Michael's Musings

Michael Shinafelt

My Code Name is: Agent Provocateur - that's why I am proudly sporting my "fag." T-Shirt. With hate speech so prominent this past week due to the Tweeting of one Roseanne, destroying her career and show revival with a few keystrokes. Well you know I couldn't #resist.

FYI - for those of you who can't wrap your collective brains around it I am far from PC, thus my choice of apparel this week. That being stated I do not condone hate speech. "Yes" Virginia they are two different entities. Time to move on, whatever transpires past this, Ambien is to blame...

If you can't blame Ambien, blame Canada

Saggitarians on Adderal, discuss

When in doubt, shout it out!

Dear Roseanne, your racism is more on point than your rendition of The Star Spangled Banner

Tonight's the night, really, it is

Have I offended you yet? Yeah, I can't compete with Donald Trump.

Who put the "bone" in Bonaparte?

There was an old lady who  swallowed a fly...

We have now entered The Twilight Zone (refer to the above headline)

Once upon a time there was something called common sense and intelligence, then the WWW let people without brain cells have a voice

The Real Housewives of New York, is, and will always be my favorite of the "Housewives" franchise

Whistle if your horny, or do something more provocative, the choice is yours

Clarifying a previous musing, I am a Saggitarian, and I am not on Adderal, it was about a friend

Your Mama don't dance, and your Daddy don't Rock-N-Roll - that's not true, I am referred to as "Daddy" sometimes and I DO Rock-N-Roll

Obey Michael at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/mshinafelt?lang=en    

Hump Day Inspiration: Amy Schumer

Don't Funk With Me!
Amy Schumer

Yeah this week has been a tough one, for me at least. Maybe not all of you, but I bet three quarters of you feel the way I do.

It's times like these great heaven knows, that I wished we had? Some wisdom perhaps? Levity? How about both?!

Here are ten great quotes from one Ms. Amy Schumer to get you over the mid-week blahs!

1)  “I’m probably like 160 pounds right now and can catch a dick whenever I want.” 

2) “I get labeled a sex comic. But if a guy got up onstage and pulled his dick out, everybody would say: ‘He's a thinker.’”

3) "That’s the Hollywood secret: Don’t put food in your dumb mouth!"

4) “Make sure he knows that you’re entitled to an orgasm. I like to say it. I’ll be like, ‘Hey, there are two people here.’ I’ll be like, ‘Oh my God, have you met my clit?’”

5) “We have to be a role model for these little girls, because who do they have? All they have really is the Kardashians ... And like, we used to have Khloé. Khloé was ours, right? Whenever there’s a group of women, you identify with one of them … Khloé, she lost half her body weight. She lost a Kendall! We have nothing. I want good role models.”

6) “The other day I was having some wine and some weed and an Ambien. Or, as I like to call it, ‘Tucking myself in.'”

7) “Beautiful, gross, strong, thin, fat, pretty, ugly, sexy, disgusting, flawless, woman. Thank you Annie Leibovitz!”

8) "I'm, like, newly famous, and it turns out it's not fun. Did you guys know that?"

9) “Just as good as the male comics: We put on our pants one leg at a time, just like them. And then we bleed in those pants."

10) “Please, please, take some photos. Isn’t that salad great? I’m wearing the shortest dress, you’re probably getting a photo of my clitoris right now.”

Amy is here for you on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/amyschumer/?hl=en