Parental Advisory isn't a one off for me it's a way of life. This week shant be any different, business as usual with a side of mellow, ,but not to much mellow. That's the way it goes. Shall we? "Yes" we shall! It was long, and it was fabulous Sometimes I can't find my head Last night's episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills should have been called: The Ghosts of Housewives past Close Encounters of the Karen Kind It's kind of like house arrest, without the ankle bracelet Kanye West is not going to be running for President in 2020. Did anyone think it was anything but a PR stunt? Bueller, Bueller... R.I.P. Kelly Preston Hey you, wear a mask damn it!!!
Woman Crush of the Week - Ayanna Pressley for telling Betsy Devos "I wouldn't trust you to care for a houseplant let alone my child" bad ass! Zoinks! That is all. After a mere month of reopening Gold's Gym Hollywood is closed again "sigh" Only the armadillo knows Love, Peace and Harmony So little time, so many ______ fill it in baby, but make it scandalous Get even more scandalous with me at: https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en https://twitter.com/mshinafelt?lang=en
TBT: Memories Of The Way Gold's Gym Was Michael Shinafelt
This week I hit the gym for the first time since March when it closed. It actually re-opened in the middle of June, I gave it a bit to see how it went. It seems to be going fine, we now have to wear masks & gloves. They also provide you with a spray bottle and towel to wipe down the equipment before and after you use it. Anyway my arms are really Effing sore, here we go Minions! That time when someone points out to you that the Oompa Loompas in Willy Wonka are actually cannibals 😮 Never trust a woman running barefoot on concrete Goth Corn is called: Corn on the Macabre, the more you know I am extremely disappointed that Halloween Kills has been postponed until Halloween of next year. But do check out the teaser that was just released, it's terrific! Steak at a strip club? Or listening to boring Teddi Mellencamp? I thought so... Constipation is all around us Hey, whatever doesn't kill me, I'm strong enough now. Thanks. Travel all roads, leave not one question unasked, never stop searching
Woman Crush of the Week - Morgan Fairchild (if you don't know who she is Google her) for her Twitter feed. It's political without being angry. Don't ignore the signs you asked for BTW you can think something without Tweeting it Dylan McDermott, that's all Mary Trump's tell all about her uncle just came out. She is a clinical psychiatrist and says he is a sociopath. Ya think??? How does it feel to want? Please do tell Spill it to me here: https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
After the WTF event last night known as the Golden Globes I needed something "So Extra" for my Monday Motivation. Thus I hereby bring unto you Matthew McConaughey jumping rope. "Yes" that's correct, jumping rope, it's not just something children do on the playground. In fact it's F#cking hard! How do I know? My spin instructor @ Gold's Gym Hollywood for some reason known only to her makes me do it in class. Honestly you will burn more calories and tone up really quick doing what you thought was a lark as a kid. Trust as an adult you realize how hard it truly is and feel the burn. Me? I am determined to master the art of the rope, I am like the little engine that could that's how hardcore I am pushing to get my jump rope macho on. What's your Monday Motivation bitches? "Birdie, birdie in the sky, Why'd ya do that in my eye? Birdie, birdie in the sky, Gee, I'm glad that cows don't fly" Got rope? Well here are some songs to skip to - https://buyjumpropes.net/resources/jump-rope-rhymes-songs-buyjumpropesnet/
What's happening minions I'm back for this weeks edition of Michael's Musings...Ooooops, I'm doing it again! There is one really specific thing on my mind of late. Me being fabulous over fifty, being that I have lost 41lbs! I am down to 172 from 213 - suck on that! Time to address adventures in being bad ass and other things, it's time to keep moving...! Breaking News! A beautiful, super in love couple named Prince Harry & Meghan Markle are getting hitched Saturday! (OK, not breaking news, unless you have been living in a cave) Yesterday before yoga I went to weigh in and the scale registered I was 178! I almost cried, until it hit me that I still had my yoga mat and gym bag in my hands. Yep! I'm still status quo. Did lunch at Wahlburgers on the Sunset Strip with Ms. Jackie Kilmer & Mr. Ken Phillips Tuesday. Always skirting the edge of glory. Whatever happened to Faye Ray? Do you know why I am nicknamed the "Disco Stick?" Hello my trick Jennifer Garner needs to stop asking "What's in your wallet" because one day someone will let her know. Dear Wine, it's me Michael
Hitting The Mat @ Gold's Gym Hollywood
Michael Shinafelt
911 - help I have become addicted to something I used to hate, yoga! PS Gold's Hollywood, U R Welcome for the free plug, again! To my friend Maresa Wickham - "Fail" Just saw Meghan Markle's half sister is hospitalized with a broken ankle on E!Online. The only way this is news is if Meghan went all Tonya Harding on her ass! Twitter Trolls, discuss - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? So glad I binged the first eight episodes of Famous In Love season two on Freeform this past weekend. While season one was meh, this season has really nailed it! Get it! @ : https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
You know the old adage "Don't poke the bear?" Well this bear, done got poked this week. Would you like to know what happens when such a thing goes down? I know you are curious, all the popular people are. To find out this and how other fantastic beasts are faring read on! PS Gold's Hollywood, you are welcome for the free plug included in this column Dear Kanye West - if you think slavery is a choice, then your mental state is too. Today's tongue twister: "Someone was caught half naked in the Queen's bedroom" - Queen being an open for interpretation sort of term. Whatever it is, I'm sure your opening monologue will cover it Is there anybody out there?! Horny guys need love too! Lisa Vanderpump gifted Kyle Richards with a $3,000 Channel Bag after she loses $1 million in possessions (including bags) in a home burglary. Who says chivalry is dead??? Shout our to my sister Susan Waters who turns the big five-oh this coming Tuesday, that's May the 8th. Welcome to the tribe sis!
"Come Alive" Traci Lords
My friend Traci Lords is also turning 50, on Monday May the 7th. In honor of that she is releasing her new single "Come Alive" - "Yes" I've heard it and no you can't until Monday. Stay tuned for our upcoming chat. I am the black jeep of the family Behold the Dirt Bike Bitch - subway graffiti at it's most random
"Between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried before" - Mae West I don't know about you, but I am feeling quite yummy today. I'd like to try something new. An evil perhaps? Or...use your imagination if you have one, of course you do! Yellow or red, the choice is yours. Let's smeeeeeeelllll what Michael is cooking! Kudos to the students who walked out for 17 minutes yesterday in protest of gun violence. One word: amazing! The Safe Word is: Stormy Daniels I love the smell of Cheetos and Tuna in the morning...NOT! Saw one of my favorite partners in crime, Julie McMahon for lunch yesterday at The Cheesecake Factory in Beverly Hills. The more you know. A friend of mine, thought Erika Jayne was a total "mean girl" for the way she attacked Teddi Mellencamp on RHOBH this week. While I think the punishment was harsher than the crime, I understood Erika's POV. That's two mentions for Beverly Hills thus far in my column this week, holla! There needs to be a band named: No Weed For A Bitch I need Scandal to surprise and thrill me tonight Notice Augustus Gloop and Donald Trump are never in the same room together?
R.I.P. The amazing, brilliant, one of a kind Stephen Hawking So excited, there is going to be a live DJ in one of my favorite spin instructors, Jessica's class today at Gold's Gym Hollywood. How does it feel to want??? Really, tell me. Dear Martin Shkreli - Karma's a bitch motherf#cker! Good Morning, I see the assassins have failed Hit me with your best shot at: https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
"I feel this moment is something unusual,(Here with me)" - Ariel Beesley, Slower Than Usual Sometimes life does not go at the pace we want. But you know what, you have to accept it. I've lost a mere 25 lbs. I would have liked to have shed more by now, but... Use your instincts and trust that you are on the right path, for yourself. Time to get busy! Is there anything better than a? _____ the blank is yours to fill in Why are there so many songs about rainbows? WTF? I don't know! Imagine something big is gonna happen Once upon a time there was a reproductive abuser Did you hear? The new season of Dancing With The Stars is going to be athletes, no "stars" - whatever The Joan Crawford of yoga is in my ayem class at Gold's Gym Hollywood. "Yes" it's obnoxious as it sounds. Can we talk about Stassi Schroeder's BF Patrick on Vanderpump Rules? Obnoxious, not to mention disturbing To my buddy Jay Jacobson. Enjoying your Travelogue pics of your trip to Vietnam Don't Speak When you are not tired enough to sit, kneel
Shout out to the Black Panther cast, you're number one!
Since he showed up to the Grammy's wearing a gender bending outfit by Helmut Lang designer Shayne Oliver complete with high heeled boots, I have Jared Leto vibes this week. Jared has kept a pretty low profile post his Oscar win for Dallas Buyers Club with the exception of portraying the Joker in Suicide Squad. Yeah, I know he was in Blade Runner 2049 but he was on the down low about it. While Leto is a pretty man, he is definitely one of the more quirky/unique actor/rockers in Hollywood. Honestly I wouldn't want him any other way. I generally don't go for the pretty ones unless there is that certain something that sets them apart, Jared has that and well a big you know what (look it up online, he does!) You just know he would be a freak in the sheets and keep you entertained for hours with his non-linear stream of consciousness musings. I used to see him wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses sitting against a wall at Gold's Gym Hollywood on his cell phone from time to time. Uh, that is not a disguise Mr. that draws attention, not deters it. Jared has the "IT" factor (no I'm not referring to Pennywise) in spades. Moving on, it's time to get your hump on and enjoy the image of Jared nude above...Woof! Jared on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaredleto/?hl=en
"When a rocket blows and, and everybody still wants to fly, Some say man ain't happy truly until a man truly dies, Oh why, oh why? Sign o' the times, unh" - Sign O' The Times, Prince Wow! What a week this has been! First let me start things off by stating I finally followed through on something that I have always thought about doing but never have. I took a boxing class at Gold's Gym Hollywood this past Tuesday night with my friend Maresa Wickham. Let me say this about the experience, it was exhilarating! So much so that when I did yoga yesterday morning, it's held in the same room as boxing. I kept looking over at the punching bag off to the side wanting to go a few rounds with it. There you have it, and here we go! The Globe is really desperate for gossip. The headline I saw in the checkout line at my local Smart & Final read: "Dying Camilla Plans Her Own Funeral." Like no on has ever done THAT before! Seriously Ryan Murphy? This past weeks American Horror Story: Cult featuring Charles Manson as part of the story line was on a lame par with the Valerie Solanas episode, and in bad taste in so many ways, I can't even!!! Danica Roem is the first transgender woman to win a seat as an official in Virginia over opponent Bob Marshall who tried to pass laws discriminating against her. History and the greater good have been served. It's raining diversity hallelujah! Jenny Durkan an out Lesbian has been elected Mayor of Seattle. My home area, yay! Byline: "Grey's Anatomy Will End if Ellen Pompeo Quits." I didn't know the show was still on, let alone it actually having an audience that tunes in.
Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire...
Mike Clifford
Mike Clifford's wonderful rendition & video of The Christmas Song drop this Wednesday November 15th. Keep up with Mike at: https://www.facebook.com/MikeCliffordsWonderfulWorld/ Daylight Savings Time ended this past weekend. Has anyone ever asked daylight if it really wants to be saved? If you had a Guardian Angel what do you think they would do? What would mine do? Be spent 24/7 Speaking of 24/7 things: pizza, yes pizza you are always on my mind Lyrics are really hard to decipher in songs you don't know. I swear there is a song I hear in Jessica's spin class @ Gold's Gym Hollywood that has the refrain: "When I put my titties on" This week everything has been coming up Unicorns...go team uni! Everything is rainbows & unicorns in my world at: https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
Wow! What a motherf#cking week! Las Vegas will prevail. Yet the lives lost and people affected are unconscionable. So this weeks tone is provocative (yeah OK, every week is) Can't we say and do anything we want at present? The jerk off who is "running" our country seems to think so. Thus if the image of tender affection between two men I posted of myself and J.M. Rich offends you. Seek serious mental help. Moving on up I presume. Luckily I did not lose anyone in the Las Vegas shooting. But I do have friends who did. WTF?! Tom Petty, Tom Petty, Tom Petty Latin language is inherently scary Mike Clifford's cover of "What a Wonderful World" is a smash hit! Check it out here: https://www.reverbnation.com/mikeclifford6 O U 8 1 2 Ya know, macho! (grab your crotch while saying it) It's true, I used to ghost many a party
Wayne Newton aka The Mask
Wayne Newton's face should be the mask of the Halloween season, scary!
There is no response to that I will find you, and I will eat you! (I can be so kinky) "Reach down between your legs and make it hard" - Jessica, spin instructor, Gold's Gym Hollywood Seeing my friend Margaret Cho perform tonight at The Wiltern. You know she is going to skewer Trump! I have a funky ass pain on the lower right side on my back. FML! 26 more days 'till Halloween Silver Shamrock This is the point where you are supposed to follow me on social media at these links: https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
Trivia - Joanne Froggatt takes the same Spin Class I do at Gold's Gym Hollywood, the more you know...
Cleopatra Entertainment LLC, the movie division of famed indie record label Cleopatra Records, has acquired all domestic rights to the feel-good true story A Street Cat Named Bob, directed by Roger Spottiswoode (Turner and Hooch, Tomorrow Never Dies) and starring Luke Treadaway (Unbroken), Ruta Gedmintas (The Strain) and Joanne Froggatt (Downtown Abbey). The film, written by Tim John and Maria Nation, is based on the international bestseller by James Bowen and Garry Jenkins. Produced by Adam Rolston for Shooting Script Films, the uplifting story will be released domestically in theaters on November 18th, 2016.
SYNOPSIS:
When James Bowen found an injured, ginger street cat curled up in the hallway of his sheltered accommodation, he had no idea just how much his life was about to change. James was living hand to mouth on the streets of London and the last thing he needed was a pet. Yet James couldn't resist helping the strikingly intelligent tom cat, whom he quickly christened Bob. He slowly nursed Bob back to health and then sent the cat on his way, imagining he would never see him again. But Bob had other ideas. Soon the two were inseparable and their diverse, comic and occasionally dangerous adventures would transform both their lives, slowly healing the scars of each other's troubled pasts.
The book "A Street Cat Named Bob" was first published in the U.K. in March 2012 and spent a record 70 consecutive weeks on the Sunday Times Bestseller list, the majority of which residing at the number one spot. The book has now been published in more than 30 territories, including the U.S., China, and Japan, selling more than five million copies worldwide.
Damian Jones (Absolutely Fabulous, The Lady In The Van) serves as executive producer on the film. Prescience fully financed the production and Tim Smith, Paul Brett, Anders Erden and James Swarbrick also serve as executive producers. The Exchange handled sales.
Sony Pictures Releasing International and Stage 6 Films will release the film on November 4th in the UK and in multiple territories this fall.
"This is a universal story that audiences around the world have already embraced," said Cleopatra founder Brian Perera. "We are excited to play a part in bringing this project to both old and new fans of this inspiring story."
"Powerful and inspirational, with a strong music base, A Street Cat Named Bob makes this true life story a perfect fit for Cleopatra Distribution," said Brian O'Shea, The Exchange CEO.
Are you scratching your collective heads about the above image and caption? Well let me strap one on and extrapolate. Those of you who take a spin class on a regular basis get what I mean, for the uninitiated here we go. Everyone no matter who they are have their favorite bike when they enter the spin room, in my case this takes place at Gold's Gym Hollywood (they should pay my ass for all my internet mentions of them.) I have two favorite instructors there, Jessica & Michelle, and guess what? I like the same bike all the time. Now don't get me wrong, if someone arrives before me and snags it, I can move on and not get bent. But that never happens, because I get there early enough to insure my place in the universe. So the image above is me showing affection for my favorite spin bike in the room with a tongue bath. Let's move on, I know you want to.... United Airlines, moving on... Oral tops & waffle makers Hey Guys & Dolls, this Easter I wish you the biggest basket Hagsploitation - I never thought a limited series on FX named Feud would introduce me to my new favorite term. There's no gray in Sonja Morgan's gardens. Dye it's not just for Easter eggs A woman named Ida Lickhammer gave a like to one of my Instagram posts this week. Yes, really. That time in spin class (you know, on my favorite bike) you mistake a Michael Jackson song for a Britney Spears one. Yeah, that really happened. Here comes Peter Cottontail, I hope he cleans up after himself To all the RHOBH fans out there. Look what I saw this past week DTLA
"There's got to be a morning after, If we can hold on through the night We have a chance to find the sunshine, Let's keep on looking for the light" - Maureen McGovern Theme from The Poseidon Adventure Well it's the morning after and although we didn't board the SS Poseidon it certainly feels like we are on a sinking ship. The majority of you, like myself, are still feeling like they are in an alternate universe, an episode of The Twilight Zone to be more specific. Well honestly we are. However I am going about my usual Saturday routine of drinking my smoothie and heading to my spin class at Gold's Gym. Life does not stop because a bigly bully is now our commander and chief. With this being said I am going to leave you with the image above on the first day of what is for sure going to be a turbulent voyage to say the least. Michelle Obama & Hillary Clinton looking at each other says it all without any verbiage. Make the morning after awesome for yourselves and your sanity. Time for my Blueberry smoothie.
Seriously, I would have never guessed it was John Stamos behind the mask. He's pretty mummified, thus it's too hard to really tell who it is. That being stated, while I never found Stamos attractive when he was younger, ever since he has hit his 50's he has really come into his own and well, yeah, the guy is hotter than he has ever been. There I said it now leave me alone. I'm going to have to do some detective work to find out what he masks his face with because whatever the magical elixir is, it is doing a bang up job! Love to keep what I have looking fresh in my 50's too. Well I am off to spin soon at Gold's Gym Hollywood, yep, that's the way I roll on Sunday mornings, however you roll have a groovy day!!! John on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnstamos/?hl=en
Alright who out there remembers when the movie Reality Bites came out? Me, me, me, me, I do! That is correct if you remember this time and place like myself, then you too are old. Yay! Now that we've established that. Today's piece of feel good nostalgia, a photo of it's stars Winona Ryder and Ethan Hawke who played love interests Troy & Lelaina in it, is for your creaky old booty. Hey it made me smile to see the two of them reunited at the screening of Born To Be Blue in NYC. It really is the simple things. Well I am sitting here at my keyboard with my morning fruit and Tejava tea gearing up for another Sunday spin class this ayem (get it gearing up?!) at Gold's Gym Hollywood, I may be old, but I still have buns of steel. Have a good one! Reality Bites on IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110950/?ref_=fn_tt_tt_1
Fall In Southern California
Michael Shinafelt
Photo: Bob Drapeau
OK, I have made an executive decision. Due to the popularity of this column I hereby decree my musings will now be posted every Thursday. No more Throwback Thursday for this guy. Now every TBT you are going to get my impressions of the past week heading into the weekend. No tricks here, time for a treat! A shout out to Ms. Summer Rudolph, my cousin who I have not seen in...yeah you get the picture. Loved connecting again at Marix Tex Mex in West Hollywood, CA. Grrrrrrrrrl you rock! Marla Maples is so gangsta! Dear twink who insists on sitting shotgun to me in Jessica's Spin Class at Gold's Gym Hollywood. Just stop please. Your energy is annoying and reminds me of a puppy dry humping my leg. Most of you would be less offended if Hillary Clinton were a man. "Yes" I'm playing the sexism card. Hello Kim Kardashian, can you seriously not get if there are those who think your being robbed is a publicity stunt?! Man on Man flirting. To all you men out there, develop the art of flirting with other men whether you are gay or straight. Trust me it works. Especially if you are a gay man flirting with a straight one. It may not get you laid, but it sure will get you what you want. Marilyn Monroe. Yep, that thought just happened. Is it just me or is Mark Cuban hot? Sometimes I like to imagine I am a male version of Miriam Blaylock in The Hunger. What? You think you have a better fantasy? Bring it! It turns out it really is better with a towel. TTFN = Ta Ta For Now My secret identity is a bird, Tweet with me: https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
