Nothing Shocking

‘RHOBH’ Star Dorit Kemsley and Husband PK Kemsley Are Taking Time Apart After 9 Years of Marriage

If you are a RHOBH fan this is not a suprise. I mean c'mon you didn't see this coming all last season?

Well I guess this headline will bring the ever out of touch with reality Dorit back for season fourteen.

Call it: Saved by the separation...

RHOBH on the WWW -

https://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills  

Hump Day & Chill

The Women of Beverly Hills

OK, I'll admit it! I watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Hey, we all have guilty pleasures and tonight is Part II of the reunion. For those out of the loop this is when all the women have watched the current season that just aired and get together to discuss, relive and go for the jugular with one another.

Thus, in case you haven't guessed I (and anyone who cares to join me) am going to Hump Day & Chill to the women and them being reunited and see who calls out who for what transpired during their 13th season.

FYI Beverly Hills is the only Housewives show I actually watch, I didn't want to leave the impression I was a Houwewives connoisseur after all.

Yep, it's a self indulgent Hump Day & Chill and you know what?!

I've earned it!

RHOBH on the WWW -

https://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills

 

#RHOBH

The first part of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion has aired and my favorite well of online sarcasm Wrex Weed nailed this image from it brilliantly with his witty caption above.

"Yes" I follow Wrex on Twitter (I'm never not going to call it that) and other gems regarding BRAVO shows, and you should too!

Happy March 1st and TGIF Minions!!!

Wrex on Twitter -

https://twitter.com/wrexweed 

The Name Game

Sutton Stracke

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills fans know this is Sutton Stracke's go to quote when unlike Baby she is put in a corner.

Thus when I saw this meme of Sutton with her infamous "Name 'Em" defense mechanism quote behind her in pink neon,well I knew it was bound to be featured on Entertain Me.

Now here's the real trick to bending Sutton's trademark quote like Ms. Stracke herself. You must repeat it over and over as many times as you can possibly insert it into the conversation you are having where you are deflecting from yourself.

I believe Sutton's personal record (on the show, perhps not IRL) is five or six times in one continuous loop.

"Yes" it's as obnoxious as it sounds and, well we wouldn't have our Lady of Stracke any other way! 

Now pull yourself up by your panties or briefs and sally fourth playing the name game today! 

Be your own Sutton Minions!!! 

Sutton on IG -

https://www.instagram.com/suttonstracke/?hl=en  

Hump Day & Chill

Tonight I'm doing my usual Hump Day & Chill go to and watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I know we are a mere two episodes in, but Daddy wants some meat, here's hoping tonight's third episode gets the party started.

Seriously watching Kyle and Mauricio act like a couple who haven't separated and are on their way to Splitsville is like watching paint dry. This being said Kyle so far this season has been really divisive among my friends. Some think she's the worst they've ever seen her, I like this new version of Kyle personally she isn't taking anyone's guff, you go girl!!!

Of course how can we forget the collective yawn heard round the world known as Dorit and PK?! Honestly it doesn't get any more white bread than that.

And what of Erika Jayne? Her therapist had to teach her how to have empathy at 52 years old!!!

So here we go, another Hump Day & Chill ride on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills rollercoaster tonight on BRAVO...woot! 

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on the WWW -

https://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills 

Ding Dong

Well as most of you RHOBH (The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) fans have heard Lisa Rinna is out for season thirteen. 

"Yes" I know LVP (Lisa Vanderpump) posted my "ding dong" byline on Social Media, and it's accurate, not to mention funny!

Once upon a time Rinna was a agent of chaos in a loveable, F#ck Up type of way. Somewhere along the trail of breadcrumbs she left she evolved into someone quite malevolent and increasingly problematic. 

Let's face it Minions she was downright uncomfortable and despicable to watch for a few years now. Especially this past season.

While I am sure some are sorry to see her go, I for one am not.

Hey Rinna, don't forget your broomstick on the way out...!!!

RHOBH on the WWW -

https://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills

Hump Day & Chill

Join Us?
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

After a trying 2020 things are slowly progressing back to something resembling our new normal. One of those things is the premiere of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills tonight on Bravo.

How nice it will be to Hump Day & Chill with the ladies of the BH, it will feel like, well business as usual and that brings me a certain comfort. Beverly Hills is my favorite in the real housewives franchise, which truly isn't saying too much since the only other one I watch is the New York women. 

While I am bummed that Denise Richards has exited I am happy to see the familiar group reunite. Plus there's a new housewife in the zip code, Crystal Kung Minkoff, she is the first Asian RHOBH cast member and from the looks of the season 11 preview she brings it!

Personally I am quivering with anticipation to bear witness to the drama that is sure to be Erika Jayne this season. With her shall we say, "current situation?" we shall!

You now know how I am going to Hump Day & Chill, join me? Or not...

RHOBH on the WWW -

https://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills

Hump Day & Chill

When In Rome...
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

After a month of having endured repeat episodes with cast commentary, we have made it to Hump Day & Chill again with (finally) a brand new episode of  The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airing tonight, Yay! 

The reason for the month long gap? Well the 411 is because of the current pandemic they were behind on filming the confessionals. Which makes sense, because they would not be able to shoot them until after the show is completely edited and in the can as the women of BH don't really know what footage has been used until the final cut.

So, the women are jet setting off to Rome soon, as the photo above shows. Lets cross our fingers that when in Rome they do as the Romans do. Which means be more of a lover than a fighter. I know wishful thinking, right?!

Personally I am just glad that my Hump Day & Chill guilty pleasure is back, times are tough enough without having to endure repeat episodes with cast commentary.

Go RHOBH at the link below -
https://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills  

Michael's Musings

Say Hello To My Quarantine Friend..
Michael Shinafelt

We have arrived at yet another episode of As The Quarantine Turns...this week there was much ado about Hollywood on Netflix. Did I binge it? "Yes." What did I think about it? That's for me to know and you to find out, on with the show Minions!!!

Demons have an awful sense of humor, can you blame them? They live in Hell...

Sorry to hear that Ashley Benson and Cara Delevingne have split, not even a sex bench could keep them together 💔

I don't  wear fur but I do eat _______ that's correct Minions it's time to fill in the blank

The latest trend? After everything you say add: "I was just being sarcastic"

Given the reaction everyone's having to Adele's weight loss I assume this means the pandemic is over?!

Oh, so what did I think of Hollywood on Netflix? Did I like it or not? Computer says: NO

Who else wants to show Sutton Stracke on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the proverbial door and hopes it hits her on the way out?

Dylan McDemott just ran naked through my mind (if only he'd done that in Hollywood, but we'll always have the first season of American Horror Story)

Woman Crush of the Week - Mira Sorvino for being one of the good things in that train wreck known as Hollywood on Netflix

Tell me who, who, who took the cookies from the cookie jar? Was it you?

Murder Hornets, because 2020 hasn't been fun enough

I miss eavesdropping 

Bambi goes to the club alone...

The End

Yep, this weeks episode of As The Quarantine Turns is over, for more intrigue follow me at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en

https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Michael's Musings

As The Quarantine Turns
Michael Shinafelt

This weeks episode of As The Quarantine Turns clearly has me doing something many of you have more than likely done too. That's correct minions, it's called going through all of your old photos as you can see by this weeks image of myself, I have clearly been doing just that.

Once upon a time I used to bleach what was left of my hair blonde. I did have more fun, and it looked groovy, onward with this weeks tomfoolery buttercups.

It's Purple Monkey Time, woot!

Florida beaches are now open. I'll  just leave that here.

I can deal with your problem, or rock out. But I can't do both

The season finale of  Law and Order: SVU is on tonight, while I can't wait I am riding on a bummer there will be no other new ones until who knows when 😞

Four months in and 2020 feels like 2024

Some sweet news - See's Candy is slowly resuming operations

Now for some frivolous news - It's official I can't stand new addition to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Sutton Stracke, ugh, simply ugh!

Pets are smarter than people, because pets don't hate people over politics

Woman Crush of the Week - Fiona Apple, she made "Fetch" happen with her latest album Fetch The Bolt Cutters

Jack Nicholson recently turned 80, I love me some Jack, what a great actor

All I want is a Disco Stick 

Yesterday was the day when people who were flying private roughly a month ago made social media posts about Earth Day

Also happened yesterday, the title of the Hunter S. Thompson novel Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas took on a whole new meaning. Think about it, but not too much...

Pizza is my latest food group during quarantine

Join me for a Pepperoni/Jalapeno won't you? at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt.

Michael's Musings

The Quarantine Shuffle
Michael Shinafelt

In this weeks episode of As The Quarantine Turns I got stimulated yesterday. "Yes" that's correct minions, my stimulus check got deposited directly into my bank account. Thanks Nancy Pelosi!

What's that? Yeah, it's time to move sideways, as the world is these days...

WTF? This week on Vanderpump Rules why don't we do an infomercial for LVP's cocktail garden at Caesars Palace? That's exactly what they did, blech!

Overheard: I am not arm candy, I don't shave my pu$$y 

Behind every sh!tty meme is a person that tried to make you smile

You think Quarantine is bad check out the Puddle Of Mudd cover of the Nirvana classic About A Girl. My ears are still bleeding!

Need a mask? A B Cup works better than a D Cup. That is all.

#TBT #ThrowbackThursday Remembering the days when you could find toilet paper at the crocery store - sigh

The longer Quarantine goes, don't you think Jack Nicholson held it together pretty well in The Shining?

Don't let the cat out, no matter what it tells you

Woman Crush of the Week - Dua Lipa because Future Nostalgia is music to my ears

If last night's premiere episode of this season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is any indicator of how the rest of it is going to go - I'm all in!

Give it a name: It's called self care

It took a pandemic for me to learn _________ tell me, by filling in the blank

My new home school

Guess what I'm wearing at present, guess

Find out the answer to that here:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

Quarantine & Chill
Michael Shinafelt

Hello from Quarantine, hope everyone is doing well and not going too stir crazy. I plan on staying in today all day. That's correct I will only exit my abode to collect my mail. That's it. 

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, but if you aren't come with me to the other side...do it, I dare you!

Obviously I am having my weekly period, not my weekly exclamation point. That is all.

Hey Kids, don't stress about college at this point rehab is going to be harder to get into

Quarantine Movie of the week - Happy Death Day, lot's of fun!

Overheard: She's like the Yoda of pussy

Well, well, well if it isn't the consequences of your actions. Say "Hello" to them.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premieres this coming Wednesday, there's that

A banana has 108 calories, a gin & tonic has 91, the more you know

Can't wait to spend another day alone with my F#cking thoughts

Woman Crush of the Week - Kristen Stewart who turns 30 today. I like her independent spirit.

Something to look forward to? Law and Order: SVU is on tonight

La da dee, La da dee doo, La da da me, La da da you, La da dee, La da dee doo, There's only me, There's only you...

Vengeance is a lazy form of grief

My soft boiled eggs are a travesty 

What pair of shorts shall I don today?

Find out here: 

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en

https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Michael's Musings

I'm Alive, So Alive...
Michael Shinafelt

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than be loved for who I am not" - Kurt Cobain 

Today would have been Kurt Cobain's 53 Birthday. "Yes" I am a Nirvana fan. It took me a while to get on board, but when I did I was hooked. Translation: when I actually took the time to really listen to their music, rather than sort of engage, I then discovered it's brilliance.

I'm glad that I'm still around to enjoy them, time to sound off minions!

FYI - I possess he gift of creative revenge when I'm very angry

Today I am thankful for the Foo Fighters, because I have never been threatened by a Foo. That means they are doing their job 😃

Gently kiss the light

A friend asked if I think the Denise Richards/Brandi Glanville hook-up on the upcoming season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is a story that was done for ratings. My Magic 8 Ball says "Most Definitely"

Plant your flag in my mouth...

What if one day your dog said "Nobody is ever going to believe you" and then never spoke again???

Make lying wrong again

No matter your candidate of choice I think we can agree that the world needs more eggplants 

Woman Crush of the Week - Cindy Crawford...Just Because...

You want to show that special someone the very depths of your soul, but your competition has cocaine and Metallica tickets, discuss

Christian Bale just ran naked through my mind

For your safety & protection there will be a five minute blackout

I wonder what the guy who was punching the back of the airplane seat is doing right now?

Does anyone remember Ring Around The Rosie?

Join me in the second circle of  Hell at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Current Mood

Can't Fight This Feeling!
Lisa Rinna 

This photo of Lisa Rinna motoring to a yoga class with a T-Shirt slogan that reads "Good Vibes" is my post Labor Day Current Mood.

I feel very zen at present as I sit at the computer in the home stretch of my recovery from surgery. 

Lisa is currently embroiled in shooting Season 10 of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. We shall see how the show does post the hemorrhaging of ruling Queen Bee, the other Lisa, Lisa Vanderpump. 

They've added two newcomers instead of one to replace LVP, Garcelle Beauvis & Rinna friend and ally Sutton Stracke. Which is leading to speculation that Erika Jayne may be out this season or demoted to friend of the show via a recent cast announcement for the upcoming season minus her name.

Oh the drama! Season 10 has barely begun shooting and woot there it is! 

Honestly I'll take a yoga mat and some "Good Vibes" over drama any day.

Namaste.

"Good Vibes" on Dictionary.com -
https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/good-vibes/  

The Return of Lindsey Wallace

Lindsey Wallace All Grown Up
Kyle Richards

With the announcement that Anthony Michael Hall will be portraying Tommy Doyle in the upcoming Halloween sequel, Halloween Kills I didn't think there was anything more that they could do to make me eager for October 2020. I was wrong...

Kyle Richards most known for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills will be reprising her role of Lindsey Wallace from the 1978 original. For those feeling a tad lost Lindsey and Tommy were the two children that Jamie Lee Curtis' Laurie Strode was babysitting on Halloween night (Yes, I know Annie was actually Lindsey's sitter, but honestly she really didn't do a good job of it now, did she?!) 

David Gordon Green really knows how to pay fan service and make a good movie as witnessed in Halloween 2018. He knew bringing Richards back to play the adult version of the character she portrayed as a kid would send us Halloween Geeks into a nerd frenzy. Mission accomplished Sir!

This Fan Boy is counting down the days until October 16, 2020...!!!

Halloween Kills on IMDb -
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10665338/?ref_=nv_sr_1?ref_=nv_sr_1  

Michael's Musings

Twins?
Michael Shinafelt

Communication is weighing heavily on my mind of late, especially in relation to Doctors. Seriously why are they so vague with me, the patient when I have not one clue as to what is going down? I ask you, oh that's correct I bet you don't have the answer either, moving on up, or down depending on your perspective...

Spied a Latin Man sweeping the sidewalk in front of a church the other day with a T-Shirt that said "Jesus" on it, wasn't sure if it was a religious reference or not

And now for some Fembot action!!!

Salsa Cleanse, discuss

One day someone will light your hair on fire over a Kit Kat bar

You flooze, you lose

Rumor has it Kathy Hilton, Kyle Richards sister may be joining the cast of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills to fill the Lisa Vanderpump void, yaaaaaaaawn!

I'm not in school anymore so stop testing me

Feel Good Headline of the Week: "House panel unanimously passes 9/11 victims fund bill after Jon Stewart shaming"

My Little Pony is introducing a Lesbian character, a horse of a different color 

Just Because this image made me smile, Mariska Hargitay & her husband Peter Hermann

There's only one dick I can't handle: Donald Trump

Wine Wankers, I'll simply leave that one here

How come you never see countries with universal health care trying to repeal it? Guess it works or something, ya think?!

Elevate the F#cking conversation

Join me, won't you? -
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

"Beat It Creep"
Michael Shinafelt

In case you can't read my T-Shirt it states "Beat It Creep" (the hazard of taking selfies) that reflects a certain type of feeling I have of late towards specific current events. If you think Wanda from Cry-Baby when you see it you would be correct. It's part of Traci Lords clothing line for Pin-Up Girl which can be found here: 
https://pinupgirlclothing.com/collections/traci-lords-for-couture-for-every-body moving on -

This week has left me wondering many things. None of them particularly relevant to to anything other than the 360 degree circle of life.

Yeah, I am extrapolating in riddles, giggles & perhaps if you rock me real nice baby, sh!ts! Don't speak, it's time to get down to the master beat. "Yes" beat it 😜 

I am the straw that stirs the drink

Google Otto Titsling - you know you want to

Did I ever disclose I want to be Jackie Onassis, I want to wear a pair of dark sunglasses? If you don't know who she is, defile yourself

Pique is a turn

Not to be confused with PK from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills who Brian Moylan of The Vulture accurately described as a: Fondue made out of smegma

Speaking of smegma, how about that William Barr?!

I wanna explore your Mojave

That lady called Mommy a slut, what does it mean?

Boy George has a thing for Nikki Sixx, the more you know...

Half & Half equals death

Agnes Moorehead
as "Endora"
on the set of "Bewitched"

Sometimes we all need a little Endora to give us life

FYI I have no obsession with baby showers despite rumors to the contrary

Happiness is knowing another gay man who doesn't like Sade's music

This just in - Somebody loves you (not me I think you are a c#nt)

What the world needs now is a big motherf#cking "As If"

You're dismissed until further notice. Follow me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

(Cock)tails in Vega$

Would You Like A (Cock)tail?
Lisa Vanderpump & The Chippendales Dancers 

With all of the buzz about tonight's episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, you know the one where Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle Richards have a screaming match and Lisa's husband Ken joins the chorus. I thought a happy image of Lisa Vanderpump was in order today. The woman has been through a lot this past year people cut her some slack!

It's no surprise that Vanderpump is quite happy at the opening of her latest venture Vanderpump Cocktail Garden in Vega$ being as she certainly is surrounded by some cock & tail. "Yes" Lisa V. is flanked by Chippendales Dancers. You know those guys who strip, can I get an Hallelujah and a fist bump? Of course I can!

Not only that, but the fact that it's home is the world famous Caesar's Palace also must be putting some pep in her step.

Cheers to a diamonds and rose' sort of day, the calm before tonight's RHOBH sh!t storm if you will. "Yes" we will and thank you very much, Michael has left the building -

Vanderpump Cocktail Garden on IG -
https://www.instagram.com/vanderpumpvegas/  

Michael's Musings

Look Closer
Michael Shinafelt

Many of my friends who are fans of the show The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills have posed this question to me since episode one: "Why is Denise Richards on the show?" 

Then a along came Penis-gate, and her giving zero F#cks attitude about her wedding to Aaron Phypers. That's correct minions Denise is on the show to make the rest of the women look trivial and annoying IMHO. Denise is there to teach them, not to mention the rest of us, life is too short to accentuate the negative have fun and let the good times roll! So, what are we waiting for, time to roll and rock...!!!

Life is a parade of absurdities and pain, and then we die, alone, in filth. So, yes, little girl I shall buy a box of Thin Mints.

That time in spin class when my Whore and my Toy didn't show. That's correct I was a Toyless Whore 😟

Check your panda 

According to an online game my Metal Band name is: Crucified C#nt Muffin Witch

Need proof Karma exists? I present you Wendy Williams

I know tongue talk

Cherry's my favorite

What's up hoes?

Drive by Lesbian moment, discuss

Colin Farrell, Colin Farrell, Colin Farrell

Put a little lust in your heart 

I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a _______ fill in that blank, I dare ya!

Dumbo opens tomorrow 

The Ides of March are winding down 

Spring forward with me to April won't you at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

Take On Me
Michael Shinafelt

"We're talking away, I don't know what, I'm to say I'll say it anyway, Today's another day to find you shying away, I'll be coming for your love, okay?" Take On Me, A-ha

That's correct minions I'm coming for you, perhaps not necessarily your love, but something along those lines. Maybe your attention, or your soul, ya know the same old, same old. Wanna get the 411? What's new pussycat? You'll find out, trust moi.

Join me in the Ritual of the Spooge Nuns, won't you?

"My vagina is a fashionista too" - Stassi Schroeder, Vanderpump Rules

FYI I just took and ovulation test and didn't pass

They're watching you, I'm not...

Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists premiered last night - Beacon Heights is where I will be every Wednesday for it's initial 10 episode run. "Yes" that means I loved it.

FML $2 Filet-O-Fish Friday is back at McDonald's 

And now a word from my nether region

Never trust anyone who spells Gonorrhea right on the first try

Fact of the Day: Serial Killers never cooperate unless they have no other options

A shout out to Denise Richards for her classic TMI moment on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this week, fabulous!!!

Every time you see a rainbow...

False Alarm hey, hey, hey, hey!

I wanna be your dog, I also wanna be adored

Mmmmmmmm...salty

Now's the time to sign language off, join me on Social Media won't you?

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en

https://twitter.com/MShinafelt