Michael's Musings

Totally Different Head
Michael Shinafelt

Happy March minions! You know what, I sort of kind of dig the month of March, for one thing it's the return of Daylight Savings Time. But mainly because of it's name - March.

March into the future, March with confidence and of course March to the beat of your own drummer.

So let's March on shall we and kick off the month by Marching to the beat of our own drummer with this quote as our mantra:

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

R.I.P. Luke Perry aka Dylan McKay

Happy Thursday from Satan's Laughing Camel

BTW I make fresh goat cheese and help people find love

Yeah, whatever, I am prepared for that eventuality 

Does your cat vomit?

Team Vanderpump!

I can convince small children that I am a witch 

Nothing like a good ______ you know you want one....

My favorite Bitches are back! The Real Housewives of New York City 

Today is National Cereal Day - do what your Rice Krispies tell you to

Wake up and smell the drill bits!

Sorry to hear the news about Alex Trebek

"Somewhere beyond right and wrong there is a garden. I will meet you there." - Rumi

Join me in my garden at -
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Just Because...RHONY Season 11 Taglines

Absolutely Fabulous
The Real Housewives of New York City

With season 11 of The Real Housewives of New York City approaching on Wednesday March 6 on Bravo I thought I would get silly on Sunday. (say that three times fast)

The new opening taglines have been revealed. Normally I would not post about such nonsense, but there is one in particular I LOVE!!! However to play fair I will post them all and save the best for last.

Here we go...

Luann de Lesseps: "I plead guilty…to being fabulous."

Ramona Singer: "The only thing I'll settle for is more."

Tinsley Mortimer: "Game, set, now, I need a match."

Bethenny Frankel: "When life gives me limes, I make margaritas."

Dorinda Medley: "If you've got a problem with me, it's your problem!"

And my favorite goes to, drum roll please...Sonja Morgan! 

Sonja Morgan: "People call me over the top, but lately I prefer being a bottom."

Leave it to Sonja to make a gay joke, and an astute one at that. Say what you will about her, but she's fearless! 

The RHONYC on the WWW at:
https://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city 

You've Got To Have Friends

Friendship
Luann de Lesseps & Lance Bass

After the tumultuous past couple of years - a quickie marriage/divorce, getting arrested for a DUI, assaulting a Police officer, entering rehab, relapsing and re-entering rehab and to top it all off being sued by her ex-husband and children, Luann de Lesseps of The Real Housewives of New York City has had quite the bumpy ride.

Lucky for her she's got friends, and lots of them as she takes to the stage in her cabaret show #CountessAndFriends - Look who dropped by while she was performing at The Borgata in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Why it's none other than NSYNC singer Lance Bass!

Honestly I kind of like Luann, mainly because she owns her mistakes. She does not blame everyone else for her problems. While her reactions to them may be less than ideal, we've all been there and done that. 

It's nice to see her having a good time and taking her act on the road. She, like all of us, deserves to have something on our lives that makes our soul happy.

Most importantly she has a great support system of, well, friends.

C'est la vie!

Luann on IG -

https://www.instagram.com/countessluann/?hl=en   

Michael's Musings

I Heart You
Michael Shinafelt

"I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks, I've been drawn into your magnetar pit trap trap I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black" - Nirvana "Heart Shaped Box"

Oh hey wait I've got a new complaint, or not. boxes and hearts have been going through my mind of late. I also garnered a new title "Hung Hunk" while I have always been the former, losing 50 lbs. will always give you something extra, thus the added adjective of "Hunk" - "yes" it's time to ruminate, minions.

Me & Madonna have something in common in the photo above. Think about it, but not too much.

That moment when you realize someone named Bazzi has a hit single -WTF?!

Tinsley Mortimer of The Real Housewives of NYC gives women a bad name

I am officially fierce

"Put your hand between your legs and make it hard" - Jessica, Spin Class instructor

This is how you ______ it's blank, fill it in

Kylie Jenner turns 21?! Wow! I thought she was at least 25 already

Moist

Bringing The Real
Denise Richards

Congratulations to Denise Richards on joining the cast of the Real Housewives of BH - That's Hot!

"It's not easy being green" - Kermit The Frog

Current Mood: That's for me to know & you to find out...

Sangria! 

Words of wisdom - Lyft is cheaper than Uber 

They will try to bury us, they didn't know we were seeds of love

Hey beautiful people, time to wake up 

Here it goes again @ -
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/
https://twitter.com/mshinafelt?lang=en

Michael's Musings

Got Handcuffs???
Michael Shinafelt

Don't you love a man in uniform? It sort of takes you to a place...you don't need to tell me where that place is, but I have an idea. Shall we move forward, of course we shall.

Lord won't you give me a Mercedes Benz? If not a Toyota Prius would suffice

The season finale of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was last night. On to my favorite part of the show, the reunion!

OMG what are you doing at the Scientology building?!

WTF with Unreal this season??? The only truly astute season was the first

Jump on it! Figure that one out.

What's the deal with the baby bottle Lala Kent? Smells like publicity spirit

R.I.P. Barbara Bush

Sad to hear John Cena & Nikki Bella have parted ways

Tonight's the night, "yes" it's the series finale of Scandal. Putting on my sad clown make-up at present.

Meghan Markle, Meghan Markle, Meghan Markle

Wanna gain 50 lbs?! Eat mac & cheese at 2 am...what a feeling!!!

Bernie Sanders & Cardi B in 2020? The fantasy is _____ yep, it's time to fill in the blank

Stare at someone, intensely, for no reason, try it, you know you want to

Luann de Lesseps crooning Happy Birthday to Bethenny Frankel on the RHONY made me think of a drag queen lip syncing for their life on RuPaul's Drag Race

On that note, keep up with me instead of the Kardashians at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

New York State of Mind

10 Years Old
l-r
Ramona Singer, Dorinda Medley & Carole Radziwill

Tis Monday peeps and I'm feeling an East Coast kind of vibe. You know that take no prisoners, no BS feeling?

Perhaps it's because I just watched the Season 10 premiere of The Real Housewives of New York City. 

Nobody does it better than these bitches when it comes to putting it all out there and giving zero f#cks. They make The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills look like rank amateurs in the drama department.

I especially love that the season premiere had a Halloween party in it thrown by the Queen of making it nice Dorinda Medley that will go down in infamy. Why? Because Luann de Lesseps showed up in costume and um, slightly darker skin, as the legendary Diana Ross. Yeah, she got some major cajones! 

Also I must confess, I really like Bethenny Frankel, even though she can get on my nerves from time to time, she is my spirit animal.

To all my fellow RHONY fans I know what you will be doing Wednesday night!

The Real Housewives of New York City on the WWW:
http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city

Michael's Musings

Eat Your Heart Out, Madonna
Michael Shinafelt

It's Thursday and I'm back! It's my wrap up of random thoughts and opinions about this past week headed into the weekend.

Brace yourself. This could be offensive depending on your level of political correctness!

Why the F#@k should Simon Cowell have apologized for jokingly saying to openly gay TV host Rylan Clark-Neal  "I thought you liked the back door" on National TV? The only way this would be any sort of an insult is if he was a total top.  

Can you live in only dermatology and water sports?

Accelerate easy, break easy, like making love. That's one way of doing it I suppose.

Tori Spelling apparently wants to give Octomom a run for her money. She is pregnant with baby number five. Six, Seven & Eight, cumming soon!

File This Under TMI - I watch the Real Housewives of New York while sitting on the toilet.

Street Talk: "Hunt the brown worker face." Your guess is as good as mine what that means, especially since a Latin Guy said it. 

"For every pussy a pair of shoes will go to a child in need" - Margaret Cho, Green Tea. This should be Trump's last gasp campaign slogan. 

How about that episode six twist on American Horror Story: My Roanoke Nightmare last night???

Let's Bounce!

Law & Order: SVU still rulz after eighteen seasons.

Time for a little self care, not to be confused with self love. Ciao!

Time to tweet at:
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt    

Michael's Monday Musings

Don't Bother Me, I'm Basking
Michael Shinafelt

Today, rather than devote space to one thing I decided to give it up to many things. My impressions of this past week. Are you ready? Fasten your seat belts, because it's going to come hard and fast!

Congratulations to RuPaul on winning his first Emmy as reality TV show host. Much deserved, he is so good at what he does.

People who whistle in public places need to be silenced. It's really annoying.

My condolences to the Arquette family. I have encountered Alexis over the years he was a sweet soul. I am sorry for your loss.

I am loving the Real House Wives of New York reunion shows. Especially Bethenny Frankel for bringing bitchy back! So glad Jules Wainstein is not returning, I couldn't believe how much vagina she brought to the table.

Living in Southern California is the best! The weather of late has been so amazing.

Pretty Little Liars summer finale has only been little over a week ago and damn I miss that show already. Hurry up April 2017!

American Horror Story Season 6 premieres this Wednesday. That will fill the "Liars" void.

Nothing is better than a great spin class, luckily I have found two instructors at Gold's Gym Hollywood that fit the bill. Cheers Michelle and Jessica you are the best!

People yelling "Beat It Creep" at me when I am walking down the street wearing the T-Shirt Traci Lords gave me from her clothing line with the saying on it is always good fun.

I'm ready for the election to be over, seriously it feels like it's been going as long as I've been alive!

Follow me on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt

RHONYC: "It Still Looks Like A Big Ball Sack"

Got Vagina?
Real Housewives Of New York City

"It still looks like a big ball sack. My vagina definitely doesn't match my personality. I don't identify with her at all. Is my vagina going to go back to the perfect pistachio" - Jules Wainstein

This season on the The Real Housewives of New York City it's a whole lot of vagina!
One of my BFF's and fellow "Housewives" fan Karen Castrischer-Stegall stated it best: 
"Why is it necessary for a vagina to be a story line?!"

Ratings I am assuming? It all started with my spirit animal Bethenny Frankel's excessive bleeding. Then moved over to Jules Wainstein's vaginal tear (great name for a Drag Queen, right Karen?!)

Thus the insightful quote from Ms. Wainstein above...

Got vagina questions?

Well tune into The Real Housewives of New York City - Countess Luann is above it all, hey she's getting married after four weeks of knowing her fiance', her vagina is obviously just fine!

RHONYC at:
www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city  

15 Minutes: Kristen Taekman

Look We're Jogging, Yeah Right...
Tori Spelling & Kristen Taekman

Your star is fading, you are officially the most Boring Housewife of  New York City who was only mildly interesting the first season you were on because your husband was condescending and rude to you.

This season there are no scenes with your spouse and you simply become like a gnat, annoying, but quite insignificant.

What do you do Kristen Taekman? You want to be signed for another season, you need to do something that will make you an asset...here is what she did.

1) The Ashley Madison scandal is big news, latch onto it.

2) People will believe your husband Josh Taekman is a member if you say he is given his past behavior to you on The Real Housewives of New York City.

3) Was Josh really a member? Maybe, but it really does not matter.

4) Stand by your man, because that secures even more publicity and public scrutiny.

5) Lastly be seen "jogging" with Tori Spelling who noTORIously aired her and Dean McDermott's cheating woes in a reality show too - in what was clearly a set up photo op, to lend credibility to the situation. 

Hey you might even get your own show to do the same.

Any questions? I didn't think so.