Michael's Musings

My Knickers Are In A Twist
Michael Shinafelt

So something magical happened this week. How magical was it you may be wondering??? 

Well if I was a Unicorn I'd wanna be Courtney Hadwin. While I never watch America's Got Talent, thanks to a certain something called Social Media someone I am friends with on Facebook posted her audition for the show. WTF?! She's a mere 14 years old and sings like that? Whoa!

Here are some more thoughts on AGT and such...

So, Tyra Banks is the host of America's Got Talent now. When I saw her on it the song "Sweet Transvestite" from The Rocky Horror Picture Show sprang to the forefront of my mind.

What if Courtney Hadwin, had won AGT? (I heard she didn't) - whatever she got the exposure and will have a fantastic career. 

PS and who are the F#cking F#cks that didn't make her Queen of the F#cking ball?!?!

Angry Unicorn, discuss...

Don't be jealous of my ______ you know what people are jealous of regarding you. Tell me all about it whores. 

Raindrops on roses, and whisker biscuits 

Surrender the pink 

Eat the orange

I'll take a G-Eazy with a heaping slice of cheese, please

Byline of the week "Jessie J opens up about her infertility" Ummmmmm....

Heidi Klum

Heidi Klum, Heidi Klum, Heidi Klum

Just Because...Oink!

If there isn't anything you wouldn't do, name it after someone you don't like

Guess what? I don't care because I'm half Queer

Wanna be starting something? Follow me at: 
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Two Of A Kind

Bravo!
Heidi Klum & Tim Gunn

When in New York do what New Yorker's do - strut. That's exactly what fashionistas Heidi Klum & Tim Gunn from Project Runway were spotted doing recently on the streets of the Big Apple. 

Seeing can be deceiving. What appears to be a friendly stroll, I'm willing to bet is pretty much business as usual, because production of Season 17 of Project Runway is underway. 

Oh, and there's more. It's getting back to it's roots and airing on the network it was made for to begin with Bravo. "Yes" Andy Cohen is wetting himself as we engage via the WWW.

While I am sure Heidi & Tim adore each other, let's face it, outside of their famed juggernaut they have quite separate lives. Thus what could bring them together for so much quality time? Common ground.

The latest season on the catwalk is set to air in 2019, now that it's back where it should be I will have to start watching again. Yeah, I didn't get the whole Lifetime vibe, sorry, not sorry.

Project Runway on Bravo at:
http://www.bravotv.com/project-runway 

I've Been Slimed!

Pretty in Slime
Heidi Klum

The Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards aired last night. While I never watch them, because, duh, I am not their target audience. I have a fondness for their tradition of sliming celebrities who appear on the show. Is that goo still on the market BTW? I really loved it as a kid.

Well my lust for slime was fulfilled this ayem when I spotted an photo of one Ms. Heidi Klum getting doused with the gooey confection on stage during the show last night at The Forum in Los Angeles.

Personally I love Heidi, she is such a game girl and never takes herself too seriously. Also who doesn't love to see a beautiful woman get slimed??? 

On that note, I am feeling the need for slime myself. Now where to find it...

Heidi on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/heidiklum/?hl=en 

Fashion, Turn To The Left...

Designing Duo
Heidi Klum & Adam Lambert

Fashion it inspires, it's creative and it can make for some interesting bedfellows. Case in point, behold this capture of Heidi Klum enjoying the company of Adam Lambert at Morais Collection 6 Fashion Show in the City of Angels.

Both from very different sectors of the Entertainment world yet their paths crossed all in the name of fashion. 

Heidi is looking rather low key for her in this photo and Adam is looking low key for him as well, but yummy nonetheless. 

Now the real question is, what did these two exchange sound bites about? I will venture a guess and say they exchanged tips about...fashion!

Heidi on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/heidiklum/?hl=en

Adam on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/adamlambert/?hl=en  

Model Behavior???

Constant Craving
Heidi Klum

Well now, here's a rare sighting, a super model dining on a to go bag from McDonald's. Yep, you read this correctly and your eyes are not playing tricks on you. While making a mad dash from the airport one Ms. Heidi Klum was photographed scarfing down on a bag full of grub from the famous fast food chain. Say that three times fast, I dare ya!

Since I have been dieting hard core for the past week, and by dieting I mean eating healthy etc...not starving myself. OK, back to what I wanted to say, I felt all sorts of hunger pangs and somewhat jealous that Heidi was eating junk food and still looks amazing. While I being a mere mortal eating such would look like Violet Beauregarde from Willie Wonka minus the blue hue if I noshed a nibble of what she was having. 

File this under: life is not fair, unless you are Heidi Klum.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to get back to my smoothie before I head out to my spin class. 

Heidi on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/heidiklum/?hl=en 

Michael's Musings

Horny For Halloween
Michael Shinafelt

This week is a special edition of my column. In case you haven't figured out that means my focus will be on Halloween this coming Monday, then I have no response to that.

Time to let loose the devil inside!

Did you know there is a line of Halloween costumes out based on the raunchy R-rated movie Sausage Party? You too can dress as a douche and offer yourself and your services up as a treat,

I am the terror that flaps in the night. That is all.

Heidi Klum always rocks the best costumes. Can't wait to see what she comes up with this year. 

“No tears please, it’s a waste of good suffering.” - Pinhead, Hellraiser 

How about that clown scare this year?

Someone decided to make Hollywood Great again and smash Donald Trump's star on the Walk of Fame with a sledgehammer the day of Hillary Clinton's Birthday. What a nice Halloween treat, and Happy Birthday Madam President!

If I were a witch, I would cast spells, kill people and stuff...

"Nothing Human Loves Forever" - tag line for my favorite vampire film, The Hunger 

Let's crack open a bottle of wine and Ouija.

My all time favorite horror film is John Carpenter's Halloween. Only scary movie that ever really got under my skin, and, well scared the fuck outta me!

This Halloween I plan on attending the West Hollywood Halloween Carnival. The amount of alcohol consumed there both scares and impresses me.

Get Ghoulish with me on Instagram & Twitter at: 
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt     

Heidi Klum Is "In" For Halloween

Model/Personality & Resident Dominatrix of Project Runway, Heidi Klum not only knows what works in the world of fashion but also knows how to "make it work" when it comes to Halloween.

Thus in honor of it being Project Runway Thursday, I thought I would give you three Spook-tacular looks by the style icon and let you decide if she is in, or out...

Enjoy the catwalk tonight and Auf Widersehen!                                                
                                               

Say Goodbye to Colors Being Sad at: 

https://www.facebook.com/HeidiKlum

https://www.facebook.com/projectrunway

Project Runway: Shark Eater Out!

It's Mistress Heidi!!!

It's Thursday, and time for another Project Runway!

Last week we saw the elimination of Charketa Glover aka Shark Eater Glover - Which brings me to the reason I love watching PR...It's hilarious! 

Heidi Klum is awesome, she is a dominatrix with Elmer Fudd's voice, and every time she uttered Charketa's name even though she was pronouncing it correctly her lovely accent always butchers someone's name or other words that come out of her mouth. Thus Charketa will always be Shark Eater to me, because honestly that is what it sounded like Heidi was saying. C'mon you know you all thought it too!

I love it when her accent mangles something she says, it makes for a great laugh. While were at it let's address some Heidi-isms that bowl me over too, for instance when she says "You're Out" - even though I know it won't happen the delivery is so stern I keep waiting for her to break out her riding crop and give the losing contestant a good smack on the ass.

Also you gotta enjoy when she says "The color is sad" - I admit that particular one I have replayed a few times, it's always good for comedic effect.

Then there is Tim Gunn the designers mentor. His droll criticism is hilarious and when he does the "Vagina Hands" your know when he touches his finger tips together while looking thoughtful into the "V" shape, yeah you know the "Vagina Hands?"

Well I am betting a lot of you call them that like me, why you may ask? Talent Manager Marki Costello had a reality show on E! called The Drama Queen while she was coaching an actor she yelled out Don't do the "Vagina Hands" like Tim Gunn at them. Suddenly I felt completely validated that I was not the only one whose mind went there, so if someone else thinks and states it other than myself that means there are more of you out there, it's OK now know you are not alone.

A special shout to Nina Garcia who is a class act bitch on the show, her criticism is honest and cuts like a knife, but she still comes off with an air of elegance while stabbing you on national TV.

Oh that reminds me every time Heidi let's Nina's name roll off her tongue it sounds like there is going to be a bitch slapping that never materializes...Honestly who cares who wins, the show is flat out funny!

Make It Work at: http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/project-runway