Michael's Musings

"You're A Vile One, Mr. Grinch"
Michael Shinafelt & The Grinch

"You're a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart's an empty hole! Your brain is full of spiders, You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch. I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!" - You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch 

Dear Anyone I offended this year: Work on yourself so you might be spared in 2026, that's all

Never confuse love and pity. I'm terribly sorry I did. The more you know...

Remember if you don't have a chimney Santa will be coming in your backdoor, think about it, but not too much

It's too cold to pull out...stay inside

There's a parallel universe where Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store's speaker system. Indeed.

Karma won't do everything.. Learn to insult people sometimes. 

This week Trump claimed that 300 million Americans died from drugs last year. The entire population of the United States is only 340 million. I believe we'd have noticed.

Other than aiding in losing weight I just found out GLP-1 drugs help with aging of the brain.

Perfect!

Woman Crush of the Week - Aunt Gladys, watched Weapons for the second time and she is even more insidious than the first time 

Loving Timothee Chalamet and Kylie Jenner both wearing orange to the Marty Supreme premiere

Cheers! To the seven Golden Globe Nominations Sinners received. Well deserved! 

BTW In case you were wondering, I ask questions, not permission, that's all you need to know

I'm loving the Spring weather we are experiencing in Los Angeles presently

Guess what? I'm turning 60 a week from today!!!

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Michael's Musings

I Can Go For Miles If You Know What I Mean
Michael Shinafelt

"I'm comin' up so you better get this party started

(I'm comin' up, you better)
I'm comin' up so you better get this party started

Get this party started

Makin' my connection as I enter the room
Everybody's chillin' as I set up the groove
Pumpin' up the volume with this brand new beat
Everybody's dancin' and their dancin' for me"  - Get The Party Started, Pink

"Yes" the party has started Minions! I am turning 60 on December 18th, thus I will be celebrating this milestone all month! Cheers!

Take your life and make it the best story in the world. Don't waste that sh!t. Words to live by.

FYI I manifested, but I also did the f#cking work, the more you know

Sorry I missed church I was busy practicing witchcraft, think about it, but not too much

That time you tried to pronounce the name of your medication, but accidentally summoned Satan...

I'm so festive, I bought a poinsettia for my end table at home, and aren't you happy???

When you think your Door Dash has arrived but it's a Jehovah's Witness, discuss

If they want to paint you as the villain, then strike a pose

Woman Crush of the Week - Sabrina Carpenter for speaking out about the White House using her song Juno, to promote ICE in a video, love her!

The bitches are back! Season 15 of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is tonight!!!

BTW Santa Claus just can't deal with your crap right now, so stand back

I'm "doing lunch" today at El Coyote as part of my month long Birthday celebration, that's all

Can someone gift me Alexander Skarsgard with a strategically placed bow on his person for my Birthday?

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Michael's Musings

All I Wanna Do, Is Make A Meal Of You
Michael Shinafelt

"I eat cannibal

Feed on animal
Your love is so edible to me
I eat cannibals

I eat cannibal
It's incredible
You bring out the animal in me
I eat cannibals" - I Eat Cannibals, Toto Coelo 

Happy Thanksgiving Minions!

FYI I can get you on the naughty list, the more you know...

I don't "do" revenge because losing someone like me is enough, that's all

An all new Exorcist is in the works with horror auteur Mike Flanagan at the helm and Scarlett Johansson set to star. I'm in!

How does Godzilla bake his Thanksgiving Turkey? Think about it, but not too much

On this day of feasting remember you need to give thanks and "to serve man" IYKYK  Hint: The Twilight Zone

Saw Wicked For Good yesterday...loved it as much as I loved the first one and that's saying something!

Don't forget to give thanks for the "Slutty Moments" in your life

Woman Crush of the Week - Ariana Grande so good in the first Wicked. We are completely under her spell in Wicked For Good

Sometimes people must be escorted from the VIP section of your life to a regular seat

In case you ever thought differently, I am not a yo-yo! Thank you.

Something I'm thankful for? Jonathan Groff reveals he will be performing in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade without any underwear. Yeah, I'm tuning in just for that!

We were taught to fear witches instead of the people who burned them.. and that is the problem

I'm going to do some major gobbling today, that's all you need to know

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Michael's Musings

Just Step Into My Office
Michael Shinafelt

"I'll be your father figure

I drink that brown liquor
I can make deals with the devil because my dick's bigger" - Taylor Swift, Father Figure

Stop being scared of being disliked by losers, that's all

We are made of stardust, dreams and magic, the more you know

If you are truly wild at heart, you'll fight for your dreams 

We've seen Trump dance. We do not need a ballroom.

Started watching The Beast In Me on Netflix. I am up to episode 5. No spoilers please.

I'm going to start a band called "Torturous Sheriff Bitches" right here, right now

Welcome let's talk about Serial Killers shall we? We shall!

Seeing Wicked For Good this coming Wednesday in IMAX...can't wait!

Woman Crush of the Week - The amazing Cynthia Erivo! I'm looking forward to seeing her as Elphaba again in Wicked For Good.

I for one am intrigued by Sam Raimi's remake of Magic starring Anthony Hopkins and Ann-Margaret. It should be a banger!

"Quiet Piggy" should be on his tombstone

We've been having rain and cooler temperatures in Los Angeles of late. It's been a nice change of pace.

Stop oversharing just because someone was being nice to you, rinse and repeat

"I guess it's about trying to live a life where I'm not contributing to the cruelty in the world" - Jessica Chastain

Bend it like Jessica with me here -

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Michael's Musings

Money Buys Love And A Wild Time
Michael Shinafelt

"He's a personality, enjoying popularity

For making movies Rated X
Posing for a magazine, picture in a limousine
Someone simulating sex
Never thought that he could be
Lonely with his vanity" - Rated X, Pat Benatar

How am I supposed to trust you when you keep running away when I untie you???

FYI If they want to paint you as the villain, then pose, that's all

So Madonna 67 is getting married to her boyfriend Akeem Morris 29. With her money and success why bother with marriage?

Do not feed hallucinogens to the werewolves, the more you know

Caught Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein on Netflix. Great piece of filmmaking! I had a unique reaction to it. It was a meditative experience for me while viewing it.

Note to all premature Christmas decorators. Calm down Mary hasn't even told Joseph she's pregnant yet.

Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard's name

Rumor has it Zendaya is refusing to do promotional interviews with Sydney Sweeney for Euphoria. IFYKYK.

Woman Crush of the Week - Kerry Washington, I've been rewatching Scandal on Netflix. She's so great anti-hero Olivia Pope.

Pssst! Did you hear?! The Supreme Court declined the case overturning Marriage Equality! Well at least they got this one right.

Before this year ends, you'll rise into a version of yourself you never imagined possible

One week from tomorrow Wicked: For Good opens! I can't wait!

We are made of Stardust, Dreams and Magic. Read that again.

Fact Of The Day: A "Butt Load" is a real unit of measurement equal to 126 gallons, the more you know...

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Michael's Musings

I Want To Feel Your Body
Michael Shinafelt

"Hot and cold emotions

Confusing my brain
I could not decide
Between pleasure and pain

Like a tramp in the night
I was begging for you
To treat my body
Like you wanted to" - Samantha Fox, Touch Me (I Want Your Body)

It's not a walk of shame, it's the "just got laid parade," the more you know...

Whoever came up with "fall back" is evil. It's 4:30 and 10:30 at the same time, discuss

BTW Self loathing is out! We are now hot sluts who love ourselves

Repeat after me: I am moist therefore I am

"Trump filed lawsuits over jokes, tweets and news articles, but not once over any of the countless allegations of child rape. I feel like more people should mention that." - Andrea Junker

Congratulations to the simply irresistible Jonathan Bailey for being the first gay man to be crowned People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive!!!

You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll Hurl. That's all

Shout out to Zohran Mamdani, right here, right now

Woman Crush of the Week - Teyana Taylor at the Time 100 event. For being able to pull of this ensemble...the definition of hot! 

Celebrating Prop 50 passing in California! It got my "Yes" vote

I might look like I'm paying attention, but in my head I'm listening to David Bowie

You're about to walk into one of the best and most amazing weeks of your life. Get ready for it.

Looking forward to seeing Die My Love with Jennifer Lawrence and Robert Pattinson tomorrow

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Michael's Musings

One Above And One Below
Michael Shinafelt

"And the sky was all violet

I want it again, but violent, more violent
Yeah, I'm the one with no soul
One above and one below

Might last a day, yeah
Mine is forever" - Hole, Violet

Robert Englund aka Freddy Krueger is getting his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame tomorrow. "Yes" he is getting it on Halloween!

What am I dressing up as for Halloween? The Sexy Devil, naturally. Refer to the image above.

Since it bears repeating I'll say it again: Unhappy people start drama for no reason

When your "Baby Daddy" is a bedbug, discuss...

FYI I identify as a horror movie, the more you know

Today is the best day to play pig games, oink!

Personally I've never met a dude that fantasized about having his own ballroom. He's basically Cinderella's fat, jealous, Bitch of a step-sister.

Saw Bugonia yesterday...amazing and completely unique!

Woman Crush of the Week - Speaking of Bugonia how could Emma Stone not be my "Woman Crush" this week after seeing her brilliant performance in it!

For those who tell me they don't like Halloween? Prepare to get wished into the corn field. IYKYK

Isn't it about that time of the year again where Jesus appears on someone's toast? Asking for a friend

Always remember, never forget: It is what it is, that's all

Writing this column and imbibing in lemon water, I'm so glamorous 😉

Time to put the finishing touches on my Halloween wardrobe

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Michael's Musings

Welcome To My Underworld
Michael Shinafelt

"Yeah, it's a good thing I like my friends cancelled (cancelled)

I salute you if you're much too much to handle
Like my whiskey sour (I like it)
And poison thorny flowers (I love it)
Can't you see my infamy loves company?
Now they've broken you like they've broken me
But a shattered glass is a lot more sharp
And now you know exactly who your friends are

You know who we are
We're the ones with matching scars" - Taylor Swift, Cancelled 

You've mastered surviving, now it's time to live

Thank you for making that announcement no one cared about...

When the "G" falls off the graveyard sign. Think about it, but not too much.

Forget your ego, remember your soul

Show me your best F#cking Chicken Dance, that's all

My Drag Name? Pussy Malfeasance...the more you know

8 more days until Halloween...Boo!

Colman Domingo is perfect casting as the Cowardly Lion in Wicked For Good

Woman Crush of the Week - Salma Hayek as Santanico Pandemonium, the Vampire Queen in From Dusk till Dawn 

Happy Belated 61st Birthday to Kamala Harris who would not have destroyed the White House

Karoline Leavitt is what happens when the ventriloquist dies but the dummy keeps talking

I want to acknowledge October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

George Clooney is so hot in From Dusk till Dawn! PS I bet you can tell I rewatched it recently - Ha!

I love having breakfast tacos and a margarita on the patio at HomeState in Hollywood, that's all

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Michael's Musings

I Know Your Secret, Your Dirty Little Secret
Michael Shinafelt

"There's a new game we like to play, you see

A game with added reality
You treat me like a dog, get me down on my knees

We call it Master and Servant
We call it Master and Servant

It's a lot like life, this play between the sheets
With you on top and me underneath
Forget all about equality

Let's play Master and Servant
Let's play Master and Servant" - Master and Servant, Depeche Mode

May all bad energy sent to me be turned into cash $$$

If you can't handle my sparkle, get sunglasses, that's all

Finally saw Jennifer's Body with Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried - LOVED IT!!!

BTW Once I get my UFO don't be asking me for rides, the more you know...

Munchin' Munchkins, discuss

Is anyone buying Marjorie Taylor Greene's get reelected 360? Bueller? 

Guess who is cast free post foot surgery finally? Me! Now I only have a boot, and it was made for walking!!!

IMO John Carpenter's The Fog is quite underrated, it's one of my favorite horror movies

Woman Crush of the Week - One of my favorite actors Naomi Watts got her star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame October 13th, Congrats!

Riddle me this, how can you discover a place that already has people living there?

The Creep Tapes on Shudder has been renewed for season three, it's so good, trust me!

While I am not a "Swiftie" I have really been loving Taylor Swift's latest The Life Of A Showgirl

Note To Self - I left it in the basement of the Alamo

It's Thursday and I'm thirsty (If you know, you know)

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Michael's Musings

Can't You See, You Belong To Me?
Michael Shinafelt

"Every breath you take

And every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you

Every single day
And every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you"  - Every Breath You Take, The Police

What if we kissed and all my teeth fell into your mouth? Discuss...

Been binging Riverdale on Netflix. Never saw it when it first came out, on season three currently enjoying it so far

Only fragile egos fear equality, the more you know

Do you ever think about how may vampires have been run over by people who backup just using their mirrors?

To those who want "All English" for the Superbowl Half Time Show, let's have Robert De Niro do a dramatic reading of the Epstein Files

Pour yourself a drink and pull yourself together, it's going to be a bumpy night

Went and saw Paul Thomas Anderson's One Battle After Another at Quentin Tarantino's Vista Theater in Hollywood, in Vista Vision. I love PT Anderson's films and this one is no exception!

Who else is experiencing life presently at several WTF's per hour?! 

Woman Crush of the Week - Since I have been binging Riverdale Lili Reinhart who is perfection as Betty Cooper in it

I identify as trouble, my pronouns are who/me?

So if mediums can communicate with the dead, I wonder what a large could do???

I can't wait for my recovery process post foot surgery to cross the finish line

Pretend you are erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom. You'll do a better job and it actually becomes fun, that's all

Today's activity: sit on the couch with my foot elevated and stream

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Michael's Musings

"Imitating Angels"
Michael Shinafelt

"Sail a sad ship across the sea out to the edge of this world

And I ain't coming back cause I didn't leave nothin' behind
All the old crowd still hangs out imitating angels
But I ain't found a halo here no matter how I tried
And I tried" - Imitating Angels, Nymphs 

October is my favorite month of the year!!!

Squirrels at a pagan rave, discuss...

Congratulations to Bad Bunny on headlining the Super Bowl 2026 halftime show!

Rest In Power Conservationist Jane Goodall, whose work revolutionized the study of primates

Woke up feeling c#ntish, might give away a few free samples of my attitude today, or not

Listen up generals, the Pillsbury Dough President wants you to do Pilates. Otherwise you might get so fat you'll start breaking escalators

I'll make it weird. I'll make it weird as F#ck, that's all

Rapture Cat Says: "Later Heathens"

Woman Crush of the Week - Selena Gomez, what a beautiful bride!

The Crow is my spirit animal. It can hold a grudge for 17 years

Spend your life doing strange things with weird people, the more you  know

My foot is finally no longer in pain post surgery. Now it's in a cast on for a few more weeks until it is done healing

When your other half says: "You are not in love with me" tell them: "It's Thursday" - If you know, you know

Live, Laugh, Love = Don't Be a C#nt 

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Michael's Musings

"I Pay Attention To Things That Most People Ignore"
Michael Shinafelt

"I don't get angry when I'm pissed

I'm the eternal optimist
I scream inside to deal with it
Like, "Ah" - Olivia Rodrigo, All-American Bitch 

Tuesday was the worst rapture ever, discuss...

Season 27 of Law & Order: SVU premieres tonight...

A special place in Hell? For me? That's really thoughtful

Nothing brings a bunch of c#nts together faster then something that's none of their business

FYI the owls are not what they seem, the more you know

Pro Tip: If you just take Tylenol PM your kids will only be autistic at night

Current Mood - Too tired to live, too sexy to die

When Mr. Rogers passed away no one needed to explain that he was really a nice guy who

was quoted out of context, that's all

Woman Crush of the Week - Cardi B. because she is the drama with a capital "D"

Stop dimming your light for people who aren't even paying the electric bill

Finally saw the Evil Dead 2013 remake. I'll stick with the Sam Raimi 1981 original Thank You!

When it's after midnight you don't have to look for love, laughter or trouble they'll find you, trust

Flawed & Fabulous...because perfect doesn't exist and normal is boring

Heading into week three of the post foot surgery blues

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Michael's Musings

"I Wanna Make A Supersonic Man Outta You"
Michael Shinafelt
Artwork by:
https://www.instagram.com/_hunter/?hl=en

"I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars on a collision course

I am a satellite, I'm out of control
I'm a sex machine ready to reload like an atom bomb
About to whoa-oh, whoa-oh, oh, explode" - Queen, Having A Good Time

I stand with Jimmy Kimmel

Wig slipping clown mamas, discuss...

If I knew then what I know now, I would've stayed strangers with a lot of people, that's all

Laid up recovering from foot surgery and binging Nashville on Netflix, I'd forgotten what a well done show it really is (Yes, I saw it when it initially aired)

Stop thinking we're enemies. I don't care about you

When someone upsets you tell them to F.O.C.U.S (F#ck Off Cuz Ur Stupid)

Superman drops on HBO Max today "Kind is the new punk" indeed

And so it begins, I hope it ends well...

Woman Crush of the Week - being that I'm binging Nashville it's Connie Britton. Pitch perfect as Rayna Jaymes, she truly anchors the entire show!

I finally quit drinking for good, now I only drink for evil, think about it, but not too much

People who "don't understand" same sex relationships make me laugh, because I don't understand Korean but I still know it's a real language, so there!

When you see people your ex has been bangin' and you think: Damn, I couldn't trust you around ugly people either

I've never cared for Kristin Chenoweth, I have good instincts, the more you know

Off to my official spot for the day the living room couch, that's correct Minions I am binging things all day because I can't do anything else for a while post foot surgery

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