Michael's Musings

The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of...
Michael Shinafelt

This week one thing really comes to mind: Stay Queer As F#ck! Queer meaning be bold, be individual and most of all be present. This is to all my friends, who break the mold and follow their own paths and to those who I don't know, yet do the same. 

Moving forward...

Free your mind and your ass will follow

You know the world is f#cked when you see a headline giving credibility to Ivanka Trump's thoughts on politics

Own it when you get your tit in a ringer

I'm just a pool boy, from a pool family

My hybrids are better than your hybrids

Two movies I am actually can't wait to see (trust me this is rare) IT & Mother!

And then there's the latest Taylor Swift single...

Headline I Love! Texas Pizza Hut Employees Deliver Free Pizzas by Kayak to Harvey Victims Trapped in Their Homes

Yoga is a helpful thing

Are you a therapist now, wiener man?

I hope American Horror Story: Cult is better than that Roanoke garbage

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Michael's Musings

On Thursdays We Wear Blue Plaid Sleeveless Shirts
Michael Shinafelt

This has been a monster of a week, my schedule has been so hectic that I am going to take a vacation and pack the bags under my eyes. Kidding, maybe, or perhaps not.

Luckily this means I am cutting to the chase, I'm going to do it and do it now!!!


Barry Manilow officially comes out. Whatever, queen please.

Is Kendall Jenner at a protest or a swap meet? I can't tell...

Personally I hate episodes of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills where they are eating caviar. Yes, I am jealous the hunger is real.

Don't call me a c#nt, I lack that kind of depth and warmth

It's a long & nappy road

Hot Pink Satan

Congratulations to my friend Clea Cutthroat the virgin single with her band Hot Pink Satan drops today it's called: H A N D - an interview is coming tomorrow here on Entertain Me, duh!

Also another well deserved kudo to my friend Naama Kates whose film Sorceress will be shown at the White Nights Film Festival in St. Petersburg, Russia this month

In case you didn't know I am the true leader of the Smurfs

Iavanka Trump, Ivanka Trump, Ivanka Trump - say her name three times in a mirror and an ignorant, complicit white woman of privilege will come and sabotage other women's rights.

Quote of the Week: "Toddlers are literally named after how dumb they look when they walk" - Faith Choyce, Comedian

Pony Boy = He's my boy and I ride him

When in doubt, use silly string

Someday my Prick will come, let's hope it's soon, Daddy needs some beauty sleep.

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Michael's Musings

Scruff
Michael Shinafelt

"Shout, shout, let it all out, these are the things I can do without, Come on, I'm talking to you, come on" - Shout, Tears For Fears

It's Springtime for Hitler, and the rest of us, hooray!

You've heard of a monthly visitor, well I have a weekly visitor. Yes, bingo, here it is! That time of the week were I get to say what's on my mind and more than likely what's on a lot of yours as well.

File this one under anger management, time to release the Kraken! That was an example of phrase you would use to define the word euphemism, ready? Let's go crazy!!!!

Erika Jayne's breakdown on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was so staged. How staged was it? It was so staged that the diplomatic and peaceful Eileen Davidson was the gasoline to an already lit fire. With a comment that was so out of character for her to say to anyone, let alone Erika.

Take your life and make it the best story in the world. Don't waste that shit.

A homeless man fist bumped me this past week, and the world keeps turning.

Be someone that makes you happy. That way you can fuck yourself.

Spring has sprung

Ivanka Trump will serve as her father's "eyes and ears" in other words a service dog.

I love Trade Joe's Wasabi Mayonnaise 

Trump Care is like Trump University, except you die.

Since we now know Microwaves are intrusive and pry into your personal business I have named my Eden. After Eden Sassoon on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

My ideal weight is Tom Hardy is on top of me

Apparently my dick has something to do with Katy Perry's latest single. I was as surprised to find this out as you are right now.

TTFN, until next week!

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Michael's Musings

Want Some Candy?
Michael Shinafelt

This week I became acutely aware that my microwave was quietly judging others. Damn! That is pretty motherfucking impressive for something that cost me a mere sixty dollars when I bought it over ten years ago!

Now if only I could get it to print money, hey if it can judge others I bet I can coax it into doing that, riiiiiiiiight?!?!

Hereeeeeeeeeeee's Michael!

Kyle Richards blocked Eden Sassoon on Twitter. I would too, she's so creepy, not to mention she will one day die of a one night stand.

"Fingers are for Lesbians" - The More You Know

Am I the only one who does not get the appeal of This Is Us???

A certain sexy boy who met Bette Davis told me that Susan Sarandon's portrayal of her on Feud is awful, that Susan is playing a character, not Bette at all. As if we all need another reason to think Susan Sarandon is lame. 

Trump supporters are like a white trash Braveheart

Scarlett! Ivanka! Scarlett! Ivanka!

Some idiot blasted me for posting the SNL skit with Scarlett Johansson as Ivanka Trump on my Facebook page. She stated I was a bully. I deleted the comment. Overreact much?

Why does anyone give a rat's ass about The Bachelor? On the plus side it  does make a case for legalized prostitution, which I am for.

Things that make you go shhhhhhh......

I use my small snowblower, it gets the work done - weirdest post I saw on Facebook this week

According to an online quiz I took, I am "Wild Sexy" - Duh!

Sweet Baby Elephant! That one's for you Shani Bayne!

"I wish I was like you, Easily amused" - All Apologies, Nirvana - because you can never have enough Nirvana in your life

My ideas for this column were so much sharper earlier in the day, but I was nowhere near a computer to write. Guess I have to record them on my phone and let people think I am conversing with myself in public...now that's Entertain Me!

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Michael's Musings

Peek-A-Boo, I See U & I Know What U Do
Michael Shinafelt

Once upon a time there was a man who lived in a house of cards...and so the story goes. It's that time of week when I spout word vomit.

This past week brought us a variety of things, such as The Grammy's, Valentine's Day, Fifty Shades Darker and the shit show we all affectionately refer to as Donald Tump.

Wonder what will spew fourth from the corners of my mind this week? Let's find out...

Lady Gaga continues to amaze and show her versatility by teaming up with Metallica and blowing us away by nailing hardcore rock music. I wasn't surprised she could get her head banger on, and frankly I wished she do an album of it.

Thirsty Ivanka is a thing. Apparently Ms. Trump inherited her father's lech gene, I am sure by now you all got a look at the way she drooled when she met Justin Trudeau.

VD was Tuesday, and that of course meant the release of the Fifty Shades of Grey sequel Fifty Shades Darker - a Harlequin Romance for the domestic abuse set.

Let me extrapolate on the domestic abuse comment re: Fifty Shades. Author E.L. James is a terrible writer. I read two paragraphs excerpted online from the first novel and couldn't bear anymore. Not to mention she does not know the first thing about BDSM. Anastasia Steele is an abused woman, end of story.

Dear Pentatonix, please get a new stylist

Fierce! This is How U Red Carpet!
:Lady Gaga

Remember that time when James Hetfield's mic didn't work at The Grammy's? So does everyone else. Really Grammy's?! The whole premise of the fucking award is based on sound, enough said.

AC/DC said it best: "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap"

Toughen up buttercups, it's going to be a wild ride!

Ask yourself this, are you a good little pony worthy of a biscuit?

In case you were wondering, Erika Jayne is my favorite Real Housewife of Beverly Hills. She out classes and sasses them all while giving no fucks.

Enjoy your Thursday, it's the day before Friday after all.

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A Gay, a Muslim and a Jew...

This One's For You Donald Trump!
l-r Gay, Jew, Muslim

Walked into Nordstrom and then hit the White House to give the finger to Donald Trump. Well, they actually did.

In the wake of  Nordstrom dropping Ivanka Trump's line and incurring the wrath of Orange Cosby Chelsea Handler and friends (a Gay and a Muslim) hit the department store with glee and then got photographic evidence of it outside the White House.

Many other celebrities have followed suit tweeting about hitting Nordstrom too, but you know Chelsea she had to outdo them all, and did.

She also tweeted out this gem in retaliation to the Bitch Baby of the United States regarding his Ivanka & Nordstrom tantrum:

"Trump says his daughter has been treated ‘so unfairly’ by Nordstrom. Oh, was she detained for 19 hours when she tried to enter the store?"

Brilliant! Keep them coming Handler! 

Tweet with Chelsea at:
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Michael's Musings

Want To Know What's Behind The Curtain???
Michael Shinafelt
Photo: Jay Jorgensen

This past week has been really boring if you ask me. Hey, my life is pretty stimulating it's the "important" events happening in the world that need to rise to a competent level of intelligence.

OK, there were some bright spots, and many lows. I will try to put some restraints on myself, even though that is usually not my style (I usually do the restraining) and try to limit the negative.

Are you ready boots? Let's start walkin'...

Nordstrom stock went up when they dumped Ivanka Trump's clothing line, made in China. Keeping America great.

I've been such a dick on a broomstick of late aka I've been speaking my mind and taking no shit

While typing a text auto-correct kept changing the word "dildo" into "soldier" - AC has one fucking hell of an imagination!

Lady Gaga totally blew me away at the Superbowl, her performance was brilliant. The most impressive part to me was when she caught the football and jumped with precision timing. Hell, I know I couldn't do that.

Betsy DeVos secured her seat as Secretary of Education. Two things. The first is I am so grateful I did not bring a child into this world, the second? Pink Floyd called it on their song Another Brick in the Wall apparently "We Don't Need No Education" 

Wednesday On Thursday  - I hated everyone before it was mainstream...

Did you know you can find my chat with Traci Lords about her clothing line for Pin-Up Girl on her website? Here is the link: http://www.tracilords.com/press/  our exchange is under the byline "Traci Lords Pin-Up Girl"

I read an article about how crystal dildos can heal your vagina and make it a magical place. Yeah, I know I don't have one, but who could resist that read???

Faye Dunaway & Warren Beatty are presenting the Oscar for Best Picture this year. Now that's gangsta!

Counting down the days until April 18th when the final season of Pretty Little Liars airs and we find out everything. It's the only show I am obsessed with, don't judge me.

For my money Moonlight is the Best Picture of the year.

That's a wrap peeps!

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