Michael's Musings

Put On Your Best Sunday Dress
Michael Shinafelt 

This has been one of those weeks, not bad, not good, not even in between - indifferent. Yeah they are the ones that befuddle the senses and make your mind go Hmmmmmmm... but at least they are uneventful and they do tend to have an odd calm about them even though they aren't entirely smooth. 

They are just so very, day by day, which isn't a bad or good thing, it simply is, always and will be, much like a constant craving, sands of the hourglass, blah, blah, blah - It's time to release the Kraken!

Apparently you are not allowed to wear the Queen's tiaras, what would you do?

Gird your loins

In dog years you're still a twat

Alexa, get me some ______ fill in the blank, it yours to enjoy! 

Coffee in the morning? Groundbreaking...

I'm going to name it after you

Him: I can't figure you out

Me: Many have tried 

All the boys and all the girls are begging to if you seek Amy

Sonja Morgan of the Captain Morgan, Morgan's 

"I play the ukulele, and I sing, too" - Marilyn Monroe as Sugar Kane "Some Like It Hot"

A prequel to Grease is in the works, we now officially live in Hell

I don't wanna be buried in Pet Semetary - who am I kidding, I'd love to come back from the dead as a homicidal version of my former self!

Do you believe in the power of rubber baby buggy bumpers?

It's Showtime!

Want to see something really scary? Follow me at: 

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https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Just Because...RHONY Season 11 Taglines

Absolutely Fabulous
The Real Housewives of New York City

With season 11 of The Real Housewives of New York City approaching on Wednesday March 6 on Bravo I thought I would get silly on Sunday. (say that three times fast)

The new opening taglines have been revealed. Normally I would not post about such nonsense, but there is one in particular I LOVE!!! However to play fair I will post them all and save the best for last.

Here we go...

Luann de Lesseps: "I plead guilty…to being fabulous."

Ramona Singer: "The only thing I'll settle for is more."

Tinsley Mortimer: "Game, set, now, I need a match."

Bethenny Frankel: "When life gives me limes, I make margaritas."

Dorinda Medley: "If you've got a problem with me, it's your problem!"

And my favorite goes to, drum roll please...Sonja Morgan! 

Sonja Morgan: "People call me over the top, but lately I prefer being a bottom."

Leave it to Sonja to make a gay joke, and an astute one at that. Say what you will about her, but she's fearless! 

The RHONYC on the WWW at:
https://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city 

Michael's Musings

Contemplating My Navel
Michael Shinafelt

It's that time of the week again where I am mostly peace, love and light, and a little go f#ck yourself. 

Trying to keep the negative to a minimum because there just isn't enough of that going down every single day.

Shall we commence? Yes, we shall...

Best headline of the week: Wonder Woman Tops Tom Cruise - cheeky!

During the week, it's the Tranny Bike

What are you? A sex machine with a cash register between your legs?

This week on Pretty Little Liars Aria got busted for being shady AF, Hanna & Caleb got married, Spencer & Toby had sex, only two episodes left, and the world keeps turning.

All Demi Moore wants for Christmas is her two front teeth

Ooooooooo, I too am dying to know if Beyonce is in labor, not!

Why is it everyone is so obsessed with seeing celebrity babies? They're going to look like a baby, we've all seen one before, get a grip.

Lipstick & Muffin Girl, think about it...

The first thing I do when I get home is take off my pants

On this season of the Real Housewives of New York, Sonja Morgan is a total jealous loser

A health conscious hooker, how 90's

Is there anything Katy Perry won't do to sell her latest album?

On that note so to speak it's time for me to start getting ready to hit the spin bike, ciao!

Keep up with me here, there & everywhere at:

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Michael's Musings

When I Think About You I...
Michael Shinafelt

Hello from the other side. While Trump continues to be the biggest punchline to everything all over the globe, life goes on. 

There is really so much beauty in world, like plastic bags tayin' in da win, Unicorn poop and rainbows. OK, kidding about the Unicorn poop, or am I? Remember anything is possible and don't call me Yentl. 

Shall we proceed? Computer says "yes"...

The Trumps visiting the Pope. The Pope looked like he needed an Exorcism in the photos.

I'm in the mood, come on give it up

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. Werd!

Tinsley Mortimer has a hotter vag than Sonja Morgan. Sonja needs to get over her jealousy tour.

Turning tricks with my crucifix. Someone has to.

I know Vampires who have aged more than Pamela Anderson. Don't judge me by the company I keep.

l-r Myself, Mike Clifford & Ivan 

Yesterday I celebrated the success of my friend Mike Clifford's video. It's a dance cover of  "What A Wonderful World" - we had a "wonderful" lunch at Casita Del Campo check Mike out on the net here: https://www.facebook.com/MikeCliffordsWonderfulWorld/

Beware of the trash that will not burn

Congratulations to Troian Bellisario aka Spencer Hastings. She directed the best episode thus far of Pretty Little Liars this season. Only five more to go until it the show ends. Yes, I am sad.

Hating people takes too much energy, pretend that they're dead

Helpful Hint: Never drink Tejava Tea (which I love) after you have had a fruit smoothie. The combination of acids made me hurl.

I wonder what the world would be like if I had Bette Davis Eyes?

Come & Get Me at:

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https://twitter.com/MShinafelt    

RHONYC: "It Still Looks Like A Big Ball Sack"

Got Vagina?
Real Housewives Of New York City

"It still looks like a big ball sack. My vagina definitely doesn't match my personality. I don't identify with her at all. Is my vagina going to go back to the perfect pistachio" - Jules Wainstein

This season on the The Real Housewives of New York City it's a whole lot of vagina!
One of my BFF's and fellow "Housewives" fan Karen Castrischer-Stegall stated it best: 
"Why is it necessary for a vagina to be a story line?!"

Ratings I am assuming? It all started with my spirit animal Bethenny Frankel's excessive bleeding. Then moved over to Jules Wainstein's vaginal tear (great name for a Drag Queen, right Karen?!)

Thus the insightful quote from Ms. Wainstein above...

Got vagina questions?

Well tune into The Real Housewives of New York City - Countess Luann is above it all, hey she's getting married after four weeks of knowing her fiance', her vagina is obviously just fine!

RHONYC at:
www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city