Michael's Musings

I Think I'm Going...
Michael Shinafelt

"Let me hear you say, this shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S" - Gwen Stefani, Hollaback Girl 

Going bananas this Holiday season minions?! My reality? Mine is to carry on with the least possible amount of static. Do you get my vibe? I am 100% positive you do. Carry on...

I have a confession to make, My name is Michael I am a Sagittarius I'll be your master tonight - and BTW my Birthday is this coming Tuesday...

Meghan Markle & Prince Harry apparently have creepy wax figures. Honestly are there really any other kind?!

"I have yet to find a top good enough to make the girls stay put" - A Busty Female Friend Of Mine

Why be an elf on a shelf, when you can be a whore in a drawer? I ask you? Answer me!

On the first day of Christmas...according to the song there are merely 12 days of this. Yet I feel there have been 90. It started around October 1st...

What's next? Meth Addicts protesting "All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth?"

Never be a villain in a soft core porno

Baby It's Cold Outside - "Yes" it really is

Dr, Nina nails it with this meme. Quote from body image expert Marcia Hutchinson.
Follow the good doctor on Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/drninainc/?hl=en

When in doubt always remember give zero F#cks 

Byline of the week: Stars react to the 2019 SAG Award Nominations - oh wait, wake me up from my slumber 

Dear Kathie Lee Gifford - booze in mass quantities, like you didn't already know that grrrrrl!

Pink is the word...

Happy 50th Birthday to my awesome friend Maresa Wickham - see you at your party tonight!

That's my shit at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

Shout!
Michael Shinafelt

"In violent times, You shouldn't have to sell your soul, In black and white, They really really ought to know" - Shout, Tears For Fears

Let's make this quote from this classic eighties song current, shall we? "In moronic times, you shouldn't have to sell your soul. In black and white, They really ought to know" better?

Shouting is how I feel on a daily basis. It's my column and I'm gonna let it all out!

The White Woman in me is very excited!

Must haves - The Demi Lovato mini bra from Fabletics 

Dear Donald Trump, if we were on a playground the teacher would punish your sorry ass

He died doing what he loved, getting strangled during anal sex

When you think things are bad for you during the month of January, remember it's worse for Andre 

The Elf on a shelf is over, all hail the Whore in drawer! 

Well I see Dorit Kemsley has been painted the villain on this seasons RHOBH - good she was too annoying not to be

I'm only happy when it _____ fill in your own blank and give it a name

0 Fux given this week, or F#cking ever

Happy 50th! Love You!
Moi & Brittney

Happy 50th to one of my best friends &  people I know Brittney Alexander!

This gay  is totally annoyed that Margot Robbie didn't win the Golden Globe for I,Tonya 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us" - Marianne Willamson 

Got Oral?

If you see me coming, stand and watch

Formation here:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/mshinafelt?lang=en   

Christmas Day 2017

Where's My Shelf?
Michael Shinafelt

Like most of you minions I am celebrating Christmas Day with family, most notably my Mom and her guy Bob who are visiting from Washington State. 

Today day we are indulging in the equivalent of Chinese Food from A Christmas Story and having Mexican Food instead. 

Here is a Christmas riddle. What do you call an elf without a shelf? Elf on the loose! Today, that's me!

Ho, ho, ho...pucker up your lips and blow and Merry Christmas!!!

Find me and put me back on my shelf at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/mshinafelt?lang=en