Hump Day & Chill

Tonight many of us will Hump Day & Chill to part two of the Vanderpump Rules Reunion. Part one was explosive expect more of the same tonight!

Vanderpump Rules is really the comeback kid. After several tepid seasons and plummeting ratings the show finally got it's groove back with a vengeance.

Hey it only takes one most excellent scandal to save a sinking ship.

Get ready Minions it's going to be a bumpy ride!!!

Pump Rules! on the WWW -

https://www.bravotv.com/vanderpump-rules 

But Of Course He Did...

Nothing Tom Sandoval of Vanderpump Rules could say or do at this point should surprise anyone. So it should come as no shock that he told Katie Maloney's Mom, Teri to "Shut The F#ck Up" in a scene that was actually cut from VPR.

Bravo did him a favor by deleting it. He already is a stone cold manipulating sociopath in everyone's eyes and does he really need to look worse??? I thought not. But it's out there that he did it so while we don't get to hear it, we know about it and that really doesn't help his "I'm not drinking" stab at rehabbing his image.

It's also not helping ticket sales for his hobby, I mean band's tour either.

Mic Drop!

VPR on the WWW -

https://www.bravotv.com/vanderpump-rules

Hump Day & Chill

Tonight if you're like me, you're gonna Hump Day & Chill and by watching the VPR drama unfold. According to Urban Legend they just finished taping the reunion. This legend is obviously true because Lala Kent was triggered (see the above meme.)

Based on her post traumatic reunion taping syndrome comment I'm guessing most of the cast will be taking a month off on a secluded tropical island somewhere.

In the meantime let's grab a glass and take a toast to Raquel's big reveal as a true villain, I called this one a long time ago.

She ain't no Bambi Minions!

Join me on the couch tonight for a VPR Hump Day & Chill...

https://www.bravotv.com/vanderpump-rules  

Michael's Musings

Look! I'm A Push Me Pull You!!!
Michael Shinafelt

On this weeks saga of As The Quarantine Turns - Social Summer has officially been cancelled.? "Yes" Minions California has Stay At Home orders until September. Which is just as well because here in the land of lock down, while I have been exercising, it's not the gym and I have been eating out of boredom. Thus I don't have the Social Summer Body I would have wanted. There's always an upside!

This week's Netflix & Chill is a recommendation from my niece, Lindley Waters, "You" good call Lindley, I love it! Season Two is even better than the first!

Tik Tok is making a lot of hot people truly not do-able

Let's discuss our most  mundane celebrity encounters, shall we? Mine was with Julianne Moore at the now defunct Rexall on Beverly and LaCienega. I told her how much I loved one of her first films Safe, she smiled and said Thank You, then we moved on.

Sweat sock opera gloves, discuss...

This season of Vanderpump Rules feels like it's been on since the beginning of time. In case you were wondering, that is not a compliment.

If you like classic movies, check out this blog a friend of mine does: https://www.jaysclassicmovieblog.com/

Shout out to the Thirst Responders (FYI not a typo)

During this time don't be a conversation killer. Seriously you don't want to be that person

Woman Crush of the Week - Shay Mitchell in You, she gives a deliciously bitchy performance as Peach Salinger 

There's nothing wrong with pretending your apartment is a piano bar and putting a tip jar on the end table, nothing at all

I had a dream with a lot of Cats & Dogs in it last night, that's all I remember about it, other than it was a pleasant one 😊

This weeks go to catch phrase: "Why don't you ask China that?"

I'm having a big bowl of frozen blueberries for breakfast, "Yes" I'm living my best life

My favorite thing about this time and place in the history of the world is ________ your assignment is to fill in the blank, surely you have something you like about it.

Wanna tell me what that was? You can find me here:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

Seeing Red
Michael Shinafelt

Cuomo shows up and it's like “Ooooh, Daddy's here.” Newsome shows up and it's like “Ooooh, likable step-dad is here.”Trump shows up and it's like “Ooooh, racist grandpa took out his dick at the bus stop.” - John Fugelsang

Yeah, I wished I could take credit for this gem, but I acquiesce to comedian John Fugelsang. I follow Mr. Fugelsang on Twitter. Oddly getting my Tweet on has been a quite cathartic outlet for me during these trying times. It's the arena where I get truly politic and where brilliant minds like Fugelsang remind me not everyone is a MAGA Zombie Apocalypse wanna be. Moving on up, down and perpendicular...

Post quarantine will the producers of My 600 Pound Life find me? Or do I need to call them? How does this work???

BTW - how's your quarantine going? I actually took a nap yesterday to stop eating...

Vanderpump Rules is totally dreck this season

In these tough times there we can always count on the Taylor Swift/Kanye West/Kim Kardashian menage. They'll be there for you.

Raspberry Sherbet - that's all

My favorite refrain of late? "Where's the pizza???"

Stop getting creative with hard boiled eggs, I implore you!!!

Just Say: Le Woof

Woman Crush of the Week - Sia because I want to swing from the chandelier, damn it

You put your right foot in, you rock out with your c#ck out. Now THAT's the hokey pokey!!!

Doesn't it feel a lot better?

Fingers crossed Halloween Kills, the follow up to 2018's Halloween doesn't get lost in the shuffle due to the age of Corona. Hey, I have my priorities in tact.

When you are a gay man with the last name of Rimmer (true story) 

Do you hear what I hear? Do you? Answer me! Whatever...

Send nudes here:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Michael's Musings

TBT: Feel The Blonde
Michael Shinafelt

The week in review? Let's not and say we went there, shall we? Yeah, it's like that. While everything is what you make of it, some things are more challenging than others and push you to find your super power within. Luckily the power to be my own Superhero exists in me, and you minions.

I have not lasted this long to be taken out by a virus named after a light beer. Hear that Orange Julius?! Here we go again, as it will and always shall be, it's time!!!

Nothing says love like a chocolate maggot

Billy sticks his finger in Susan's clam, what happens next? Discuss...

Rivers, veiny and rushing (yes, that's an entendre) 

FYI I've put it all on the record, uh-huh

Taylor Swift is "The Man" in her new music video, puns are in the heart

Let me show the the exact moment  _________ what would you like me to see peeps? Show me...

Macaulay Culkin set to appear in Season 10 of American Horror Story, I wonder if he'll be Home Alone in it?

Overheard while grocery shopping. Woman to her friend: "Booze, I must have some booze."

Woman Crush of the Week - Lala Kent of Vanderpump Rules. Sobriety is a good look for you, keep it up grrrrrrrl!

#MakeHumanityGreatAgain

Hey let's go back to the pod

Riddle me this, why does my face hurt sometimes after working out?

Remember to always keep feeling fascination 

Fun Fact of the Day: Ryan Gosling owns a pair of King Tut slippers 

What do I own? Find out at the links below...if you dare!
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

Write Now
Michael Shinafelt

"Cellophane flowers of yellow and green, Towering over your head, Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes, And she's gone" - Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds, The Beatles

While I have never been a huge fan of The Beatles they don't suck either. I woke this ayem with this song in my head. Obviously they did something effective, the tone for the day is set minions. I wonder what comes next???

Closer with Jude Law, Clive Owen, Natalie Portman & Julia Roberts was on HBO last night. I really love that film

Today's burning question? Why does anyone need to know the way to San Jose? Asking for a friend...

Hitting the 30th Anniversary Screening of John Waters Cry-Baby up on The Montalban rooftop tonight - Yeah, there's that. 

Lying is the most fun you can have without taking off your clothes, the more you know

I wanna hold your gland

Surprise of the week - Billie Eilish winning five Grammy's and Lizzo winning merely three

Know any lubricant scholars?

I often app with no filter

Woman Crush of the Week - Alyssa Milano for being fearless in her activism 

Fact: Sometimes people say mean things because they are sad

Would you like a penguin for your Birthday?

Dare - let's all try to stop being ridiculous for 10 whole minutes 

There is no one more wrong than Tom Sandoval on Vanderpump Rules

Scrubbed, Tubbed and ready to love

It's not like trying to find Waldo, I'm here for you at the links below -
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt    

Michael's Musings

Electric Dreams
Michael Shinafelt

"It's too bad that all these things, Can only happen in my dreams
Only in dreams, in beautiful dreams" In Dreams, Roy Orbison 

With all the static swirling around us in this mad, mad world it's nice to know we all have dreams. Dreams are a beautiful thing, never lose sight of yours. Unless of course that dream becomes a nightmare. When that happens you click your eyelids together three times and say "This is Bullsh!t time to wake up!"

I have no time to do anything, yet somehow I am always caught up on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (which, thankfully wrapped it's season this week)

Once when I looked at your Instagram feed I put a ______ in my _______ . Oh yeah, it's time to fill in those blanks minions.

It's time to break out the Pringles

How about those Democratic Debates? Answer me, how about them?

Stassi Schroeder & Beau Clark from Vanderpump Rules are engaged. OMG, I think my insomnia is now over!

The person next to me reeks of weed. I'm a good person I can't understand why this is happening.

Shout out to Shay Mitchell of Pretty Little Liars, she has a Baby On Board

Guy Crush of the Week - Zac Efron (don't judge me)

If I ever find out you don't vote, that's a wrap on our friendship 

The worms crawl in, sometimes they crawl out

Pack your suitcase full of lies & hit the road Jack, Tom, Dick or Harry...
Whoever the flip you are...

I can not unsee this, Ali Spagnola celebrating Shark Week

Mormon Psychics receive messages through their hair

Your are hereby to be referred to as Canasta 

Going My Way? at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Michael's Musings

S-M-I-L-E!
Michael Shinafelt

"All in all you're just another brick in the wall" - Pink Floyd, Another Brick In The Wall 

Mexico is going to pay for the wall. More like Mexico is going to pay for your therapy you effin POS!

Oh, and aren't you happy?! I'm not entirely angry, yet marching into 2019 has me feeling like deja vu from 2018. Something has got to give, and it ain't gonna be moi. Capiche?! 

Carry on my wayward son...

Why did Adele cross the road? To say "Hello" from the other side

"F#cking Twat" was said on Vanderpump Rules - my life is complete

Sometimes I feel like Blondie "Call Me"

Surrender Donald

Don't do the Bird Box challenge states Netflix. Whatever the F#ck that is

Trolls, they don't simply live under a bridge

Julie Chen got replaced by Carrie Ann Inaba on The Talk - Oh, Julie that karma thing, you know getting a job because your husband is rich, powerful, connected. That's not happening for you anymore now is it???

Someone told me the Golden Globes are this weekend. In case you have a damn to give -

Bitch Pudding

I got the gift that keeps giving - Bitch Pudding! Thanks Karen Castrischer-Stegall 

"Find inspiration today, Life won't sparkle unless you do"

Someone mentions the 80's, what song pops into your head???

You know, that thing

Smell like a captain, screw like a bunny

The Candy Man can 

Fall in line with me at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en

https://twitter.com/MShinafelt 

Michael's Musings

Nerdy Guys Need Love Too...
Michael Shinafelt

"I feel this moment is something unusual,(Here with me)" - Ariel Beesley, Slower Than Usual 

Sometimes life does not go at the pace we want. But you know what, you have to accept it. 

I've lost a mere 25 lbs. I would have liked to have shed more by now, but...

Use your instincts and trust that you are on the right path, for yourself.

Time to get busy!

Is there anything better than a?  _____ the blank is yours to fill in

Why are there so many songs about rainbows? WTF? I don't know!

Imagine something big is gonna happen

Once upon a time there was a reproductive abuser

Did you hear? The new season of Dancing With The Stars is going to be athletes, no "stars" - whatever

The Joan Crawford of yoga is in my ayem class at Gold's Gym Hollywood. "Yes" it's obnoxious as it sounds.

Can we talk about Stassi Schroeder's BF Patrick on Vanderpump Rules? Obnoxious, not to mention disturbing

To my buddy Jay Jacobson. Enjoying your Travelogue pics of your trip to Vietnam 

Don't Speak 

When you are not tired enough to sit, kneel

Shout out to the Black Panther cast, you're number one! 


You say Dorit, I say Dorito 

My niece Shauna Waters is moving to Arizona this summer...Yay!

To everyone fighting the good fight, keep it up!

You know how to go slower than usual, just put your lips together and...with me at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

Victory!
Michael Shinafelt

While I am still reveling in my weight loss and leaner body a new reason to celebrate came along. That's right kiddies, Doug Jones defeated notorious pedophile Roy Moore for the Senate seat in Alabama! Woo Hoo! Get up and boogie!

In other news...my Birthday is this coming Monday, the earth is still round and Christmas draws nigh. In a world of turmoil it's nice to know there are some things that never change and there are some things that can and should.

It's time for a happy dance!

I've met God, she's black

Celebrating the return of my cheekbones, oh how I've missed them!

Vanderpump Rules is back. It's hard to like any of these people. Seriously, I could call them all out, but how about saying there is only one of them I can stand: La La Kent and of course Queen Lisa Vanderpump herself.

While on the subject of Bravo reality shows, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is back this Tuesday...Yay! 

Please go get in a clown costume and be super cheerful and happy

This hole is my bitch!

Share your best bad boy walk

Yesterday was the Birthday of one of my partners in crime Maresa Wickham. "Yes" I wished her a HBD then, but thought it would be fun to give her a more public shout out, so there!

Mailed out all of my Christmas cards

Boxing tonight, it is a really meditative experience for me 

Omarosa is leaving her position at the White House as Trump's Chief Adviser on African-American issues. I forgot she was even there to do that job. Think about that comment, but not too much.

Blessed are the cheese makers. Without Brie I would be nothing!

11 more days until the Big C!

It's my Birthday soon, follow me if you want to at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en

https://twitter.com/mshinafelt?lang=en  

Michael's Musings

Hazy Shade Of Winter
Michael Shinafelt

We are a mere five days into 2017 and no celebrity deaths have occurred. Give it time it's still too soon after the three major ones at the end of 2016.

If only I could give you a juicy bone to gnaw on, but alas there is not too much to say at this premature stage of the NY. Give it some time, there is going to be plenty to rant about, love and be grateful for, soon. 

So here are my meager offerings as of now, drama free and without interruption.

Best thing about New Year's weekend? The Twilight Zone marathon on the SyFy Network. 

Mariah Carey really needs a reality check and to change her first name to Pariah.

Bright Lights: Starring Carrie Fisher & Debbie Reynolds on HBO. Can't wait!

Honestly, if you haven't seen Leah Remini exposing Scientology on her A&E docu-series you haven't lived. Cross my heart.

If you take quotes from Law & Order: SVU out of context, they are really quite funny.

Quote of the Week: "It makes me sad when anyone calls LGBTQ people perverts, because that means they don't know that straight people can have good sex too" - Faith Choyce, Comedian 

BTW the Golden Globes are this Sunday, in case you care. 

Vanderpump Rules
Not So Much Anymore

Is it me or is Vanerpump Rules really fucking staged this season. Transparently so, I have now dubbed the show A Gaggle Of Twats.

Just the other day I was "lucky" enough to board a subway car with a black gentleman bellowing to another how white people disrespect him all the time. Really? You mean you talking shit at the top of your lungs in a public place isn't disrespecting anyone???

Which reminds me I got an PM on Facebook the other day from someone chiding me for the use of #hastags - really. If that is your biggest issue in life go Fuck yourself.

Monkey Mat Mama's, why not I ask you?

"The Best Time of my Life is Now" - Marilyn Monroe

I will leave with the sage words of wisdom from the formidable Ms. Marilyn Monroe. Until next week, yeah, you know what's coming. Ciao!

I Tweet and Instagram at:
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/  

Michael's Musings

I'm Horny!!!
Michael Shinafelt

"The devil inside, the devil inside, Every single one of us the devil inside
The devil inside, the devil inside, Every single one of us the devil inside" - INXS

Yes this pretty much sums up how I am feeling today. I suspect a lot of you are in that zone too. Fasten your bondage strap, it's going to be a Hell of a ride!


La La Kent is leaving Vanderpump Rules. Considering she was the only thing interesting on the show I may stop watching. No offense Lisa Vanderpump.

I need to start doing my Christmas cards pronto. It's not that I don't care about family, friends etc., the Holiday season really holds no interest for me.

Kanye West met with Donald Trump. That says it all.

Things you should do this Holiday season, WTF you should do them all the time. Smile at  everyone you see, the response is always amazing.

My friend Jackie Kilmer has had the stomach flu, she says it makes her feel like Linda Blair in the Exorcist. Blech!

"Pat The Puss" - Thank you Erika Jayne for one of my go to phrases that makes me, and several people I know happy throughout the day.

Almighty Isis! I need a housekeeper!

Dear Hollywood Chamber of Commerce - the Walk of Fame is a major tourist attraction, can't you keep that shit clean?! Refer to my image below you bastards. Freddie Mercury is tossing off in his grave. PS - good for him!!!

Dirty Star, Clean Foot

As seen on Shark Tank, I bought a Scrub Daddy sponge that I spied at Ralph's the other day. It's the most awesome sponge ever! You know you are old when a great deal on a kitchen use sponge excites you!

This weekend is my Birthday, the 18th, worship me.

Leah Remini's show on Scientology is a must see! Go Leah!!!

You know your mission this weekend, it's my Birthday, give it to me!

Follow me here:
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/   

Michael's Musings

Naughty Guys Need Love Too
Michael Shinafelt 

Buckle up peeps your in for a bumpy ride with this week's thoughts. Are you ready? OK, let's get to it grab a pussy there's nothing to it...

Disgusting thy name is Donald Trump and the people who voted for him.

Why has no one questioned whether the election was rigged or not? If Hillary had won I am sure the orange bitch baby  would be carrying on instead of stepping down with dignity and class like Clinton did.

They should make a movie about this election and title it: Revenge of the Deplorables.

11/9/2016 Dear Diary, it was 95 degrees or more throughout the Los Angeles area. In the immortal words of Paris Hilton "That's Hot."

Kentucky Muffin, it's a thing, watch Vanderpump Rules if you don't believe me.

They should play the song Tits & Ass from a Chorus Line when Melania Trump makes appearances as First Lady.

Below the line will blow your mind

I will never experience the trauma of couch butt

Sarah Paulson's horrific accent is the scariest thing on this season's American Horror Story "Oh my God!" 

For all you straight men out there who voted for Donald Trump, congratulations you are now going to know what it's like to be f#@ked!

Today I think I will hit Subway, I feel the need to feed on something twelve inches. Sometimes I can be so ambitious. 

Catch you later!

Me on Twitter & Instagram:
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/ 

Shake Your Booty! LaLa Kent "Vanderpump Rules"

My Milkshake Brings All The Boys To The Yard
LaLa Kent

Last season Vanderpump Rules added a new female cast member. Someone enigmatic, pretty & sexy as F-U-C-K! One Ms. LaLa Kent.

Kent quickly became a fan favorite overshadowing, the regular returning cast Kristen Doutie, Stassi Schroeder, Katie Maloney, Scheana Marie & Ariana Madix. Please those women have nothing on Kent she is an entity all unto herself.

LaLa was a breath of fresh air quite different from the usual neurotic & psychotic Sur female employee. She has her feet planted firmly on the ground and knows who the fuck she is. 

So what does the girl with the most cake do? Set herself apart from the pack, as if she already hasn't, by wearing a sheer dress that reveals one of her best ASS - Sets to the season 5 kick off party for the show.

That's code for you could see LaLa's bare bum walking down the red carpet in case you didn't quite get the gist. 

Part of the reason I am drawn to LaLa is she reminds me of myself. How you may ask? Fluff up your pillow and dream on that one. Season 5 of Vanperpump Rules premieres on Bravo tonight! 

LaLa on Social Media:

https://www.instagram.com/lalakent/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/lala_kent
https://www.facebook.com/itslalakent/ 

Michael's Musings

It's Better With A Leather Jacket
Michael Shinafelt

As everyone knows this past Monday was Halloween. I attended the West Hollywood Halloween Carnival and had a blast!

Too bad it's over, time to move on, here are my latest thoughts and opinions...


E-mails, E-mails, E-mails are the new Marsha, Marsha, Marsha

Random Rumblings, a man yelled out: "I won the wet T-shirt contest, motherf#ckers!" the other day while I was walking down the street. You go boy, follow that dream!

Personally I love Lady Gaga's latest Joanne. There I said it.

I can't wait to see who the sole survivor is on this seasons American Horror Story.

Scariest thing this past Halloween? I kept getting notifications via Facebook on my phone about who from my friends list was in West Hollywood at the carnival too!!!

Who'd you rather, Jon Hamm or Matt Bomer?

I have a psychic prediction. All of you have semen in your family. 

New season of Vanderpump Rules starts Monday. I have no rational or intelligent explanation as to why I like this show. Discuss. 

My bad, I was trying to sacrifice you to Satan.

I could have lived my whole life without hearing "I Will Always Love You" karaoke style. Ugh!

I recently joined Instagram, follow me there or on Twitter. Do what your Rice Krispies tell you to damn it!

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt