Michael's Musings

California Dreamin'...
Michael Shinafelt

"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today" - James Dean

This past week has been a odd one I can't really put a handle one how to define it other than we all have to dream. 

Dreaming is what keeps us moving, and moving is how we accomplish our dreams. That's not a quote from someone else. I just said that, right here, right now.

Let's make this week a dream. Shall we play???

One of my favorite things about waking up at 3 AM from insomnia is how perfectly still and quite the world is. It is a very productive time for me.

File This Under One Can Dream: "Waiting for someone from Big Bang Theory to be outed as a rapist so that godawful show can be canceled" - Faith Choyce, Comedian 

How about that lackluster season finale of American Horror Story: Cult?

Tweet others as you would like to be tweeted

Some days I want to put on my dancing shoes and pretend I can

I saw an interracial gay couple in the grocery store the other day. Those guys looked like the black and white version of each other.

Best Headline: I Stuck 9 Creme Eggs Up My Bum

Always follow the Laws of Attraction

Meanwhile, down in the valley...

Blake Shelton is People Magazine's sexiest man alive. He's not even the sexiest Blake alive, or dead for that matter.

Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate

When in doubt, shake your booty!

Sometimes, when I am at a total loss I think "What would Satan do?"

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world" - Harriet Tubman 

For sweet dreams follow me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt

Michael's Musings

Taste The Rainbow
Michael Shinafelt

"When a rocket blows and, and everybody still wants to fly, Some say man ain't happy truly until a man truly dies, Oh why, oh why? Sign o' the times, unh" - Sign O' The Times, Prince 

Wow! What a week this has been! First let me start things off by stating I finally followed through on something that I have always thought about doing but never have. I took a boxing class at Gold's Gym Hollywood this past Tuesday night with my friend Maresa Wickham. 

Let me say this about the experience, it was exhilarating! So much so that when I did yoga yesterday morning, it's held in the same room as boxing. I kept looking over at the punching bag off to the side wanting to go a few rounds with it. 

There you have it, and here we go!

The Globe is really desperate for gossip. The headline I saw in the checkout line at my local Smart & Final read: "Dying Camilla Plans Her Own Funeral." Like no on has ever done THAT before!

Seriously Ryan Murphy? This past weeks American Horror Story: Cult featuring Charles Manson as part of the story line was on a lame par with the Valerie Solanas episode, and in bad taste in so many ways, I can't even!!!

Danica Roem is the first transgender woman to win a seat as an official in Virginia over opponent Bob Marshall who tried to pass laws discriminating against her. History and the greater good have been served.

It's raining diversity hallelujah!

Jenny Durkan an out Lesbian has been elected Mayor of Seattle. My home area, yay!

Byline: "Grey's Anatomy Will End if Ellen Pompeo Quits." I didn't know the show was still on, let alone it actually having an audience that tunes in.

Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire...
Mike Clifford

Mike Clifford's wonderful rendition & video of The Christmas Song drop this Wednesday November 15th. Keep up with Mike at: https://www.facebook.com/MikeCliffordsWonderfulWorld/

Daylight Savings Time ended this past weekend. Has anyone ever asked daylight if it really wants to be saved?

If you had a Guardian Angel what do you think they would do? What would mine do? Be spent 24/7

Speaking of 24/7 things: pizza, yes pizza you are always on my mind

Lyrics are really hard to decipher in songs you don't know. I swear there is a song I hear in Jessica's spin class @ Gold's Gym Hollywood that has the refrain: "When I put my titties on"

This week everything has been coming up Unicorns...go team uni! 

Everything is rainbows & unicorns in my world at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt     

Michael's Musings

Who's Your Leather Daddy Zombie?
Michael Shinafelt

"For no mere mortal can resist the evil of the thriller" - Vincent Price, Michael Jackson's Thriller

Being this is my last column before Halloween I made an executive decision to try to make this a horrific experience for you ghouls.

The hardest part of that decision was what kind of a Halloween image of myself to post. I've exhausted my take on Satan, sent in my clowns one too many times. Bingo! I got it. With The Walking Dead having premiered last week I decided to Zombie myself by using the photo of taken of moi as a Leather Daddy Vampire when I was on the Here TV show "The Lair" and transforming myself into a Leather Daddy Zombie.

Cheers to all you Walking Dead fans of which I am not one. Zombies don't really put a tingle in my spine, but I would always be up to play one, moving on down into the ground...

Dear Mark Wahlberg: God does not forgive one for showing a prosthetic penis

Brian Moylan over at Vulture does the best recaps of American Horror Story IMHOP on the WWW They are insightful, not to mention witty. Don't believe me here is a link to his coverage of this week's episode: http://www.vulture.com/2017/10/ahs-cult-season-7-episode-8-winter-of-our-discontent.html

Congratulations to Mike Clifford who wrapped the video and laid the track for his rendition of The Christmas Song landing November 15th - you know "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire"...visit Mike here: https://www.reverbnation.com/mikeclifford6

Rick Springfield, Rick Springfield, Rick Springfield on American Horror Story: Cult. If you saw it, you get it.

It is with great sadness that I announce that Myself & Maresa Wickham were the death of "hard" in Jessica's spin class at Gold's Gym Hollywood...R.I.P.

Do you buy all your murder weapons at Home Depot? God you're butch

The Taco Bell crispy chicken quesadilla, it really is as disgustingly good as it looks!

WTF am I doing for Halloween? Why hitting Santa Monica Blvd. in West Hollywood, CA like I do every year with my buddy Scott Jacobs in tow. Tradition Rulz!

Gotta love auto-correct. It told my niece Shauna Waters I "banged" Freeform's The Bold Type recently instead of "binged" it. Disturbing.

Pumpkin Carving 101

Now that is how you carve a pumpkin!

"October's awesome because you can buy a cart full of candy, tons of alcohol, a hockey mask, a chainsaw, and 54 industrial sized trash bags and the cashier won't even look at you weird" - Krista Allen 

Halloween costume recommends? A turban and some make-up

"I am the pumpkin king!" - Jack Skellington, The Nightmare Before Christmas 

Recently I saw Halloween II was on AMC. Nostalgia set in to see Jamie Lee Curtis square off with Michael Myers in a horror movie from my youth. It turned out to be the Rob Zombie version. Yes, I felt like Charlie Brown "I got a rock."

Face your fears and follow me on social media at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Only 1 Week Until Halloween!!!

Angelina Jolie

Between the remake of IT and American Horror Story: Cult evil clowns are all the rage for Halloween 2017.

I decided to Google "celebrities as evil clowns" and boy did I come up with some scary ones! To celebrate the imminent arrival of All Hallows Eve next week I decided to post a few of my favorite  images of celebs re-imagined as clowns that make you go yikes!

Proceed at your own peril!

Ryan Reynolds

George Clooney

Beyonce

Follow the link below to more Evil Celebrity Clowns on PopDust.com, I double dog dare you!
https://www.popdust.com/29-of-your-favorite-celebrities-reimagined-as-really-evil-clowns-1889907031.html

Michael's Musings

What's That On Your Head? A Purple Ankh!
Michael Shinafelt

What's that you say? Why did I draw a purple Ankh on my head? Because today is LGBTQ Spirit Day! A community of which I am proud to be a part of. Support them and take a stand against bullying people, really we do have the power!

This was also the week of a movement spearheaded by Alyssa Milano. In response to the whole Harvey Weinstein debacle, those of us who have had sexual violations in our life are urged to keep the dialogue flowing with #metoo if we have suffered such abuse.

Well let's start this weeks column off on a note of positive energy, shall we?

#metoo

The Ankh is the Egyptian symbol of  life. I have one tattooed above my right ankle. Thus my use of it this week in honor of LGBTQ Spirit Day.

Oooooops! Ryan Murphy did it again, like he always does. As American Horror Story is headed into the home stretch he comes up with some grafted on story line that really has nothing to do with the rest of the show to accommodate a famous person who wants to guest star. In this case Lena Dunham as Valerie Solanas - pointless and boring, I was on Instagram most of the show. You'd think he'd learn, but no.

Check out my Halloween chat with fellow horror lover author M.E. Franco
https://mefrancoauthor.blogspot.com/2017/10/halloween-time-with-michael-shinafelt.html

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

Salmon spinach salad with tomato & avocado, that is all

I've Been Slimed!
Michael Shinafelt

We are living in an ethereal world

Zack Efron turned thirty yesterday, call me Daddy!

You know that phrase: "If there's one thing I can't stand" Really?! Only one???

Congratulations to Mike Clifford on successfully shooting the video for his cover of The Christmas Song. You know "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.." and such. Coming Soon!

Pumpkin spice whatever you F#cking want, tis the season

"My Halloween costume is 2017" - Faith Choyce, Comedian 

There are two "r's" in hemorrhoids

12 more days till Halloween, Silver Shamrock

My name is Michael, Call me Daddy at: 

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

Come Closer, It Doesn't Smell
Michael Shinafelt

"I wish I was like you...Easily amused" - All Apologies, Nirvana 

It takes a lot to amuse me in the world of entertainment. In life not so much there are so many amusing and amazing people, places & things to engage in the world around us. While I am not one of those overly perky people I am certainly not a pessimist either. I would clarify myself as a realist. 

Life is a series of moments and how you experience them is up to you....time to throw me in the shallow water before I get too deep!

Let's all put on a folk hat and learn something about a foreign culture

Khloe Kardashian & Kylie Jenner are both pregnant. Smells like ratings spirit

Did you know you can purchase Vampire Repellent from Gwyneth Paltrow's life style brand Goop? It's supposed to ward off "Emotional Vampires" - I can save you $100, cut them out of your life. Yeah, it's that simple.

R.I.P. Hugh Hefner you were a true original

Started up yoga again my arms and back are SAF! But it's worth it!

Turns out Tyra Banks is good for something. Whilst trying to treat my dry skin issue I remembered some celebrity had once said they use Vaseline on their face. It works, and the celeb was Tyra.

Vulgarity is an important ingredient of life. F#ck you if you disagree!

Send In The Insane Clown Posse
American Horror Story

No matter what I think about it this season of American Horror Story is certainly the most audacious! 

When someone asks you why the response should always be: Because I can

AT&T needs me to spank them, hard!

What's on my mind? You, you are always on my mind


No one needs squad goals - are you listening Taylor Swift???

Keep Calm and As If...

Pretend I am a cult leader and mindlessly follow me at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Michael's Musings

No Bozo
Michael Shinafelt

"But where are the clowns? There ought to be clowns. Quick, send in the clowns" - Send In The Clowns, Stephen Sondheim 

Clowns abound this week! With the premiere of American Horror Story: Cult, IT opening this Friday & Donald Trump moving (his bowels I am guessing) to overturn DACA.

Isn't life funny? Moving on...

The only thing Trump could do that would surprise me at this point is not be a narcissistic bloated piece of sh!t of a human being.

After catching the premiere of American Horror Story: Cult - I think the subtitle for the latest season should be American Horror Story: Clown Porn

Street Talk - "I'm Eeyore, but I'm not. Jesus made me this way"

Vulgarity is an important ingredient in life

If you're sexy and you know it clap your hands!

Wanna know what I made this week that is magically delicious? A salmon patty with Jalapenos on top under melted jack cheese. Yes, it was good as it sounds.

Sasha Pieterse & Moi
@ The G.B.F. Premiere

A shout out to Pretty Little Liars Sasha Pieterse who will be on the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars

Helpful Hint: Always remember when being attacked by sadistic clowns, hurl bottles of rose' 

Who out there is seeing IT tomorrow like me? Raise your hands.

I'm a rebel just for kicks now

Looking for a whore? Ask a pimp

Don't be a drag, just be a queen

Clown around with me at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

AHS: Cult

While I am not going to review last night's shenanigans on American Horror Story: Cult I will say this - who knows what the hell is going on? Please if you do, or think you do, spill!

Election night 2016 kicks off this season that had many WTF?! moments in it. How WTF?! were they Michael? Evan Peters character Kai urinating in a condom and tossing it at a group of Latino immigrants spouting racial slurs. A gang of clowns one who masturbates in front of Sarah Paulson's Ally while two others of the insane clown posse fornicate in front of her.

As if Donald Trump "leading" our country isn't freaky enough, we now have to contend with this shit as a result of him being elected???

The only thing I can state about last night's premiere is it left me in a state of confusion as to where this season is going to lead. This could be a good thing although it turned out that it was not so good when Roanoke aired last season and turned out to be even worse than Coven.

Yeah, of course I will keep watching. The crazy array of scenarios trotted out before me last night were completely nuts! I hope where this path leads is equally so.

AHS on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/americanhorrorstory/

Michael's Musings

The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of...
Michael Shinafelt

This week one thing really comes to mind: Stay Queer As F#ck! Queer meaning be bold, be individual and most of all be present. This is to all my friends, who break the mold and follow their own paths and to those who I don't know, yet do the same. 

Moving forward...

Free your mind and your ass will follow

You know the world is f#cked when you see a headline giving credibility to Ivanka Trump's thoughts on politics

Own it when you get your tit in a ringer

I'm just a pool boy, from a pool family

My hybrids are better than your hybrids

Two movies I am actually can't wait to see (trust me this is rare) IT & Mother!

And then there's the latest Taylor Swift single...

Headline I Love! Texas Pizza Hut Employees Deliver Free Pizzas by Kayak to Harvey Victims Trapped in Their Homes

Yoga is a helpful thing

Are you a therapist now, wiener man?

I hope American Horror Story: Cult is better than that Roanoke garbage

Get your freak on with me at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt