Houndstooth Housewife

Stepping Out
Kathy Hilton

Let's start the week off with a little Houndstooth shall we? Of course we shall! Witness one Kathy Hilton out for dinner in West Hollywood, CA wearing Houndstooth, duh! Making her the "Houndstooth Houswife" get it, got it, good!

Nobody does it better than Kathy, ask the fans of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, like me. 

Oh that Kathy could let loose with the most off the wall zingers at the most unexpected times. 

She's got style, she's got class and she does it all with sass!!!

My only remaining "?" is WTF does spell check keep flagging Houndstooth as incorrectly spelled?!

This is the way it's written, I double checked. So be it, indeed....

Kathy on IG -

https://www.instagram.com/kathyhilton/?hl=en  

Michael's Musings

Need I Say More?
Michael Shinafelt

It's the second day of 2020, feel different? Transformed? Full of hope? New Year, New You? If you answered "Yes" to any of these, you are most likely placing too much importance on a day that merely marks the changing of a number defining time and place. 

All the New Year means is, well, a New Year. While something new isn't bad, there is not much more significance to it than a marking of time. Bubble, bubble, toil and...2020 is ours to define, like all the other preceding years. It's a fluid thing not a 365 day thing. 

Rumor has it January is: "It's OK To Be White Month." Hey, I read it on the WWW, I couldn't make something that idiotic up.

It's really cool to be alive in America at this point in History. It's like the fall of the Roman Empire, but with Wi-Fi

Be kind, be bold, be brave 

Every day is the best day of the year

The Golden Globes are Sunday. Let the cartoons begin!

Did you put the banana in Andrew's rear end?

I have three words for you: Ariel Beelsey, Echoplex, Tomorrow 

That time you realize your selfie has gone horribly wrong, discuss

Woman Crush of the Week: January Jones - Because it's January, duh!

Heck is where you go when you do little sins

The older I get, the happier I become

How about the movie "Cats?" Anyone? I thought not

When are they going to give the death penalty to individuals who comment on articles without reading them?

Tell me who you wore on your living room couch for NYE

My name is Michael, Daddy if you're nasty at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

Step Into My Lair
Michael Shinafelt

"What good is sitting, alone in your room? come hear the music play! Life is a cabaret, old chum! Come to the cabaret!" Cabaret, Liza Minnelli 

For some reason my mind landed on planet Cabaret this morning. Hey, creativity is the one thing I don't question in this world. It's my safe word, say it with me... C-R-E-A-T-I-V-I-T-Y - rolls off the tongue like buttah! 

Let's get this Cabaret started minions!

Barbara Streisand & Ariana Grande singing No More Tears/Enough Is Enough at Madison Square Garden feels like a pivotal moment in Queer studies of the future

Scary Drag Queens, discuss...

A hobo called me a bimbo once

Use a Dustbuster after eating your Nacho Cheese Doritos on the Porcelain God please

In the name of all that is Holy. Find something Holy I double dog dare you!!!

Bizarre Quote of the Week - "Spend more time on your knees than on the internet." Mike Pence. Ummmmm, sounds like a come on, I'll pass 😒

R.I.P. Toni Morrison

Lean in to the frequency and give in to the funk. This is your super power.

Woman Crush of the Week - Zoe Kravitz

Green eggs & ham are gross, Sam I Am can suck it!

 Lock the door Patricia Mae Andrzejewski (Pat Benatar's real name)

Nacho, Nacho, Man, I wanna be a Nacho Man

Oh look at that, a living, breathing dumpster fire

WTF did a visual of Christopher Meloni naked on OZ just flash through my mind? Oh nevermind...

Find out who let the dogs out by following me at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

F#cking Cardi B!

U Suck!
Cardi B

WTF?! Does the "B" in Cardi "B" stand for anyway?! Well if I was a betting sort of guy I would venture the "B" stood for B!tch! 

Personally I can't stand her music. On another note does the "Me Too" movement only apply to women?!

"Yes" minions.  Cardi B. has admitted to stealing from men under the influence whilst she was a stripper. Thus does this make her PC?  Not in the least.

Personally I find her as repellent as all the men out there who prey on women and find her as morally accountable as they are.

It's a shame she was cast autobiographically in Hustlers opposite the great Jennifer Lopez. 

WTF?! Were they thinking. I can't stand the rapist, I mean artist, I  mean POS known as Cardi B!  

Comi-Con 2019: The Eternals

Surprise!
Angelina Jolie

So what kind of monster would I be if I didn't acknowledge the one of the biggest, most influential entertainment spectacles on the planet Comi-Con in San Diego? What kind of monster would I be? I'm asking you? Come on you lovers of the fantastic, surely you can come up with something???

Lucky for you, you won't have to as I am giving a wink and a nod to it by posting this pic of Angelina Jolie swooping down on the convention Maleficent style to surprise all you comic loving monkeys.

Now Ms. Jolie I suppose was there in part to promote the upcoming sequel to Maleficent, but she had something even more devilish planned. "Yes" Angelina revealed she is soon to become part of the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe for the uninitiated) - she will be portraying Thena in The Eternals.

Like me you are most likely scratching something on your being and asking "WTF is an Eternal?!" fear not her is the explanation straight from IMDb's mouth: 

"The saga of the Eternals, a race of immortal beings who lived on Earth and shaped its history and civilizations."

Alrighty then. The Eternals is set for release on November 6th 2020, seems like almost an eternity...Ha!

The Eternals on IMDb -
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9032400/?ref_=nv_sr_1?ref_=nv_sr_1  

Just Because...Cha-Cha-Cha

Cha Cha Cha
Madonna

Just Because it's catchier than you initially think. Just Because of it's dream like quality and Just Because it uses the phrase Cha Cha Cha I present to you Madonna's first single off of her upcoming album Madame X - Medellin.

Honestly upon first listen I was so like WTF?! Then I listened again, and again and the Cha Cha Cha goes on...

She collaborated with Latin star Maluma who is from Medellin, Cha Cha Cha.

When I play it while sipping my black fly free Chardonnay I often feel like I am drifting into a fugue Cha Cha Cha.

But mostly it makes me want Cha Cha Heels for Christmas, for I am Nikki Finn and I will not be denied, Cha Cha Cha.

Madonna on IG -

https://www.instagram.com/madonna/?hl=en

Fencing

Fencing
Chris Mason & Sasha Pieterse

Today is all about fencing, no not of the sword fighting variety, but of the getting impaled on one type of thing. 

Here it is peeps the current image of my eye a BTS selfie of Sasha Pieterse aka Alison Dilaurentis & Chris Mason whose character Nolan Hotchkiss bites it by, you go it, getting impaled on a fence, fencing, at the end of the premiere episode of Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists. 

Consider this definition of "fencing" my contribution to the Urban Dictionary - since I have to look up so many of today's references there I felt like adding to the already muddled waters for some more WTF? moments and collective Google searches among the masses.

Love this image and really love the show, thus my work here is done.

Mic Drop!

PLL: The Perfectionists on the WWW at:
https://freeform.go.com/shows/pretty-little-liars-the-perfectionists  

Today's WTF Moment...

Supermodel
Kendall Jenner & Kate Moss

The Grammy's air today in case you give a F#ck. However this is the image that caught the apple of my eye. "Yes" it's two iconic models, Hey it always takes two. Give your wafer up for Kate Moss & Kendall Jenner!

WTF are they doing? I'm so glad you asked. They are sitting in the front row at the Longchamp runway show during New York Fashion Week. (say that three times fast, I dare you MotherF#ckers) -

Since I am no fashionista - really F#ck that Sh!t - I liked the surprise element of this image and the passing of the torch sort of thang.

Oh, and let me state something. Even though Kendall Jenner has had it easy in the lucky break department. Honestly she is what the modeling industry looks for. So shut the F#ck up and quit your bitching assh#les.

Who knows why I am using such profanity today??? Also you shouldn't give a F#ck!!!

biss mich dumm hund aka bite me dumb dog.

NY Fashion Week on the WWW:
http://nyfw.com/

Michael's Musings

Join My Army
Michael Shinafelt

In what has got to be one of the most WTF weeks ever, I am here to enlist you to join my Army. From the random and weird Golden Globe ceremony to the dangerous random and weird rantings of a spoiled brat would be POS dictator B!tch Baby.

My Army is truth, care come along?

Lady Gaga won Best Actress from The National Board of Review - she will not be ignored HFPA!

The rantings of a lunatic, Donald Trump (I can't call him President, I didn't vote for this F#cking Sh!t) was shot down in the ratings by Nancy Pelosi - Bang, Bang MotherF@ker!

It's not like I can put the weenie back in the bottle

Start by telling me the earliest memory of your middle finger

FYI - I have had four boyfriends and Satan has hated them all

Instead of watching that POS bitch about his waaaaaaaaalll, I viewed Lindsay Lohan's Becah Club on MTV - a train wreck in many of the ways that you'd expect. Threat to the safety and well being of others...zero!!!

I'm a little bit Buddhist, I'm also a lot Rock-N-Roll

King Slut

D-List Euro Socialites - discuss

Giving Zero F#cks
Sarah Paulson & James McAvoy

Sarah Paulson is giving you everything you need today in this shot from the Glass premiere (with James McAvoy) in London.

Note to self: Why the Hell is R. Kelly not locked up???

What's a nice whore like you doing in Arizona?

Sometimes you feel like a twunt, sometimes you don't

Today is the mysterious anniversary of the day I buried my last F#ck 

Bury your last F#ck with me at -
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Freaky Friday

Do You Believe In...
Tom Cruise & Cher

"It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone" - Rod Serling, The Twilight Zone 

You have now been transported to another time and place. The year is 1985 the place Sean Penn & Madonna's wedding. This is where Cher and Tom Cruise met, and "yes" started dating...

WTF?! Well Virginia this twosome totally dated! The Twilight Zone was a product of Hollywood and now you know why, because things like this happen in Tinseltown, thus "The Zone" is real kiddies.

Cher has spilled that Tom was one of her best lovers. I am going to have to venture this was before he joined the cult of Scientology and became a mechanical boy. Because I honestly can't imagine him being all that good now. The early years, when he came across like a flesh and blood human being, fer sure.

So I'm gonna leave you with this trip to contemplate on this Freaky Friday, right here, right now...

Mic Drop!

Cher on IG -
https://www.instagram.com/cher/?hl=en

Tom on IG -
https://www.instagram.com/tomcruise/?hl=en

Michael's Musings

Could It Be Satan? Close It's -
Michael Shinafelt 

"I'm off the deep end, Watch as I dive in, I'll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface" - "Shallow" Lady Gaga 

This is the song that has been giving me life of late. The above lyrics taken from it is my mantra. I've met the ground before and it's never gonnna happen again, 

Only 13 more days until Halloween, disciples!

Do something that truly scares you this month. Call it perfect timing.

A shout out to my friend Toni Trucks on the success of season two of Seal Team on CBS

Workout selfies are hot

While I am not invested in American Horror Story anymore, I am enjoying the WTF aspect of the current season - Apocalypse 

Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard - Love will keep them together 

That time when someone asked me to spot them $2 at McDonald's and I stated: I have money, but I'm not giving you any - empowering

Why did a Lesbian at the Ralph's confuse my order for two fried chicken legs, with two friend chicken breasts???

Lady Gaga is engaged and the ring cost 400 k - You go! 

Guess what I'm wearing right now, and it isn't appropriate for public viewing (yet it should be)

Constance Langdon

Constance Langdon, Constance Langdon, Constance Langdon 

The new Halloween opens this Friday, ghosts, ghouls & fiends!

Why would you dye your hair hot pink in my bathroom? 

Take it to another level of emotion

Settle in my ghetto at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Hump Day & Chill

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Michael's Musings

Sometimes We All Go A Little Mad...
Michael Shinafelt

OMG! WTF?! Oh, you anagrams stop it! "Yes" it's October and time for my favorite time/month/My Sister/My Daughter of the year Halloween - being it is the 4th of the hallowed month I may be a tad late on the draw. So what I'm still a rock star!

Who else can't wait until October 19th for the new Halloween film, like me? Break out that Michael Myers party mask bitches! 

Repeat after moi, I am a manifestation of wild energy 

As a Witch I command you...

Weird byline of the day - "Meghan Markle Gets Hugged So Hard She Nearly Falls" 

And then there's Analingus

I almost peed myself

For those of you clamoring for The Hills reboot Mischa Barton has now joined the cast

On Thursday's we wear Fuchsia 

Let's have a Molotov Cocktail party

Bradley Cooper

Bradley Cooper, Bradley Cooper, Bradley Cooper 

Tis a pity

Clip!

Something wicked this way comes..."yes" really

Be a dandelion 

Feed me @ -
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt

Freaky Friday

Next Time Use More Red
Lady Gaga & Ryan Seacrest

"When I wake up in my makeup, It's too early for that dress. Wilted and faded somewhere in Hollywood. I'm glad I came here With your pound of flesh" - "Celebrity Skin" Hole

It's that time again. Time to let your hair down and put on some make-up and a turban - "Yes" minions it's Freaky Friday! 

Remember that time Lady Gaga & Ryan Seacrest donned fifty shades of WTF make-up? No, neither do I, but it happened. I have brought you proof.

Wonder if they woke up this way after hitting the town in Hollywood? The actual explanation is probably far more freaky than we could ever venture to guess...

This being stated, Gaga must have some major mojo going on to get Seacrest to join her in something this off the cuff. He is so white bread bland for the most part. This is the edgiest thing I have ever seen from him. 

Given the right partner in crime I'm sure ever the stiffest of individuals will let their freak flag fly from time to time.

That Gaga is such an instigator, there should be a law against her! Not!

It's time to wave your hands in the air like you don't care  Happy Freaky Friday!

Go Gaga at -
https://www.instagram.com/ladygaga/?hl=en

Smells Like Publicity Spirit

Feeling Blue?
Nikki Bella

When I first heard of the break-up of John Cena & Nikki Bella it made me a little sad. These two seem so tailor made for each other, and I am a fan of a happy ending.

It has since been revealed the reason for their parting of the ways is  her wanting to become a Mom and him not wanting to become a Dad. The latest season of their show Total Bellas premiered last night. Leading up to it John has been back paddling on all the talk shows he has been on promoting it by begging Bella to take him back and stating he will have children with her.

OK, I don't know about you, but this smells like one huge PR stunt to me at this point. No one who loves someone as much as he loves her would break-up over something like this in the first place, and then take it back, WTF?! 

If John really didn't want kids that badly he would not budge, period! I'm sure there will be a baby Cena/Bella bun in the oven in the not too distant future. Hope last night's ratings were the highest ever you two - just know you are not fooling this guy.

Total Bellas on the WWW at:
www.eonline.com/TotalBellas‎

WTF?! "China Salesman"

WTF?!

For those out there who are clamoring for that Mike Tyson/Steven Seagal movie, and I am sure there are 2 or 3 of you. Well your wish has finally come true!

CHINA SALESMAN stars Mike Tyson, Steven Seagal, Dong-Xue Li, Janicke Askevold and Li Ai, with Eriq Ebouaney rounding out the cast. It was produced by China's Wanda Corporation, and written and directed by Chinese filmmaker Tan Bing. The film, with a reported budget of over $20 million, premieres theatrically this spring and had previously been a high profile title at last year's AFM.

Based on a true story, CHINA SALESMAN is a film about the dangerous and epic adventure to Africa where a Chinese engineer/salesman comes face-to-face with a corrupt competitor over the contract for the first African mobile telecom technology. Local tribesman Kabbah (Mike Tyson) and mercenary Lauder (Steven Seagal) get drawn into the conflict in a classic, brutal hand-to-hand fight while the entire country faces civil war battles.

CHINA SALESMAN will hit theaters on June 15th and DVD, Blu-ray, and VOD on June 26th.

Pre-order at the MVD Shop and on Amazon

If Your Happy & U Know It...

Clapping On, Clap Off
Laverne Cox & Lea Michele

That's correct peeps it's time to clap your hands! Let's call today the Sunday Clap! 

Look it's Laverne Cox & Lea Michele flapping their respective fins like barking seals at the GLAAD Media Awards in New York City.

What's that??? "No" I have nothing against either of them. It was simply the alternative fact image that came to my mind when I spied this pic on the WWW. So don't get your undies in a bind.

For those of you out there scratching your heads thinking WTF is GLAAD? Well here is the definition - Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. Those of you needing anything further explanation click on the link provided below.

Michael has left the building.

GLAAD online at:
https://www.glaad.org/

Bye, Bye,Bye

That Time When...
NSYNC, Ellen DeGeneres & Carson Daly

When boy band NSYNC disbanded in 2002, I never thought we would hear from them again collectively as a group, individually, of course, but as a whole unit?! 

Just when you thought it was safe to walk down Hollywood Blvd. NSYNC got their star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, yesterday, April 30th 2018. Hence me titling this entry "Bye, Bye, Bye" because it is the only song by the boys that I can recall.

"No" I was not one of their fans. Seriously I don't think I am the target audience for a boy band, not being a teenage girl.

But, when I saw this image of them with Ellen DeGeneres & Carson Daly in tow...WTF?! It made me nostalgic for a simpler, sillier time in the history of the world. "Yes" sometimes I have odd triggers.

So let's kick off this first of May, or May Day as it were with some good vibes. You know you want them.

NSYNC on the WWW at:
https://www.nsync.com/

When Lucy Met Hillary

Got A Secret?
Lucy Hale & Hillary Clinton

As you all know I am a big Pretty Little Liars fan, and I totes can't wait for Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists. 

So as you can imagine I did a total WTF?! Double take when I saw this photo of Lucy Hale and Hillary Clinton together at last on the WWW. 

That's correct minions one of my favorite young actresses from a show I am a fan of, and the person I voted for in the Presidential race together for one brilliant moment in time. My inner teenage girl has been satiated right here right now.

As the story goes the two "bumped into" each other at BeautyCon in NYC. How's that for a random encounter.

No word on whether they exchanged beauty tips or not....

Mic Drop!

Hillary on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton

Lucy on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/lucyhale/?hl=en 

Look Up On The Stage! It's A...

Let Them Eat...
Jared Leto

OK, I get that this is Jared Leto performing with 30 Seconds to Mars at the 02 Arena in London. 

What I don't get is WTF?! is he wearing and why?

Looking at it I see many different things, sun, palm trees...weed. All of which seem perfectly viable answers. If I knew what song he was singing so I could know the lyrics, I bet this odd looking attempt at an afghan would start making sense.

If anybody out there can identify this please let me know.

Jared wears whatever it is well. He could make a potato sack sexy.

Moving on, T.G.I.F!

Jared on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/jaredleto/?hl=en