Michael's Musings

Look Into My Eyes & Stop Staring At My Nipples
Michael Shinafelt

OK, I called this column Michael's Monday Musings last time, well because they were published on a F#@king Monday. 

From now on I will simply call it Michael's Musings. You never know when and where they will turn up. Are you ready? Here I go again!!! 

Thanks to a well played PR stunt on Dancing With The Stars Ryan Lochte and Cheryl Burke remain. Like they would actually have Burke kicked immediately off after her return to the show?!

If you haven't seen Don't Breathe yet and are a horror/suspense fan, from one to another, I highly recommend it, go!

To Sex-Head, I mean E.G. Daily currently starring in Rob Zombie's 31, congratulations! To the rest of you see it, see it!

I heard a Latin Woman call a Latin Man "N" word pimp the other day. Thanks Donald Trump for the perpetuating of twisted hate.

I recently dumped 13 pounds. Worship me, I am 50.

Why is everyone forgetting Angelina Jolie is Bisexual all of the sudden?

American Horror Story Season 6 is off to quite the lively start. I jumped twice! Can't wait for tonight's episode.

The humidity in Los Angeles this week is grody to the max!

 A shout out to Volcano Girl Shani Bayne who recently returned from Nicaragua producing a shoot in a, well, volcano. We met up for spin class for the first time in over a month yesterday,she had no lava burns or lamps.

To my favorite "bad girl" Ms. Traci Lords. Looking forward to attending the launch of your clothing line for Pin-Up Girl this Friday at the boutique in Burbank. 

That's all folks!

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Michael's Monday Musings

Don't Bother Me, I'm Basking
Michael Shinafelt

Today, rather than devote space to one thing I decided to give it up to many things. My impressions of this past week. Are you ready? Fasten your seat belts, because it's going to come hard and fast!

Congratulations to RuPaul on winning his first Emmy as reality TV show host. Much deserved, he is so good at what he does.

People who whistle in public places need to be silenced. It's really annoying.

My condolences to the Arquette family. I have encountered Alexis over the years he was a sweet soul. I am sorry for your loss.

I am loving the Real House Wives of New York reunion shows. Especially Bethenny Frankel for bringing bitchy back! So glad Jules Wainstein is not returning, I couldn't believe how much vagina she brought to the table.

Living in Southern California is the best! The weather of late has been so amazing.

Pretty Little Liars summer finale has only been little over a week ago and damn I miss that show already. Hurry up April 2017!

American Horror Story Season 6 premieres this Wednesday. That will fill the "Liars" void.

Nothing is better than a great spin class, luckily I have found two instructors at Gold's Gym Hollywood that fit the bill. Cheers Michelle and Jessica you are the best!

People yelling "Beat It Creep" at me when I am walking down the street wearing the T-Shirt Traci Lords gave me from her clothing line with the saying on it is always good fun.

I'm ready for the election to be over, seriously it feels like it's been going as long as I've been alive!

Follow me on Twitter:
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"Hooked" on ?6

I'm "Hooked"

OK, how can anything get any more enigmatic than the recent batch of teasers for American Horror Story Season 6?! We have a poster with the moniker "Hooked" and a new teaser that appears to be a botched alien abduction that gives a whole new twist on the "Bend & Snap" routine from Legally Blonde.

The only concrete thing we know about this season which premieres Wednesday September 14th, merely a few scant weeks away, on FX is this: It's set in the lost colony of Roanoke and explains "what happened" AHS style....other than that, who knows what the Hell that is going to be.

Personally I love that they are keeping this season a complete mystery. I have seen some restlessness from fans of the show on the web who want to know, and want to know now! Well, take a valium Veruca Salt and enjoy the fun leading up to the premiere like me! 

Enjoy the botched alien abduction after the jump!

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Want To Take A "Sunset Stroll?"

Staple Guns Have Many Uses
AHS: Season 6

Coming Wednesday September 14th to FX in your living room, it's the premiere of American Horror Story Season 6. 

So far all that is known about it is it is set in the present day and that Lady Gaga, Sarah Paulson and Angela Bassett are returning.

Two influences I see when I view the trailer? The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is spot on in one of them with isolated house, the weird mobile above the baby's cradle and the odd hands grabbing desperately from under the stairs as someone descends them.

Speaking of the baby's cradle does that demonic looking arm with a butcher knife look like it might belong to the Harmon's demon child from the end of AHS: Murder House? Perhaps, or maybe it's an all together new entity to terrorize us. 

All in all this is shaping up to be the most enigmatic season in the AHS cannon. 

Take a "Sunset Stroll" below...if you dare!!!

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AHS: 6

Woo Hoo! It's Friday July 1st which means it's the 4th of July weekend aka vacation time!

I thought the first glimpse/tease from American Horror Story Season 6 or 666 as I like to now refer to it as would be a fun way to kick it off.

By the looks of it this October is going to be a devilish time on FX. My AHS theory that I am sure many of you fans share is this is the season we find out what happened to the demon baby from AHS season one Murder House.

Perhaps little Bartholomew, Lady Gaga's progeny from AHS: Hotel will be along for the ride.

Keep those theories coming and T.G.I.F!!!

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