Michael's Musings

What's On My Mind?
Michael Shinafelt

I am on "Real Housewife" overload this morning. "Yes" minions I have a standing date with my friend Naama every Wednesday eve she comes over to my pad and we watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills that I DVR'd from the night before, then we watch The Real Housewives of New York in real time.

Always one of the highlights of my week as we have a total blast commenting, reacting not to mention interacting with the shows. For the record we both prefer NY over BH, yet enjoy them both, in case you cared.

"I used to love Bethenny (of RHONY) before I went to therapy" - Naama Kates

Project Runway with Karlie Kloss and Christian Siriano - No thanks, I'll pass. Anyone know why Heidi Klum & Tim Gunn are out?

Today's Secret Word is:  Clambake 

Hey Girl, Hey!

Get your waffle, we gotta go...

Who the F#ck quotes Tyler Perry?!?!

Tell me about your bizarro 8-track tape obsession

Need help attending college? Contact thew firm of Huffman & Loughlin

Teddi confesses her wrong doing in Erika's home chapel on RHOBH - nothing staged about that, Ha!

You are a saint, yes you are

Just Because...Oink!

Whore, that is all 

My bottom hurts just thinking about it

Don't make stick your new face in the caviar, follow me at:
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Michael's Musings

Michael Shinafelt

My Code Name is: Agent Provocateur - that's why I am proudly sporting my "fag." T-Shirt. With hate speech so prominent this past week due to the Tweeting of one Roseanne, destroying her career and show revival with a few keystrokes. Well you know I couldn't #resist.

FYI - for those of you who can't wrap your collective brains around it I am far from PC, thus my choice of apparel this week. That being stated I do not condone hate speech. "Yes" Virginia they are two different entities. Time to move on, whatever transpires past this, Ambien is to blame...

If you can't blame Ambien, blame Canada

Saggitarians on Adderal, discuss

When in doubt, shout it out!

Dear Roseanne, your racism is more on point than your rendition of The Star Spangled Banner

Tonight's the night, really, it is

Have I offended you yet? Yeah, I can't compete with Donald Trump.

Who put the "bone" in Bonaparte?

There was an old lady who  swallowed a fly...

We have now entered The Twilight Zone (refer to the above headline)

Once upon a time there was something called common sense and intelligence, then the WWW let people without brain cells have a voice

The Real Housewives of New York, is, and will always be my favorite of the "Housewives" franchise

Whistle if your horny, or do something more provocative, the choice is yours

Clarifying a previous musing, I am a Saggitarian, and I am not on Adderal, it was about a friend

Your Mama don't dance, and your Daddy don't Rock-N-Roll - that's not true, I am referred to as "Daddy" sometimes and I DO Rock-N-Roll

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Michael's Musings

Seriously?!
Michael Shinafelt

This weeks word is seriously. What's that you say? I know, I know I have never had a word of the week before. Well this week I do, get over it.

Seriously can take on many forms. It can mean seriously WTF?! Or seriously you really did that? Or seriously you just said that?

I will be addressing all forms of the word in printed matter this week. Shall we play games???

Donald Trump wants to enlist the military to build the wall between the US & Mexico. Ummmmmm...does he realize most of the military is made up of Latin immigrants? 

The Bible, read in the condescending voice of a 14 year old atheist

I have learned how to prepare nutritious foods for hermaphrodite aliens

The Real Housewives of New York premiered last night. The bitches are back!

Went to the drop dead beautiful Lynda Carter's star ceremony on Hollywood's Walk of Fame. Yes, I really did.

Hate your job? Try astral projection 

Honestly I am truly disturbed by the fact that we live in a society where adults mock teenage survivors of a mass shooting

The Horror!
Joan Collins

Joan Collins is going to be on Season 8 of American Horror Story. Way to gay Ryan Murphy!

Beware of the Sourpatch Kid that thinks

When you accidentally dial a wrong number always say: "Is this the cocksucker residence?"

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel".- Maya Angelou 

Always remember, Lala Kent still uses a baby bottle, she's 27

Don't do anything I wouldn't do...Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!

Now it's time to say goodbye and follow me at:
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Michael's Musings

King Cold Miser
Michael Shinafelt

"Cold is the color of crystal the snow light, That falls from the heavenly skies" Cold - Annie Lennox

Yes it's summer, but why am I feeling so cold? Well this past Tuesday we Americans celebrated July 4th. It was the 241st Birthday of our country, a celebration of a break from tyranny. Yet in 2017 certain people with brain disorders voted it back in. 

Thus I told people on my social media outlets to celebrate their independence, that is what will keep us all strong, shall we continue? Fer sure!

File this under things that never get old: "See Darlin' You Are A Whore" - Cristal Connors, Showgirls

It's official, I am the booty whisperer 

Admit it, kale sucks

Annie Lennox was recently mistaken for a promising new singer. Ugh, millennials.

Stop calling Kelly Clarkson fat

Always remember, your neighbors are cray

How Many Fuxs Do I Give?
Adam Lambert

Dear Adam Lambert, I'd give you more than "Two Fuxs"

"I'll tell ya how I'm doing...Not well, bitches" Dorinda Medley - The Real Housewives of New York

Meanwhile in my pants...

I Am Legend 

One Upon A Time...you know the rest, or do you???

It's the first Thursday of the rest of our lives. Think about it, but not too much.

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Michael's Musings

Contemplating My Navel
Michael Shinafelt

It's that time of the week again where I am mostly peace, love and light, and a little go f#ck yourself. 

Trying to keep the negative to a minimum because there just isn't enough of that going down every single day.

Shall we commence? Yes, we shall...

Best headline of the week: Wonder Woman Tops Tom Cruise - cheeky!

During the week, it's the Tranny Bike

What are you? A sex machine with a cash register between your legs?

This week on Pretty Little Liars Aria got busted for being shady AF, Hanna & Caleb got married, Spencer & Toby had sex, only two episodes left, and the world keeps turning.

All Demi Moore wants for Christmas is her two front teeth

Ooooooooo, I too am dying to know if Beyonce is in labor, not!

Why is it everyone is so obsessed with seeing celebrity babies? They're going to look like a baby, we've all seen one before, get a grip.

Lipstick & Muffin Girl, think about it...

The first thing I do when I get home is take off my pants

On this season of the Real Housewives of New York, Sonja Morgan is a total jealous loser

A health conscious hooker, how 90's

Is there anything Katy Perry won't do to sell her latest album?

On that note so to speak it's time for me to start getting ready to hit the spin bike, ciao!

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