Michael's Musings

Horny For Halloween
Michael Shinafelt

This week is a special edition of my column. In case you haven't figured out that means my focus will be on Halloween this coming Monday, then I have no response to that.

Time to let loose the devil inside!

Did you know there is a line of Halloween costumes out based on the raunchy R-rated movie Sausage Party? You too can dress as a douche and offer yourself and your services up as a treat,

I am the terror that flaps in the night. That is all.

Heidi Klum always rocks the best costumes. Can't wait to see what she comes up with this year. 

“No tears please, it’s a waste of good suffering.” - Pinhead, Hellraiser 

How about that clown scare this year?

Someone decided to make Hollywood Great again and smash Donald Trump's star on the Walk of Fame with a sledgehammer the day of Hillary Clinton's Birthday. What a nice Halloween treat, and Happy Birthday Madam President!

If I were a witch, I would cast spells, kill people and stuff...

"Nothing Human Loves Forever" - tag line for my favorite vampire film, The Hunger 

Let's crack open a bottle of wine and Ouija.

My all time favorite horror film is John Carpenter's Halloween. Only scary movie that ever really got under my skin, and, well scared the fuck outta me!

This Halloween I plan on attending the West Hollywood Halloween Carnival. The amount of alcohol consumed there both scares and impresses me.

Get Ghoulish with me on Instagram & Twitter at: 
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt     

Gwyneth Paltrow Cleanses Her Vagina

Gwyneth Paltrow: Fresher Than a Summer's Eve

Gwyneth Paltrow steamed out the contents of her V-spot and spilled it all on Goop. 

Yes, that's right folks, the G Spot took to her lifestyle site Goop and wrote about an expensive (quell surprise) Santa Monica retreat called Tikkun Holistic Spa.

"The real golden ticket here is the Mugworth V-Steam: You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al." 

The spa's site gives a history of the art of vagina steaming , explaining that it has been utilized in Korea "for hundreds of years" and helps to "maintain internal health" and keeps "skin looking young and healthy. The procedure involves the placement of boiled leaves and flower buds on a "specific area of the body" for "detoxication." 

Heralded as "the talk of the town," the V-Steam will cost you $50 for a 30-minute treatment.

Now THAT is one high end douche!

You're Never Fully Dressed Without a V-Steam at:
http://www.tikkunspa.com/

Pour Some Goop On It: 
http://goop.com/

Helen Keller Had A Pitbull, So Does Josh Mitchell

"A Boston publicist moves to LA with his girlfriend-actress to live the dream but his world is turned upside down when a rival competitor creates a lie about him on Ripoff Report. To worsen matters, his girlfriend is diagnosed with terminal breast cancer and her final dying wish is to get a pitbull. As he mourns her tragic loss he is forced to make nice with his new furry friend while he works to get revenge on his enemy and restore his company's name" -

This is the storyline for Writer/Director/Producer & Star Josh Mitchell's indie opus "Helen Keller Had A Pitbull".

Using events from his own life and combining it with his love of Pitbulls, Josh knocked out the script for "Helen Keller" in two weeks!

Well it's time to hear more from the face of Wickid Pissa Publicity and find out why Pitbulls are the new black....Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Josh!

MS: So Josh, getting an indie film made is a tough go, what motivated you to do it?

JM: Making this movie was pricey but I am old school, I believe you have to introduce yourself to the industry instead of waiting for opportunities. Like what Sylvester Stallone did, he locked himself in a hotel room for three days and wrote "Rocky". Look at the guys who did "Swingers" now Jon Favreau he's now directing things like "Iron Man" These were unknown actors rather than waiting for that knock on the door they knocked the doors down. I wanted something that would showcase me as a Writer/Director/Producer and Actor. So I took my real life experiences, the time I was coming from Boston as a publicist to Hollywood, infused them with some nuggets and lessons, things that I encountered and Hollywood-ized them a little bit. As you know in Hollywood you can run into some really interesting characters. (laughs)

MS: Oh you sure can. (laughs)

Celine Wallace & Josh Mitchell

JM: There are those and others who are diamonds in the rough.

MS: What about the part of the storyline where someone created lies about you on the Ripoff Report, is that true?

JM: Yeah, when I was coming from Boston from Hollywood I wanted to get all my clients together and have a party to announce my move to Hollywood I wanted to do a big splash so I had it at The W Hotel. What I thought would be a couple hundred people, something where I could walk people around and introduce them, well it caught on like "Gremlins" in the shower and turned into this huge event (laughs) fifteen hundred people!

MS: Whoa! 

JM: I got approached by somebody who owned a magazine, they said they wanted to help with the party and bring some different dynamics to the table. So I thought why not? The short end of the story is that it went pretty good, we had a great working relationship, but come the day of the party I got a lot of the shine at the event and the guy got jealous. Basically he tried to pin some fake charges on me. He kept pestering me, putting stuff on Facebook, so I finally did what I should have done at the get go and Googled him. This whole thing about him came up on the Ripoff Report, how he cheats on his wife, does cocaine, burned people at Playboy parties, blah, blah, blah. I'm a Boston guy and speak the raw truth and don't do well when people try to bully me. So I straight up said to him "I don't deal with scam artists, I will expose you" I grabbed the link and sent it to him. Two days later one showed up on me!

MS: What a douche!

JM: There are two reasons I wanted to make this movie. One was to be a champion of the Pitbull breed and two expose this scandalous and Un-American site called Ripoff Report. It's unbelievable what they can do to people. Listen I did not get that affected by it, my business actually tripled since that showed up on me. (laughs) 

MS: That site should be shut down.

JM: What I did with this film is payback, the guy will know it is about him, but I did it in a subtle and smart way. Basically I wanted to write a movie that was personal, the script flowed out me in two weeks. I covered my coming to Hollywood, and when I got here my girlfriend was working at  The East Valley Animal Shelter and rescued two Pitbulls. She'd walk the dogs no one wanted to walk and one day she asked me to come with her. We enjoyed this one dog that kind of stood out his name was "Marty" he was this handsome, beautiful vibrant dog and the animal people walked by and said he was going to be put down on Saturday. 

MS: Hearing things like that always make me sad.

JM: My girlfriend and I both looked at each other and we're like, "no you're not". Kristen found a home for another Pitbull in Arizona and Marty came to live with us. Like most people I had pre-conceived notions about the breed, I didn't have any experience with them, but now I can see how beautiful these dogs are. Pitbulls are unbelievable animals who have been wrongly cast as villains in the media. I love my dog he is amazing and has changed my whole mental outlook about things.

MS: So tell me did Helen Keller really have a Pitbull?

JM: She did! In fact that's what got my creative juices flowing and gave me the idea for the movie. One day Kristen said "Did you know Helen Keller had a Pitbull" - a light went off in my head that said "That's an indie film"! 

Go "Pitbull" check out the trailer and full length movie at: 
www.vimeo.com/ondemand/helenkellerhadapitbull

Join the Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/HelenKellerHadAPitbull?fref=ts

Visit Josh at: www.wickidpissapublicity.com