"Spread Your Legs!" Keeping Up With The Kardashians

Where's The Guacamole?!
Khloe Kardashian

"I'm gonna get guacamole up your vagina right now. Spread your legs. Tell her to spread her legs." Kourtney Kardashian to Khloe Kardasian during a food fight involving, duh, guacamole. 

OK, while I am not a rabid Kardashian fan, I do admit to being a casual observer. Define that you say? Well each weeks new episode is the soundtrack to my early morning (I wake up at five) work schedule. In other words one of the shows that is great background noise while I am on the computer. 

That being stated it's quotes like the above one that keep me coming back for more sound bites. It certainly isn't the "drama" and the staged ways it is dealt with. Also I have to admit I have a special fondness for Khloe Kardashian. 

Khloe, always the straight shooter is a woman after my own heart. She is the one I know I could hang with and have a blast as we would be on the same page. Below are fifteen Khloe Kuotes that I have selected that sound like things I say and text to my friends & loved ones. Don't you wish you were on my list of contacts now???

1. “I hear the pitter-patter of a dinosaur.” – On hearing mom Kris Jenner’s footsteps approaching.

2. “Wow my sister has changed. She used to whip her boobs out for no reason. Now she does it to feed her child.” – On sister Kourtney Kardashian becoming a mom.

3. "Sometimes a b**ch snaps."

4. "It's haunting me for the rest of my life" – On Kim’s song “Jam.”

5. “Droopy balls? Buy briefs! A bra for your balls!” – Via Twitter.

6. “Your hair is, like, shorter than a vagina’s bush.” – To mom Kris after a haircut.

7. “I could maybe hit it better if they were black balls.” – To Bruce Jenner, on golfing.

8. “I’m Khloe. My sisters say I am a b**ch.”

9. “Hi Satan!” – Addressing mom Kris on the phone.

10. "Are you going to be a boring whore your whole life?" – To one of her sisters.

11. “Sorry, Sir, I curse a lot.”

12. “I have a nipple obsession and personally love when women show their nipples— perhaps I was a member of a nudist colony in my last life.” – On her sheer X-Factor top.

13. "A little bun in the oven. Your ass is gonna be so big." – On Kim’s pregnancy.

14. "I am gonna turn into an alcoholic tonight."

15. "Don’t go into the ocean while on your period because a shark is going to attack you."

Keep Up With Khloe at: 
https://twitter.com/khloekardashian
https://www.instagram.com/khloekardashian/   

Cindy Alexander Is Some Kind Of "Wonderful"

Cindy Alexander

Award winning singer and songwriter, Cindy Alexander knows a thing or two about being "Wonderful".

Check out this wonderfully funny excerpt from her Bio:

"I’m a Mom of twin girls and my life is a whirlwind of pretend-play, Yo Gabba Gabba, toddler germs and MUSIC. I spend a lot of time at Target. I used to have my toe nails polished at all times but now they are on the back burner until Chip tells me I look “ghetto” and begs me to go to the salon. I love those days…at the salon, not being called “ghetto.” I crave guacamole, constantly (except when I was pregnant). I can turn any conversation into a song. I cry easily but I laugh even easier. I give everything away. I’m loyal to a fault. I’m moody. I clench my jaw when I sleep sometimes. I love my family. They love me too. My nickname is “pnut” (like peanut). I have the greatest friends on earth. I have very few socks that match. Somewhere there is a black hole with all my miscellaneous socks….and my guitar picks. I’m lucky and I’m blessed. I am passionate about cancer prevention, awareness and finding a cure. Add to that heart disease. I believe in Love. I Love. And I am Loved. And some people say that I’m a highly functioning dysfunctional, the most organized disorganized person you will ever meet but I manage to get stuff done…eventually. I agree with them. Oh, and I write songs and sing to say relatively sane"


Ha! Well in case you haven't guessed it the amazing Cindy has a new song out with the moniker "Wonderful"

So Cindy, define "Wonderful" for us...

"The song is about self acceptance and not needing anyone else's validation. Wonderful - that which embodies a sense of delight, joy, spirit and a little extra somethin'"

Right on! There's something to be said for self love, uh, does that sound weird? Whatever it doesn't matter, because hey I don't need your validation and I'm gonna go and express my sense of joy and check out the song and video for Cindy's "Wonderful" join me...by clicking on the link after the jump!

The Video for "Wonderful" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzZoMVqrV5g

Got Cindy? Log on to: http://www.cindyalexander.com/