Let's Do Lunch

Lunch Time!
Lisa Vanderpump & Lance Bass

"Yes" let's do lunch is quite the catch phrase here in Los Angeles. We biz types say it all the time, but do we actually follow through? Of course we do! It's lunch damn it! arguably the most important meal of the day.

Breakfast is a close second, and if you forgo dinner you will lose weight and boost your metabolism. So there!

Well here are the poster peeps for "Doing Lunch" Queen Lisa Vanderpump and Little Prince Lance Bass hitting the table in Beverly Hills. 

These two are quite tight, as well documented in the media. I wonder what they exchange sound bites about? Hmmmmmmm...I bet it's sorta kinda pretty interesting on the inside, but is it from the back?

Think about it, but not too much - "Do Lunch" in lieu of a charitable donation to your favorite bar.

Plate Break!

LVP on IG -
https://www.instagram.com/lisavanderpump/?hl=en

Lance in IG -
https://www.instagram.com/lancebass/?hl=en  

Current Mood

Can't Fight This Feeling!
Lisa Rinna 

This photo of Lisa Rinna motoring to a yoga class with a T-Shirt slogan that reads "Good Vibes" is my post Labor Day Current Mood.

I feel very zen at present as I sit at the computer in the home stretch of my recovery from surgery. 

Lisa is currently embroiled in shooting Season 10 of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. We shall see how the show does post the hemorrhaging of ruling Queen Bee, the other Lisa, Lisa Vanderpump. 

They've added two newcomers instead of one to replace LVP, Garcelle Beauvis & Rinna friend and ally Sutton Stracke. Which is leading to speculation that Erika Jayne may be out this season or demoted to friend of the show via a recent cast announcement for the upcoming season minus her name.

Oh the drama! Season 10 has barely begun shooting and woot there it is! 

Honestly I'll take a yoga mat and some "Good Vibes" over drama any day.

Namaste.

"Good Vibes" on Dictionary.com -
https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/good-vibes/  

Michael's Musings

Twins?
Michael Shinafelt

Communication is weighing heavily on my mind of late, especially in relation to Doctors. Seriously why are they so vague with me, the patient when I have not one clue as to what is going down? I ask you, oh that's correct I bet you don't have the answer either, moving on up, or down depending on your perspective...

Spied a Latin Man sweeping the sidewalk in front of a church the other day with a T-Shirt that said "Jesus" on it, wasn't sure if it was a religious reference or not

And now for some Fembot action!!!

Salsa Cleanse, discuss

One day someone will light your hair on fire over a Kit Kat bar

You flooze, you lose

Rumor has it Kathy Hilton, Kyle Richards sister may be joining the cast of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills to fill the Lisa Vanderpump void, yaaaaaaaawn!

I'm not in school anymore so stop testing me

Feel Good Headline of the Week: "House panel unanimously passes 9/11 victims fund bill after Jon Stewart shaming"

My Little Pony is introducing a Lesbian character, a horse of a different color 

Just Because this image made me smile, Mariska Hargitay & her husband Peter Hermann

There's only one dick I can't handle: Donald Trump

Wine Wankers, I'll simply leave that one here

How come you never see countries with universal health care trying to repeal it? Guess it works or something, ya think?!

Elevate the F#cking conversation

Join me, won't you? -
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

Giving Cattitude
Michael Shinafelt  

"So-so, so don't fuck with my freedom, I came back to get me some, I'm nasty, I'm evil" - Mother's Daughter, Miley Cyrus 

It's Pride Weekend in Los Angeles, CA, really not sure if I will be attending or not. But I still believe we need it more than ever. This week's edition is going to be a hybrid by Queer ally and amazing artist Miley Cyrus and Myself. I am currently obsessed with her latest EP She Is Coming, which is first and foremost pro everything I stand for. 

You are in for the most "extra" musings of your ass. "Yes" I have Pride & Cattitude...meow to the mix!!! 

This F#g is in heat, let me ride that beat! Beat it, just beat it! 

Who gives a F#ck if they call you a slut? Yeah, do you really care? Well you shouldn't

Going electric leads to way cleaner ______ fill in that Pride blank

One of my most fond Pride memories? Marching with Ken Phillips alongside Margaret Cho in the Los Angeles parade tossing off swag.

Hallelujah We're all freaks, yes! 

Lisa Vanderpump

Once I met the indomitable Lisa Vanderpump  backstage @ Gay Pride, she is as cool as they come.

Do I suck D!ck? You ain't seen sh!t

I love my pussy that means I've got Cattitude 

Why do you gotta be so MotherF#cking extra? Asking for a friend...

Miley Cyrus

Don't let anyone keep you down Miley Cyrus! 

Back-up, back-up, back-up boy. "Yeah" U know who you are -

I'm not obscene, your hypocrisy is 

OMG, what would happen if SHE got the power??? The world would be a better place.

You all are the moon, the stars & special 

It's time for a revolution, join me -
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

(Cock)tails in Vega$

Would You Like A (Cock)tail?
Lisa Vanderpump & The Chippendales Dancers 

With all of the buzz about tonight's episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, you know the one where Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle Richards have a screaming match and Lisa's husband Ken joins the chorus. I thought a happy image of Lisa Vanderpump was in order today. The woman has been through a lot this past year people cut her some slack!

It's no surprise that Vanderpump is quite happy at the opening of her latest venture Vanderpump Cocktail Garden in Vega$ being as she certainly is surrounded by some cock & tail. "Yes" Lisa V. is flanked by Chippendales Dancers. You know those guys who strip, can I get an Hallelujah and a fist bump? Of course I can!

Not only that, but the fact that it's home is the world famous Caesar's Palace also must be putting some pep in her step.

Cheers to a diamonds and rose' sort of day, the calm before tonight's RHOBH sh!t storm if you will. "Yes" we will and thank you very much, Michael has left the building -

Vanderpump Cocktail Garden on IG -
https://www.instagram.com/vanderpumpvegas/  

Michael's Musings

Totally Different Head
Michael Shinafelt

Happy March minions! You know what, I sort of kind of dig the month of March, for one thing it's the return of Daylight Savings Time. But mainly because of it's name - March.

March into the future, March with confidence and of course March to the beat of your own drummer.

So let's March on shall we and kick off the month by Marching to the beat of our own drummer with this quote as our mantra:

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

R.I.P. Luke Perry aka Dylan McKay

Happy Thursday from Satan's Laughing Camel

BTW I make fresh goat cheese and help people find love

Yeah, whatever, I am prepared for that eventuality 

Does your cat vomit?

Team Vanderpump!

I can convince small children that I am a witch 

Nothing like a good ______ you know you want one....

My favorite Bitches are back! The Real Housewives of New York City 

Today is National Cereal Day - do what your Rice Krispies tell you to

Wake up and smell the drill bits!

Sorry to hear the news about Alex Trebek

"Somewhere beyond right and wrong there is a garden. I will meet you there." - Rumi

Join me in my garden at -
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

It's Raining RHOBH

United Front
Kyle Richards, Teddi Mellencamp, Lisa Rinna & Dorit Kemsley

It's raining again today in La La Land, literally. It is also raining Real Housewives of the Beverly Hills variety.

In a season that is clearly on of the best of the show, number 9 to be exact, is knocking the proverbial sh!t hitting the fan out of the park!

In a clearly divisive season where Queen Bee Lisa Vanderpump is in the process of losing her throne as everyone is against her for her manipulative ways. Trust me she is - this is juicy stuff week after week.

While I know these shows are produced there is truth to the actual situations. Case in point? Bear witness to Kyle Richards, Teddi Mellencamp, Lisa Rinna & Dorit Kemsley hitting Craig's in West Hollywood.

These women joined forces against the Lisa Vanderpump in this past weeks episode and it's obviously their way of saying LVP is going to be taken down, wait for it...it's not going to happen now, I said wait for it. I know you will.

Stay dry minions!!!

RHOBH on the WWW -
https://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills

Michael's Musings

Take On Me???
Michael Shinafelt

You know the old adage "Don't poke the bear?" Well this bear, done got poked this week. 

Would  you like to know what happens when such a thing goes down? I know you are curious, all the popular people are. To find out this and how other fantastic beasts are faring read on! 

PS Gold's Hollywood, you are welcome for the free plug included in this column 

Dear Kanye West - if you think slavery is a choice, then your mental state is too.

Today's tongue twister: "Someone was caught half naked in the Queen's bedroom" - Queen being an open for interpretation sort of term. 

Whatever it is, I'm sure your opening monologue will cover it

Is there anybody out there?!

Horny guys need love too!

Lisa Vanderpump gifted Kyle Richards with a $3,000 Channel Bag after she loses $1 million in possessions (including bags) in a home burglary. Who says chivalry is dead???

Shout our to my sister Susan Waters who turns the big five-oh this coming Tuesday, that's May the 8th. Welcome to the tribe sis! 

"Come Alive"
Traci Lords

My friend Traci Lords is also turning 50, on Monday May the 7th. In honor of that she is releasing her new single "Come Alive" - "Yes" I've heard it and no you can't until Monday. Stay tuned for our upcoming chat. 

I am the black jeep of the family 

Behold the Dirt Bike Bitch - subway graffiti at it's most random

Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels

Blake Lively stopped following her husband Ryan Reynolds on Instagram. "Yes" that was random.

I will survive, but will you?

Just can't get enough? Follow me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Meow! The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Housewives Gone Wild!
l - r
Camille Grammer, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave, Lisa Rinna, Erika Girardi & Dorit Kemsley

It's time to sharpen those claws and crack open the Rose' The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills returns to Bravo tonight at 9 pm!

While Season Seven was a definite improvement over Season Six and the endless Lyme Disease and Munchausen blabber, raise a glass that Season Eight will finally get the Housewives groove back that earlier episodes of the show had. 

Yet who am I kidding. Even if this Season turns out to be somewhat lacking I will relish every second of it! Especially since this go round features the return of Camille Grammer, who was quite the conduit for drama when she was on the show before and I expect nothing less from her this time.

So tune in tonight minions and this time the drama isn't saved just for your Mama!

RHOBH on the WWW at: 

www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills 

Let Them Eat Cake!

Surrender The Pink
Lisa Vanderpump

"The crown is heavy, darlings, so just leave it where it belongs" - Lisa Vanderpump

As we all know celebrities do everything bigger than us mere mortals. Lisa Vanderpump is no exception. Check out her decadent Birthday cake, fit, well, for a  Queen. Lisa wears her crown well,

Frosted to the max in her favorite color, pink, duh. Adorned by two giant and I might add, ahem, quite thick sparklers...(wink, nudge) Lisa must be feeling her inner Marie Antoinette at her 56th celebration of her date of birth.

As an added bonus the staff and people dining at Pump where the Queen was presented her cake all sang HBD to her.

Yep, leave the crown where it is people, because nobody wears it better.

Lisa on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/lisavanderpump/?hl=en  

Michael's Musings

I'm Horny!!!
Michael Shinafelt

"The devil inside, the devil inside, Every single one of us the devil inside
The devil inside, the devil inside, Every single one of us the devil inside" - INXS

Yes this pretty much sums up how I am feeling today. I suspect a lot of you are in that zone too. Fasten your bondage strap, it's going to be a Hell of a ride!


La La Kent is leaving Vanderpump Rules. Considering she was the only thing interesting on the show I may stop watching. No offense Lisa Vanderpump.

I need to start doing my Christmas cards pronto. It's not that I don't care about family, friends etc., the Holiday season really holds no interest for me.

Kanye West met with Donald Trump. That says it all.

Things you should do this Holiday season, WTF you should do them all the time. Smile at  everyone you see, the response is always amazing.

My friend Jackie Kilmer has had the stomach flu, she says it makes her feel like Linda Blair in the Exorcist. Blech!

"Pat The Puss" - Thank you Erika Jayne for one of my go to phrases that makes me, and several people I know happy throughout the day.

Almighty Isis! I need a housekeeper!

Dear Hollywood Chamber of Commerce - the Walk of Fame is a major tourist attraction, can't you keep that shit clean?! Refer to my image below you bastards. Freddie Mercury is tossing off in his grave. PS - good for him!!!

Dirty Star, Clean Foot

As seen on Shark Tank, I bought a Scrub Daddy sponge that I spied at Ralph's the other day. It's the most awesome sponge ever! You know you are old when a great deal on a kitchen use sponge excites you!

This weekend is my Birthday, the 18th, worship me.

Leah Remini's show on Scientology is a must see! Go Leah!!!

You know your mission this weekend, it's my Birthday, give it to me!

Follow me here:
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/   

Shake Your Booty! LaLa Kent "Vanderpump Rules"

My Milkshake Brings All The Boys To The Yard
LaLa Kent

Last season Vanderpump Rules added a new female cast member. Someone enigmatic, pretty & sexy as F-U-C-K! One Ms. LaLa Kent.

Kent quickly became a fan favorite overshadowing, the regular returning cast Kristen Doutie, Stassi Schroeder, Katie Maloney, Scheana Marie & Ariana Madix. Please those women have nothing on Kent she is an entity all unto herself.

LaLa was a breath of fresh air quite different from the usual neurotic & psychotic Sur female employee. She has her feet planted firmly on the ground and knows who the fuck she is. 

So what does the girl with the most cake do? Set herself apart from the pack, as if she already hasn't, by wearing a sheer dress that reveals one of her best ASS - Sets to the season 5 kick off party for the show.

That's code for you could see LaLa's bare bum walking down the red carpet in case you didn't quite get the gist. 

Part of the reason I am drawn to LaLa is she reminds me of myself. How you may ask? Fluff up your pillow and dream on that one. Season 5 of Vanperpump Rules premieres on Bravo tonight! 

LaLa on Social Media:

https://www.instagram.com/lalakent/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/lala_kent
https://www.facebook.com/itslalakent/ 

Did You Miss Us?

It's Party Time!
Kyle Richards & Lisa Vanderpump

In case any of you out there are having some Real Housewives of Beverly Hills yearning, like me, until the season six December 1st premiere on Bravo. Never fear Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle Richards are here!

The two were red as Rosea Wine while attending a party in  Puerto Vallarta, Mexico together. Guess they really have kissed in make-up.

The photo is courtesy of Ms. Richard's Instagram, with no clever caption to accompany it. C'mon Kyle with your sass I expected more from you!

Being that it is Friday and that the weekend is here I thought this was a groovy way to get the party started!

T.G.I.F!

Kyle on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/kylerichards18/?hl=en 

Vanderpump Rules Black Friday

Hail Queen Lisa
The Cast Of "Vanderpump Rules"

With season five of Bravo's hit show Vanderpump Rules airing on the network and it being Black Friday and such, how about a unique celebrity product for some of the people on your nice list?

"Yes" reality television Queen Bee Lisa Vanderpump has many things she has put her considerable weight behind two restaurants in West Hollywood CA, Pump and Sur, two reality shows the other being The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. As well as numerous consumer products.

She also has a line of affordable Christmas decorations. That's right you too can own wreaths, stockings, ornaments etc. all with the seal of approval from Lisa herself.

Best part? You can get them online and avoid the hassle of parking and crowds.

Now that's my kind of Black Friday!


Check Out Lisa's nick nacks here: 
http://www.evine.com/b/home/vanderpump/?ecid=mktgposts_pr_eentertainmentarticle&p=1

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premieres December 1st!

In Bed With Jennifer Lawrence & Kris Jenner

We're Just Reading!
Kris Jenner & Jennifer Lawrence

Busted! Kris Jenner was caught in bed with Jennifer Lawrence by Jenner's boyfriend Corey Gamble who documented the tryst by taking a photo. 

And Kris took to her Instagram with the image and this caption: "Happy Birthday you piece of s--t... God I love you #Jenniferlawrence.Thanks for making this night a night to remember.....even if we did get caught... I love you Happy Birthday Gorgeous!!! #Bible #momager #doll."

Jennifer turned a ripe old 25 this past week, in case you didn't know. 

Ms. Lawrence is a reality TV addict! She has admitted to watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians and loving it! Also remember her visit to Lisa Vanderpump's Pump in West Hollywood where she and friends acted out scenes from Vanderpump Rules?

Need we extrapolate more?! Lawrence has yet to comment on this photo, but I am sure when she does it will be a doozy!

Kris on Instagram: https://instagram.com/krisjenner/

Jennifer Lawrence on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JenniferLawrence

Ladies Who Lunch: Lady Gaga & Lisa Vanderpump

Vanderpump Rules & Is Gaga For The Lady
Photo: 17 Online

People were doing double takes this past Friday, April 17th, when Lady Gaga dined with Lisa Vanderpump and the Real Housewives restaurant PUMP in West Hollywood, CA -

Gaga's Mom & manager also joined them.  Fans of Gaga and her music, which apparently Lisa is, will recall that Vanderpump and some of her Real Housewives of Beverly Hills co-stars appeared in the video for Lady Gaga's song "G.U.Y." from her Art Pop album.

Here is what Lisa V. Tweeted about the evening:

"Cosy dinner @ladygaga ...At PUMP ...woman after my own heart #lgbt #dogcrazy."

Wouldn't you want to be a fly on the wall at that table?

Dine with the women on Twitter at:

Gaga: https://twitter.com/ladygaga
Vanderpump: https://twitter.com/lisavanderpump

Come On Eileen

Eileen Davidson

OK, I am going to let you all in on a little secret, I am outing myself as a fan of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I do not watch any other of the "Housewives" shows but this one.

Why? Well the initial draw was the Richards Sisters, they are part of of the fabric of my memories growing up. Kim Richards was on Nanny and the Professor and in one of my favorite childhood films, Escape To Witch Mountain.

Kyle Richards was in the first horror movie I was ever taken to and remains one of my favorites today, John Carpenter's Halloween as Lindsey Wallace, the little girl Jamie Lee Curtis protects from the face of pure evil Michael Myers. 

Not to mention my introduction to one of the best Queen B's ever, Lisa Vanderpump. Well Lisa lookout your throne is facing some big competition in the form of Eileen Davidson, yep the Soap Opera Queen has a gun and is coming to take you down!

Eileen joins the fold for season 5 and comes armed with some major Queen B cred not only was she on Days of Our Lives which I never watched, she was also on my favorite and only Soap Opera I ever watched in my youth The Young and the Restless.

Her portrayal as the conniving Ashley Abbott (and however she hyphenated her last name on the show several times over) was awesome! I was completely mesmerized by this talented beauty.

She also had a passionate affair with Actor, Jon Voight and nearly became Angelina Jolie's Stepmother and signed onto season 5 of RHOBH for a first season record of $750,000!!!

Take that Vanderpump!

Season 5 of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is set to air this fall, I can't wait!

Get "Real" at: http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills