Michael's Musings

I Heart You
Michael Shinafelt

"I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks, I've been drawn into your magnetar pit trap trap I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black" - Nirvana "Heart Shaped Box"

Oh hey wait I've got a new complaint, or not. boxes and hearts have been going through my mind of late. I also garnered a new title "Hung Hunk" while I have always been the former, losing 50 lbs. will always give you something extra, thus the added adjective of "Hunk" - "yes" it's time to ruminate, minions.

Me & Madonna have something in common in the photo above. Think about it, but not too much.

That moment when you realize someone named Bazzi has a hit single -WTF?!

Tinsley Mortimer of The Real Housewives of NYC gives women a bad name

I am officially fierce

"Put your hand between your legs and make it hard" - Jessica, Spin Class instructor

This is how you ______ it's blank, fill it in

Kylie Jenner turns 21?! Wow! I thought she was at least 25 already

Moist

Bringing The Real
Denise Richards

Congratulations to Denise Richards on joining the cast of the Real Housewives of BH - That's Hot!

"It's not easy being green" - Kermit The Frog

Current Mood: That's for me to know & you to find out...

Sangria! 

Words of wisdom - Lyft is cheaper than Uber 

They will try to bury us, they didn't know we were seeds of love

Hey beautiful people, time to wake up 

Here it goes again @ -
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/
https://twitter.com/mshinafelt?lang=en

Let's Get Physical, Again...

You Know What I Mean?
Juliana Hatfield

A shout goes to my partner in Real Housewives of Beverly Hills crime Jackie Kilmer for bringing this to my attention. 

What is it that was brought to your attention Michael, you are asking? Juliana Hatfield doing a cover of the Olivia Newton-John smash Physical from her fourth coming groove Juliana Hatfield Sings Olivia Newton-John on April 13th.

In case you don't know it I am a rabid ONJ fan. She was my first girl crush growing up. She was many a gay guys girl crush of a certain age actually, you know that outfit at the end of Grease? Mic drop!

Nothing can ever replace Olivia, but I love, love, love that Hatfield is doing a whole album of covers to one of the undisputed Queens of music.

Get Physical after the jump, or jump and get Physical. The decision is yours.

Juliana on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/julianahatfield/?hl=en

Michael's Musings

Rebel Yell
Michael Shinafelt

In the Reality TV era of which I am a complicit participant, there are many things to consider. One of them should not be the dumbing down of people's minds. Translation: we should get what it's all about and not make it our reality.

Alas that is not true, witness the current state of affairs and who got elected POTUS and why.

Personally I can differentiate the "reality" of media from the realness of life, too bad most people can't. Shall we proceed? 

What a kick Melania Trump had to nudge The Orange Butt Plug of the US to put his hand on his heart during the Pledge Of Allegiance. If she doesn't have her Green Card already, hand her one for this.

Remember there are always going to be Weebles on the rag

Pinata Back Pack!

I fucking love Snapped on the Oxygen Network!

The press has announed that Fleetwood Mac tickets are going to be $800 on their upcoming tour. I love them, but not that much. (luckily I have seen them when ticket prices weren't a mortgage) 

Cheap airfare tip - United Airlines

Andy Cohen, Eileen Davidson & Bunny
Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion part deux - aka bitch better have my bunny!

Pretty Little Liars returned with a vengeance. If you don't like it, well bite me, I do.

Hugs & Kisses to my friend Jackie Kilmer

Roach free water, delightful 

Dildos, instead of rubber bands will be used in spin class today. Not really. One can dream, can't one???

When you wish upon a star, it's worth a try...

Always remember when you annoy someone in an anonymous sort of way, Satan will take care of that.

I'm Hellbent for leather, does that frighten you?

I'm as real as it gets at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Michael's Musings

On Thursdays We Wear Blue Plaid Sleeveless Shirts
Michael Shinafelt

This has been a monster of a week, my schedule has been so hectic that I am going to take a vacation and pack the bags under my eyes. Kidding, maybe, or perhaps not.

Luckily this means I am cutting to the chase, I'm going to do it and do it now!!!


Barry Manilow officially comes out. Whatever, queen please.

Is Kendall Jenner at a protest or a swap meet? I can't tell...

Personally I hate episodes of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills where they are eating caviar. Yes, I am jealous the hunger is real.

Don't call me a c#nt, I lack that kind of depth and warmth

It's a long & nappy road

Hot Pink Satan

Congratulations to my friend Clea Cutthroat the virgin single with her band Hot Pink Satan drops today it's called: H A N D - an interview is coming tomorrow here on Entertain Me, duh!

Also another well deserved kudo to my friend Naama Kates whose film Sorceress will be shown at the White Nights Film Festival in St. Petersburg, Russia this month

In case you didn't know I am the true leader of the Smurfs

Iavanka Trump, Ivanka Trump, Ivanka Trump - say her name three times in a mirror and an ignorant, complicit white woman of privilege will come and sabotage other women's rights.

Quote of the Week: "Toddlers are literally named after how dumb they look when they walk" - Faith Choyce, Comedian

Pony Boy = He's my boy and I ride him

When in doubt, use silly string

Someday my Prick will come, let's hope it's soon, Daddy needs some beauty sleep.

Obey everything I say at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt    

Michael's Musings

Scruff
Michael Shinafelt

"Shout, shout, let it all out, these are the things I can do without, Come on, I'm talking to you, come on" - Shout, Tears For Fears

It's Springtime for Hitler, and the rest of us, hooray!

You've heard of a monthly visitor, well I have a weekly visitor. Yes, bingo, here it is! That time of the week were I get to say what's on my mind and more than likely what's on a lot of yours as well.

File this one under anger management, time to release the Kraken! That was an example of phrase you would use to define the word euphemism, ready? Let's go crazy!!!!

Erika Jayne's breakdown on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was so staged. How staged was it? It was so staged that the diplomatic and peaceful Eileen Davidson was the gasoline to an already lit fire. With a comment that was so out of character for her to say to anyone, let alone Erika.

Take your life and make it the best story in the world. Don't waste that shit.

A homeless man fist bumped me this past week, and the world keeps turning.

Be someone that makes you happy. That way you can fuck yourself.

Spring has sprung

Ivanka Trump will serve as her father's "eyes and ears" in other words a service dog.

I love Trade Joe's Wasabi Mayonnaise 

Trump Care is like Trump University, except you die.

Since we now know Microwaves are intrusive and pry into your personal business I have named my Eden. After Eden Sassoon on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

My ideal weight is Tom Hardy is on top of me

Apparently my dick has something to do with Katy Perry's latest single. I was as surprised to find this out as you are right now.

TTFN, until next week!

Follow me on the WWW at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en

https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Zero F#@ks Given - Lisa Rinna

Not Giving A F#@k
Lisa Rinna

Whatever your take on Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Lisa Rinna is, I think we can all  agree on one thing, the woman has chutzpah! 

Recently during some down time in her hotel room Rinna decided to take a nude selfie and post it on Instagram. Then she had second thoughts and took it down, then she did what Lisa does, put it back up with the caption:

“It’s back, I got scared then I said I’m 53 — zero f--ks given! Cheers to @playboy for going back to nudes. The female body is so beautiful, every size and every age. Be proud! #thefemalebodyisbeautiful #allshapesandsizes #loveyourself #loveyourbody.”

Yes, Lisa is 53 and she looks amazing, quite inspiring I must say. If this is what putting Xanax in your smoothies does I'm going to start that regime pronto!

It's Tuesday, and aren't you happy?!

Lisa on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/lisarinna/?hl=en  

Michael's Musings

Peek-A-Boo, I See U & I Know What U Do
Michael Shinafelt

Once upon a time there was a man who lived in a house of cards...and so the story goes. It's that time of week when I spout word vomit.

This past week brought us a variety of things, such as The Grammy's, Valentine's Day, Fifty Shades Darker and the shit show we all affectionately refer to as Donald Tump.

Wonder what will spew fourth from the corners of my mind this week? Let's find out...

Lady Gaga continues to amaze and show her versatility by teaming up with Metallica and blowing us away by nailing hardcore rock music. I wasn't surprised she could get her head banger on, and frankly I wished she do an album of it.

Thirsty Ivanka is a thing. Apparently Ms. Trump inherited her father's lech gene, I am sure by now you all got a look at the way she drooled when she met Justin Trudeau.

VD was Tuesday, and that of course meant the release of the Fifty Shades of Grey sequel Fifty Shades Darker - a Harlequin Romance for the domestic abuse set.

Let me extrapolate on the domestic abuse comment re: Fifty Shades. Author E.L. James is a terrible writer. I read two paragraphs excerpted online from the first novel and couldn't bear anymore. Not to mention she does not know the first thing about BDSM. Anastasia Steele is an abused woman, end of story.

Dear Pentatonix, please get a new stylist

Fierce! This is How U Red Carpet!
:Lady Gaga

Remember that time when James Hetfield's mic didn't work at The Grammy's? So does everyone else. Really Grammy's?! The whole premise of the fucking award is based on sound, enough said.

AC/DC said it best: "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap"

Toughen up buttercups, it's going to be a wild ride!

Ask yourself this, are you a good little pony worthy of a biscuit?

In case you were wondering, Erika Jayne is my favorite Real Housewife of Beverly Hills. She out classes and sasses them all while giving no fucks.

Enjoy your Thursday, it's the day before Friday after all.

Join me on the Internet at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/mshinafelt?lang=en  

Did You Miss Us?

It's Party Time!
Kyle Richards & Lisa Vanderpump

In case any of you out there are having some Real Housewives of Beverly Hills yearning, like me, until the season six December 1st premiere on Bravo. Never fear Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle Richards are here!

The two were red as Rosea Wine while attending a party in  Puerto Vallarta, Mexico together. Guess they really have kissed in make-up.

The photo is courtesy of Ms. Richard's Instagram, with no clever caption to accompany it. C'mon Kyle with your sass I expected more from you!

Being that it is Friday and that the weekend is here I thought this was a groovy way to get the party started!

T.G.I.F!

Kyle on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/kylerichards18/?hl=en 

"How Many F#@ks" It's Hump Day

Give A Suck, Not A F#@k!
Erika Jayne

While I know everyone beat me to posting the new Erika Jayne video, with whips & chains, yesterday. I felt however "Hump Day" was the perfect time to post a video for a song titled "How Many F#@ks."

Erika Jayne has been around for a spell in the music world, she is especially known among gay men ( she was named Queen of this year's White Party in Palm Springs after all.) Being on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has given her singing career a HUGE boost! Watching the show it is obvious as to why...

Who wouldn't want a loyal, smart, tough, sexy, sassy broad to call their own as a fierce friend?! 

Like she tells it: "Everyone needs a little Erika Jayne in their lives." 

Ya know what? I think she's on to something with that. Erika Jayne embodies the bad girl/boy in us all. The things we want to say and do, but don't act upon publicly she does.

Her latest song definitely strikes a raw nerve on something that we all want to parade around proclaiming loudly and in public, but for obvious reasons the sentiment is kept private.

I know I am feeling this catchy little number in 4,3,2...1!!!

                                                             How Many F#@ks


Give Zero F#@cks With Erika at:
http://erikajayne.com/           

Brandi Glanville Stifled

Brandi Glanville: Muzzle is the New Black 

It's a dirty job but somebody had to do it. Unfiltered Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Brandi Glanville is out of season six.

She is not leaving on her own volition, Bravo did the deed. 

This being the only Housewives show I indulge in gives me free reign to comment. While Brandi brought drama to the show, what she did was for the most part jeopardized people with her reckless non-caring attitude. 

Put simply she was downright mean for no apparent reason, toxic. Her antics on season five made me quite uncomfortable.

Rumor has it that Brandi is upset but she understands and is grateful for the opportunity.

Guess it's back to bashing your ex-husband Eddie Cibrian and his new wife Leann Rimes.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out girl!

Go Beverly Hills at: http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills

Kim Richards Out

Get Well Kim

Kim Richards is no longer a regular on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. 

She may make a cameo or two, but...while I could be snide about this I choose not to. Leave that to people who have no lives.

This actually makes me sad. I grew up with Kim, she was in one of my favorite films of all time Escape to Witch Mountain.

Let's not berate her for her transgressions. How about sending out some love in hope she gets her life back together.

Kim on IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001668/?ref_=fn_nm_nm_1

Ladies Who Lunch: Lady Gaga & Lisa Vanderpump

Vanderpump Rules & Is Gaga For The Lady
Photo: 17 Online

People were doing double takes this past Friday, April 17th, when Lady Gaga dined with Lisa Vanderpump and the Real Housewives restaurant PUMP in West Hollywood, CA -

Gaga's Mom & manager also joined them.  Fans of Gaga and her music, which apparently Lisa is, will recall that Vanderpump and some of her Real Housewives of Beverly Hills co-stars appeared in the video for Lady Gaga's song "G.U.Y." from her Art Pop album.

Here is what Lisa V. Tweeted about the evening:

"Cosy dinner @ladygaga ...At PUMP ...woman after my own heart #lgbt #dogcrazy."

Wouldn't you want to be a fly on the wall at that table?

Dine with the women on Twitter at:

Gaga: https://twitter.com/ladygaga
Vanderpump: https://twitter.com/lisavanderpump

Faye, Connie, My Sister, My Daughter

Connie Britton: I'm Faye!

We go together like Connie Britton & Faye Resnick, huh? 

Yes, it's true Connie Britton & Ryan Murphy are reuniting, and it feels so good. 

Connie as you American Horror Story fans know was in it's virgin season: Murder House, the current star of Nashville will portray Faye Resnick, who Camille Grammer notoriously described as: "The morally corrupt Faye Resnick," on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. 

Britton will get her moral corruption on the freshman season of Murphy's American Crime Story: The People v O.J. Simpson.

As you may recall, Resnick was OJ's slain wife Nicole Brown Simpson's friend. 

OJ was acquitted - and the killer has never been found...go figure.

Connie on IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0110168/?ref_=fn_nm_nm_1

Kim Richards "Revenge" This Sunday

Watch Your Back Hamptons, It's Kim Richards!

Revenge is one of the most uneven, frustrating shows I have ever followed. Every season contains good episodes and bad ones, the week to week quality of the show is like a game of darts sometimes it hits sometimes, OK most of the time, it misses.

The last two weeks episodes have left me underwhelmed. Yet I continue to watch and there is added incentive this Sunday as one of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Kim Richards guest stars.

Richards is what drew me to watch RHOBH in the first place as she was a child star when I was growing up. She starred in one of my fave Disney films ever Escape to Witch Mountain. So there!

Obviously Revenge felt the need to call in a drama pro for some extra trouble and Kim is a perfect choice to do just that!

Richards will be playing Stephanie, a society lady and friend of Victoria's (Madeleine Stowe), who is a member of Nolan's (Gabriel Mann) Southampton Beach Club. 

Will Stephanie will be carrying some secrets in her purse? Do you really need to ask? She and her friend Heather each have a secret or three and they're willing to pay good money to keep them on the down low.

So Revenge you have managed to rope me in for one more Sunday by choosing a cleverly well cast guest star. Guess who will be back for more? Yep, me, it's a no brainer. 

Get your Revenge at: https://www.facebook.com/RevengeABC