A woman named Ida Lickhammer gave a like to one of my Instagram posts this week. Yes, really.
That time in spin class (you know, on my favorite bike) you mistake a Michael Jackson song for a Britney Spears one. Yeah, that really happened.
Here comes Peter Cottontail, I hope he cleans up after himself
To all the RHOBH fans out there. Look what I saw this past week DTLA
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| Erika Jayne's Husband Tom Girardi's Law Office |
This Saturday I will be attending a performance of Bella Gaia, which has been described as "poetry in motion" with Maresa Wickham. Thanks Lynn Tejada
Quote of the Week: "I don't fuck much with the past, but I fuck plenty with the future" - Patti Smith
Give it a name, but not mine
Mike Clifford, Mike Clifford, Mike Clifford - https://www.facebook.com/Mike-Cliffords-Wonderful-World-878305508977287/
When you think of me, follow me, here:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
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