Drinking Game Alert

Winning!
The Kardashians 

Have you heard? Last nigh Keeping Up With The Kardashians won favorite "Reality Show" at the 45th E! People's Choice Awards. "Yes" the people have spoken and this is what the hive mind voted for. 

Don't get all snobby on me now and pretend you have NEVER seen an episode of KUWTK. Even if you are not a regular viewer or fan, everyone has watched at least a few episodes sporadically throughout the years. 

In fact I watched an episode of it last week, which brings me to today's topic of the timeless Drinking Game. You know where you take a shot every time a certain word is uttered, yeah that one, that's the ticket.

While watching the show it struck me like lightning that Kim, Khloe & Kourtney utter the word "Yeah" a lot, and when I state a lot I mean almost like every sentence. Thus the seed was planted that this would make a most excellent Drinking Game. That's correct minions, every time one of the Kardashian Sisters (or any other person) spouts "Yeah" take a shot. I guarantee you will be black out drunk by the end of the hour.

Pinky Swear!

KUWTK on IG - 
https://www.instagram.com/kuwtk/?hl=en  

Michael's Musings

My Doppelganger
Michael Shinafelt

My doppelganger brings all the boys to the yard...

What's new pussycat, whoa, whoa, whoa! Seriously what's new? I am curious yellow please do tell, or not. Whatever...I made it to the gym for the first time in two months on Tuesday. Me and my boot, hey it was made for walking, at least that bloody cast is off and I can now wash my right foot. "Yes" I said goodbye to right foot odor this week, Yay!

Now about that other issue, that one time at band camp when my doppelganger took over...

I draw inspiration from the meta, don't judge me 

The 21st record breaking season of one of my favorite TV shows, Law & Order: SVU premieres tonight, woot!

Keep others afraid of you by calling Fall "the harvest"

Remember it's head spinning season, spin it like a record baby!

The Emmy's happened this past weekend. The Kardashians presenting on them got laughed at like Carrie. I Tweeted about it and Entertainment Tonight used my Tweet in their post Emmy write-up. Here is the link: https://www.etonline.com/did-kim-kardashian-and-kendall-jenner-get-laughed-at-while-presenting-at-2019-emmys-132923

You say Label, I say Whore = Label Whore

The Impeachment process against Trump has been implemented. Let the cartoons begin!

On that note enjoying someone's public downfall does not pay your bills, stay focused

Woman Crush of the Week - Erika Jayne she'll be giving plenty of moxie as Roxie

If I told you once, I told you twice, I'm obviously not going to say it three times fast, duh

Mary Wilson of the Supremes was the first to go on Dancing With The Stars, in case you care

The best advice I can give you? Never give unsolicited advice

Are you a FOMO-sapien?

If you can't fly in the big leagues, stay off the broom

Soon I will be spread eagle somewhere, join me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt

Michael's Musings

Throwback:
Revenge Of The Nerd
Michael Shinafelt

It's Thursday and time for another dose of whatever I feel like saying. This weeks column may be a tad foggy with a a 100% chance a sinus issues.

That's correct my sinuses have had havoc brought unto them by the Santa Ana Winds blowing all sorts of lovely things around the City of Angels. Let me tell you it's no fun and makes me count to ten way more than usual throughout the day because I am so damned irritable!

OK, now that I got that out of my nasal passage let's do it!

Feud on FX ended this past week, I must say the final episode was masterful

Quote of the Week: "The Kardashians look like turds with frosting"

There is a band with the name Palm Springsteen, brilliant!

Juan Pee Pee. All you hardcore Law & Order: SVU fans know what I mean.

I like big butts and I cannot lie

Starbuck's slogan for the Unicorn Frappauccino should be: Shit the rainbow

Mike Clifford's video for his cover of Louis Armstrong's "What A Wonderful World" dropped this week, if you need to smile check it out after the jump. PS I'm in it.

T.G.I.F! Thank God I'm Fabulous!

My Twitter bio reads - Proud Muslim Lesbian. Wanted to see if you are paying attention.

No more printed paper towels or napkins!

A friend informed me this week you can have pot delivered to your door. The more you know.

I know you are going to judge but the last ten episodes of Pretty Little Liars is now down to eight left. Yes, I am starting to feel empty.

Misery loves company, thus join me at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt    

Hump Day Inspiration: Amy Schumer

Don't Funk With Me!
Amy Schumer

Yeah this week has been a tough one, for me at least. Maybe not all of you, but I bet three quarters of you feel the way I do.

It's times like these great heaven knows, that I wished we had? Some wisdom perhaps? Levity? How about both?!

Here are ten great quotes from one Ms. Amy Schumer to get you over the mid-week blahs!

1)  “I’m probably like 160 pounds right now and can catch a dick whenever I want.” 

2) “I get labeled a sex comic. But if a guy got up onstage and pulled his dick out, everybody would say: ‘He's a thinker.’”

3) "That’s the Hollywood secret: Don’t put food in your dumb mouth!"

4) “Make sure he knows that you’re entitled to an orgasm. I like to say it. I’ll be like, ‘Hey, there are two people here.’ I’ll be like, ‘Oh my God, have you met my clit?’”

5) “We have to be a role model for these little girls, because who do they have? All they have really is the Kardashians ... And like, we used to have Khloé. Khloé was ours, right? Whenever there’s a group of women, you identify with one of them … Khloé, she lost half her body weight. She lost a Kendall! We have nothing. I want good role models.”

6) “The other day I was having some wine and some weed and an Ambien. Or, as I like to call it, ‘Tucking myself in.'”

7) “Beautiful, gross, strong, thin, fat, pretty, ugly, sexy, disgusting, flawless, woman. Thank you Annie Leibovitz!”

8) "I'm, like, newly famous, and it turns out it's not fun. Did you guys know that?"

9) “Just as good as the male comics: We put on our pants one leg at a time, just like them. And then we bleed in those pants."

10) “Please, please, take some photos. Isn’t that salad great? I’m wearing the shortest dress, you’re probably getting a photo of my clitoris right now.”

Amy is here for you on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/amyschumer/?hl=en

Can We Talk? Ian Harvie Part II

Ian Harvie
Photo: Austin Young

"I don't understand it, but I accept it is societies go to phrase. It stops us from really putting ourselves in someone else's place. It keeps us from really going there. But we could go there, and if we allowed ourselves to do that we would really understand it." - Ian Harvie

The above quote is a little paraphrased but it stuck with me after I turned off the recorder and Ian and Myself were chatting off record. This is one of the most eye opening, honest things I have heard in a long time.

For those of you not in the loop Ian is a transgender comedian/actor and friend. Post Bruce Jenner's recent interview let's keep the dialogue flowing...

Note: This is part II of my interview with Ian, here is the link to part I:

http://mshinafelt.blogspot.com/2015/05/can-we-talk-ian-harvie-part-i.html

MS: I get feeling comfortable in your own skin. Now that I am almost fifty twenty somethings are hitting on me all the time. When I was in my twenties I could never get guys my own age interested. 

IH: Their attraction is now, that you posses something inside that they wished they had. Let's take our exteriors out of this. I think people today, as we get to this place, we still deem exteriors important on some level, but...I'm in recovery, and I remember when I first got sober, the person that you ask to sponsor you, they have something that you want. There is something about them that reflects how you want to live your life. Someone might be pretty on the outside, but when you are really attracted to someone it's that they posses something that you wish you had, that you know you have, and you want to crack it open in some way. Sometimes for me it's on the surface, but usually it's what someone says, and I'm like: "Oh shit that was good!"

MS: I was headed there with this.

IH: Well, I just cut you off, sorry (laughs)

MS: Hey, this is an open forum. (laughs) You are really fearless with your comedy shows. 

IH: I won't be exhausted with it until everybody fucking gets it. People ask me "are you tired?" I'm like: "No, no I want everybody to hear this." I will say it to whoever and as many times as I need to. Maybe I will say it differently with new material, but it's a really important part of what I want to do in this art medium. 

MS: Awesome!

IH: Let's jump back to The Nightly Show for a second. 

MS: Go for it.

IH: What I thought was really awesome about it was, that this is the Comedy Central demographic watching this show. Hearing these words and these perspectives, maybe for the first time. Maybe, maybe not, there was a live audience there and there were eruptions of applause. When I said there should be etiquette on behalf of Cisgender people to Transgender people everyone applauded. But that's a live New York audience, the average viewer of that show, who gets their information from what used to be The Colbert Report and what is now this show, most likely hasn't heard this before. What a great gain to have that dialogue on Comedy Central and their demographic. 

MS: Absolutely.

IH: I was like Fuck Yeah! Fuck Yeah! Fuck Yeah, good!

MS: You did discuss Bruce Jenner on the show, I loved your Kardashian joke about all of them having plastic surgery by the way,

IH: Seriously with all the work that entire family has had done this should not be a shock. (laughs)  Yes, it's someone who was male at birth, an iconic athlete who has been in  the homes of all of America for years. Yes, so this is a new story, someone officially coming out like this is going to save lives. It's funny I use to tell a similar joke about Chaz Bono and Cher with all the work she has had done. (laughs) I like thinking of things that flip the narrative and to say the opposite of what everybody is thinking. This is not just a Trans peoples issue to figure out it is also other people's work to do as well. So I like thinking about things in reverse terms, thinking about them in other ways. 

MS: Well in West Hollywood, CA they now have all access bathrooms and I love that because I know when I want to pee, I don't care where I go, I just want to go!

IH: How many times is there a line in one bathroom or the other? I mean, we all use the same bathroom when we are at home. But when we cross the threshold into the public: WE CAN NOT USE THE SAME BATHROOM! (laughs)

MS: One last thing. What the fuck are incinerating boobs?

IH: I just did a podcast where I discussed my chest surgery and was asked what happened to my boobs afterward. I said I didn't know they were probably in a incinerator somewhere in San Francisco. (laughs) 

Keep it real with Ian at:
http://ianharvie.com/
https://twitter.com/ianharvie