Michael's Musings

Popular! I know about popular!
Michael Shinafelt & Maresa Wickham

Well, well, well this has indeed been one of the best Birthday weeks I've ever had! If I gave you the details I would have to silence you...NOT! 

Getting older does not mean you act your age necessarily, but it does mean you are more responsible. So let's boogie! 

If you want religion in schools, I want the IRS in churches, that's all

Margaritas: a cold refreshing alternative to being annoyed by everyone

Everybody have fun tonight, everybody ______ the blank is yours to fill in

Binging Gossip Girl again (the original series) I can't get enough of it!

I had a grilled cheese sandwich on sour dough with garlic aioli and avocado with a side of fries for my Birthday lunch yesterday, delicious!!!

What do I do to get in the Holiday Spirit? Sit on a bearded man's lap & tell him what I want

This Christmas I'm giving people batteries with a note: Gift Not Included

I have reached the age where my brain says "you probably shouldn't say that" to "what the Hell, let's see what happens"

Woman Crush of the Week: Dorit Kemsley for her epic takedown of Camille Grammer calling her a C U Next Tuesday (several times) on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

The one thing I didn't get that I wanted for my Birthday? Tom Hardy naked 

Anyone want to be my downward dog???

Don't judge someone because they sin differently than you

Tip: If you drink a bottle of wine before walking your dog. it feels like they are helping you solve a crime. The more you know.

Speaking of crime I'm off to do some dirty deeds done dirt cheap

Do them with me here -

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Michael's Musings

DJ Play A Christmas Song...
Michael Shinafelt

"It's cold outside, but it's warm in here, And that's the only thing I want this year"
- Cher, DJ Play A Christmas Song

What do you want for Christmas this year Minions? Honestly I haven't given it any thought. I guess I should since it's a scant thirteen days away. Oh well, moving on...

Unfortunately some people were not put here to evolve. They are here to remind you what it looks like if you don't

Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help

If you drink pickle juice from a jar you may want to check yourself before you wreck yourself

Don't believe everything  you read on the Internet - William Shakespeare 

Krampus is my boo, the more you know...

Based on the Golden Globe nominations it seems The Substance is Oscar bound, YES!!!

Last Christmas I gave you my heart, But the very next day you stuffed it underneath the floorboards

If you can't send a Christmas card this year try offering something else (use your imagination *wink*)

Woman Crush of the Week - Pamela Anderson on receiving a Golden Globe nomination for The Last Showgirl, so happy for her!

So far the only "drama" on RHOBH has been Dorit ripping into Kyle like a hungry werewolf 

Keep yourself safe because no one has the right to say sh!t about you

A soul mate is someone who inspires you to complete yourself

Evil Dead Burn headed your way in 2026!

Speaking of burning, time to throw another log on the fire, baby it's cold outside!

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Michael's Musings

Be Extra
Michael Shinafelt

The countdown to Christmas has begun with a scant twenty days left, what to do and oh bother etc, etc...

Feeling overwhelmed? Then bend it like I do! That's me at Akbar in Silverlake, CA imbibing on a gin martini straight up two olives. What's on your agenda?

If you see me dancing in public don't judge me I just escaped some dark places  

Farrah Fawcett said it best in Charlie's Angels: "I am not a yo-yo"

Meat consumed as comfort food is also an emotional support animal

The real border crisis we're having in America is the one between church and state

Run the homecoming queen has a gun, and a tube on lipstick

I caved and wen to see Wicked in IMAX at the Chinese Theater in Hollywood...consider my mind blown!

When you see someone crying ask if it's because of their haircut

People just don't moon each other the way they used to

Woman Crush of the Week - Cynthia Erivo in Wicked she was off the hook amazing!

You have to die to live, think about it but not too much

Do you like Gladiator Movies? Asking for a friend

I'm late to the party but I am now on TikTok: @michaelshinafelt

Would you let the Prince of Sweden top you?

Thoughts and prayers I'm going to do some Christmas shopping today

Shop with me here -

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Michael's Musings

"Just Like Fire"
Michael Shinafelt

While Sagittarius Season does not officially begin until tomorrow I'm going to kick it off today. Why? Because, well I am a Sagittarian so there! 

I am more on the downhill slope of it, December 18th and as the meme above says, I'm "Just Like Fire" and being that Sagittarius is a fire sign, I'm very mindful, very aware...come let's jump into my inferno shall we??? Take the leap!

I found something and it's vibrating, the more you know

Make America Think Again, that's all

Whilst I am not a fan of Dorit Kemsley her laying into Kyle Richards on the season premiere of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was epic and deserved!

Hey, who wants to sneak into Heaven and pet all the dogs with me?

Miley Cyrus has a new concept album on the way called "Something Beautiful" YES!!!

Into the music I go, to lose my mind, and find my soul

TMI Time: I wanna be Tom Hardy's G.U.Y. (Guy Under You) 

So if God is turns out to be real I'm willing to give him a chance to apologize

Woman Crush of the Week - The iconic Bo Derek (who was one of my first woman crushes) who turned 68 yesterday. She will always be a 10!!!

Another highlight of the season premiere of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was Kathy Hilton giving Death Becomes Her vibes

Always stop and smell the roses, unless you happen to be allergic, there's that

Hiss until you get used to it, that's all you need to know

Finally Fleetwood Mac is getting a documentary, what took so long???

Everybody loves a pajama party!!!

Have one with me here -

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Michael's Musings

Flowin', Glowin', Electric Eyes
Michael Shinafelt

"We're gonna groove to Horton Hears a Who-who, I couldn't ask for another, No, I couldn't ask for another" - Groove Is In The Heart, Deee-Lite

After this long past week grooving to Horton Hears a Who sounds Dee-lightful, but after taking some time this guy has made some other plans. F#ck around and find out as I always say, and just did, moving forward never straight!

Make art, do spells, F#ck the system, that's all

The Bitches are back! Translation The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premieres this Tuesday!!!

Men invented God because they cannot stand that women create life, the more you know

The horrors persist, but so do I...

Aren't you getting real sick of underwear & responsibilities?!

Saw Emilia Perez on Netflix, amazing!!!

Always be the calmest person  in the room and know more than anyone thinks you do

rEVOLution...

Woman Crush of the Week - Zoe Saldana in Emilia Perez, so great, so beautiful! 

I'm about to "I will not accept a life I do not deserve" today. Thanks Maxine Minx 

Why do people get upset when you ask them which sauce they would taste best with? A person should know

Do you wanna shock? Discuss...

If my existence offends you, imagine how I feel about your outdated opinions

Did you know when dolphins communicate with each other they use many slur words for humans?

Follow me for this and other fun facts here -

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Michael's Musings

"I Wish I Were Dumb Enough
To Be Happy Today"
Michael Shinafelt

This is dedicated to the a certain percentage of Americans:

"Hello?
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me
Is there anyone at home?" - Comfortably Numb, Pink Floyd 

Time to move on, and hope for the best. I hear they can't wait to start work on Project 2025.  They told you who they are...

I wish I could pull the sad out of you 

How did I spend yesterday? Binging Sex and the City and drinking wine

My big fat _____ should be on Ozempic (the blank is yours to fill in)

Seeing as how I failed as a Disney Prince, I am now a witch, the more you know

Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know - Ernest Hemingway

FYI Although like most people I love Samantha Jones, Charlotte York is my favorite Sex and the City character

BTW Getting your sausage licked is overrated, that's all

I don't trust words, I trust vibes

Woman Crush of The Week - Patti Smith, People Have The Power!

A new Law and Order: SVU is on tonight, it's the little things

It's time I updated the font size on my phone

He will always be a duck man to me...

Zoe Kravitz and Channing Tatum have broken off their three year engagement. Hey, at least they didn't get married and divorced

Now if you'll excuse me I need to let the universe flow through me

Flow with me here -

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Michael's Musings

They're All Diabolical Bozos
Michael Shinafelt

"If you've ever wondered why the population's going down, Blame it on the plunder from the likes of the killer klowns" - Killer Klowns From Outer Space

Happy Halloween Minions! I spied one of the Killer Klowns From Outer Space this week on Hollywood Blvd. in Nivessa Vinyl Records. I took a quick photo op with him before he tried to grab me an take me away in his circus tent spaceship...Yikes! Luckily I escaped and am here to celebrate Halloween with all of you. 

Tonight I will be doing my usual tradition of watching my favorite horror movie of all time the original Halloween from 1978. What will you be doing???...Boo!!!

At the end of the hall I wait for your soul, the more you know

The hills are alive with the sound of F#ck This! That's all.

Your joke is factually incorrect. A guide to dying alone, indeed

Ever want the hobo to watch?

Remember pretty soon we have to go away for another year

Saw Daddio with Dakota Johnson & Sean Penn on Netflix. I really like it and the rapport between Johnson and Penn was amazing

The Ides of Mariah Carey will soon be upon us...

Your hand is just too short, discuss

Woman Crush of the Week - Halle Berry as a bewitching witch, have to believe she is magic!

Caught Olivia Rodrigo in concert on Netflix, I am now officially one of the "Livies"

While visions of Bruce Campbell danced in my head...

I voted yesterday...Harris/Walz 2024!!!

Happy Belated 53rd Birthday to Winona Ryder, "Yes" this makes me feel older

Well I'm off to get supplies for my date with Michael Myers this evening...

Join me here -

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Michael's Musings

Feliz Dia de los Muertos

Word to your pumpkin Minions! I am busy prepping for this weekends Day of the Dead celebration at Hollywood Forever Cemetery in Hollywood, CA, naturally, this Saturday. It's an amazing even that I am fortunate enough to get to attend via my friend and owner of Hollywood Forever Tyler Cassity.

If you are there HMU, I only bite when I'm asked...

Even if you didn't love her last movie, that's no reason to kill her, the more you know

I hope your day is as nice as your booo-ty

Others: "How old are you?" Me: "I remember when Kim Cattrall was a mannequin"

Not today Satan!

What am I going as for Halloween? Dom Top

It was not the truth they wanted, but an Illusion they could bear to live with - Anais Nin

Karen gracefully buries her piss in the litter box, discuss

Yes, yea, yes Pappa Bear! 

Woman Crush of the Week - Aaliyah she's forever my Queen of the Damned

Saw Anna Kendrick's directorial debut Woman of the Hour on Netflix, congratulations!

Reminder: You can not use pizza labels as name tags

Top or bottom, queen

Aubrey Plaza in White Lotus. If you know, you know

Every breath you take, And every move you make, Every bond you break.
Every step you take, I'll be watching you...

Here is where I'll be watching you -

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Michael's Musings

Fear is like a clown's make-up, 
It can hide the true face of evil
Michael Shinafelt

With all the buzz surrounding Terrifier 3 I thought it was high time that I saw Terrifier. "Yes" back where this lunacy began.

Here's my quick take the gore is what it is, over the top which translates to hilarious! The reason for the horror series success rests squarely on the shoulders David Howard Thornton who plays Art The Clown. Art is a one of a kind, unique horror creation. Without him and Thornton's expert skills in portraying him these little indies would be nothing. Boo!

Happy Satan impregnates his bride season!

The incredibly beautiful thing about the arts is the absence of boundaries. That said, do you have the absence without the presence? - Jenny DiMartino

I'm drunk, and I'm drunk at Vogue

Never F#ck with the daughter of a Serial Killer

Lisa Turtle is wasted, that's all

Where are the like minded perverts???

Please follow along on Television, or one of the many bugs you've planted in the Whitehouse

We're going to get you, the more you know

Woman Crush of the Week - Margaret Qualley as Sue in The Substance. Everything about her and the film are off the hook!

Some say Taylor Swift is a full blown witch, welcome sister...

FYI I haven't been this bored since I believed in Jesus

Still punk as F#ck, I whisper as I reach for my pill organizer

Aren't long walks alone the best?!

Fourteen more days until Halloween...can't wait!

Let's plan a Kiki here -

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Michael's Musings

Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name
Michael Shinafelt

"Please allow me to introduce myself

I'm a man of wealth and taste" - Sympathy For The Devil, The Rolling Stones

Tis the season for the Devil fa la la la la etc...Recently I was called Satan in Disguise by someone who really doesn't know anything, about anything. They got it wrong, actually I am pure living evil. Thank you, Michael has left the building he has havoc to spread...

Nudes are flowers for men, that's all

Being alone has a power that very few people can handle

If you act like you know what you're doing, you can do anything you want - except neurosurgery

The first time I saw you I made a pact with myself: "I will avoid loving you until you learn to love yourself" White Rabbit to Alice, Alice in Wonderland

I've always been a femme fatale. That's my job.

You have to give them hope. That's the one thing people don't have right now

The Black Cat at the Halloween carnival had a hissing booth

Law & Order: SVU is back Yay! 

Woman Crush of the Week - Traci Lords in the psychological horror film Excision. Great flick great performance.

I love flowers & murder, the more you know...

Every time you put up a Christmas tree before December, Mariah Carey eats the soul of one of Santa's elves

The first thing a cult does is tell you everyone else is lying

Usually, I tell people that they broke up with me, because essentially, they did. Because they made me do that - Lana Del Rey

She was marked with the curse of those who slink and court and kill by night

Wanna go out tonight?

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Michael's Musings

No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller!
Michael Shinafelt

"The foulest stench is in the air, The funk of forty thousand years, And grizzly ghouls from every tomb, are closing in to seal your doom" - Thriller 

28 days until Halloween...shivering with anticipation!

Text a random phone number this message: "The fat one won't fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?"

PS your inner child is fatter then mine. That's all.

Perhaps the journey isn't about becoming anything. Perhaps it's about unbecoming everything that isn't really you.

Finally saw the documentary Scream Queen! My Nightmare On Elm Street! About Nightmare On Elm Street 2 - highly recommended for fans of the genre (like me)

I've decided to stop wearing glasses, I've seen enough 

FYI Smart people don't tell you how smart they are (and good people don't tell you how good they are)

You are the tequila, not the lime...the more you know 

Woman Crush of the Week - Lindsay Lohan in honor of today being Mean Girls Day!

Rewatched Whatever Happened To Baby Jane with Bette Davis & Joan Crawford yesterday. Such a great movie.

Mark your calendars horror fiends. Neve Campbell is back for Scream 7 opening February 27, 2026...can't wait!

Loving Lady Gaga's cover of The Show Must Go On

BTW it looks like Sarah Paulson and Evan Peters are returning for season 13 of American Horror Story

RIP Kris Kristofferson 

What's you favorite Scary Movie? Tell me here -

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Michael's Musings

What Lies Beyond Dreams

"I do think someone is protecting me. I don't know if it's an angel it could be the devil" - Madonna

I'm Michael Shinafelt and I resemble this quote 100%! Now let's get to it strike a pose there's nothing to it..

Remember, when you are dead, you don't know your dead. The same applies when you are stupid

The Republicans are basically running a shock jock in a diaper who reads at a 4th grade level for POTUS

You're dry humping my last raw nerve

Mariah Carey is defrosting as we speak

Only 35 days until Halloween...

What would you do it Samara Morgan (The Ring) crawled out of your TV???

How many of you can admit you talk to yourselves, you know you want to

Fall is when the mosquitos return to Hell

Woman Crush of the Week - Demi Moore for her star turn in The Substance

God Bless Ozempic

The bar makes me cry and moan

Saw a portrait of Betty White with a bong a my local dispensery titled: Bongy White

The most underrated thing about me is my ability to transform

I also can take down down someone with a hand gesture

Talk to the hand here -

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Michael's Musings

Which One Will I Be Today???
Michael Shinafelt

We all have different sides to us, mine are "Cute" and "Savage" - which one of these sides do you think I spend the most time with during any given week? FYI you don't have to choose one or the other ya know, by combining the two you can make many good memories. Trust me...😈

As a person my country is the whole world, that's all.

Never be scared to cut certain people off. They weren't scared to give you a reason

Time to start letting people know what you think. That should eliminate the weak.

I don't need a ticket I'm just going to get on board the Soul Train

Saw The Perfect Couple on Netflix - very entertaining with some great off the wall moments

FYI I am the Pumpkin King! (think about it, but not too much) Only 42 days until Halloween!!!

Saw a quote by some "conservative" that he believes Taylor Swift if a full bown witch. I'm still trying to figure out why he thinks being a witch is a bad thing.

Art is what happens when you dare to be who you really are

Woman Crush of the Week - Nina Hagen "NunSexMonkRock" (if you know, you know)

Chris Hargensen @realchrishargensen on Tuth Social: I HATE CARRIE WHITE! 

Ruin your life, worry about things you can't control, or better yet, don't!!!

It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning

Thou shall not crave thye neighbor (Yes, you read this correctly)

Don't sit at tables where they talk about others. When you get up you're the topic

Can we talk here?

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Michael's Musings

I Do Not Like Green Eggs & Ham...
Michael Shinafelt

This week I'm clearly here to eat your dogs and cats. Yeah, I'm that kind of guy after all. Nothing could possibly top the surreal absurdity of Dump, and that's the nice way of putting it.

I did not watch the actual debate. I can not stomach him. I did however watch clips etc...Harris/Walz 2024!!!

Delayed does not mean denied, trust the process

Remember my attitude will be based on how you treat me

Saw Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice I will never think of the song MacAthur Park the same way again...

The old me was afraid of losing people, the new me doesn't care anymore

Opinions are like assholes, only you know who you really are

Let's get on it, it's time to get down

I don't give a blueberry muffin what you call your nether regions

Finally watched the Scooby Doo Movie. I give it an "A" for Awful

Woman Crush of the Week - Sade for supporting her tansgender son Izaak with her track Young Lion

The childless cat ladies have been activated! Let's go!

Woman kills baby live on stage 78 years after it's birth, think about it, but not too much

Rest In Power James Earl Jones

Shailene Woodley to star as Janis Joplin, discuss...

It's Thursday time to namaste 

Keep it real with me here -

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Michael's Musings

Michael Shinafelt

Everything is unfolding in divine order...

Indeed!

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Michael's Musings

I'm Not Selling Cheap...
Michael Shinafelt

Current Mood: Oh, make me over,I'm all I want to be, A walking study, In demonology...that's all...

OK, am I the only one who is undewhelmed by the Lady Gaga/Bruno Mars duet Die With A Smile?!

Beware of the Giraffe Of Doom!!!

Change is hard. But staying somwhere you don't belong will literally destroy you

When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, it surprises me how many people bring a knife on a date

BTW mine is completely broke too

Yep, it's another miserable childless day for me and my fellow cat people 

Eat, Drink and Shut Up!!!

Know your role and fall in line, the conga line naturally

Woman Crush of the Week - Rewatched Splendor in the Grass so this shout out is to my eternal crush Natalie Wood, she is amazing!

The hardest words to write or say are usually the best ones

Your haters can't stand to see you happy...SMILE!

As one chapter ends, another begins, is that awesome or what???

Is anyone surprised that Jennifer Lopez &  Ben Affleck are divorcing? Yeah, I thought not...

Time to beat the heat, what do you think I am doing to accomplish this???

Find out here -

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Michael's Musings

White Guys For Kamala
Michael Shinafelt

Harris/Walz 2024! Live it, learn it, make it a reality!

Woman Crush of the Week - A legend has left us. RIP to the amazing Gena Rowlands

Get with me here -

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Michael's Musings

Ooops, I Didn't Know I Couldn't Talk About Sex
Michael Shinafelt

Let's talk about sex baby! Ha! Now that I have your attention let's have a Kiki!

It's the year 2024 and people are still having sex. Guess what?! People are still acting like Puritans and judging others on the things they don't do.

My advice? Tell them to get their own life and fall in line because as the old addage goes: What other people think about me is none of my business...

I like women into sex! You go grrrrl!!!

A black woman of the streets walked by me the other day in Hollywood screaming at the top of yourl lungs: I would love to work with Dakota Fanning

About 8 inches makes June the wettest in History

Remember pants on the ground?! Well now you have been reminded

Sweetheart, you can’t go listening to every f**king little voice that runs through your head. You’ll go nuts.

Don't let someone who never went anywhere take you there with them, that's all

VP Tim Walz!

The Republican ticket is basically the people you avoid at Family Reunions

Woman Crush of the Week - Simone Biles winning three gold and one silver at the Olympics!

My golden rule: Mind your own damned business!!!

It's the end of an era my favorite brunch lunch spot around the corner from me on Fountain Ave, Square One Diner is closed after 16 years in biz 😢

OK, I'm going to say it: Sharks aren't eating enough people

No I'm not sorry and I have no regrets

Time to celebrate life, Happy Thursday

Join me here -

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Michael's Musings

It's A Brat Summer!
Michael Shinafetl

That's correct Minions I'm having a Brat Summer, because while reading up on the trend I saw the the six things one needs to do to have a truly Brat Summer.

One of the key things? "Have fun in spite of it all." Based on this one I am a MAJOR Brat! The more you know...

FYI Fear is stupid and so are regrets. Not to mention house cleaning.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't have to debate Kamala!

Me seeing someone's baby for the first time: "They have their Father's eyes." If you know, you know

Don't bother me I'm joy riding on an astral plane

When shopping for wines look in the Exciting Whites section. That's all you need to know

BTW I don't have a bucket list, But my f#ck it list is a mile long, you?

Nothing is hotter than the view of a young in shape Marlon Brando shirtless. Fight me!!!

I don't know about you, but this weekend I wanna rock a little!

Woman Crush of the Week - Madonna who is celebrating the release of Cherish 35 years ago today! All hail the Queen!

It's always out of code, time to break out the MAMU 

There's a very unhinged amount of GIFs and stickers

When somone leaves me a voice mail I feel stalked

If you thought the debate was bad you really won't like the swimsuit competition

Time for me to marry the day

Attend the cermony here -

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Michael's Musings

The Ministry Of Love
Michael Shinafelt

Well this past week has been quite the interesting one, no? With Joe Biden exiting the Presidential Race and Kamala Harris now the Democratic Nominee for the position. 

There's an electricity in the air that has accompanyed this Historic moment. Me? I'll mind my own business with what I'm doing and that's all you need to know...love for sale!

Every time we leave our homes we should get a participation trophy

We don't have more patience when we get older. We just don't give a f#ck about pointless drama anymore

Went and saw Lonlegs this past weekend, really creepy horror flick that gets under your skin

God gave you free will so that you have the choice to worship him or go to Hell

Just wait until Beyonce and Taylor Swift endorse Kamala Harris, you'll find out

FYI I call my toilet the situation room, the more you know...

It will be just like in the movies

The trailer for Joker: Folie a Deux looks amazing!!!

Woman Crush of the Week - Halle Berry posing topless with cats to celebrate the 20th anniversary of her notorious flop Catwoman!

98 days until Halloween, the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, Woot! 

I'm sure I'll be the odd man out this weekend since I will not be seeing, nor do I have the desire to see the Deadpool & Wolverine movie

Lynda Carter truly is Wonder Woman

Reminder: Find your joy! It can be done!

Now where did I put my Joy Toy???

Help me find it here -

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