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| Cutthroat & Shinafelt "At The Movies" |
In the tradition of "Siskel & Ebert" "Ebert & Roeper" comes "Cutthroat & Shinafelt At The Movies"...
Yes, the resident "Burlesque Biotch" and Bonaparte band member on "Entertain Me" Clea Cutthroat has agreed to discuss five upcoming summer movies with yours truly. It's time for "Cutthroat & Shinafelt At The Movies" In this case the balcony never closes and it's always showtime at the edge of the stage...
1)
Maleficent
CC: This is a win-win in my book. A fierce evil bitch, with a bad ass head piece & perfect complexion played by Angelina Jolie. Even if the script sucks, you're sure to score some fabulous makeup tips for your next goth party, fetish event, or Halloween bash. (Who am I kidding !?! I would rock that head gear strolling the supermarket with stilettos at 3 in the afternoon, LOL) All Hail Maleficent!
MS: Maleficent is the best Disney bitch ever! She kicks the Evil Queens ass from Snow White, after all she can turn into a dragon and the Evil Queen can only turn into some old hag who hands out poison apples.
2) 22 Jump Street
CC: You lost me at 22. I may live in Berlin now, and have no idea what this is...but I don't even wanna google it. Is "22" the clever idea of a sequel to that hot-mess remake of 21 Jump Street? I'd rather spend the night exfoliating.
MS: Me? I'd rather have my ball hairs burnt off than be subjected to this.
3) Transformers: Age Of Extinction
CC: Must I really? The title says it all: "Age of Extinction". Transformers, please go away.
MS: I heard Michael Bay added nostrils to the Transformers this time so they can snort cocaine.
4) Jupiter Ascending
CC: I think that we should take the money that we saved from not seeing 22 blah blah, Transformers, and this movie and go to Disneyland!!! We can kidnap hot sexy Mila, all take pics with Maleficent together & get high before going into the Haunted House. Score!
Ok...Disney is still a bit more expensive than the entrance for 3 movies put together...but, we could at least go to the bar. First round of margaritas on me! (Mila's got the second round for sure ;)
MS: Yeah! Margaritas and Mila, good times!
CC: Whereas "22 Jump Street" lost me at it's title, this movie has already made a giant fan out of me. Two of my favorite things: "sex" and "tape".
Hmmmm, I would say more, but now I can only think about sex.
Well, regardless if I go on a date by myself, or with someone else, this film should surely lend itself to a "happy ending".
Two thumbs....waaaay up. Pun completely intended ;)
MS: My boyfriend and I made one of those, and we watch it when we...Hey, why watch strangers when you can let your inner narcissist out and get off on yourselves?
