Michael's Musings

Here I Go Again...
Michael Shinafelt
Photo:
David Pevsner

"Mamma mia, here I go again, My my, how can I resist you? Mamma mia, does it show again, My my, just how much I've missed you?" - Mama Mia, ABBA 

I can't resist you, none of you, thus here I go again. Did you you miss me like I've missed you? Wait for it, don't speak. Let's go again for another edition of Michael's Musings...

Oh, the Emmy Nominations are today - "Yes" I am a well of useless knowledge

That time you accidentally summoned a demon trying to pronounce the name of IKEA furniture

"You can't shit with us." - 2 Mean Girls, 1 Cup - Faith Choyce, Comedian

What about the children???

When your Lesbian Spin Instructor sees you after you shower and change post class "I really like those shorts, they make me look at your package"

Catching David Lynch's Mulholland Drive on July 28th up on the roof @ The Montalban in Hollywood - The more you know.

It will be just like in the movies, we'll pretend to be somebody else

Sometimes you just gotta be anal (take this comment how you want)

Mike Clifford's latest project, a cover of Carole King's "Will You Love Me Tomorrow" has passed the 800 mark in video views! You go Mike!

A shout out to my friend Traci Lords who will be at the Upright Citizens Brigade this Saturday night

Paul Rudd, Paul Rudd, Paul Rudd

According to the National Enquirer Scott Peterson confesses to killing his wife Laci on Death Row - "As if" anyone needed a confession to know that!!!

Amy's Organic Pizza - that is all

Red, red wine... yeah, you heard me

Now it's time to get in formation -
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/mshinafelt?lang=en

Michael's Musings

Proud!
Michael Shinafelt

Happy Pride Month Minions! This weeks column will consist of the gay agenda - you know what we are after, living our lives like everyone else, with equal rights. What a lot we are how dare we as tax paying citizens think that we are entitled to such things.

For the record I am proud to be a part of the tribe. I also know I am not alone in that. Honestly I find other things way more offensive than loving someone of the same sex. Let's try making lecherous comments about your daughter on for size.

So this week we are going to celebrate - with images, quotes and good old fashioned love. Let all those feckless c#unts "Eat Cake."

The Bitch is back, luckily I am not feckless, or a c#nt

Gavin Newsom "Yes!"

"Slavery really ended when Abraham Lincoln outlawed Ambien" - Out Comedian Faith Choyce 

Got Rebel Heart?

Let Love Rule!

This is an image I took for a piece I did on the Marriage Equality Rally in West Hollywood, CA on June 27, 2013. What a beautiful day!.

"More proof that Facebook is bullshit: "The #1 song on the day you were born defines your life".Well, mine was COME TOGETHER.And, I've never even had a 3-way"
 - While I doubt he has never had a three way - Out Comedian, Tony Tripoli

One of my fondest memories was the first Pride Parade I ever went to. It was with my first real boyfriend. That was a huge step for me.

The Los Angeles, CA Gay Pride Celebration is this weekend in West Hollywood, CA 

In this month of Pride I am proud of who I am, what I've been through and where I am going.

I know what guys like

There is a guy, a very special guy...

Wanna know more? Follow me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt                              

Michael's Musings

On Thursdays We Wear Blue Plaid Sleeveless Shirts
Michael Shinafelt

This has been a monster of a week, my schedule has been so hectic that I am going to take a vacation and pack the bags under my eyes. Kidding, maybe, or perhaps not.

Luckily this means I am cutting to the chase, I'm going to do it and do it now!!!


Barry Manilow officially comes out. Whatever, queen please.

Is Kendall Jenner at a protest or a swap meet? I can't tell...

Personally I hate episodes of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills where they are eating caviar. Yes, I am jealous the hunger is real.

Don't call me a c#nt, I lack that kind of depth and warmth

It's a long & nappy road

Hot Pink Satan

Congratulations to my friend Clea Cutthroat the virgin single with her band Hot Pink Satan drops today it's called: H A N D - an interview is coming tomorrow here on Entertain Me, duh!

Also another well deserved kudo to my friend Naama Kates whose film Sorceress will be shown at the White Nights Film Festival in St. Petersburg, Russia this month

In case you didn't know I am the true leader of the Smurfs

Iavanka Trump, Ivanka Trump, Ivanka Trump - say her name three times in a mirror and an ignorant, complicit white woman of privilege will come and sabotage other women's rights.

Quote of the Week: "Toddlers are literally named after how dumb they look when they walk" - Faith Choyce, Comedian

Pony Boy = He's my boy and I ride him

When in doubt, use silly string

Someday my Prick will come, let's hope it's soon, Daddy needs some beauty sleep.

Obey everything I say at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt    

Michael's Musings

Hazy Shade Of Winter
Michael Shinafelt

We are a mere five days into 2017 and no celebrity deaths have occurred. Give it time it's still too soon after the three major ones at the end of 2016.

If only I could give you a juicy bone to gnaw on, but alas there is not too much to say at this premature stage of the NY. Give it some time, there is going to be plenty to rant about, love and be grateful for, soon. 

So here are my meager offerings as of now, drama free and without interruption.

Best thing about New Year's weekend? The Twilight Zone marathon on the SyFy Network. 

Mariah Carey really needs a reality check and to change her first name to Pariah.

Bright Lights: Starring Carrie Fisher & Debbie Reynolds on HBO. Can't wait!

Honestly, if you haven't seen Leah Remini exposing Scientology on her A&E docu-series you haven't lived. Cross my heart.

If you take quotes from Law & Order: SVU out of context, they are really quite funny.

Quote of the Week: "It makes me sad when anyone calls LGBTQ people perverts, because that means they don't know that straight people can have good sex too" - Faith Choyce, Comedian 

BTW the Golden Globes are this Sunday, in case you care. 

Vanderpump Rules
Not So Much Anymore

Is it me or is Vanerpump Rules really fucking staged this season. Transparently so, I have now dubbed the show A Gaggle Of Twats.

Just the other day I was "lucky" enough to board a subway car with a black gentleman bellowing to another how white people disrespect him all the time. Really? You mean you talking shit at the top of your lungs in a public place isn't disrespecting anyone???

Which reminds me I got an PM on Facebook the other day from someone chiding me for the use of #hastags - really. If that is your biggest issue in life go Fuck yourself.

Monkey Mat Mama's, why not I ask you?

"The Best Time of my Life is Now" - Marilyn Monroe

I will leave with the sage words of wisdom from the formidable Ms. Marilyn Monroe. Until next week, yeah, you know what's coming. Ciao!

I Tweet and Instagram at:
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/  

Sh!t Faith Says...!

Faith Choyce

A long time ago in a town known as Los Angeles, CA I went to a comedy show, yeah don't get too excited it doesn't happen that often, that a friend of mine was performing in.

Well what to my wandering eyes did appear but a comedian named Faith Choyce, but damn! Where were the reindeer?!

Faith was the best thing on the bill and I have kept in contact with her ever since. She makes me laugh everyday with her Facebook and Twitter posts, so to entertain and amuse you here is some "Sh!t Faith Says" you have no Choyce!

1) There are some things you should never say out loud to another person, like "I make my own snuff films" or "I don't like chocolate".

2) Hey hipsters! Here's a free baby name for you: Chi-chi, except it's pronounced "Shy Shy". It's glittery, ambiguous, & from the streets.

3) Most male strippers are just paying their way though fireman school.

4) Bacon is like sex; it makes everything more awesome and if you don't like it, it's only because your religion makes you feel weird about it.

5) A great way to not take responsibility for your actions is to scream "I need my insulin!!!" everytime you do something crazy.

6) "Soooo, how's the comedy thing going?" -Horrible question to ask a person in stirrups. #DoctorsWithoutBordersOrBoundaries

7) If Justin Bieber had any fans with upper body strength he'd seriously be able to take over the world.

8) Whoever said "You can't have your cake and eat it too", CLEARLY doesn't understand how cake works.

9) Guys always talk about how they wish they could blow themselves but never mention whether they'd spit or swallow. #AllTalkNoWalk

10) Okay, ladies of the internet, keep pretending that "fiery and passionate" doesn't just mean you're kind of a crazy biznatch.

11) AWESOME GROUPON GUYS, HALF A LIFETIME OF THERAPY FOR ONLY 6 YEARS OF CHILDHOOD MEMORIES. #SharingIsCaring

12) If you think you're young now just remember that in a few years you'll hit on someone who thinks it's really weird you were born in the 1900s.

13) Somewhere, there is an adult working in clear heels whose parents named her Candida. On purpose.

14) When a lesbian runs into an ex and realizes she forgot her name, it's called clamnesia.

15) I had a dream that Shawn was secretly always trying to bang Topanga then my whole childhood came crashing down around me.

You've Gotta Have Faith at:

Website: faithchoyce.com
Twitter: @teamsexydork
Facebook: faith.choyce.1