Michael's Musings

Michael Shinafelt

"You're just like me, you're out your mind

I know it's strange, we're both the crazy kind
You're tellin' me that I'm insane
Boy, don't pretend that you don't love the pain" - Sweet But Psycho, Ava Max

Friends are like balloons, sometimes you blow them. 

Discipline: Think before every thought

This rum and coke tastes like everybody wants to know my opinion about ______ the blank is yours to fill in

Cannibalistic jellyfish with disappearing anus are terrorizing Venice waters...the more you know

I hate doing laundry, that's all

FYI Sagittarius is the worst sign to argue with, trust me I know and you have been warned. 

Seeing Greg Araki's I Want Your Sex tomorrow with Olivia Wilde & Cooper Hoffman, looks provocative and fun!

You've walked through fire, don't flinch at sparks, discuss

Woman Crush Of The Week - The unflappable Kaitlin Collins, for her pull no punches journalism

MAGA is just Scientology for broke ass racists 

When you know who you are, you don't need to prove it

Had lunch on the patio of my favorite West Hollywood restaurant Marix yesterday and aren't you happy?!

Imagine, if you will and ancient fairy tale still used for fear, indoctrination and oppression. Think about it, but not too much

Chatting with AI will never beat chatting with a gay guy

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Michael's Musings

"I Got Something I Want To Talk About"
Michael Shinafelt

"Ask yourself this

What are you doing it for?
Is it for you? Is it for them?
I got something I want to talk about" - Bring Your Love, Madonna & Sabrina Carpenter

The heat is on, and I am up! That's all you need to know

Saw The Odyssey in IMAX at the Chinese Theatre in Hollywood last Friday. Wow! What a great film!!! Definitely see it in IMAX if you can.

Pool owner has bathing suit that touched his penis you can borrow. The more you know...

Finally got around to watching Robert Eggers The Witch with Anya Taylor-Joy. It's a slow burn and really effective 

Since my first bite of cookie dough as I kid I've known I liked it better raw

I found a new method for opening a jar of dill pickles. Put a cloth over part of your sink and pound the lid on all sides and presto it opens

Next thing you know Trump will have himself inserted as a guest at The Last Supper

It's always the individuals with no magic, trying to tell you what to do with yours

Woman Crush of the Week - It has to be Anne Hathaway as Penelope in The Odyssey, she is resplendent

I have a confession, I imbibed in some Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream yesterday, and aren't you happy???

Certified freak, seven days a week...discuss 

When unexpected things happen don't get down, get creative

I will steal your heart...but not in a romantic way, that's all

Communing with nature and the dead today, partaking in yoga at Hollywood Forever Cemetery

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Michael's Musings

I See Inside Your Soul
Michael Shinafelt

"People really think that there's a beginning and ending

To this thing called life
But energy never dies
This is just a portal we're going through" - Fragile, Madonna 

Seeing the Tender Misfit perform tonight at Oblivion in Highland Park, check her out online she's great!

FYI something lesbian will happen to you soon, don't give up

Madonna is number one with her Confessions II album, deservedly so, it's completely amazing from start to finish

To become the new flesh, you first have to kill the old flesh, the more you know

RIP Sam Neil A Cry In The Dark is one of my favorite films 

Seeing The Odyssey 11am tomorrow in IMAX at The Chinese Theatre in Hollywood! "Yes" I am excited!!!

Woke up scratches on my forearm, WTF?!

Saw Bang My Box: The  Robin Byrd Story on HBO, what an amazing woman and life

Woman Crush of the Week - Charlize Theron on the red carpet promoting The Odyssey she plays the nymph Calypso in it

"I don't understand how people can be afraid of a fat elderly man who wears apricot makeup, his hair done up like Tippi Hedren in The Birds and sits in a court room and moans and groans and complains" - E. Jean Carroll 

Gay people if you keep using AI you're not going to have enough water left to douche with, that's all

I'm craving an In-N-Out Burger, and aren't you happy???

It's July 16th you know what that means...

Time to get motivated, to do something, not sure what though

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Michael's Musings

" I Try To Ascend"
Michael Shinafelt

"There's only one thing I like more than sharing what I know with other people

And that's learning
Please, someone, teach me something I don't already know" - School, Madonna 

I went to a Madonna popup in West Hollywood, CA on the 4th of July, it made me feel like I was 18 again when she first hit the scene. "Yes" I am that many years old.

Step away from where you're not valued  and step onto a dance floor, that's all

Madonna's latest, Confessions II is truly one of her best, I must "confess" I am low key obsessed with it!

BTW I don't hold grudges. I hold memories, screenshots, timestamps and supporting documents. The more you know...

I have my ticket for opening day of The Odyssey in IMAX at the Chinese theatre in Hollywood on Friday the 17h..."Yes" I am excited to see it, can't you tell???

The Devil sent me his worst demon, I sent that MF back crying, true story

Lindsay Lohan looks radiant, she just turned 40, let that sink in...

Dear problem, give me a discount, I am your regular customer, discuss 

Woman Crush of the Week - It has to be Queen Madonna. Thanks for giving us the best album and music of the summer your Madgesty!

If you think Liberals steal elections and control weather but also let Republicans control all three branches of government, you may be f#cking stupid beyond repair. 

Zohran Mamdani jumping into a pool without any algae in NYC, that's all you need to know

It's your eyes, they won't let me forget anything

Algorithms and AI are the opposite of taking risks, Think about it, but not too much.

It's going to be another hot & humid day in Los Angeles again. I say margaritas are in order!

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Michael's Musings

Lips Like Sugar
Michael Shinafelt

"Lips like sugar

Sugar kisses
Lips like sugar
Sugar kisses" - Lips Like Sugar, Echo & The Bunnymen

If you ever find yourself mad at someone. Put on a cape and be super mad!

FYI Jesus doesn't listen to prayers he listens to jazz, the more you know 

Saw The Invite L-O-V-E-D it!!!

Had lunch with a friend at El Coyote yesterday. "Yes" I experienced the divine

I talked too much not it's time to disappear and be mysterious again

"Bit#h I'm Gagging" - That's all

Bananas in pajamas, discuss...

Sometimes I think to myself: What would Miss Piggy do???

Woman Crush of the Week - Olivia Wilde she did an ace job directing The Invite. I loved every delicious minute of it!

Less toxic masculinity and more Toxic by Britney Spears, indeed

PS What doesn't kill you, still tried to kill you, think about it, but not too much

Now matter what day or time it is there is always a Law & Order: SVU marathon on somewhere

Imagine denying children free school lunch while making them read about Jesus multiplying loaves to feed all?

This is the day...laundry day, and aren't you happy?!

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Michael's Musings

I Can Be Anything I Want
Michael Shinafelt

"Back to nature, it's human nature

Getting on back to

I think I'm done with the sofa
I think I'm done with the hall
I think I'm done with the kitchen table, baby

Let's go outside (let's go outside)
In the sunshine" - Outside, George Michael 

Stop hiding your magic! Happy Pride Month!!!

The amount of beautiful things in your life depends on your ability to notice them

You've heard of Panic At The Disco, wait till you hear Crying At The Orgy, discuss

If you think I'm mean...wait until I don't like you, the more you know

Had lunch on the patio of Marix in West Hollywood, CA yesterday, resplendent 

A computer can never be spiteful or horny. Therefore a computer must never make art, that's all

The Invite looks quite intriguing, looking forward to seeing it tomorrow

Why would Satan torture people in Hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed? Think about it, but not too much

Woman Crush of the Week - The incomparable out queer icon Cynthia Erivo, nobody does it like her!

After getting what you manifested, ask for discipline to keep it and wisdom to multiply it

MAGA = Make Algae Great Again

Ready for another week of crippling anxiety and a nice ass???

Inflation has gotten so bad it takes two Karens  to speak to the manager, there's that

I wished a motherf#cker would...

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Michael's Musings

"Nasty, Nasty Boys, Don't Ever Change"
Michael Shinafelt

"Hey! Who's that thinkin' nasty thoughts? Nasty boys!

Who's that in that nasty car? Nasty boys!
Who's that eatin' that nasty fruit? Nasty boys!
Who's jammin' to my nasty groove? Nasty boys!" - Nasty, Janet Jackson

A big part of who I am is who I'm not anymore...Happy Pride Month!

I ain't clearing no rumors up. I probably did do it, and if I didn't I might, that's all

Caught The Moment with Charlie XCX on HBO MAX the other day...Loved It!

Sit in rooms where people talk about dreams, not other people

Went for an In -N- Out burger yesterday in Hollywood, the more you know

OK, so imagine we are arguing and I throw a cockroach in your face

BTW if Trump gets any more incoherent, the right wing evangelicals will claim he's speaking in tongues, there's that

Can I call you galaxy without the LAX, think about it, but not too much

Woman Crush of the Week - Charlie XCX saw her film The Moment and now she has a new fan!

Stopped by Hustler Hollywood yesterday on the Blvd IYKYK

Tattoos don't fix your life, but they do make you hot!

Been rewatching Pretty Little Liars, it still holds up and I never tire of it

I'm a Sagittarius and according to Elite Daily "Less" is the perfect Olivia Rodrigo song for my zodiac sign, discuss

Fact: I am the Turtle Whisperer, really I'm not joking

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Michael's Musings

Don't Be A Vibe Kill, Celebrate Pride Month!
Michael Shinafelt

"Everybody get up and dance

Everyone here is a work of art" - Danceteria, Madonna 

We are all works of art Happy Pride Month!

All bad energy sent my way will be turned into cash from here on out, so be it

Best online comment I read about Spence Pratt losing out on Mayor of Los Angeles: "Did you pack your stuff yet you sweaty Pillsbury Proud Boy? A promise is a promise."

Free the Sex Penguins, think about it, but not too much...

Honestly my purpose is to do whatever the F*ck I want, that's all

Mike Flanagan's "The Exorcist" starring Scarlett Johansson has wrapped filming, the more you know

The movie Obsession really lives up to it's title. The whole world is literally obsessed with it, including myself

Question? Should you give up your seat for an elderly person? There is only one correct answer Minions

Woman Crush of the Week - LGBTQ ally and tribe member Margaret Cho who just dropped the perfect anthem for Pride Month "YER DIHH" hit it on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNlhNSFfJVM

Remembering gay icon Judy Garland who had a Birthday yesterday

All I consumed was a bowl of frozen fruit yesterday, discuss

Does running from reality count as cardio? Asking for a friend

Replacing my heart with Lego, step on it now bitch

I'm having an uncontrollable urge

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Michael's Musings

"The Wild Boys Are Calling"
Michael Shinafelt

"They tried to break us, looks like they'll try again

Wild boys (wild boys) never lose it
Wild boys (wild boys) never chose this way
Wild boys (wild boys) never close your eyes
Wild boys always shine" - Wild Boys, Duran Duran 

It's Pride Month come on get happy!

Current Mood: F#ck this sh!t, I'll be a stripper

Female Trouble, discuss 

Started watching Heated Rivalry, I know, I know, better late then never. Yep, it's as hot as I heard it is.

The final episode of Hacks was amazingly perfect in every little way.

His face was obscured but I knew he was looking at my chest, that's all

Pride Month Pro Tip: "Smile Like You Have A Naughty Secret" - Michael Shinafelt "Yes" this quote is from a column I wrote

Went to the 25th Anniversary Screening of David Lynch's Mulholland Drive at Hollywood Forever Cemetery as a VIP guest...resplendent!

Woman Crush of the Week - Gay Icon and ally Madonna, can't wait for "Confessions 2" to drop July 3rd!

Are you a whore in jail? Think about it, but not too much...

"I love working with women and making out with women" - Malin Akerman

Three words: Stop! That! Train!

Did anyone else fantasize about Armand Assante in his Little Darlings era? Raise your hand ✋

I'm going to be the guy with the most cake

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Michael's Musings

"Some Of Them Want To Be Abused"
Michael Shinafelt

"Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something

Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused" - Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This), Eurythmics 

Thought Of The Day: What if I die before I ever get to ride in a private jet???

FYI Great Minds think alike...but Dirty Minds work so frickin' well together!

I'm not going to make jokes about Pam Bondi having thyroid cancer. I hope she's treated with all the respect she showed the Epstein survivors, that's all

My Internet/Internet TV have been out since Saturday. The TV won't be up and running until it is restored, the computer is. "Yes' I am using my neighbors WiFi info to log on.

This weeks tally of F#cks given = 0, the more you know

Saw Obsession finally. OMG! It was truly horrifying and disturbing! When the credits started rolling I just sat there staring at them for a a minute, or so regaining my composure.

Reminder: May is National Masturbation Month, think about it, but not too much

The art of not being ready and doing it anyway will take you so far, indeed...

Woman Crush of the Week - How could if not be Inde Navarrette for her brilliant performance as Nikki Freeman in Obsession?! 

Your secret's safe with me because I wasn't even listening, discuss 

If you could only recommend one black and white film everyone should watch in their lifetime what would it be? Mine? Sunset Blvd.

It's not multiple personalities. It's called knowing your audience 

Jane Schoenbrun's Teenage Sex And Death At Camp Miasma starring Gillian Anderson and Hannah Einbinder made quite the splash at Cannes, can't wait to see it!!!

Time to head to the gym, TTFN

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Michael's Musings

"I Wanna Feel You From The Inside"
Michael Shinafelt

"You let me violate you

You let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you
You let me complicate you

I broke apart my insides
(Help me) I've got no soul to sell
(Help me) the only thing that works for me
Help me get away from myself" - Closer, Nine Inch Nails 

Me At Home: I need to go out! Me Out: I knew I should have stayed home

I guess my retirement plan should have been storming the Capitol on January 6th and waiting to get compensated

Young man sues parents for $150k for naming him "Gaylord" the more you know

Reading is cool, that's all

Make good movies or die, think about it, but not too much

Looking forward to seeing Teenage Sex And Death At Camp Miasma starring Gillian Anderson and Hannah Einbinder, it got raves at Cannes!

Is anyone out there a Law & Order: SVU fan like me? Last week's season finale was a banger

Imbibing in lemon water while writing this on my computer, and aren't you happy???

Woman Crush of the Week - The legendary Cher who crossed a milestone and turned 80 yesterday...Believe!

Don't you dare forget who the f#ck you are. You've walked through fire. You don't flinch at sparks.

You are someone's reason to _______ the blank is yours to fill in. I know what I inserted, ask me if you like

FYI don't write long E-mails, I'm not going to read them, I said what I said

T.W.A.T. = There We Are Then

I have lust in my heart today...

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Michael's Musings

Shake Your Booty
Michael Shinafelt

"Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
Shake your booty, shake your booty
Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake
Shake your booty, shake your booty" - KC and the Sunshine Band, (Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty

I Loved Being Judged By People I Never Want To Be Like

So if they're using Aliens to distract us from the Epstein files...does that make this Alien vs. Predator? 

RIP Pioneering Jason Collins, the first openly gay NBA player, his legacy will live on

I beg your finest f#cking pardon, that's all

OK, boots start walkin', think about, but not too much

Let's engage in some whimsy shall we? We shall!

All my traumas get converted into swag, and aren't you happy???

Why do you want to take away people's rights away? That's weird

Woman Crush of the Week - Taraji P Henson she tells like it is and she looks hot in a suit

"I'm sick of hearing history will judge them. Judge them now" - Jasmine Crockett

That's it, taste the rainbow!!!

Went to Marix in West Hollywood, CA for lunch yesterday had to have my quota of kick ass margaritas

Rob Who? IYKYK

Today I will try something new

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Michael's Musings

"Hit Me With Those Laser Beams"
Michael Shinafelt
Photo:
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"Relax, don't do it

When you want to go to it
Relax, don't do it
When you want to come
Relax, don't do it
When you want to suck it, chew it
Relax, don't do it
When you want to come
When you want to come" - Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Relax

Everything can be a sign if you're crazy or horny enough, think about it, but not too much

Caught The Devil Wears Prada 2 this past weekend. IMO it's better than the first, it's a more fully realized movie

I crave souls, but tacos will do for now, that's all

Speaking of tacos, how was your Cinco de Mayo? I spent mine at the world famous El Coyote. Why is it world famous you might ask? It's where Sharon Tate last dined for starters.

When your birthstone is a crack rock, discuss...

The Met Gala was. 

My mantra while writing: Write. Revise, Scream a Little. Repeat. 

FYI you will survive but you will become someone else

Woman Crush of the Week - Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada 2, she gave us a more layered and complex Miranda Priestly this outing...resplendent! 

PS I had dirty thoughts about you. I hope you felt them.

When children are shot in their classrooms, all politicians can offer are thoughts and prayers. When a shooting happens near them, they demand a $350 million golden ballroom to protect themselves.

It's never too late for coconut pie, the more you know

RIP Pioneering mogul Ted Turner 

Yes, I'm going to the gym today

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Michael's Musings

"This Is Your Burial"
Michael Shinafelt
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"Don't come closer

I'll push you further
I'm mesmerizing
A brutal lover" - Anne Hathaway, Burial from Mother Mary

Saw Mother Mary last Friday, loved it! It got under my skin and into my psyche, I can't stop thinking about it. 

FYI only whores can see this column, the more you know

Generation X Defined: Currently 45-60. Currently looks 30-40. Will throw hands. Words can't hurt us. Great work ethic. Zero tolerance for stupidity. TRUTH!

In case you aren't aware The Devil Wears Prada 2 opens tomorrow, there's that

That's so moral majority, think about it, but not too much

Last week's episode of Euphoria was hilarious! IYKYK

Happy Birthday to the legendary Ann-Margret who turned 85 on Tuesday

Imitated, but never duplicated, discuss...

Woman Crush of the Week - Michaela Coel in Mother Mary, mesmerizing and amazing!

Loving The Comeback! Lisa Kudrow and the rest of the cast are amazing! I'm 100% sure AI isn't writing the show (wink)

There's always a rumor about everyone, that's the way it goes

Be kind, but keep a little attitude tucked away for flavor

The Madonna/Sabrina Carpenter collab Bring Your Love drops today, and aren't you happy???

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