Michael's Musings

As The Quarantine Turns
Michael Shinafelt

This weeks episode of As The Quarantine Turns clearly has me doing something many of you have more than likely done too. That's correct minions, it's called going through all of your old photos as you can see by this weeks image of myself, I have clearly been doing just that.

Once upon a time I used to bleach what was left of my hair blonde. I did have more fun, and it looked groovy, onward with this weeks tomfoolery buttercups.

It's Purple Monkey Time, woot!

Florida beaches are now open. I'll  just leave that here.

I can deal with your problem, or rock out. But I can't do both

The season finale of  Law and Order: SVU is on tonight, while I can't wait I am riding on a bummer there will be no other new ones until who knows when 😞

Four months in and 2020 feels like 2024

Some sweet news - See's Candy is slowly resuming operations

Now for some frivolous news - It's official I can't stand new addition to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Sutton Stracke, ugh, simply ugh!

Pets are smarter than people, because pets don't hate people over politics

Woman Crush of the Week - Fiona Apple, she made "Fetch" happen with her latest album Fetch The Bolt Cutters

Jack Nicholson recently turned 80, I love me some Jack, what a great actor

All I want is a Disco Stick 

Yesterday was the day when people who were flying private roughly a month ago made social media posts about Earth Day

Also happened yesterday, the title of the Hunter S. Thompson novel Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas took on a whole new meaning. Think about it, but not too much...

Pizza is my latest food group during quarantine

Join me for a Pepperoni/Jalapeno won't you? at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt.

Michael's Musings

Quarantine & Chill
Michael Shinafelt

Hello from Quarantine, hope everyone is doing well and not going too stir crazy. I plan on staying in today all day. That's correct I will only exit my abode to collect my mail. That's it. 

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, but if you aren't come with me to the other side...do it, I dare you!

Obviously I am having my weekly period, not my weekly exclamation point. That is all.

Hey Kids, don't stress about college at this point rehab is going to be harder to get into

Quarantine Movie of the week - Happy Death Day, lot's of fun!

Overheard: She's like the Yoda of pussy

Well, well, well if it isn't the consequences of your actions. Say "Hello" to them.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premieres this coming Wednesday, there's that

A banana has 108 calories, a gin & tonic has 91, the more you know

Can't wait to spend another day alone with my F#cking thoughts

Woman Crush of the Week - Kristen Stewart who turns 30 today. I like her independent spirit.

Something to look forward to? Law and Order: SVU is on tonight

La da dee, La da dee doo, La da da me, La da da you, La da dee, La da dee doo, There's only me, There's only you...

Vengeance is a lazy form of grief

My soft boiled eggs are a travesty 

What pair of shorts shall I don today?

Find out here: 

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en

https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Michael's Musings

Who Me?
Michael Shinafelt

It came, it saw, it conquered...you know Parasite. I for one called that it would take home the top honor at The Academy Awards. Everyone I knew kept saying it would be 1917, but my intuition told me otherwise and that is why I listen to it and not other people.

On that note - Ready? Set? Go!

Don't be the scrunchie on the door of an abandoned room, just say no!!!

Open my trunk and load in all your equipment

So what, I'm still a Rock Star

That's so Summer's Eve

Make a F#ckin' cup'a tea!

How much is that lizard in the window?

Congrats to Joe Jonas & Sophie Turner who are expecting their first child

Nothing says gangsta like a Hello Kitty phone

Woman Crush of the Week - Lucy Hale, with Katy Keene and Fantasy Island happening, hey why not?

Grace me with your staggering uniqueness 

Warning: Can Not Be Trusted With Tampons

Don't stumble over something behind you

I know there's something going on...

Confessions of a Law & Order: SVU addict

Wanna hear more revelations, follow me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Margaret Cho Gets Her Some "Law & Order: SVU"

Got Massage?
Margaret Cho
Photo:
Albert Sanchez 

One of my favorite people and my favorite TV Shows of all time, together on one night...I'm so in! 

Emmy and Grammy Award-nominated actress, comedian, author and producer Margaret Cho will guest star in the record-breaking 21^st season of “Law & Order: SVU.”

Cho will guest star as the manager of a massage parlor who’s swept up in a sex trafficking sting operation.  The episode, titled “Counselor, It’s Chinatown,” will air in November. 

An accomplished performer in all formats, Margaret Cho could be called the “Queen of all Media” having conquered the worlds of film, television, books, music and theatre. She has five Grammy Award nominations (two for music albums, “Cho Dependent” and “American Myth”) and one Emmy nod for her groundbreaking work on NBC’s “30 Rock.” Never one to shy away from a difficult or taboo topic, her socially aware brand of stand-up comedy has made her both a thought leader as well as a teacher to those with open minds and open hearts. In 2017, Rolling Stone magazine named her one of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics, calling her “the sort of funny, sex-positive feminist and LGBT activist younger comics continue to look up to.”  Equally as important as her creative side is the causes she is passionate about. Margaret is widely recognized for her charitable work with gay rights and anti-bullying campaigns. In every segment of her life, Margaret is honest, forthright, passionate, uproarious and always entertaining. 

Watch all-new episodes of “Law & Order: SVU,” the longest-running primetime drama in television history, Thursdays at 10 p.m. on NBC.

Margaret on IG - 

https://www.instagram.com/margaret_cho/?hl=en

Michael's Musings

My Doppelganger
Michael Shinafelt

My doppelganger brings all the boys to the yard...

What's new pussycat, whoa, whoa, whoa! Seriously what's new? I am curious yellow please do tell, or not. Whatever...I made it to the gym for the first time in two months on Tuesday. Me and my boot, hey it was made for walking, at least that bloody cast is off and I can now wash my right foot. "Yes" I said goodbye to right foot odor this week, Yay!

Now about that other issue, that one time at band camp when my doppelganger took over...

I draw inspiration from the meta, don't judge me 

The 21st record breaking season of one of my favorite TV shows, Law & Order: SVU premieres tonight, woot!

Keep others afraid of you by calling Fall "the harvest"

Remember it's head spinning season, spin it like a record baby!

The Emmy's happened this past weekend. The Kardashians presenting on them got laughed at like Carrie. I Tweeted about it and Entertainment Tonight used my Tweet in their post Emmy write-up. Here is the link: https://www.etonline.com/did-kim-kardashian-and-kendall-jenner-get-laughed-at-while-presenting-at-2019-emmys-132923

You say Label, I say Whore = Label Whore

The Impeachment process against Trump has been implemented. Let the cartoons begin!

On that note enjoying someone's public downfall does not pay your bills, stay focused

Woman Crush of the Week - Erika Jayne she'll be giving plenty of moxie as Roxie

If I told you once, I told you twice, I'm obviously not going to say it three times fast, duh

Mary Wilson of the Supremes was the first to go on Dancing With The Stars, in case you care

The best advice I can give you? Never give unsolicited advice

Are you a FOMO-sapien?

If you can't fly in the big leagues, stay off the broom

Soon I will be spread eagle somewhere, join me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt

Monday Motivation

Hello Gorgeous
Christopher Meloni

Thanks to someone I follow on Instagram and of course the obligatory Law & Order: SVU marathon on the USA Network yesterday, I have the sexiest man alive IMHO, Christopher Meloni on my mind. "Yeah" he is sex on a stick and then some.

How is this Monday Motivation you might ask? Well Chris, motivates me to do many things, nothing I can really speak of here. He also just makes you want to go balls to the wall sexy. "Yes" all of us have an inner Christopher Meloni within us, just waiting to be released like the Kraken. That's correct a big bad sexual beast just waiting to be turned loose.

Who could not get turned on by a man who can do the splits like this and drink red wine at the same time? Seriously flexibility is the key to _______ come on my dirty minded minions insert something into THAT blank 😉

BTW did you know Meloni finally drank the Kool Aid and joined Instagram? Oh Yeah! Thus I follow him with relish and hold the pickle.

Speaking of which, my Monday has now been sufficiently Motivated, time to get Kraken!

Meloni on IG -
https://www.instagram.com/chris_meloni/?hl=en  

It's Sunday, Time For Some Law & Order

Baby It's Cold Outside
Mariska Hargitay

Now in it's 20th Season Law &Order: SVU is one of those shows that has endured many changes, most notably the moving on of series lead and all around stud Christopher Meloni and other rotating cast members.

The one thing that has always remained is Mariska Hargitay who portrays Detective Olivia Benson. She is the shows heart and soul. It has been a treat to watch Hargitay grow and evolve into the role she was clearly meant to play.

"Yes" that's correct minions, over the years the character of Benson has evolved as she has experienced more and gotten older. Thus Harigtay's portrayal of her has too, she has really grown into the character and inhabits her with a completeness few actors ever achieve. Here she is above freezing her tooshie off in NYC this past Thursday shooting more episodes for the current twentieth season.

Which brings me to Sunday, lazy Sunday. Since I am home writing on most Sundays there is always an SVU marathon on USA, "Yep" you guessed it, not only am I tuned in to the current season I watch the repeats with relish, no mustard (LOL).

All kidding aside it does not matter how many times I have seen an SVU episode it never gets old to me, and that's the honest truth peeps.

Mic Drop!

Law & Order: SVU on Rotten Tomatoes -
https://www.rottentomatoes.com/tv/law_and_order_special_victims_unit/s20

Just Because...Mariska Hargitay

Knocking It Out Of The Park
Mariska Hargitay

Is anyone out there a big Law & Order: SVU  fan, like me? Well if you are like me you are watching what is now the twentieth season of one of the longest running TV shows of all time.

Seen here filming season twenty in NYC is none other than Mariska Hargitay aka Sergeant Olivia Benson. I remember when Olivia was merely a detective and a damn good one at that with a hot partner named Elliot Stabler played by stud muffin Christopher Meloni.

Times they have and are a changing. While the cast has gone through some shake-ups, most notably the departure of Meloni. The show's popularity endures with the public, something about it truly resonates with people. It is the most popular of the Law & Order franchise, the original Law & Order running a close second. 

Personally I never get tired of the show and even watch marathons of it on occasion. While I must admit the show had been pretty hit or miss seasons eighteen and nineteen. Season twenty has been a home run week after week.

Twenty years and still going strong, now that's saying something!

Mariska on IG -
https://www.instagram.com/therealmariskahargitay/?hl=en  

Michael's Musings

Voices Carry
Michael Shinafelt

"I try so hard not to get upset, Because I know all the trouble I'll get" Till Tuesday, "Voices Carry"

Abuse is a hot button issue, as it should be. With it all over the place of late it brought to mind the great 80's hit song "Voices Carry" which addresses that very subject matter.

I say have a voice and let that shit carry, i know that's what I am doing! 

There's a new acronym in town W.I.A.D. - ask Shani Bayne about it.

Sometimes you just have to say, whatever the _____ you please!

Yoga is the key to anal sex

Once upon a time, there was a chocolate sundae and they called it...

WTF with the limp noodle song Havana by Camila Cabello?!

Kesha's Praying (which I love) is brilliant 

Please powers that be, let there be unicorns

Wasn't Brooke Shields terrific in her story arc on Law & Order: SVU?

Today is Tubby Custard Thursday!

Politics? My ass is too tired to go there

Double Oink!

Name something unusual you like getting naked for

I'm so feeling Teddi Mellencamp on RHOBH. She's simply the best!

"If you've had enough, don't put up with his stuff, don't you do it, If you've had your fill, get the check pay the bill, you can do it" - Enough Is Enough, Barbara Streisand & Donna Summer


If you've had enough you know where to fine me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt

Holiday Schwing! Daniel Sunjata

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Sunday Schwing! Christopher Atkins

Nostalgia's For Geeks???
Brooke Shields & Christopher Atkins

As you all know I am a big Law & Order: SVU fan. If, like me you watch it you know Brooke Shields has been guest starring as the Grandmother of Olivia Benson's (Mariska Hargitay) adopted son Noah on the current season. This got me Turtle Island Dreaming about one naked Christopher Atkins!

Christopher was the fuel of many of my gay boy fantasies when he went full frontal in the movie The Blue Lagoon. That was followed up by a Playgirl spread and more complete male nudity in A Night in Heaven with Lesley Ann Warren.

Yep, Chris was quite the bold one in his day and was one of the main reasons I knew I was gay.

Since I can't post images of him that made me Schwing on my site I did what I naturally do. Saunter over to Tye Briggs Favorite Hunks & Other Things, of course.

Tye did a an awesome piece on what Atkins meant to a young gay boy and his coming to terms with that, in terms of our man Chris aiding and abetting in the process. Titled: A Return Trip to Turtle Island -

Have some sweet dreams by clicking on the NSFW link below and Schwing Out Sister it's Sunday!

https://favoritehunks.blogspot.com/2017/09/a-return-trip-to-turtle-island.html  

Ph-Ph-Ph-Ph Photobomb!

The Only Bomb Anyone Should Drop
Tina Fey & Mariska Hargitay

What an intense week this has been and it's only Wednesday! Being that it has been I decided a little levity was in order via, what else? A celebrity photobomb, naturally...

This one is courtesy of funny lady Tin Fey on the 2013 Emmy's red carpet. See Tina give photobomb action to Mariska Hargitay of Law & Order: SVU.

Mariska is looking so stoic and Tina provides the perfect yin to her yang with a Cheshire Cat grin.

It's kind of like the state of the world at present. Think about it, but not too much.

Now it's time to bid adieu, so long, farewell and get your Hump Day on!

Tina on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/tina_fey_official/?hl=en

Mariska on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/therealmariskahargitay/?hl=en

Michael's Musings

Lord Won't You Buy Me A Mercedes Benz?
Michael Shinafelt

"It's obvious you hate me though I've done nothing wrong..." - People Are People, Depeche Mode 

This lyric sums up the week and the world at present perfectly right now. I don' feel the need to extrapolate on that. If you think I should, please remove yourself from this column and go do something productive, preferably without a white hood over your head.

Movin' on up...way up!

"In the more relaxed circles of Hell, you spend eternity opening and re-opening the fridge to see if something delicious has magically appeared" - Krista Allen

Is it wrong that I laugh sometimes during Law & Order: SVU?

Kylie Jenner having a midlife crisis at 19 - first world problems, yawn

Congratulations to my friend Mike Clifford his cover of "What A Wonderful World" has been #14 on the Los Angeles Jazz Chart 3 weeks in a row!!! Mike at: https://www.facebook.com/MikeCliffordsWonderfulWorld/

I like tacos and having my butt smacked

Had dinner with my BFF Brittney last Thursday @ El Coyote. Was then informed we missed the anniversary of Sharon Tate's last meal there by a day. The more you know. 

Farrah says: No drinks outside

Walk like an Egyptian, and F#ck like a drifter

I had 2 items in the 10 items or fewer line. Got behind a guy who had considerably more than 10. I cut in front of him and said "Have anything to say about that?"

Don't dream it, be it - words of wisdom from The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Apparently my bitchy level is comparable to a panther. I resemble that assessment.

We are enlightened 

Join me on a journey, won't you? at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt 

Michael's Musings

Cruel Summer?
Michael Shinafelt

This week was the end of a special chapter in my life. Yes, minions it was the series finale of Pretty Little Liars, a show that has always been there for me when I needed top notch escapist entertainment most. With a complete dash of reality to balance it.

Also this past week, June 25th 2017 marked the marriage of my awesome niece Shauna Waters to one Nick Kastner in Cabo San Lucas. 

Yep, this has been en eventful week, are you ready for what else I have to toss off your way? Well here it comes!

Sarcasm is my brains self defense mechanism for when I'm about to be murdered

I saw the Baywatch movie this week on the Sony Pictures Lot. Dumb, but fun!

Follow the yellow brick road. Why not?!

When sh!t turns weird

The only disability in life is fear

It's hard out there for a freeballer

More Like: Kale Blech! Bite Me, Trader Joe's!

Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole

Wake. Pray. Slay.

Pretty Little Liars was on for seven glorious seasons, it's gone now. I am bummed. Can you imagine how I will feel when another of my favorites Law & Order: SVU ends, that f#cker has been on for twenty seasons & counting!

Well wishes to my friend Diva Sandy Zacky who is recovering from knee surgery

"Tilda Swinton is what happens when Tim Burton makes a Meryl Streep" - Faith Choyce, Comedian 


Happiness is following me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

Throwback:
Revenge Of The Nerd
Michael Shinafelt

It's Thursday and time for another dose of whatever I feel like saying. This weeks column may be a tad foggy with a a 100% chance a sinus issues.

That's correct my sinuses have had havoc brought unto them by the Santa Ana Winds blowing all sorts of lovely things around the City of Angels. Let me tell you it's no fun and makes me count to ten way more than usual throughout the day because I am so damned irritable!

OK, now that I got that out of my nasal passage let's do it!

Feud on FX ended this past week, I must say the final episode was masterful

Quote of the Week: "The Kardashians look like turds with frosting"

There is a band with the name Palm Springsteen, brilliant!

Juan Pee Pee. All you hardcore Law & Order: SVU fans know what I mean.

I like big butts and I cannot lie

Starbuck's slogan for the Unicorn Frappauccino should be: Shit the rainbow

Mike Clifford's video for his cover of Louis Armstrong's "What A Wonderful World" dropped this week, if you need to smile check it out after the jump. PS I'm in it.

T.G.I.F! Thank God I'm Fabulous!

My Twitter bio reads - Proud Muslim Lesbian. Wanted to see if you are paying attention.

No more printed paper towels or napkins!

A friend informed me this week you can have pot delivered to your door. The more you know.

I know you are going to judge but the last ten episodes of Pretty Little Liars is now down to eight left. Yes, I am starting to feel empty.

Misery loves company, thus join me at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt    

Sunday Schwing! Luke Perry

Luke Perry
Before He Gets Naked
On Oz

I recently saw a re-run of Law & Order: SVU featuring Luke Perry portraying a rapist. A far cry from his teen heartthrob days as bad boy Dylan McKay on Aaron Spelling's Beverly Hills 90210.

This got me thinking about other adult roles Perry has essayed post playing every teenage girl (and some boys) favorite rouge. Well none of them are as adult as the time he played the Reverend Jeremiah Cloutier on HBO's prison drama OZ.

One of the thing OZ is known for is lots of male frontal nudity. Yes I am talking penis here. Most notorious of the actors baring  all was Law & Order: SVU alum Christopher Meloni. Not one to disappoint Perry too showed his family jewels to the delight of his legions of fans.

Thus you guessed what I did next, can't you? "Yes" I paid a visit to Tye Briggs Favorite Hunks & Other Things to see if he had posted Luke exposed on the show. Butt (pun intended) of course he did, you can click on the link below and check him out. I promise you won't be disappointed!!!

Now quite reading and start Schwinging!

Get an eyeful of Luke Perry at the NSFW link here:
http://favoritehunks.blogspot.com/2007/10/luke-perry.html

Sunday Schwing! Christopher Meloni

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Michael's Musings

Eat Your Heart Out, Madonna
Michael Shinafelt

It's Thursday and I'm back! It's my wrap up of random thoughts and opinions about this past week headed into the weekend.

Brace yourself. This could be offensive depending on your level of political correctness!

Why the F#@k should Simon Cowell have apologized for jokingly saying to openly gay TV host Rylan Clark-Neal  "I thought you liked the back door" on National TV? The only way this would be any sort of an insult is if he was a total top.  

Can you live in only dermatology and water sports?

Accelerate easy, break easy, like making love. That's one way of doing it I suppose.

Tori Spelling apparently wants to give Octomom a run for her money. She is pregnant with baby number five. Six, Seven & Eight, cumming soon!

File This Under TMI - I watch the Real Housewives of New York while sitting on the toilet.

Street Talk: "Hunt the brown worker face." Your guess is as good as mine what that means, especially since a Latin Guy said it. 

"For every pussy a pair of shoes will go to a child in need" - Margaret Cho, Green Tea. This should be Trump's last gasp campaign slogan. 

How about that episode six twist on American Horror Story: My Roanoke Nightmare last night???

Let's Bounce!

Law & Order: SVU still rulz after eighteen seasons.

Time for a little self care, not to be confused with self love. Ciao!

Time to tweet at:
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt    

It's Better With A Ball Gag...

Slave 4 U
Ice-T & Coco

Ice-T is honestly one of my favorite actors. He among many other reasons, is why I tune into Law & Order: Special Victims Unit which has been on the air for a whopping 18 seasons!!! The show is a personal favorite of mine in case you can't tell. 

As a side note I also I worked with his daughter in another life at a Talent Agency. She was a receptionist,and I was in accounting. Tell me more you say? Nope, you will have to read my book when it comes out for that story. Hey what would the Halloween season be without tricks?  

So Ice and his curvy wife Coco are known for their hot & hotter Halloween costumes. 

I decided to present you with my fave. The couple dressed hellbent for leather, with Coco in charge and Ice with a ball gag in his mouth.

These guys always make me smile when I see them together because they seem so happy with one another. Keep on keeping you two!

Ice on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/icet/