Can We Talk? Ian Harvie Part II

Ian Harvie
Photo: Austin Young

"I don't understand it, but I accept it is societies go to phrase. It stops us from really putting ourselves in someone else's place. It keeps us from really going there. But we could go there, and if we allowed ourselves to do that we would really understand it." - Ian Harvie

The above quote is a little paraphrased but it stuck with me after I turned off the recorder and Ian and Myself were chatting off record. This is one of the most eye opening, honest things I have heard in a long time.

For those of you not in the loop Ian is a transgender comedian/actor and friend. Post Bruce Jenner's recent interview let's keep the dialogue flowing...

Note: This is part II of my interview with Ian, here is the link to part I:

http://mshinafelt.blogspot.com/2015/05/can-we-talk-ian-harvie-part-i.html

MS: I get feeling comfortable in your own skin. Now that I am almost fifty twenty somethings are hitting on me all the time. When I was in my twenties I could never get guys my own age interested. 

IH: Their attraction is now, that you posses something inside that they wished they had. Let's take our exteriors out of this. I think people today, as we get to this place, we still deem exteriors important on some level, but...I'm in recovery, and I remember when I first got sober, the person that you ask to sponsor you, they have something that you want. There is something about them that reflects how you want to live your life. Someone might be pretty on the outside, but when you are really attracted to someone it's that they posses something that you wish you had, that you know you have, and you want to crack it open in some way. Sometimes for me it's on the surface, but usually it's what someone says, and I'm like: "Oh shit that was good!"

MS: I was headed there with this.

IH: Well, I just cut you off, sorry (laughs)

MS: Hey, this is an open forum. (laughs) You are really fearless with your comedy shows. 

IH: I won't be exhausted with it until everybody fucking gets it. People ask me "are you tired?" I'm like: "No, no I want everybody to hear this." I will say it to whoever and as many times as I need to. Maybe I will say it differently with new material, but it's a really important part of what I want to do in this art medium. 

MS: Awesome!

IH: Let's jump back to The Nightly Show for a second. 

MS: Go for it.

IH: What I thought was really awesome about it was, that this is the Comedy Central demographic watching this show. Hearing these words and these perspectives, maybe for the first time. Maybe, maybe not, there was a live audience there and there were eruptions of applause. When I said there should be etiquette on behalf of Cisgender people to Transgender people everyone applauded. But that's a live New York audience, the average viewer of that show, who gets their information from what used to be The Colbert Report and what is now this show, most likely hasn't heard this before. What a great gain to have that dialogue on Comedy Central and their demographic. 

MS: Absolutely.

IH: I was like Fuck Yeah! Fuck Yeah! Fuck Yeah, good!

MS: You did discuss Bruce Jenner on the show, I loved your Kardashian joke about all of them having plastic surgery by the way,

IH: Seriously with all the work that entire family has had done this should not be a shock. (laughs)  Yes, it's someone who was male at birth, an iconic athlete who has been in  the homes of all of America for years. Yes, so this is a new story, someone officially coming out like this is going to save lives. It's funny I use to tell a similar joke about Chaz Bono and Cher with all the work she has had done. (laughs) I like thinking of things that flip the narrative and to say the opposite of what everybody is thinking. This is not just a Trans peoples issue to figure out it is also other people's work to do as well. So I like thinking about things in reverse terms, thinking about them in other ways. 

MS: Well in West Hollywood, CA they now have all access bathrooms and I love that because I know when I want to pee, I don't care where I go, I just want to go!

IH: How many times is there a line in one bathroom or the other? I mean, we all use the same bathroom when we are at home. But when we cross the threshold into the public: WE CAN NOT USE THE SAME BATHROOM! (laughs)

MS: One last thing. What the fuck are incinerating boobs?

IH: I just did a podcast where I discussed my chest surgery and was asked what happened to my boobs afterward. I said I didn't know they were probably in a incinerator somewhere in San Francisco. (laughs) 

Keep it real with Ian at:
http://ianharvie.com/
https://twitter.com/ianharvie

Can We Talk? Ian Harvie Part I

Ian Harvie
Photo: Miki Vargas

"I don't understand it, but I accept it is societies go to phrase. It stops us from really putting ourselves in someone else's place. It keeps us from really going there. But we could go there, and if we allowed ourselves to do that we would really understand it." - Ian Harvie

The above quote is a little paraphrased but it stuck with me after I turned off the recorder and Ian and Myself were chatting off record. This is one of the most eye opening, honest things I have heard in a long time.

For those of you not in the loop Ian is a transgender comedian/actor and friend. Post Bruce Jenner's recent interview let's keep the dialogue flowing...

Note: Because this is a long interview and was so interesting. I am doing something I have never done before and presenting it in two parts.

MS: I caught you on Comedy Central's The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore, you were really great!

IH: Well I did have the benefit of knowing the subject matter going into the show. It isn't like I was going to talk about astrophysics (laughs) I was there to talk about gender and Jenner. Some topics I am super familiar with. As you know I have been thinking about these things for decades. (laughs)

MS: Not sure if you remember this, but...I saw you when your scruff was first coming in and I reached up a grabbed your face and felt it, and said: "Your getting your scruff how cool!" Then I thought how rude I was for not asking you to. You just smiled at me.

IH: Had it been a complete stranger, I don't know if I would have said something to you, but my body language might have been something other than "alright, whatever" you know. (laughs) I also think it has to do with context. Context is everything. Even when we spoke on the show about the use of the word "Fag" or "Tranny" whatever language is like the "N word" of any given community it's all about the who and how it's being used. So you coming up to me an touching my face, it's really context, and I believe that I am intuitive enough to understand when someones context even without words. Just by their actions, it's really rare that someone is coming up to you with ill intent. I know that people are worried about it, that they look for it even when it is not there. I've watched so many people misinterpret things that were clearly not what they were thinking it was. They are hyper vigilant about the topic of people being derogatory about Trans-People and not getting storylines right because they have gotten them wrong for so long, that our community is incredibly sensitive, as they should be, but even about things that were not with male intent. Even with Larry Wilmore on the show, he would tell me to write certain things down and I'd slide it to him and he'd say it anyway, part of it was to be shockingly comedic. Part of it was to name the word for people even though I didn't want to say it, it was to start a dialogue around it, Larry wasn't calling someone that name. he was saying the word. Then people got in a major uproar about it. Context for me is everything.

MS: I agree. I am sometimes off the cuff so I was curious about what you thought about that. Obviously what I did was without any bad intent, however it was so spontaneous...

IH: Also having seen someone before who did not have facial hair, and the next time you see them it's like "holy shit you have facial hair" there is probably a physical draw in an innocent way that makes you want to reach out and touch it. It's like "Wow!" and your hand just goes out in front of you. (laughs) I kind of don't blame people it's a really miraculous fucking process.

MS: I know this is something that I may be saying out of turn, but you are a cute guy.

IH: Here's the thing someone said this on Facebook the other day and I have to agree with it, it's time that Cisgender people, and I don't mean this as an insult to you or to anybody, get over the fact that Transpeople are hot. It's like we are somehow exempt owning beauty and I am not the hottest dude on the planet. There's a thought culture because we are Transpeople we are not thought of as hot. When Transpeople are hot it is somehow an even more heightened kind of amazement on Cisgender peoples part. My God they're Trans and their hot! (both laugh)

MS: I've only ever known you as a guy, if someone hadn't told me that you were Trans I don't think I would have known.

IH: It's the whiskers. (laughs)

MS: When I say something it's in general terms it's never about pointing something out.

IH: My sentiment probably applies more to Trans-Women. Because they have been the subject of such misogyny. They hear that they are not woman enough, they are not pretty enough for the male gays. What I am saying is probably more applicable to the Trans-Women community. People when they see someone in that community, when they comment they are hot, it's shocking probably more so than for Trans-Guys. Please don't take this as an insult, but I guess I take that as a compliment that someone finds me attractive. Because I have struggled with my outward appearance for so long, that I never actually felt hot myself. It never ever sunk in. I've spent over forty years not feeling beautiful and for the first time I do feel beautiful.

Keep it real with Ian at:
http://ianharvie.com/
https://twitter.com/ianharvie