Back To The Hills

T.G.I.F. Minions! Well as everyone knows by now Denise Richards is returning to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

While there are some of you (I don't know you) that are not pleased about this, I for one am.

Denise was the breath of fresh air the show needed the first season she was on, that's why she got dragged the second one. Jealousy is an ugly thing, and Rinna (the Queen of Dragging Housewives) did not her stealing her thunder, thus she hopped on her broomstick and did her thing.

I also think it's great that Lisa Rinna is off the show, it will give Denise a lot more room to breathe and reclaim her first season bad self.

Yeah, I agree with what Garcelle is saying...

RHOBH on the WWW -

https://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills

Michael's Musings

I'm Alive, So Alive...
Michael Shinafelt

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than be loved for who I am not" - Kurt Cobain 

Today would have been Kurt Cobain's 53 Birthday. "Yes" I am a Nirvana fan. It took me a while to get on board, but when I did I was hooked. Translation: when I actually took the time to really listen to their music, rather than sort of engage, I then discovered it's brilliance.

I'm glad that I'm still around to enjoy them, time to sound off minions!

FYI - I possess he gift of creative revenge when I'm very angry

Today I am thankful for the Foo Fighters, because I have never been threatened by a Foo. That means they are doing their job 😃

Gently kiss the light

A friend asked if I think the Denise Richards/Brandi Glanville hook-up on the upcoming season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is a story that was done for ratings. My Magic 8 Ball says "Most Definitely"

Plant your flag in my mouth...

What if one day your dog said "Nobody is ever going to believe you" and then never spoke again???

Make lying wrong again

No matter your candidate of choice I think we can agree that the world needs more eggplants 

Woman Crush of the Week - Cindy Crawford...Just Because...

You want to show that special someone the very depths of your soul, but your competition has cocaine and Metallica tickets, discuss

Christian Bale just ran naked through my mind

For your safety & protection there will be a five minute blackout

I wonder what the guy who was punching the back of the airplane seat is doing right now?

Does anyone remember Ring Around The Rosie?

Join me in the second circle of  Hell at:
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Michael's Musings

TBT: Life Is A Mystery
Michael Shinafelt

I recently arrived back home to Los Angeles after a groovy Thanksgiving spent with my family in Washington state. I got myself back to my roots and nature. Meaning "Yes" I went into the woods to visit my sister's cabin and bared witness to an amazing waterfall that I didn't chase.

Aren't I puny??? I thought so, time to do a 360 if you know what I mean. I'm guessing you do...

Wanna see me do a cartwheel? Asking for a friend.

There's a thing called ASCD (Attention Seeking C#nt Disorder) all of of us know someone who has it. I know the cure, ask me. 

Thus grant me hedgehog

Why hasn't someone patented the "Who Farted Sneer?"

"All of your missing socks are down here" - Satan 

I just wanna hear a good beat. It's the secret to life.

Just Because - Firemen have hoses

PSA: high fructose corn syrup is not an excuse for deranged behavior

Woman Crush of the Week - Kamala Harris brains, beauty, a potential Vice President slot. What's not to like?

Want an all day sucker? I've got one

Currently trending on Twitter: #TrumpIsALaughingStock DUH!

I want to be Denise Richards husband Aaron Phypers underwear

You had me fooled. You played a low rent whore like you were born into it

All men are the same you say? Well who told you to try all of them I ask???

Give it a name with me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Michael's Musings

The Twins
Michael Shinafelt

With all the BS going on in the world, Georgia and it's almost complete abolishment of abortion rights is currently public enemy number one. After all what does number two do? So I thought it was time to break out my twins and throw my support behind a woman's right to choose.

OK, I am breaking them out metaphorically, because if I broke them out literally, well then the censors who run my forum on the WWW would certainly gun for me too. "Yes" it's a mad, mad, mad world and we are living in it. 

FYI: I'm Pro-Choice, I'm also Pro people choosing their own pizza toppings

Unicorns come from a magical place, the land of a thousand horns

Incels, discuss...

I'm just mashing your taters

May I introduce you to Grumpy Bear? He was recently kicked to the curb by Angry Pup

Last night's season finale of Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists was off the hook!

"Even a hooker deserves to have Thanksgiving dinner" - Denise Richards RHOBH

The Pounder is real, not to be confused with The Seether 

Preach Traci Lords! 

Satan says wipe your nose. Satan is your friend.

Caught Margaret Cho @ Largo this past Monday. Good times!

Things I will call you a whore for - eating my food

Crispy Calamari 

Immersed myself in the I Like Scary Movies experience - thus the photo op of  "The Twins" and myself via The Shining portion of it. A total blast!

Hit me with your best shot at:
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Michael's Musings

Join Me?
Michael's Musings

Mueller, Muller, Muller that's all I ever hear, so let's take a sabbatical with Michael, Michael, Michael - You know you want it minions, it's time...

Who is this milk-bull, and how can I trap him in my esophagus?

Denise Richards on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is my spirit animal!

How fast do you think Meghan Markle doffed her high heels after the photo of her Prince Harry and Archie was clicked? Ouch!

Seriously, it only takes thirty seconds?

Am I the only one who thought Tinsley Mortimer's ringmaster get up on The Real Housewives of New York was so Baby Jane Hudson?

Trader Joe's organic Flaxseed, two tablespoons every morning, the more you know

Booze, it's a family affair

Spitters suck, think about it, but not too much

Archie & Sabrina
KJ Apa & Kiernan Shipka

“me & the royal baby. congrats meghan & harry!” - Kiernan Shipka

People will stare, make it worth their while

Caught a screening of the great film Wild Things with my spirit animal Denise Richards in it on the rooftop of The Montalban in Hollywood last night - "F#ck Off!"

Witches who paddle board, discuss

Marie Osmond is joining The Talk I may actually DVR an episode now, yeah I've never seen it

Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you

I have a head for business and a bod for sin, so follow me at:
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Michael's Musings

Look Closer
Michael Shinafelt

Many of my friends who are fans of the show The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills have posed this question to me since episode one: "Why is Denise Richards on the show?" 

Then a along came Penis-gate, and her giving zero F#cks attitude about her wedding to Aaron Phypers. That's correct minions Denise is on the show to make the rest of the women look trivial and annoying IMHO. Denise is there to teach them, not to mention the rest of us, life is too short to accentuate the negative have fun and let the good times roll! So, what are we waiting for, time to roll and rock...!!!

Life is a parade of absurdities and pain, and then we die, alone, in filth. So, yes, little girl I shall buy a box of Thin Mints.

That time in spin class when my Whore and my Toy didn't show. That's correct I was a Toyless Whore 😟

Check your panda 

According to an online game my Metal Band name is: Crucified C#nt Muffin Witch

Need proof Karma exists? I present you Wendy Williams

I know tongue talk

Cherry's my favorite

What's up hoes?

Drive by Lesbian moment, discuss

Colin Farrell, Colin Farrell, Colin Farrell

Put a little lust in your heart 

I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a _______ fill in that blank, I dare ya!

Dumbo opens tomorrow 

The Ides of March are winding down 

Spring forward with me to April won't you at:
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Michael's Musings

Take On Me
Michael Shinafelt

"We're talking away, I don't know what, I'm to say I'll say it anyway, Today's another day to find you shying away, I'll be coming for your love, okay?" Take On Me, A-ha

That's correct minions I'm coming for you, perhaps not necessarily your love, but something along those lines. Maybe your attention, or your soul, ya know the same old, same old. Wanna get the 411? What's new pussycat? You'll find out, trust moi.

Join me in the Ritual of the Spooge Nuns, won't you?

"My vagina is a fashionista too" - Stassi Schroeder, Vanderpump Rules

FYI I just took and ovulation test and didn't pass

They're watching you, I'm not...

Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists premiered last night - Beacon Heights is where I will be every Wednesday for it's initial 10 episode run. "Yes" that means I loved it.

FML $2 Filet-O-Fish Friday is back at McDonald's 

And now a word from my nether region

Never trust anyone who spells Gonorrhea right on the first try

Fact of the Day: Serial Killers never cooperate unless they have no other options

A shout out to Denise Richards for her classic TMI moment on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this week, fabulous!!!

Every time you see a rainbow...

False Alarm hey, hey, hey, hey!

I wanna be your dog, I also wanna be adored

Mmmmmmmm...salty

Now's the time to sign language off, join me on Social Media won't you?

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Michael's Musings

I Heart You
Michael Shinafelt

"I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks, I've been drawn into your magnetar pit trap trap I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black" - Nirvana "Heart Shaped Box"

Oh hey wait I've got a new complaint, or not. boxes and hearts have been going through my mind of late. I also garnered a new title "Hung Hunk" while I have always been the former, losing 50 lbs. will always give you something extra, thus the added adjective of "Hunk" - "yes" it's time to ruminate, minions.

Me & Madonna have something in common in the photo above. Think about it, but not too much.

That moment when you realize someone named Bazzi has a hit single -WTF?!

Tinsley Mortimer of The Real Housewives of NYC gives women a bad name

I am officially fierce

"Put your hand between your legs and make it hard" - Jessica, Spin Class instructor

This is how you ______ it's blank, fill it in

Kylie Jenner turns 21?! Wow! I thought she was at least 25 already

Moist

Bringing The Real
Denise Richards

Congratulations to Denise Richards on joining the cast of the Real Housewives of BH - That's Hot!

"It's not easy being green" - Kermit The Frog

Current Mood: That's for me to know & you to find out...

Sangria! 

Words of wisdom - Lyft is cheaper than Uber 

They will try to bury us, they didn't know we were seeds of love

Hey beautiful people, time to wake up 

Here it goes again @ -
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https://twitter.com/mshinafelt?lang=en