Michael's Musings

The Quarantine Shuffle
Michael Shinafelt

In this weeks episode of As The Quarantine Turns I got stimulated yesterday. "Yes" that's correct minions, my stimulus check got deposited directly into my bank account. Thanks Nancy Pelosi!

What's that? Yeah, it's time to move sideways, as the world is these days...

WTF? This week on Vanderpump Rules why don't we do an infomercial for LVP's cocktail garden at Caesars Palace? That's exactly what they did, blech!

Overheard: I am not arm candy, I don't shave my pu$$y 

Behind every sh!tty meme is a person that tried to make you smile

You think Quarantine is bad check out the Puddle Of Mudd cover of the Nirvana classic About A Girl. My ears are still bleeding!

Need a mask? A B Cup works better than a D Cup. That is all.

#TBT #ThrowbackThursday Remembering the days when you could find toilet paper at the crocery store - sigh

The longer Quarantine goes, don't you think Jack Nicholson held it together pretty well in The Shining?

Don't let the cat out, no matter what it tells you

Woman Crush of the Week - Dua Lipa because Future Nostalgia is music to my ears

If last night's premiere episode of this season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is any indicator of how the rest of it is going to go - I'm all in!

Give it a name: It's called self care

It took a pandemic for me to learn _________ tell me, by filling in the blank

My new home school

Guess what I'm wearing at present, guess

Find out the answer to that here:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

#TBT: Back To The Cave
Michael Shinafelt

"Oh, let's get back to the cave, No-one ever told us we had time to waste
Oh, let's get back to the cave for a little while, Ah, yeah, for a little while" - Lita Ford

Well this week has been quite the week for memes. Between the State of the Union address, Nancy Pelosi & Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, why darlins' it was a tough call but I did pick the one that really resonated with me most as my favorite.

"Yep" it will be featured below and "No" I am not going to tell you which one it is, you're gonna have to read 'till you get to it. Just say "Yes Sir" - now carry on. 

Saw a Valentine's Day commercial for KY Jelly, nothing says I Love You like lube

Nancy Pelosi gives a whole new meaning to "Clap On, Clap Off"

I've been cutting meat all my life

What looks to be one of it's best, season 9 of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premieres this Tuesday, meow!

I'm sorry I called you a twat. You're welcome

Lemon water burns fat. The more you know.

The Grammy Awards are this weekend aka the night my insomnia ends 

Is your refrigerator running? If so I might vote for it in 2020.

My Favorite Meme This Week

Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists debuts March 20th, I'm giddy right now

This week's word: Slide

Gus Kenworthy will be playing Emma Roberts boyfriend on season 9 of American Horror Story - File this under things that make you go Hmmmmmmm...

Happy Chinese New Year...Oink!

When in doubt strip like Adam Levine 

"Why is no one talking about how, while Glenn Close is extraordinary in “The Wife”, every other performance in the film is horrendous?" - Tony Tripoli, Comedian 

Come back to my cave at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

Join My Army
Michael Shinafelt

In what has got to be one of the most WTF weeks ever, I am here to enlist you to join my Army. From the random and weird Golden Globe ceremony to the dangerous random and weird rantings of a spoiled brat would be POS dictator B!tch Baby.

My Army is truth, care come along?

Lady Gaga won Best Actress from The National Board of Review - she will not be ignored HFPA!

The rantings of a lunatic, Donald Trump (I can't call him President, I didn't vote for this F#cking Sh!t) was shot down in the ratings by Nancy Pelosi - Bang, Bang MotherF@ker!

It's not like I can put the weenie back in the bottle

Start by telling me the earliest memory of your middle finger

FYI - I have had four boyfriends and Satan has hated them all

Instead of watching that POS bitch about his waaaaaaaaalll, I viewed Lindsay Lohan's Becah Club on MTV - a train wreck in many of the ways that you'd expect. Threat to the safety and well being of others...zero!!!

I'm a little bit Buddhist, I'm also a lot Rock-N-Roll

King Slut

D-List Euro Socialites - discuss

Giving Zero F#cks
Sarah Paulson & James McAvoy

Sarah Paulson is giving you everything you need today in this shot from the Glass premiere (with James McAvoy) in London.

Note to self: Why the Hell is R. Kelly not locked up???

What's a nice whore like you doing in Arizona?

Sometimes you feel like a twunt, sometimes you don't

Today is the mysterious anniversary of the day I buried my last F#ck 

Bury your last F#ck with me at -
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https://twitter.com/MShinafelt