Michael's Musings

Michael Shinafelt

Parental Advisory isn't a one off for me it's a way of life. This week shant be any different, business as usual with a side of mellow, ,but not to much mellow. That's the way it goes.

Shall we? "Yes" we shall!

It was long, and it was fabulous

Sometimes I can't find my head 

Last night's episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills should have been called: The Ghosts of Housewives past

Close Encounters of the Karen Kind 

It's kind of like house arrest, without the ankle bracelet 

Kanye West is not going to be running for President in 2020. Did anyone think it was anything but a PR stunt? Bueller, Bueller...

R.I.P. Kelly Preston

Hey you, wear a mask damn it!!!

Woman Crush of the Week - Ayanna Pressley for telling Betsy Devos "I wouldn't trust you to care for a houseplant let alone my child" bad ass!

Zoinks! That is all.

After a mere month of reopening Gold's Gym Hollywood is closed again "sigh"

Only the armadillo knows

Love, Peace and Harmony

So little time, so many ______ fill it in baby, but make it scandalous 

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Michael's Musings

Seeing Red
Michael Shinafelt

Cuomo shows up and it's like “Ooooh, Daddy's here.” Newsome shows up and it's like “Ooooh, likable step-dad is here.”Trump shows up and it's like “Ooooh, racist grandpa took out his dick at the bus stop.” - John Fugelsang

Yeah, I wished I could take credit for this gem, but I acquiesce to comedian John Fugelsang. I follow Mr. Fugelsang on Twitter. Oddly getting my Tweet on has been a quite cathartic outlet for me during these trying times. It's the arena where I get truly politic and where brilliant minds like Fugelsang remind me not everyone is a MAGA Zombie Apocalypse wanna be. Moving on up, down and perpendicular...

Post quarantine will the producers of My 600 Pound Life find me? Or do I need to call them? How does this work???

BTW - how's your quarantine going? I actually took a nap yesterday to stop eating...

Vanderpump Rules is totally dreck this season

In these tough times there we can always count on the Taylor Swift/Kanye West/Kim Kardashian menage. They'll be there for you.

Raspberry Sherbet - that's all

My favorite refrain of late? "Where's the pizza???"

Stop getting creative with hard boiled eggs, I implore you!!!

Just Say: Le Woof

Woman Crush of the Week - Sia because I want to swing from the chandelier, damn it

You put your right foot in, you rock out with your c#ck out. Now THAT's the hokey pokey!!!

Doesn't it feel a lot better?

Fingers crossed Halloween Kills, the follow up to 2018's Halloween doesn't get lost in the shuffle due to the age of Corona. Hey, I have my priorities in tact.

When you are a gay man with the last name of Rimmer (true story) 

Do you hear what I hear? Do you? Answer me! Whatever...

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Michael's Musings

Take On Me???
Michael Shinafelt

You know the old adage "Don't poke the bear?" Well this bear, done got poked this week. 

Would  you like to know what happens when such a thing goes down? I know you are curious, all the popular people are. To find out this and how other fantastic beasts are faring read on! 

PS Gold's Hollywood, you are welcome for the free plug included in this column 

Dear Kanye West - if you think slavery is a choice, then your mental state is too.

Today's tongue twister: "Someone was caught half naked in the Queen's bedroom" - Queen being an open for interpretation sort of term. 

Whatever it is, I'm sure your opening monologue will cover it

Is there anybody out there?!

Horny guys need love too!

Lisa Vanderpump gifted Kyle Richards with a $3,000 Channel Bag after she loses $1 million in possessions (including bags) in a home burglary. Who says chivalry is dead???

Shout our to my sister Susan Waters who turns the big five-oh this coming Tuesday, that's May the 8th. Welcome to the tribe sis! 

"Come Alive"
Traci Lords

My friend Traci Lords is also turning 50, on Monday May the 7th. In honor of that she is releasing her new single "Come Alive" - "Yes" I've heard it and no you can't until Monday. Stay tuned for our upcoming chat. 

I am the black jeep of the family 

Behold the Dirt Bike Bitch - subway graffiti at it's most random

Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels

Blake Lively stopped following her husband Ryan Reynolds on Instagram. "Yes" that was random.

I will survive, but will you?

Just can't get enough? Follow me at:
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Michael's Musings

I'm Horny!!!
Michael Shinafelt

"The devil inside, the devil inside, Every single one of us the devil inside
The devil inside, the devil inside, Every single one of us the devil inside" - INXS

Yes this pretty much sums up how I am feeling today. I suspect a lot of you are in that zone too. Fasten your bondage strap, it's going to be a Hell of a ride!


La La Kent is leaving Vanderpump Rules. Considering she was the only thing interesting on the show I may stop watching. No offense Lisa Vanderpump.

I need to start doing my Christmas cards pronto. It's not that I don't care about family, friends etc., the Holiday season really holds no interest for me.

Kanye West met with Donald Trump. That says it all.

Things you should do this Holiday season, WTF you should do them all the time. Smile at  everyone you see, the response is always amazing.

My friend Jackie Kilmer has had the stomach flu, she says it makes her feel like Linda Blair in the Exorcist. Blech!

"Pat The Puss" - Thank you Erika Jayne for one of my go to phrases that makes me, and several people I know happy throughout the day.

Almighty Isis! I need a housekeeper!

Dear Hollywood Chamber of Commerce - the Walk of Fame is a major tourist attraction, can't you keep that shit clean?! Refer to my image below you bastards. Freddie Mercury is tossing off in his grave. PS - good for him!!!

Dirty Star, Clean Foot

As seen on Shark Tank, I bought a Scrub Daddy sponge that I spied at Ralph's the other day. It's the most awesome sponge ever! You know you are old when a great deal on a kitchen use sponge excites you!

This weekend is my Birthday, the 18th, worship me.

Leah Remini's show on Scientology is a must see! Go Leah!!!

You know your mission this weekend, it's my Birthday, give it to me!

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Why? Because I Can - Sharon Stone

It's The Insane
Sharon Stone!!!

While surfing the internet trying to find something other than the Kanye West/Kim Kardashian feud with Taylor Swift (yawn!!) or the shit show known as the RNC (Republican National Convention) to engage my grey matter, I struck myself some world wide web gold!

Feast your eyes on this uniquely amusing one of a kind image I found of one Ms. Sharon Stone. I'm not sure for what or why it was shot as it turned up on a blog I found, but it was too good to pass up posting on here and since Stone is one of my favorite actresses and this is my forum and I am a giver...

Don't say I've never done anything for you peeps. 

Have a good one and remember only you can choose the insanity you participate in!

Sharon on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/sharonstone/?hl=en 

Grab Hold, It's The Grammy's!

Aladdin Sane x 2!
David Bowie & Lady Gaga

Happy Presidents Day! Which is doubling this year as Grammy Award day as well. Or as I like to call it The Lady Gaga David Bowie Tribute.

Since I really have no drive to write about award shows I went to my friends at E!Online and spied a write-up called "7 Things You Need To Know" about tonight's celebration.

I only found four of them worth re-printing, one of the things I did not include was about Kanye West. Send me Thank You notes later. Here are the Top 4 points of interest that I found worthwhile about music's biggest night! Source E!Online:

It's Me, Gwen Stefani

1. Music History: Just days after premiering her new single "Make Me Like You,"The Voice coach Gwen Stefani will collaborate with Target to produce a music video on live television. Set to air during a four-minute commercial break, the finished product will feature multiple sets and real-time costume changes as well as "special surprises for fans."

2. The Year of 1989: With seven impressive nominations for the evening, fans and critics alike believe Taylor Swift will walk away with an award before the night is over. But in even more good news, the "Shake It Off" singer is opening up the show with a top-secret performance. Now if only we knew if boyfriend Calvin Harris was coming too.

3. Honoring a Legend: Just a few weeks after the passing of David Bowie, the Grammys will pay tribute to the "Modern Love" singer with the help of the one and only Lady Gaga. After slaying the National Anthem at last weekend's Super Bowl, Mother Monster will perform an "experiential" tribute for late rock star, who will also be receiving a posthumous Lifetime Achievement Award. "We had already booked Lady Gaga on this year's show, but when David passed—almost in a single moment—we knew we had to change direction," Grammys executive producer Ken Ehrlich said in a statement. "We immediately spoke and agreed that she should be the one to honor David. She's perfect for it."

4. Hello Superstar: While she may not be nominated this year—don't worry, there's an explanation why—Adele is still expected to attend the show where she will deliver a performance that may just be a tease to her upcoming tour across the country. For all those fans who couldn't score their tickets to the concert in your neck of woods, this may just be your lucky night.

Anything Goes: The VMA's

Get Your Tongue Off My VMA Miley Cyrus!

"Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night!" - Bette Davis as Margo Channing in All About Eve

That's right MTV's Video Music Awards are on tonight with Our Lady of Cyrus, Miley hosting. So that means anything can happen when she hits the stage and as you know, anything will!

Executive producers have been proactive and prepared a delay for her and lots of wide shots for audience reactions. Way to work those ratings people!

With live performances by Nicki Minaj, Macklemore, Pharrell Williams, Tori Kelly and many more planned it is a music lovers buffet.

Aside from the hostess with the mostess, or is it host with the most, sorry Miley I know you have stated you feel more like a guy than a girl in the past...the other wild card of the evening will be the coming of Yeezus!

That's correct, Kanye West will be accepting the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award, prepare thyself. 

Here's hoping Taylor Swift makes an appearance during that moment and there's no Bad Blood!

Tune in or be square to the MTV Video Music Awards tonight at 9/8c on MTV, duh!

My Quick Take On The Grammy's

Annie Lennox - Queen of the Night 

Opening with AC/DC pleased this Rock N Roll dudes heart, yes, it truly is a Highway To Hell people! 

While I was a huge Madonna fan once that was so Confessions On A Dance Floor ago.

Madonna so sucked last night it was like a vacuum on it's last legs - I am over gay men who are drooling over her performance. (hey being one I have a lot of them on my Facebook page, so this is first hand experience.)

Annie Lennox was IT last night, she had the last werd! 

Have loved her since the Eurythmics and all of her solo work is bomb! 

Although Hozier is very talented I was annoyed and over hearing his song Take Me To Church. My spin instructor has been playing it every class for the last 3 months, I go Saturday and Sunday, do that math!

Note to Kanye West, quit always defending Beyonce you jackhole. She was tre' boring last night. If people weren't already asleep by the end of the show, they sure would have dozed off then. 

Taylor Swift, quit getting down, white girl you have no rhythm and it's uncomfortable when the camera cuts to you and you pretend to. 

Katy Perry is a lovely and gracious loser.

Congratulations Sam Smith, the appeal is lost on me.

Love Beck, but I did not even know he had an album out last year.

Jessi J. & Tom Jones, that was cool. Not a show stealing performance like Annie Lennox, but fifty shades of cool none the less.

Pentatonix so glad you won, you deserved it for your Daft Punk medley.

Yeah, I'm done, I said it was a quick take, capice? 

Until next year!

Need Anyone Ask Why Kim & Kanye Continually Get Snubbed?!

Kanye & Kim - Enough Said

Kim Kardashian was snubbed by President Obama  last week at Steven Spielberg’s 
Ambassador for Humanity gala. Although the President did mingle with a number of high profile guests, according to Radar Online, when Kim reached out for an introduction, she was rebuffed. 

OK Obama I'm with you on this decision, although Kim supported the President’s re-election, she was not allowed to do anything in a political capacity. Kim’s support is not something serious candidates want, let's all fain shock and surprise. The President has already labeled Kanye West as  “jackass” twice, so maybe this should not be a surprise.

The best surprise is no surprise...you two need to find a hole to hide in the bomb is coming. 

This Weeks Word: Snubbed - and rightfully so. Happy Mothers Day.& no website recommend at this time.