Hump Day & Chill

In Gwyneth We Trust

This week we have the definition of Hump Day & Chill in the house! One Ms. Gwyneth Paltrow during her trial regarding some ski accident somewhere. 

Honestly who cares about the details Gwyneth was cool as a cucumber and making no apologies for her white woman privilege as only she can.

Cards on the table? There are more than a few things that annoy me about Ms. Paltrow but this trial was one of her best performances evuh!!! She was everything and then some the most collected, calm rich white woman in the history of them! 

I'm glad she took the proceedings on with a bit of pomp and frivolity, because I certainly thought the case against her was ridiculous and should never have gone to trial.

Thus we crown Gwyneth Paltrow the this week's Queen of Hump Day & Chill. Until someone dethrones her get your hump on Minions!!!

Ms. P on IG -

https://www.instagram.com/gwynethpaltrow/?hl=en

Michael's Musings

Rainbow High
Michael Shinafelt

"Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow ConnectionThe lovers, the dreamers and me" Rainbow Connection, The Muppets

This past week the Supreme Court took a stand for LGBTQ Civil Rights, and it happened during Pride Month, Yay! While I don't even know why basic equality should be held into question, let alone need a ruling by a court this is still rocking news!!!

So, how you doing Minions? Let's hit this noise!

I don't know about you, but I don't trust anyone who can't hold a drink with one hand, just sayin'

"To go Full Karen you must imagine that you're delivering Scarlett O'Hara's "As God as my witness" speech, for your talent competition in the Miss USA Pageant and that if you don't win there will be a lawsuit" - Paul Rudnick

FYI If you've never had the Supreme Court decide if you have the same rights as others you have privilege

Just say no to being a victim of lunar carnivorous activities

Gwyneth Paltrow now offers a candle called "This Smells Like My Orgasm" and is hawking it with the help of her 14 year old son Moses. File this under: "Just when you thought 2020 couldn't get any more disturbing"

Radiant and Real

COVID-19 has now cancelled more gigs than Morrissey

Silence is not Golden

Woman Crush of the Week - in keeping with Pride Month, Madonna. For being at the forefront of the fight against AIDS. Here she is in the 90's at the AIDS Dance-A-Thon, you're welcome 😎

For the older people making fun of Tik Tok, remember you used to do the same thing in front of a mirror alone and for free

I work from home in mysterious ways...let that sink in

Marking myself safe from who the Hell knows what today

Alien Sex Fiend has always been one of my favorite band names (yes, it really is the name of a band)

We all have one thing in common, we are all mosquito food

Now I'm hungry, follow me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Alfresco

Alfresco
Brad Falchuk & Gwyneth Paltrow 

With all the turmoil happening in these troubled times I thought it would be a good thing to take a moment and hang out with Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Brad Falchuk and dine Alfresco with them in the back of their car in Santa Monica, CA.

Don't they look so chill and happy? I think they do. Thus this is your assignment today, you have no choice but to accept it.

Find your Happy Place, something that makes you relaxed, something that soothes your inner savage beast. 

Mine will be to meditate, I lay on my living room floor, close my eyes on focus on all the positive things in my life. It's amazing how I feel after and it really shifts your focus to a good place.

So pack your bags Minions it's time for you to take a trip to your Happy Place. The train has arrived so get on board! Don't forget to take some Alfresco with you!

Alfresco on Wikipedia:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfresco  

Michael's Musings

Come Closer, It Doesn't Smell
Michael Shinafelt

"I wish I was like you...Easily amused" - All Apologies, Nirvana 

It takes a lot to amuse me in the world of entertainment. In life not so much there are so many amusing and amazing people, places & things to engage in the world around us. While I am not one of those overly perky people I am certainly not a pessimist either. I would clarify myself as a realist. 

Life is a series of moments and how you experience them is up to you....time to throw me in the shallow water before I get too deep!

Let's all put on a folk hat and learn something about a foreign culture

Khloe Kardashian & Kylie Jenner are both pregnant. Smells like ratings spirit

Did you know you can purchase Vampire Repellent from Gwyneth Paltrow's life style brand Goop? It's supposed to ward off "Emotional Vampires" - I can save you $100, cut them out of your life. Yeah, it's that simple.

R.I.P. Hugh Hefner you were a true original

Started up yoga again my arms and back are SAF! But it's worth it!

Turns out Tyra Banks is good for something. Whilst trying to treat my dry skin issue I remembered some celebrity had once said they use Vaseline on their face. It works, and the celeb was Tyra.

Vulgarity is an important ingredient of life. F#ck you if you disagree!

Send In The Insane Clown Posse
American Horror Story

No matter what I think about it this season of American Horror Story is certainly the most audacious! 

When someone asks you why the response should always be: Because I can

AT&T needs me to spank them, hard!

What's on my mind? You, you are always on my mind


No one needs squad goals - are you listening Taylor Swift???

Keep Calm and As If...

Pretend I am a cult leader and mindlessly follow me at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Michael's Musings

Love A Man In Uniform?
Michael Shinafelt

Yes, it's that random day of the week I get to bridle you in and make you submit. Who's Your Daddy? If you said Michael Shinafelt, welcome. Other answers will be considered a very naughty mistake and you know what that means...

So with my thoughts and impressions from the last time I posted this, until now, here I go, and there is nothing you can do about it!

Special thanks to Vika Zal for getting me into the invite only screening at the Irish Film Festival in Los Angeles of "Handsome Devil." A wonderful coming of age gay themed film. See it if you get a chance.

To Naama Kates my lovely date for the evening: Tayin' in the Santa Ana Wins...

OK, as you all know Entertain Me endorses Hillary Clinton. Here is one beef I have about her supporters who aren't me. You bag on Trump for his instigating of hate and then turn around and post on social media that anyone who doesn't support Hillary can stop following you, remove themselves from your friends list etc. Food for thought.

Missing someone's spunk, is that a thing?

I was unable to attend Folsom in San Francisco this year. Thanks to the world wide web felt like I didn't miss a thing. 

Ever Notice Donald Trump and Heat Miser are never in the same room?

"Cheers to our hairless vaginas" - shit Gwyneth Paltrow says

Scream Queens is back for a second season. I really don't want to extrapolate.

Oh ye of little hype. Today I just realized by flipping channels that Project Runway is already two weeks into it's 15th season.

There's someone for everyone. Yes, really.

Enjoy your "Hump Day" I know I plan to ; )

Follow me on Twitter at:
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

"Beautifully Squeezed Tube Of Toothpaste" Rihanna

Your Hand Is Like Blue Velevt
Rihanna & Chris Martin

Coldplay's consciously un-coupled frontman Chris Martin recently gave an in depth interview to The Guardian where he spoke quite highly of  Rihanna.

You know Rihanna, the music superstar who was featured on Colplay's Princess Of China? You know, her. 

Well Martin came up with a strange/beautiful/WTF? analogy to describe Rihanna's voice.

It's like a "Beautifully squeezed tube of toothpaste" he said.

This is a huge compliment when you think about it. How many times has anyone ever used a tube of toothpaste squeezed in a way that would make you feel you did it "beautifully" and utilized the whole freakin' thing? Yeah, I thought not.

Wow! Wished Chris would have dispensed some of these gems about ex-wife Gwyneth Paltrow, but perhaps those analogies were not nearly as endearing.

Rihanna on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/badgalriri/?hl=en

Chris on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Iamchrismartin

amfAR 2015: Sharon Stone, Sharon Stone, Sharon Stone!

Playing Tricks With Her Crucifix
Sharon Stone

amfAR recently held it's inspiration gala in Los Angeles, CA honoring the man behind American Horror Story, Ryan Murphy and hosted by Gwyneth Paltrow.

For those of you who may not be familiar with the organization, it raises money for AIDS research.

While the event was of course attended by the AHS cast, with Lady Gaga performing at it, let's all pretend to be surprised by that fact. It was Sharon Stone who made the biggest splash of the evening.

Not only does she look amazing, her outfit for the night was the bomb!

Talk about inspiring! Well yes, not only does Ms. Stone inspire because she has still got it at fifty-seven, something you may not be aware of is she has raised millions of dollars for the organization. Yes, that's right, Sharon Stone has championed amfAR for years.

She has even been an auctioneer at an event and a very good one at that, she could get you to buy a rock for a few grand, she is that persuasive.

Cheers to inspiration! Have a good one!

Learn More About amfAR here: 
www.amfar.org/‎   

Gwyneth Paltrow Cleanses Her Vagina

Gwyneth Paltrow: Fresher Than a Summer's Eve

Gwyneth Paltrow steamed out the contents of her V-spot and spilled it all on Goop. 

Yes, that's right folks, the G Spot took to her lifestyle site Goop and wrote about an expensive (quell surprise) Santa Monica retreat called Tikkun Holistic Spa.

"The real golden ticket here is the Mugworth V-Steam: You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al." 

The spa's site gives a history of the art of vagina steaming , explaining that it has been utilized in Korea "for hundreds of years" and helps to "maintain internal health" and keeps "skin looking young and healthy. The procedure involves the placement of boiled leaves and flower buds on a "specific area of the body" for "detoxication." 

Heralded as "the talk of the town," the V-Steam will cost you $50 for a 30-minute treatment.

Now THAT is one high end douche!

You're Never Fully Dressed Without a V-Steam at:
http://www.tikkunspa.com/

Pour Some Goop On It: 
http://goop.com/

Shocker, Not Really: Melanie Griffith & Antonio Banderas Split

Griffith & Banderas

Well, at least they are not consciously uncoupling, and think that water has feelings...

"We have thoughtfully and consensually decided to finalize our almost twenty years marriage in a loving and friendly manner honoring and respecting each other, our family and friends and the beautiful time we have spent together" - Melanie & Antonio

It's been a long time coming in this writer's estimation, and I hear the split is amicable, one of the most unlikely couples in Hollywood to ever get married are calling it quits. You've got to give it to them they lasted eighteen years.

Here's the 411: The famous duo have been married for 18 years and have one daughter together, Stella, who turns 18 in the fall.

Griffith has cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for ending her marriage to the Spanish actor and is asking for spousal support.

Best to both of you.

Antonio on IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000104/?ref_=fn_nm_nm_1

Melanie on IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000429/?ref_=fn_nm_nm_1