Michael's Musings

Hey, You're Too Funky For Me
Michael Shinafelt

"Baby, baby, baby, why do you do this to me?

Won't let you go (won't let you go)
You're such a, you're such a
Baby, baby, baby, why do you do this to me?
I've got to know (I've got to know)
(I'm gonna be the kind of lover that you never had)
Hey, you're just too funky" - Too Funky, George Michael

There was a Blue Tidal Wave on Tuesday, release the Kraken! IYKYK 

Darlene Graham honored her late brother Lindsey by finishing on bottom, think about it, but not too much.

Current Mood: Too Funky, in case you couldn't tell

Just remember that given the abundance of neurodivergent people in science, it's far more likely autism causes vaccines, that's all

Caught The Burbs on Peacock, I love me some Keke Palmer and she did not disappoint. The show was brisk, entertaining and fun!

The day after Halloween I was bummed that Spooky Season had come to a close

I'm pretty tough for someone who needs a step stool in every room of the house, the more you know...

American Horror Story season 13. WTF was the heaping mess?!

Woman Crush of the Week - Keke Palmer who lit up the cul de sac in The Burbs

On my deathbed, I'm gonna say "I hid 20 million in the..." and then die, discuss

Singer Mike Clifford turns 83 today, stop by and wish him a Happy Birthday here: 

https://www.facebook.com/MikeCliffordsWonderfulWorld/

Had a coloscopy this past Tuesday, and aren't you happy?!

Never interrupt me when I am communicating with the dead. I said what I said.

Today I am using my powers for ______ the blank is yours to fill in. Choose wisely grasshopper...

Anyway you know where to find me -

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Vote!

Michael Shinafelt

“Voting is the expression of our commitment to ourselves, one another, this country, and this world.” -  Sharon Salzberg

Have you voted yet? I voted two weeks ago and put it in a drop box. 

If you have already voted, congrats! If you haven't what are you waiting for...It's Election Day.

Get out there and make your voice heard Minons!

Election Day tips on the WWW -

https://www.usa.gov/election-day 

Guess What? It's Halloween!

Take Me To The River
Michael Shinafelt

Happy Halloween Minions! 

It's my favorite Holiday of the year, "Yes" you read that correctly. I hope you all have some fiendish things plan to celebrate this high holy day.

My plan this year is to  Seek out the dark forces and join the hellish crusade, and aren't you happy?!

As you can see the Ferrymen await to take me on my journey down the River Styx.

Gotta Go! 

Beware, have fun and be safe!

Halloween on the WWW -

https://www.history.com/articles/history-of-halloween   

Michael's Musings

"I dream at night, I can only see your face"
Michael Shinafelt

"Every breath you take

And every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you

Every single day
And every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you" - Every Breath You Take, The Police

Saturday it's here...Halloween!!! If you are like me you have been celebrating Spooky Season all month!

Kudos the Cheyenne Jackson for his One Job Away service to help actors qualify for health insurance through the Screen Actors Guild union. Check it out here https://www.instagram.com/one.job.away/

I'd rather be hated for who I include than loved for who I exclude, that's all

Finally got around to watching, OK, I turned it off midway Five Nights At Freddy's. I'm guessing that you know what I thought of it at this point.

Did you hear? Carrie White will return in Avengers: Doomsday

My emotional support snake spits, the more you know...

Finished binging Crystal Lake, IMO it was OK. That being stated Linda Cardellini was amazing!

Does anyone ever have dreams where a vampire is chasing them? I always give in and let him bite me, and then sadly I wake up

Woman Crush of the Week - Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween 1978. My favorite horror flick of all time!!!

Sorry for being a dick, there were too many noises happening at once, and I could feel my zipper

Went to the Day of the Dead celebration at Hollywood Forever Cemetery, so much fun!

Some people cross your path and change your whole direction, discuss 

Remember to always smell nice. The first hole you penetrate is someone's nostrils. Think about it, but not too much.

I dined at El Coyote this week I love going there during Spooky Season as they go all out with the decor. I also sat across from the booth that Sharon Tate had dinner in before her untimely death.

Happy Halloween Minions!!!

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Michael's Musings

I Am So Happy That You're Mine
Michael Shinafelt

"Little things that I should have said and done
I never took the time
You were always on my mind, You were always on my mind" - Always On My Mind, Pet Shop Boys

It's almost here! 9 Days Until Halloween!!! The best day of the year.

Ruin a book title by adding a word: Moby Dick Pic

Please have a seat and wait over there until you are useful, that's all

I've been binging the Creepshow anthology series on Tubi, tis the season after all

Fingers crossed the next viral trend is critical thinking, discuss

Like many film buffs out there I went to see the uncut, uncensored director's cut of Ken Russell's The Devils: MINDBLOWING!

People meet me and say "you're so quiet" nahhh I'm reading you, give me a minute, the more you know...

My Amazon order arrives today, and aren't you happy?!

Woman Crush of the Week - the personification of Halloween The Mistress of the Dark: Elvira and her pumpkins!

Feeling an El Coyote trip in the near future. It's the famous Mexican restaurant in Los Angeles where Sharon Tate ate last before her untimely passing

Wisdom: Step your pu$$y up, think about it, but not too much

I can't remember where I placed my Zuni Fetish Doll IYKYK 

October is my favorite month ever for a myriad of reasons, one of them is it always feels like a reboot of self for me

Time to motor, got a plethora of things to take care of in Hollywood today

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Michael's Musings

Vote Early!
Michael Shinafelt

"Maximum big surprise she knows something new
I pull my shirt off and pray
I'm saving myself to suffer the heat wave
Pull my shirt off and pray

We're coming up on re-election day, aw" - Election Day, Arcadia  

Here are some election tips: Vote early (as you can see I did) if possible put your ballot in a drop box rather than mailing it, for obvious reasons. Now just do it!

Please don't mess with me, I'll dig your granny up and use her as a Halloween decoration, tis the season after all

BTW Nudes are overrated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you aren't dumb. The more you know...

Even The Twilight Zone isn't this f#cked up, think about it, but not too much

I know I'm late to the game just started binging Only Murders in the Building. What a well done, fun show Steve Martin, Martin Short and Selena Gomez make the perfect trio.

John Carpenter's Halloween (1978) just received a 30 minute standing ovation from me in my bedroom after viewing it for the 100th time. 

I refuse to feel shame for embracing my _______ nature. Time to own it Minions, the blank is yours to fill in

Can't wait to see the restored, uncensored, director's cut of Ken Russell's The Devils tomorrow. I love this film and am excited the see it the way it was meant to be seen.

Woman Crush of the Week - Vanessa Redgrave who plays Sister Jeanne a sexually obsessed nun in The Devils. There is no one else who cold have pulled this off, she's amazing!

Reminder Horror Fans (like me): Crystal Lake the Friday the 13th prequel series drops today on Peacock.

Remember your first visit to a Haunted House? I do...

Things that make you go hmmm...a 22 year old model got a nose job so her future kids will inherit her new nose not her "ugly nose"

Hitting The Horror Show Exhibition at the Academy Museum sometime in the next couple of weeks

I'm craving a Goldburger presently, yummy!

What are you craving, share with me here: 

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Michael's Musings

We've Met Before, Haven't We?
Michael Shinafelt

Boo! Hello Minions! As you know it's my favorite time of the year October, not least because of Halloween happening all month long. I am a hard one to give a good scare to, or to get creeped out over something, But it does happen on occasion. 

Thus the photo above is a homage to Robert Blake as "Mystery Man" in David Lynch's Lost Highway. Every time he appeared on screen a sense of dread and fear washed over me. It was one of those lightning in a bottle experiences, the images of him still haunt me to this day. That's all...

Just found out that female penguins will exchange sex for nice rocks. So if you're having a sh!t day, just remember that hooker penguins exist

Did one of those which Halloween character are you things online. Turns out I'm Annabelle, go figure

Hitting the 50th Anniversary Screening of Carrie at Hollywood Forever Cemetery this Saturday. Can't wait to see the ending in that setting! IYKYK!!!

I love how in horror movies the person yells out "Hello?" as if the killer is gonna yell out, "In the kitchen, want a sandwich?" 

BTW if you believe forcing God into schools will improve morality, I'm gonna need you to explain why it didn't work in your church...I'm waiting!!!

Saw a great indie revenge film called Violation on Tubi. It's definitely has it's own unique POV and well worth watching.

While Googling, very few letters are as important as the "R" in Gary Oldman, think about it, but not too much

Did you know Charles Manson and Ted Bundy were lovers on the Titanic, it's true - Ryan Murphy, probably

Woman Crush of the Week - The Queen of Spooky Season Sarah Michelle Gellar not just for Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Helen Shivers from I Know What You Did Last Summer is iconic as well. Were not worthy!

The only difference between "Religion" and "Superstition" is the spelling. The more you know.

Who's the biggest slut in the pumpkin patch??? Tell me

Repeat after me: "I'm too amazing to be someone's unsure thing" 

"I wish the world thought more like a gay man" - Shannen Doherty 

Parting Thought: What kind of creatures do you see in your dreams when you take off brand melatonin???

Tell me here -

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Michael's Musings

Like An Angel On A Balcony
Michael Shinafelt

"Afterglow in a distant row

The door is open and the lights are cold
The children come in here and they dare the ghost
Like a fire burning in a stone" - Angels On The Balcony, Blondie 

Hello October my favorite month of the year!

FYI I put threesomes on my resume so they know I work well with others

Been revisiting Murder House the first season of American Horror Story on Hulu. The show certainly started off strong, that's all.

Breaking News: Dog can't believe guy she hooked up with 10 years ago is now head of the FBI

Only 30 days until Halloween...!!! In case you didn't get it, "Yes" I love Halloween!

The fastest way to kill a good idea is asking too many people what they think about it

My BF asked me to start calling him daddy, so now when we argue I yell "You're not my real dad" think about it, but not too much

I may regret this decision but "Yes" I am seeing Verity on Friday. Hoping for something fun and escapist

Woman Crush of the Week - Speaking of Verity, Dakota Johnson who plays Lowen Ashleigh in it. This should be fun!

Also speaking of Verity Josh Hartnett is looking mighty DAF lately

Tis the season to watch John Carpenter's Halloween over and over again

I'm sure Kylie Jenner doesn't feel guilty on her private jet, your plastic straw is fine, the more you know...

Celebrating the first day of October doing yoga at Hollywood Forever Cemetery, how fitting

Where is Art The Clown when you need him? 

Help me find Art here -

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Michael's Musings

I Was Justified When I Was Five
Michael Shinafelt

"So you say it's not okay to be gay, well, I think you're just evil

You're just some racist who can't tie my laces
Your point of view is medieval

F#ck you (F#ck you), f#ck you very, very much
'Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So, please don't stay in touch" - F#ck You, Lily Allen 

Tonight's the night...American Horror Story Season 13 premieres with all the OG's returning. Can't wait to see what they do with it!

Pro Tip: Always wave at people who missed the train, the more you know

Someone just called me a c#nt. I needed that, I thought I lost my spark

Tis my favorite season Spooky Season...Indeed

Aren't you glad Taylor Swift decided to be a pop star and not the Zodiac Killer with her little riddles? Discuss...

Be art, confuse people. You are meant to be explored, not understood

Finally caught Sofia Coppola's Marie Antionette with Kirsten Dunst on Netflix...Loved It!

Behavior is not character. You can change how you speak, the way you move, they way you dress; that doesn't mean that's who you are, that's all

Woman Crush of the Week - Jessica Lange, the Queen of American Horror Story is back to reclaim her throne!

Mike Clifford drops the video for his cover of Herman's Hermits "There's A Kind Of Hush" tomorrow on YouTube

When your computer goes down on you, think about it, but not too much

Here's a compromise: Print out the unredacted Epstein Files and tape them to the Kennedy Center. Boom! His name will be all over the place

Turned Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story off on Netflix after 3 episodes. That's all you need to know.

In case you haven't gotten the memo, I'm back in full B!tch mode, buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy ride!!!

I'll take you for a ride here:

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Hello Fall

Michael Shinafelt

Summer is officially over, today is the first day of my favorite season...Fall.

I especially love doing yoga outdoors at Hollywood Forever Cemetery as pictured above.

Thus guess how I will be kicking off Fall today?

Namaste

Fall on Wikipedia -

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autumn   

Michael's Musings

Are We Gonna Let The Elevator Bring Us Down?
Michael Shinafelt

"Let's go crazy

Let's get nuts
Let's look for the purple banana
'Til they put us in the truck
Let's go" - Let's Go Crazy, Prince 

If you live long enough you will become your authentic self, that's all

Be delusional, be hopeful, dream big, why the Hell not?!?!

FYI Summer is over, Labor Day has passed, release the bats

Got my ticket to see the restored director's cut of Ken Russell's The Devils opening day on October 16 first matinee, and aren't you happy???

Revisited Peggy Sue Got Married starring Kathleen Turner and directed by Francis Ford Coppola. It lands different when you are older, a wonderful film.

Everyone has that one friend who can turn any conversation into something dirty. I am him.

Trump announces that if the GOP retains control of Congress, he will send you 10 CDs for just one penny!

Had a McChicken at McDonald's for the first time in forever last night, and I liked it

Woman Crush of the Week - Kathleen Turner who was nothing short of amazing in Peggy Sue Got Married. Fact: she did receive an Oscar nomination for Best Actress for her performance.

It ain't got a thing, if it ain't got that sling! Think about it, but not too much

Congratulations to Jean Smart for winning an Emmy for her performance as Deborah Vance for all five seasons of Hacks

I need a Tom Hardy fix and I need it now!!!

Have a problem with me? Text me. If you don't have my number you don't know me well enough to have a problem with me

Kash Patel is most likely in some bar presently pounding wild turkey. He might also be having a drink. The more you know.

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Michael's Musings

You Make Me Hard When I'm All Soft Inside
Michael Shinafelt

"I come along, but I don't know where you're taking me

I shouldn't go, but you're wrenching, dragging, shaking me
Turn off the sun; pull the stars from the sky
The more I give to you, the more I die

And I want you
And I want you
And I want you
And I want you

You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug" - The Perfect Drug, Nine Inch Nails

Due to personal reasons I am evil now, that's all you need to know

Marked Safe from  being renamed by Donald Trump today

All the boys love Mandy Lane, there's that 

Here's hoping Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story kills it (literally and figuratively) I am perpetually fascinated by her

If you believe kids are getting gender transition surgery at school, you are too stupid to vote, that's all

I am strong, I am unbothered, I am hot and aren't you happy?!

PS if you're feeling a sudden calm, it's because I took your voodoo doll out for a picnic on a grassy hill

Did you hear? South Park is changing it's name to South America for Season 29 to mock Trump, I love those guys!

Woman Crush of the Week - The newly monikered Miley and her hot new single Bass Persuades. Obviously I am a fan!

Here's an idea...A lesbian remake of Brokeback Mountain called Beaver Creek Valley. Think about it, but not too much.

In other news: Jaclyn Smith says Charlie's Angels costar Tanya Roberts asked her to have a threesome, the more you know...

Always remember, never forget: "You're just a hole for daddy" discuss

I'm a big fan of my attitude

I'm a Sagittarius wanna know the things that make me happy?

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Toxic

Michael Shinafelt

Everyone has a "Toxic Trait" or two. I thought today I would share mine with you.

My "Toxic Trait" is....drum roll please: Knowing the truth before I ask because I wanna see how good you lie.

Go ahead, judge me all you want, but at least I own it!!!

So what's your "Toxic Trait?" 

You can tell me, I promise I won't tell another soul, living or otherwise.

Have a groovy week!

Toxic Trait on Medium.com -

https://medium.com/write-your-world/everyone-has-a-toxic-trait-f49bd977d7c2 

Michael's Musings

My Demons Would Bend Yours Over, Cheers!
Michael Shinafelt

"Traveling through space and time

Interstellar helix unwind
Don't forsake or the love will die
Don't forget your love, alright
On the spiral light, we fly
We will be one, we will be divine
All the spirits, they all intertwine
Don't forget that" - Good For The Soul, Madonna 

Remember where you're standing was once the goal, indeed.

Congratulations to Olivia Rodrigo on the success of her Daisy Chain Fields festival which gave 20 million to women's causes, Bravo!!!

They say the machines of the future will be as smart as people...OK, but which people? Because that matters quite a bit

FYI Kale has negative calories because it's caloric count is less than the energy expended throwing it up, the more you know...

The weather has finally cooled down in Los Angeles. "Yes" it's nice to be able to walk to the corner store without feeling you are going to collapse from the heat

To the person or persons who vandalized Dolly Parton's star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. Cretin(s)!!!

Caught the Meta black comedy Rotting Under The Sun with Sebastian Silva and Jordan Firstman as exaggerated versions of themselves on Mubi. It was fun and quite shall we say gay, that's all

You don't have to worry about me cheating the only thing I do behind your back is stare at your

ass

Woman Crush of the Week - Evan Rachel Wood for her for knockout performance as Liz Schaffer on The Shards

BTW I'm a Sagittarius and I can't take advice from someone whose life I wouldn't want, think about it, but not too much

Today I have to wait around for a Fed-Ex package to show up, and aren't you happy???

Driving to your stupid job every day because society refuses to collapse, discuss

Unlucky: 6th grader flunks Geography after Trump renames everything in the middle of the exam, there's that

Should I use my powers for good or evil today? Hmmm

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Michael's Musings

 

Don't Point That Thing At Me Unless You Plan To Shoot
Michael Shinafelt

"You won't escape alive

Of what's become your life
Stop crying like a child
You got what you want!" - Harder You Get, Scissor Sisters

Do you give "Good Vibes?" Asking for a friend...

FYI I have resting "F#ck That" face, you???

Rest In Power Dolly Parton you were loved by everyone

Funny how voter fraud was never a real crisis for 250 years, until a fraud became president

A man tried to yell at me today but I'm Gen-X and the eldest son, so now he's crying in his wittle car in the parking lot, that's all

Pennywise and Frank-N-Furter have left the building RIP Tim Curry

That's interesting...think about it, but not too much

"Find out who you are and do it on purpose" - Dolly Parton 

Woman Crush of the Week - Leah Remini joining The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills for the upcoming season, she's exactly what the show needs!

Indulged myself in a gin martini and some calamari at Found Oyster last night, delicious! The more you know...

Worst thing about a heat wave other than the obvious? When you have your A/C on full blast and feels like it's not helping any

"I don't fear death, I try to avoid it, as I think we all do" - Tim Curry

It's hard to watch all these beautiful things be carried away by time and see the wrong things growing in their place.

You know the saying "Be the change you want to see in the world?" do that even more

Be the change with me here -

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Michael's Musings

I've Got A Dirty Mind
Michael Shinafelt

"You stare are you looking at me

Or just an image from your colour tv
Dollar signs and neon lights
Shine on the people every night
I'm going down to the river to wash my sins away
But they'll be back tomorrow anyway
I've got a dirty mind
I've got a dirty mind
Take a look at yourself
I've got imagination
I got hallucinations
Do you want some?" - Dirty Mind, Shakespear's Sister 

I shaved my balls for this?! "Yes" this is for me to know and you to never find out. That's the way it goes!

POV: If you love someone let them go, if they come back, it means no one liked them, so let them go again...

On a personal note I am enjoying Stassi's new "reality show" House Of Stassi, especially how it breaks the fourth wall

It's going to be a mere 87 degrees in Los Angeles today, down from 91 yesterday, ugh!

Almost quit drinking wine, but then I thought about the people who work for the wineries in order to feed their families...Cheers!

Does anyone know of someone who does witch stuff? Asking for a friend

Saw Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma last Friday. Run in your underwear to see it!!!

"Anybody know how that a$$hole grew his ear back" - Vincent van Gogh 

Woman Crush of the Week - Hannah Einbinder of "Hacks" fame who looks quite fetching in her underwear in "Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma" 

As you mature, you realize nothing is ever a loss. It's either redirection, protection, or a realization.

RIP - Hayden Panettiere your portrayals of Kirby Reed and Juliette Barnes will always be iconic to me

Does anyone share my love of jalapeno peppers on pretty much everything?

It's cinnamon, not fireball, that's all...

90 plus degree temperatures and over 50% humidity is why we can't have yoga outside anymore. First world problems.

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