Michael's Musings

" I Try To Ascend"
Michael Shinafelt

"There's only one thing I like more than sharing what I know with other people

And that's learning
Please, someone, teach me something I don't already know" - School, Madonna 

I went to a Madonna popup in West Hollywood, CA on the 4th of July, it made me feel like I was 18 again when she first hit the scene. "Yes" I am that many years old.

Step away from where you're not valued  and step onto a dance floor, that's all

Madonna's latest, Confessions II is truly one of her best, I must "confess" I am low key obsessed with it!

BTW I don't hold grudges. I hold memories, screenshots, timestamps and supporting documents. The more you know...

I have my ticket for opening day of The Odyssey in IMAX at the Chinese theatre in Hollywood on Friday the 17h..."Yes" I am excited to see it, can't you tell???

The Devil sent me his worst demon, I sent that MF back crying, true story

Lindsay Lohan looks radiant, she just turned 40, let that sink in...

Dear problem, give me a discount, I am your regular customer, discuss 

Woman Crush of the Week - It has to be Queen Madonna. Thanks for giving us the best album and music of the summer your Madgesty!

If you think Liberals steal elections and control weather but also let Republicans control all three branches of government, you may be f#cking stupid beyond repair. 

Zohran Mamdani jumping into a pool without any algae in NYC, that's all you need to know

It's your eyes, they won't let me forget anything

Algorithms and AI are the opposite of taking risks, Think about it, but not too much.

It's going to be another hot & humid day in Los Angeles again. I say margaritas are in order!

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Michael's Musings

Lips Like Sugar
Michael Shinafelt

"Lips like sugar

Sugar kisses
Lips like sugar
Sugar kisses" - Lips Like Sugar, Echo & The Bunnymen

If you ever find yourself mad at someone. Put on a cape and be super mad!

FYI Jesus doesn't listen to prayers he listens to jazz, the more you know 

Saw The Invite L-O-V-E-D it!!!

Had lunch with a friend at El Coyote yesterday. "Yes" I experienced the divine

I talked too much not it's time to disappear and be mysterious again

"Bit#h I'm Gagging" - That's all

Bananas in pajamas, discuss...

Sometimes I think to myself: What would Miss Piggy do???

Woman Crush of the Week - Olivia Wilde she did an ace job directing The Invite. I loved every delicious minute of it!

Less toxic masculinity and more Toxic by Britney Spears, indeed

PS What doesn't kill you, still tried to kill you, think about it, but not too much

Now matter what day or time it is there is always a Law & Order: SVU marathon on somewhere

Imagine denying children free school lunch while making them read about Jesus multiplying loaves to feed all?

This is the day...laundry day, and aren't you happy?!

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Michael's Musings

I Can Be Anything I Want
Michael Shinafelt

"Back to nature, it's human nature

Getting on back to

I think I'm done with the sofa
I think I'm done with the hall
I think I'm done with the kitchen table, baby

Let's go outside (let's go outside)
In the sunshine" - Outside, George Michael 

Stop hiding your magic! Happy Pride Month!!!

The amount of beautiful things in your life depends on your ability to notice them

You've heard of Panic At The Disco, wait till you hear Crying At The Orgy, discuss

If you think I'm mean...wait until I don't like you, the more you know

Had lunch on the patio of Marix in West Hollywood, CA yesterday, resplendent 

A computer can never be spiteful or horny. Therefore a computer must never make art, that's all

The Invite looks quite intriguing, looking forward to seeing it tomorrow

Why would Satan torture people in Hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed? Think about it, but not too much

Woman Crush of the Week - The incomparable out queer icon Cynthia Erivo, nobody does it like her!

After getting what you manifested, ask for discipline to keep it and wisdom to multiply it

MAGA = Make Algae Great Again

Ready for another week of crippling anxiety and a nice ass???

Inflation has gotten so bad it takes two Karens  to speak to the manager, there's that

I wished a motherf#cker would...

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Michael's Musings

"Nasty, Nasty Boys, Don't Ever Change"
Michael Shinafelt

"Hey! Who's that thinkin' nasty thoughts? Nasty boys!

Who's that in that nasty car? Nasty boys!
Who's that eatin' that nasty fruit? Nasty boys!
Who's jammin' to my nasty groove? Nasty boys!" - Nasty, Janet Jackson

A big part of who I am is who I'm not anymore...Happy Pride Month!

I ain't clearing no rumors up. I probably did do it, and if I didn't I might, that's all

Caught The Moment with Charlie XCX on HBO MAX the other day...Loved It!

Sit in rooms where people talk about dreams, not other people

Went for an In -N- Out burger yesterday in Hollywood, the more you know

OK, so imagine we are arguing and I throw a cockroach in your face

BTW if Trump gets any more incoherent, the right wing evangelicals will claim he's speaking in tongues, there's that

Can I call you galaxy without the LAX, think about it, but not too much

Woman Crush of the Week - Charlie XCX saw her film The Moment and now she has a new fan!

Stopped by Hustler Hollywood yesterday on the Blvd IYKYK

Tattoos don't fix your life, but they do make you hot!

Been rewatching Pretty Little Liars, it still holds up and I never tire of it

I'm a Sagittarius and according to Elite Daily "Less" is the perfect Olivia Rodrigo song for my zodiac sign, discuss

Fact: I am the Turtle Whisperer, really I'm not joking

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Michael's Musings

Don't Be A Vibe Kill, Celebrate Pride Month!
Michael Shinafelt

"Everybody get up and dance

Everyone here is a work of art" - Danceteria, Madonna 

We are all works of art Happy Pride Month!

All bad energy sent my way will be turned into cash from here on out, so be it

Best online comment I read about Spence Pratt losing out on Mayor of Los Angeles: "Did you pack your stuff yet you sweaty Pillsbury Proud Boy? A promise is a promise."

Free the Sex Penguins, think about it, but not too much...

Honestly my purpose is to do whatever the F*ck I want, that's all

Mike Flanagan's "The Exorcist" starring Scarlett Johansson has wrapped filming, the more you know

The movie Obsession really lives up to it's title. The whole world is literally obsessed with it, including myself

Question? Should you give up your seat for an elderly person? There is only one correct answer Minions

Woman Crush of the Week - LGBTQ ally and tribe member Margaret Cho who just dropped the perfect anthem for Pride Month "YER DIHH" hit it on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNlhNSFfJVM

Remembering gay icon Judy Garland who had a Birthday yesterday

All I consumed was a bowl of frozen fruit yesterday, discuss

Does running from reality count as cardio? Asking for a friend

Replacing my heart with Lego, step on it now bitch

I'm having an uncontrollable urge

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Michael's Musings

"The Wild Boys Are Calling"
Michael Shinafelt

"They tried to break us, looks like they'll try again

Wild boys (wild boys) never lose it
Wild boys (wild boys) never chose this way
Wild boys (wild boys) never close your eyes
Wild boys always shine" - Wild Boys, Duran Duran 

It's Pride Month come on get happy!

Current Mood: F#ck this sh!t, I'll be a stripper

Female Trouble, discuss 

Started watching Heated Rivalry, I know, I know, better late then never. Yep, it's as hot as I heard it is.

The final episode of Hacks was amazingly perfect in every little way.

His face was obscured but I knew he was looking at my chest, that's all

Pride Month Pro Tip: "Smile Like You Have A Naughty Secret" - Michael Shinafelt "Yes" this quote is from a column I wrote

Went to the 25th Anniversary Screening of David Lynch's Mulholland Drive at Hollywood Forever Cemetery as a VIP guest...resplendent!

Woman Crush of the Week - Gay Icon and ally Madonna, can't wait for "Confessions 2" to drop July 3rd!

Are you a whore in jail? Think about it, but not too much...

"I love working with women and making out with women" - Malin Akerman

Three words: Stop! That! Train!

Did anyone else fantasize about Armand Assante in his Little Darlings era? Raise your hand ✋

I'm going to be the guy with the most cake

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Michael's Musings

"Some Of Them Want To Be Abused"
Michael Shinafelt

"Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something

Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused" - Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This), Eurythmics 

Thought Of The Day: What if I die before I ever get to ride in a private jet???

FYI Great Minds think alike...but Dirty Minds work so frickin' well together!

I'm not going to make jokes about Pam Bondi having thyroid cancer. I hope she's treated with all the respect she showed the Epstein survivors, that's all

My Internet/Internet TV have been out since Saturday. The TV won't be up and running until it is restored, the computer is. "Yes' I am using my neighbors WiFi info to log on.

This weeks tally of F#cks given = 0, the more you know

Saw Obsession finally. OMG! It was truly horrifying and disturbing! When the credits started rolling I just sat there staring at them for a a minute, or so regaining my composure.

Reminder: May is National Masturbation Month, think about it, but not too much

The art of not being ready and doing it anyway will take you so far, indeed...

Woman Crush of the Week - How could if not be Inde Navarrette for her brilliant performance as Nikki Freeman in Obsession?! 

Your secret's safe with me because I wasn't even listening, discuss 

If you could only recommend one black and white film everyone should watch in their lifetime what would it be? Mine? Sunset Blvd.

It's not multiple personalities. It's called knowing your audience 

Jane Schoenbrun's Teenage Sex And Death At Camp Miasma starring Gillian Anderson and Hannah Einbinder made quite the splash at Cannes, can't wait to see it!!!

Time to head to the gym, TTFN

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Michael's Musings

"I Wanna Feel You From The Inside"
Michael Shinafelt

"You let me violate you

You let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you
You let me complicate you

I broke apart my insides
(Help me) I've got no soul to sell
(Help me) the only thing that works for me
Help me get away from myself" - Closer, Nine Inch Nails 

Me At Home: I need to go out! Me Out: I knew I should have stayed home

I guess my retirement plan should have been storming the Capitol on January 6th and waiting to get compensated

Young man sues parents for $150k for naming him "Gaylord" the more you know

Reading is cool, that's all

Make good movies or die, think about it, but not too much

Looking forward to seeing Teenage Sex And Death At Camp Miasma starring Gillian Anderson and Hannah Einbinder, it got raves at Cannes!

Is anyone out there a Law & Order: SVU fan like me? Last week's season finale was a banger

Imbibing in lemon water while writing this on my computer, and aren't you happy???

Woman Crush of the Week - The legendary Cher who crossed a milestone and turned 80 yesterday...Believe!

Don't you dare forget who the f#ck you are. You've walked through fire. You don't flinch at sparks.

You are someone's reason to _______ the blank is yours to fill in. I know what I inserted, ask me if you like

FYI don't write long E-mails, I'm not going to read them, I said what I said

T.W.A.T. = There We Are Then

I have lust in my heart today...

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Michael's Musings

Shake Your Booty
Michael Shinafelt

"Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
Shake your booty, shake your booty
Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake
Shake your booty, shake your booty" - KC and the Sunshine Band, (Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty

I Loved Being Judged By People I Never Want To Be Like

So if they're using Aliens to distract us from the Epstein files...does that make this Alien vs. Predator? 

RIP Pioneering Jason Collins, the first openly gay NBA player, his legacy will live on

I beg your finest f#cking pardon, that's all

OK, boots start walkin', think about, but not too much

Let's engage in some whimsy shall we? We shall!

All my traumas get converted into swag, and aren't you happy???

Why do you want to take away people's rights away? That's weird

Woman Crush of the Week - Taraji P Henson she tells like it is and she looks hot in a suit

"I'm sick of hearing history will judge them. Judge them now" - Jasmine Crockett

That's it, taste the rainbow!!!

Went to Marix in West Hollywood, CA for lunch yesterday had to have my quota of kick ass margaritas

Rob Who? IYKYK

Today I will try something new

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Michael's Musings

"Hit Me With Those Laser Beams"
Michael Shinafelt
Photo:
https://www.instagram.com/johnmar/

"Relax, don't do it

When you want to go to it
Relax, don't do it
When you want to come
Relax, don't do it
When you want to suck it, chew it
Relax, don't do it
When you want to come
When you want to come" - Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Relax

Everything can be a sign if you're crazy or horny enough, think about it, but not too much

Caught The Devil Wears Prada 2 this past weekend. IMO it's better than the first, it's a more fully realized movie

I crave souls, but tacos will do for now, that's all

Speaking of tacos, how was your Cinco de Mayo? I spent mine at the world famous El Coyote. Why is it world famous you might ask? It's where Sharon Tate last dined for starters.

When your birthstone is a crack rock, discuss...

The Met Gala was. 

My mantra while writing: Write. Revise, Scream a Little. Repeat. 

FYI you will survive but you will become someone else

Woman Crush of the Week - Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada 2, she gave us a more layered and complex Miranda Priestly this outing...resplendent! 

PS I had dirty thoughts about you. I hope you felt them.

When children are shot in their classrooms, all politicians can offer are thoughts and prayers. When a shooting happens near them, they demand a $350 million golden ballroom to protect themselves.

It's never too late for coconut pie, the more you know

RIP Pioneering mogul Ted Turner 

Yes, I'm going to the gym today

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Michael's Musings

"This Is Your Burial"
Michael Shinafelt
Photo: 
https://www.instagram.com/johnmar/

"Don't come closer

I'll push you further
I'm mesmerizing
A brutal lover" - Anne Hathaway, Burial from Mother Mary

Saw Mother Mary last Friday, loved it! It got under my skin and into my psyche, I can't stop thinking about it. 

FYI only whores can see this column, the more you know

Generation X Defined: Currently 45-60. Currently looks 30-40. Will throw hands. Words can't hurt us. Great work ethic. Zero tolerance for stupidity. TRUTH!

In case you aren't aware The Devil Wears Prada 2 opens tomorrow, there's that

That's so moral majority, think about it, but not too much

Last week's episode of Euphoria was hilarious! IYKYK

Happy Birthday to the legendary Ann-Margret who turned 85 on Tuesday

Imitated, but never duplicated, discuss...

Woman Crush of the Week - Michaela Coel in Mother Mary, mesmerizing and amazing!

Loving The Comeback! Lisa Kudrow and the rest of the cast are amazing! I'm 100% sure AI isn't writing the show (wink)

There's always a rumor about everyone, that's the way it goes

Be kind, but keep a little attitude tucked away for flavor

The Madonna/Sabrina Carpenter collab Bring Your Love drops today, and aren't you happy???

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Michael's Musings

"You've Just Crossed Over Into...The Twilight Zone"
Michael Shinafelt

"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call "The Twilight Zone" - Rod Serling, The Twilight Zone

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable. Please take them off.

Just looking for love. And a million dollars. Maybe a taco. And some tequila. The more you know...

Seeing Madonna and Geena Davis reunite at Coachella is in a league of it's own

One fan theory I hope is true about this season of Euphoria is that Jules Sugar Daddy is Nate and that is why he is having money problems. 

Evolve or Die, that's all

Hey, call me when you resurrect. I'm waiting. 

Anne Hathaway used one of my favorite words on The Devil Wears Prada 2 red carpet "resplendent" 

Are the aliens here? Did Christ come back? Asking for a friend.

Woman Crush of the Week - Alexa Demie as Maddy Perez on Euphoria. She's one of this seasons MVP's, Cassie better watch her back! 

Make your weird light shine bright so other weirdos know where to find you

Why are there no peanut butter fish? Think about it, but not too much

Next week's reading will come from the Book of Django Unchained...and aren't you happy???

Robert De Niro calls Ariana Grande the single funniest scene partner he's ever had. The more you know.

Adulthood is dumb, Nobody asks me if I want to come outside and play anymore.

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Michael's Musings

Groundbreaking...
Michael Shinafelt

"Yes, serve a little sass

Yes, with a little side of ass
Yes, got the front row screaming
Okay (Okay), okay (Okay)
Yes, do a little twirl
Yes, let 'em know I'm that girl
Yes, Monday through Sunday
I can turn a dance floor into a runway" - Lady Gaga & Doechii, Runway from The Devil Wears Prada 2

Be with someone who makes you want to be a better freak. I said what I said.

Madonna will release Confessions II her follow-up to 2005's Confessions on a Dance Floor on July the 3rd...Three words: I Can't Wait!!!

Fun Fact: Ozzy Osbourne was once named the nation's favorite ambassador to welcome aliens to Earth

Boobytrap spelled backwards is Partyboob, the more you know...

Hey, you look like someone who eats bananas for the shape, not the taste

I am very intrigued by the film Mother Mary, definitely on my must see list!

Don't bite the hand that fingers you or whatever the saying is

LA is a city where errands feel like side quests with time penalties, TRUTH!!!

Woman Crush of the Week - Teyana Taylor slaying is this look at Coachella, that's all.

F#cking up is so much better than not trying, Indeed...

The economy is so messed up. You buy some groceries and and it feels like you're being irresponsible with money

Religion is a smart business idea. They sell an invisible product, and if it doesn't work, they blame it on the customer

Supporting another person's success will never ruin yours, think about it, but not too much

I love the smell of lemon water in the morning, there's that

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Michael's Musings

My Baby's Got A Secret
Michael Shinafelt
Photo:
Jesse Merrell

"Happiness lies in your own hand

It took me much too long to understand
How it could be
Until you shared your secret with me

Something's comin' over, mmm mmm
Something's comin' over, mmm mmm
Something's comin' over me
My baby's got a secret" - Madonna, Secret

F#ck normal, I want magic, that's all

Things Cardi B says: "If you support Trump, don't listen to my music" there's that

No substance that has ever been used was abused. It was loved.

Even though the reviews have been not so good overall, I can't wait for the season three premiere of Euphoria this Sunday! Who's with me???

To the victors belong the squirrels, think about it, but not too much...

Karoline Leavitt actually said, "It's hard for President Trump to make key decisions on Iran when he doesn't have enough intelligence." No lies detected for a change.

A dozen roses, what could possibly go wrong I ask you?

My current obsession is Denise Richards face lift. It's a masterpiece!

Woman Crush of the Week - Hunter Schafer slaying on the red carpet for the premiere of Euphoria season three.

Scream 8 is going to be coming our collective way. That's what happens when Scream 7 made over $200 Million. You can't keep Ghostface down!

Who else is loving season three of The Comeback? ✋

My friend Scott brought over some cranberry scones, yep I had one for breakfast...delicious

What's your favorite Alfed Hitchcock film? Mine is Psycho because it made the most impact on me

BTW I have an agenda, that's the way it goes

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Michael's Musings

I Never Try Anything, I Just Do It!
Michael Shinafelt

"We don't need no education

We don't need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teacher, leave them kids alone

Hey, teacher, leave them kids alone
All in all, it's just another brick in the wall
All in all, you're just another brick in the wall"  - Pink Floyd, Another Brick In The Wall, Part 2

So, I'm supposed to pay taxes while Army helicopters do a fly-by at Kid Rock's house just for giggles?! Get bent!

Hope Kristi Noem and her crimes against humanity, have fun motorboating her husband now that her schedule is free

Learn the rules like a pro so you can break then like an artist - Pablo Picasso 

Do not look back in anger, or forward in fear, but around in awareness, that's all

Binged Something Very Bad Is Going To Happen on Netflix...loved it! It goes unexpected places to great comedic and horrific effect.

What a lame planet no fairies, no mermaids, no dragons...just bills and annoying people

Beware of the people in apartment 3A, the more you know

I just realized Tesla is the modern version of Christine, and aren't you happy?!

Woman Crush of the Week - Tura Satana star of the Russ Meyer opus Faster Pussy Cat! Kill! Kill! saw the documentary Tura about her on Tubi, what a fascinating, not to mention fierce woman!

Pet the chicken, that's correct, I said pet the chicken

Only a few care...the rest are just curious to find your weakness, that's all you need to know

Can't wait to see The Drama with Zendaya & Robert Pattinson tomorrow!

FYI I love brie on water crackers, there's that

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