Michael's Musings

Doe Your Mama Know?
Michael Shinafelt

Happy Thanksgiving Minions! If you are a turkey and you get scared, does that make you a chicken?

BTW does your Mama know? 

If it she does hopefully it's with waffles and some Cabernet. I'm packing at present, take that however you want, time to tap Turkey Day!

I taste heaven from my knees, hope you do too!

Here comes the judge! (give it a name)

Einstein Speaking

It's that time of year again when Satan gets letters asking for presents from the dyslexic children

All men are the same! BTW Who told you to try all of them! 

Harry Morton passed at 38, Damn! 

Something I am thankful for is where I have been and where I am going. It's been a long uphill battle. If you hang in there it truly only gets better 😄

Fatal Attraction
Glenn Close & Michael Douglas 

In case you aren't doing turkey this Thanksgiving, try rabbit stew...

Kiss it goodbye, you ain't ever gonna get it again

Tease it to Heaven, spray it to Hell 

Time to get your Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on! 

Woman Crush of the Week -Tina Turner just turned 80, Hail Queen!

"I am 100 percent sure that people who re-tweet their own tweets have also attempted to suck their own dick" - I 100% agree Whitney Cummings

Grab your booze and let's celebrate Thanksgiving!

There was that one time, well if you want to find out more, follow me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Monday Motivation

Wake Up, Sleepy Head!
Michael Myers

Wow! Only 10 more days until, well you know...Halloween!!! I am having a bit of an issue jump starting my day. Thus I, like I am sure many of you do, need me some good old fashioned Monday Motivation.

Today I have enlisted someone to help you get that MM running, literally, it's a totally different MM, Michael Myers! Since Halloween is his jam I thought "Who better?"

I mean seriously, if Michael wielding a big ole blade at you does not put some pep in your step, well then I guess he's already killed you. "Yes" you are lazy and unmotivated if MM came at you, that you didn't get motivated enough to get it together and run!

BTW next Halloween MM is back in the follow up to Halloween 2018, Halloween Kills. Oh yes, and there will be blood, yours specifically if you don't get your Monday Motivation cranking full speed ahead into your day. Right here, right now....remember The Boogeyman is real!

Halloween Kills on IMDb -
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10665338/?ref_=nv_sr_1?ref_=nv_sr_1

Hump Day & Chill

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Walk The Dinosaur

Dino-Mite!
Chris Pratt

"Open the door, get on the floor, Everybody walk the dinosaur" - Was (Not Was)

When I spied this photo of Chris Pratt posing with a Dinosaur to promote the latest Jurassic World opus - Fallen Kingdom in London, well I couldn't help but post it.

Oh, and BTW the reasons have nothing to do with the movie, of which I have no intention of seeing. First off the image is dynamic. Secondly Pratt looks cute in it. Third and most important of all it took me back to my youth in the 80's - 1988 to be exact when the group Was (Not Was) had a hit song called Walk The Dinosaur.

How's that for random, yet fun?! Trivia at it's finest.

What's that? Who walks a dinosaur? What a silly song, you say? Literal it was not euphemism it was, that's correct, Yoda taught me this in the 80's as well.

Mic Drop! 

Chris Pratt on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/prattprattpratt/?hl=en  

Michael's Musings

A Walking Study In Demonology
Michael Shinafelt

This is the week that was, and shall be forever and ever. Seven days in a life, seventy ways to do whatever you want.

Oh, it's time for me to bring it! R U ready?!?!

Having lost 43lbs. "Yes" I am down to 170, from 213. I have readjusted my goal weight from 165 to 163. Seriously who wants to say they have lost 48lbs, when they could say they lost 50?!

In case you didn't hear Prince Harry & Meghan Markle got hitched this past weekend

BTW - is your butt crack so numb you can't feel a string?

Sometimes you have to rebel and not get the F#ck out of bed

What ever you wouldn't do, name it after me

Entertain Me former Teen Idol fave Mike Clifford has something coming June 11th that will blow your collective nads off - 
Keep up with him here: https://www.facebook.com/MikeCliffordsWonderfulWorld/

Just Because...Dirty Dog

52 & Fabulous!
Brooke Shields

Brooke Shields did a sizzling bikini layout, she's 52. That's correct minions Brooke and I have something in common. We are both 52 and our bodies are hot!

Why are there so many songs about _____ it's time to fill in the blank!

Got penis breath?

Just saw a byline that states: "Caitlyn Jenner Opens Up" - Thanks for that image, not!

Kevin Federline wants more child support from Britney Spears - Translation: I'm a deadbeat "Feed Me!"

Little boxes, discuss

Trader Joe's has a pepperoni pizza/mac & cheese bowl. File Under: things that make you wanna hurl

Who's That Guy? Find out at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/mshinafelt?lang=en

I've Been Slimed!

Pretty in Slime
Heidi Klum

The Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards aired last night. While I never watch them, because, duh, I am not their target audience. I have a fondness for their tradition of sliming celebrities who appear on the show. Is that goo still on the market BTW? I really loved it as a kid.

Well my lust for slime was fulfilled this ayem when I spotted an photo of one Ms. Heidi Klum getting doused with the gooey confection on stage during the show last night at The Forum in Los Angeles.

Personally I love Heidi, she is such a game girl and never takes herself too seriously. Also who doesn't love to see a beautiful woman get slimed??? 

On that note, I am feeling the need for slime myself. Now where to find it...

Heidi on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/heidiklum/?hl=en 

So Long Summer?

Coming In For A Landing
Derek Hough

Even though fall doesn't officially begin until September 22, Labor Day marks the end of summer symbolically because it is the last holiday weekend of the season.

That being said while summer is headed into the twilight stage, the summer weather will go on with all of 2017'a crazy heat waves.

So let's bid adieu to the season with this shot of Dancing With The Stars Derek Hough playing Frisbee at the beach.

While Derek doesn't do much for me on the Schwing meter I will state I would like to have a body like his. Evenly proportioned with just the right amount of ripple.

BTW word is Mr. Hough got sand in his mug on the way down.

Ciao Summer!

Derek on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/derekhough/?hl=en 

"I'm Sick Of Your Lip" Jillian Barberie

Ouch!
Jillian Barberie 

Jillian Barberie is one of my favorite people. She was generous enough to grant me an interview when she was hosting Good Day LA and I was just starting my writing career. So off I trotted to the GDLA green room at FOX she walked in and couldn't have been more gracious.

Sadly she is no longer on the local morning talk show, and needless to say I have stopped watching. But I have kept up with Jillian on Facebook and Twitter, naturally. 

For those of you who may be unfamiliar with this dynamo here is her intro quote from her Facebook page:

"No hair extensions & my boobs are real. Take THAT LA! Oh & I'm in lotsa TV, movies & stuff."

Recently she lost a chunk of her lip to a Cocker Spaniel, and needed 10 stitches to fix the gash...Yikes!

Jillian, ever the animal lover and animal rights activist had this to say about it:

"Well, Last night (this morning) my friends dog took a big chunk out of my lip. 10 stitches later...Oh my beautiful face! It has been ruined!! LOL (kidding) 

Surgeon said I'll be fine. I have other puncture wounds I didn't know I had because Doctor gave me something called Norco. 


BTW: The dog wasn't being aggressive. As you know, I am a dog lover and took the risk. He had just lost his best friend last week, I was holding him and CRUNCH! There goes my beautiful, glamorous, sultry pouty lip! Too much I love you. LOL. Really, I'm gonna be fine."

Word on the Internet is that Jillian's sultry pouty lip is ready for it's comeback!

Follow Jillian at:
https://twitter.com/askjillian
https://www.instagram.com/askjillian/?hl=en
https://www.facebook.com/JillianBarberieReynolds?fref=ts   

Staying Relevant With Cheryl Tiegs

Simply Beautiful!
Ashley Graham

A memory of my youth was the hot selling poster of one Ms. Cheryl Tiegs. Beautiful to look at and very accessible. 

Not sure what has happened to Ms. Tiegs in recent years. While she is still gorgeous and looks amazing, why is she shading plus size models?! OK, we get it, you weren't one, but seriously?!

Cheryl had this to say about equally beautiful Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover model Ashley Graham:

"Actually I don't like it that we're talking about full-figured women because it's glamorizing them and your waist should be smaller than 35 inches. That's what Dr. Oz said, and I'm sticking to it."

First off we are all built differently, I personally would like to look like some of the guys in my spin class, but guess the fuck what?  I don't! Oh, and I am still comfortable in my own skin, so there. While I understand where the comment was coming from, models in glass houses should not throw stones. 

Pretty on the Outside
Cheryl Tiegs

Yes, Cheryl I am calling your ass out! You look way too thin, like you could be toppled over with a feather, and you really need a face lift. BTW Ashley is sporting a size 30 waist, ignorance is bliss baby! 

Let's place some bets here, I bet Ashley is going to get film offers too. Well, I feel certain she won't need to appear in anything like "The Brown Bunny" or resort to quoting Dr. Oz to stay relevant. 

Here is your humble pie, I made it just for you Cheryl! 

Get real with Ashley at:
https://www.instagram.com/theashleygraham/?hl=en  

Bo Derek Is A Perfect: Sharknado 3

Bo Derek: Look, Tarzan, It's My Jane

OMG! Imagine my excitement when I found out, Bo Derek was cast as Tara Reid's Mom (I try to refrain from the term "Mother" for many reasons) in Sharknado 3 ! Well if you can't, let me explain.

Bo Derek was a HUGE sex symbol when I grew up. Thus she was my first girl crush, I had a BD poster on my wall, if you don't believe me ask my Mom (again, not Mother).

When I first saw this striking beauty in the late Blake Edwards progressive sexual comedy "10" with the great, and also late Dudley Moore, I was in L-O-V-E!

Oh and BTW I was too young to see the film and saw it on Showtime with a friend behind my parents backs. However they then took myself and my sister to see my most favorite Bo film of all time, Tarzan The Ape Man - campy, awesome, brilliant and it made her and her deceased husband Jon Derek a fortune as they owned the rights.

Hey, Fashion House with her and Morgan Fairchild was pretty awesome too!

Congrats Bo, can't wait!

Go Bo at: http://officialboderek.com/