Michael's Musings

Michael Shinafelt

"You need to just stop
Like can you just not step on my gown?You need to calm down" - You Need To Calm Down, Taylor Swift

While I understand there are many things to give one pause in the world today, let's keep them in perspective. "Yes" there are some things that should anger/upset/disturb you. Then there's things that the Karen's of the world get mad at.

PS you know who you are and what I'm am addressing, uh-huh, I'm gonna leave that here. Moving on Minions...

Hey Police, my 81 year old Mom has been practicing her falling skills FYI

Doesn't anyone watch Sesame Street anymore?!

There's a sucker born every minute, swallowers are harder to find - The more you know

If you could cure COVID19 by sacrificing just one human, who would it be and why did you choose Trump?

Dear Stassi Schroeder and Kristen Doute - WTF were you thinking?! Honestly I am surprised this took two years to come out. Neither of you can blame it on your youth either. How entitled of both of you to think you could call the cops on anyone for a crime they did not commit just because you were mad at them for cheating on a friend of yours. Let alone doing it to a Black Woman...Wow, just wow!

The Battle: Impulse for connection v Impulse for the greater good 

Holy Mother of Dachshunds!

Hello, My Tricks (make of it what you will, or not)

Woman Crush of the Week - Judy Garland who would have been 98 yesterday. Why? Because it's Pride Month and her performance in A Star Is Born is nothing short of brilliant!

The Confederate Flag is a symbol of slavery, racism and oppression, but it’s also a symbol of losers getting their ass kicked, just sayin'

Trivia: Who was the last person to disband the Police? Answer: Sting

Ever wonder while kicking it: Where's the lightning bolt?

Now serving candy for breakfast

It's always great to have the comfort of Law and Order: SVU reruns during these times

Come see what else I'm watching at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

Electric Dreams
Michael Shinafelt

"It's too bad that all these things, Can only happen in my dreams
Only in dreams, in beautiful dreams" In Dreams, Roy Orbison 

With all the static swirling around us in this mad, mad world it's nice to know we all have dreams. Dreams are a beautiful thing, never lose sight of yours. Unless of course that dream becomes a nightmare. When that happens you click your eyelids together three times and say "This is Bullsh!t time to wake up!"

I have no time to do anything, yet somehow I am always caught up on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (which, thankfully wrapped it's season this week)

Once when I looked at your Instagram feed I put a ______ in my _______ . Oh yeah, it's time to fill in those blanks minions.

It's time to break out the Pringles

How about those Democratic Debates? Answer me, how about them?

Stassi Schroeder & Beau Clark from Vanderpump Rules are engaged. OMG, I think my insomnia is now over!

The person next to me reeks of weed. I'm a good person I can't understand why this is happening.

Shout out to Shay Mitchell of Pretty Little Liars, she has a Baby On Board

Guy Crush of the Week - Zac Efron (don't judge me)

If I ever find out you don't vote, that's a wrap on our friendship 

The worms crawl in, sometimes they crawl out

Pack your suitcase full of lies & hit the road Jack, Tom, Dick or Harry...
Whoever the flip you are...

I can not unsee this, Ali Spagnola celebrating Shark Week

Mormon Psychics receive messages through their hair

Your are hereby to be referred to as Canasta 

Going My Way? at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Michael's Musings

Take On Me
Michael Shinafelt

"We're talking away, I don't know what, I'm to say I'll say it anyway, Today's another day to find you shying away, I'll be coming for your love, okay?" Take On Me, A-ha

That's correct minions I'm coming for you, perhaps not necessarily your love, but something along those lines. Maybe your attention, or your soul, ya know the same old, same old. Wanna get the 411? What's new pussycat? You'll find out, trust moi.

Join me in the Ritual of the Spooge Nuns, won't you?

"My vagina is a fashionista too" - Stassi Schroeder, Vanderpump Rules

FYI I just took and ovulation test and didn't pass

They're watching you, I'm not...

Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists premiered last night - Beacon Heights is where I will be every Wednesday for it's initial 10 episode run. "Yes" that means I loved it.

FML $2 Filet-O-Fish Friday is back at McDonald's 

And now a word from my nether region

Never trust anyone who spells Gonorrhea right on the first try

Fact of the Day: Serial Killers never cooperate unless they have no other options

A shout out to Denise Richards for her classic TMI moment on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this week, fabulous!!!

Every time you see a rainbow...

False Alarm hey, hey, hey, hey!

I wanna be your dog, I also wanna be adored

Mmmmmmmm...salty

Now's the time to sign language off, join me on Social Media won't you?

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en

https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Michael's Musings

Nerdy Guys Need Love Too...
Michael Shinafelt

"I feel this moment is something unusual,(Here with me)" - Ariel Beesley, Slower Than Usual 

Sometimes life does not go at the pace we want. But you know what, you have to accept it. 

I've lost a mere 25 lbs. I would have liked to have shed more by now, but...

Use your instincts and trust that you are on the right path, for yourself.

Time to get busy!

Is there anything better than a?  _____ the blank is yours to fill in

Why are there so many songs about rainbows? WTF? I don't know!

Imagine something big is gonna happen

Once upon a time there was a reproductive abuser

Did you hear? The new season of Dancing With The Stars is going to be athletes, no "stars" - whatever

The Joan Crawford of yoga is in my ayem class at Gold's Gym Hollywood. "Yes" it's obnoxious as it sounds.

Can we talk about Stassi Schroeder's BF Patrick on Vanderpump Rules? Obnoxious, not to mention disturbing

To my buddy Jay Jacobson. Enjoying your Travelogue pics of your trip to Vietnam 

Don't Speak 

When you are not tired enough to sit, kneel

Shout out to the Black Panther cast, you're number one! 


You say Dorit, I say Dorito 

My niece Shauna Waters is moving to Arizona this summer...Yay!

To everyone fighting the good fight, keep it up!

You know how to go slower than usual, just put your lips together and...with me at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Shake Your Booty! LaLa Kent "Vanderpump Rules"

My Milkshake Brings All The Boys To The Yard
LaLa Kent

Last season Vanderpump Rules added a new female cast member. Someone enigmatic, pretty & sexy as F-U-C-K! One Ms. LaLa Kent.

Kent quickly became a fan favorite overshadowing, the regular returning cast Kristen Doutie, Stassi Schroeder, Katie Maloney, Scheana Marie & Ariana Madix. Please those women have nothing on Kent she is an entity all unto herself.

LaLa was a breath of fresh air quite different from the usual neurotic & psychotic Sur female employee. She has her feet planted firmly on the ground and knows who the fuck she is. 

So what does the girl with the most cake do? Set herself apart from the pack, as if she already hasn't, by wearing a sheer dress that reveals one of her best ASS - Sets to the season 5 kick off party for the show.

That's code for you could see LaLa's bare bum walking down the red carpet in case you didn't quite get the gist. 

Part of the reason I am drawn to LaLa is she reminds me of myself. How you may ask? Fluff up your pillow and dream on that one. Season 5 of Vanperpump Rules premieres on Bravo tonight! 

LaLa on Social Media:

https://www.instagram.com/lalakent/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/lala_kent
https://www.facebook.com/itslalakent/