Kate Beckinsale Is A Dick!

Detachable Penis
Kate Beckinsale

With my recent posts about vagina and booty I could not pass up addressing the penis on here now could I?!

Especially when that organ happens to be the lovely Kate Beckinsale best known for the Underworld movies in an inflatable dick costume with the caption "Just a girl trying to make it in a man's world."

Oh is this how you do it? I learned something new today, thanks Kate!

Kate tweeted the image without details of any sort, much to her followers collective frustration.

See what a total dick she is???

Happy Tuesday!

Tweet with Kate at:
https://twitter.com/KateBeckinsale   

Million Dollar Booty New York

Oh Ryan Your So Fine!
Ryan Serhant

I have a confession to make, I am a fan of Bravo's Million Dollar Listing New York. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know what some of you are thinking. But I also know what fans of the show are thinking, of which there are plenty: Ryan Serhant!

C'mon you know that's why you watch. Ryan not only is the man, he is a man with a capital "M!!!"

He's sexy, charming and oh so good looking, not to mention he has one of the best booty's ever! You could serve a meal off it, it's so fine, hell it could even be the main course.

Booty!
Ryan Serhant

What's that you say? There are two other men on the show?! Really? I've never noticed. You see the beauty of shows like these is you can attend to other things while they are on and only sit in rapt attention when you are truly interested.

Now if they could excommunicate that "Weeeeeeeeeeee!" noise I hear while I am balancing my bank account I would truly appreciate it.

Ryan at:
https://www.instagram.com/ryanserhant/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/RyanSerhant
ryanserhant.com/  

RHONYC: "It Still Looks Like A Big Ball Sack"

Got Vagina?
Real Housewives Of New York City

"It still looks like a big ball sack. My vagina definitely doesn't match my personality. I don't identify with her at all. Is my vagina going to go back to the perfect pistachio" - Jules Wainstein

This season on the The Real Housewives of New York City it's a whole lot of vagina!
One of my BFF's and fellow "Housewives" fan Karen Castrischer-Stegall stated it best: 
"Why is it necessary for a vagina to be a story line?!"

Ratings I am assuming? It all started with my spirit animal Bethenny Frankel's excessive bleeding. Then moved over to Jules Wainstein's vaginal tear (great name for a Drag Queen, right Karen?!)

Thus the insightful quote from Ms. Wainstein above...

Got vagina questions?

Well tune into The Real Housewives of New York City - Countess Luann is above it all, hey she's getting married after four weeks of knowing her fiance', her vagina is obviously just fine!

RHONYC at:
www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city  

Dolly Parton "Pure & Simple"

Good news fans, Dolly has a new album coming out called "Pure & Simple" - Which is a much better title than  "Smart & Final"

Today, world-renowned singer/songwriter/entertainer Dolly Parton and Sony Music Nashville announced a joint venture and the launch of Dolly’s new studio album, Pure & Simple, for worldwide distribution on August 19. Releasing on Dolly Records/RCA Nashville, Pure & Simple can be pre-ordered starting Friday, July 8.

“I may not be pure, but I’m as simple as they come! This new Pure & Simple project is really special to me because I’m taking my fans back to my roots. I feel like these songs have a pure, tender side and we didn’t go overboard with arrangements. I’m so glad we’ve teamed up with our friends at Sony to get this album out to the fans,” said Dolly Parton.

Remarked Doug Morris, CEO, Sony Music Entertainment, “Dolly Parton is a national treasure and an iconic singer/songwriter. We are thrilled to be expanding our successful relationship with her through this new global agreement. We are very proud to call her a member of the Sony Music family.”
 


Left to right: Doug Morris, CEO Sony Music Entertainment; Dolly Parton; and, Danny Nozell, CEO CTK Management.
“This is a special reunion for Dolly, RCA Nashville and for me personally,” commented Randy Goodman, Chairman and CEO, Sony Music Nashville. “Our entire Sony Music Nashville team is elated.” Continues Goodman, “We have a firm foundation of Dolly’s incredible catalog of hits on RCA Nashville as well as Columbia Nashville.”

Say "Hello" to Dolly's upcoming tour schedule:

DOLLY PARTON PURE & SIMPLE TOUR:
July 19 US Cellular Center - Cedar Rapids, Iowa
July 20 Grand Casino Hinckley - Hinckley, Minn.
July 22 Denny Sanford PREMIER Center - Sioux Falls S.D.
July 23 Deadwood Mountain - Deadwood, S.D.
July 26 UCCU Center - Orem, Utah
July 27 Red Rocks Amphitheater - Denver, Colo.
July 29 Sprint Center - Kansas City, Mo.
July 30 Scottrade Center - St. Louis, Mo.
Aug. 02 Celeste Center- Columbus, Ohio
Aug. 03 Allen County War Memorial Coliseum - Fort Wayne, Ind.
Aug. 04 The Colosseum at Caesar Windsor - Windsor, ON, Canada
Aug. 06 Van Andel Arena - Grand Rapids, Mich.
Aug. 07 Ravinia Festival - Highland Park, Ill.
Aug. 09 Norton Center for the Arts - Danville, Ky.
Aug. 10 Ford Center - Evansville, Ind.
Aug. 12 BOK Center - Tulsa, Okla.
Aug. 13 Verizon Arena - Little Rock, Ark.
Sept. 09 Molson Canadian Amphitheatre - Toronto, ON, Canada
Sept. 10 Foley Fair Grounds - Seguin, ON, Canada
Sept. 12 MTS Centre - Winnipeg, MB, Canada
Sept. 13 Mosaic Place - Moose Jaw, SK, Canada
Sept. 16 Scotiabank Saddledome - Calgary, AB, Canada
Sept. 17 Rogers Place - Edmonton, AB, Canada
Sept. 19 Rogers Arena - Vancouver, BC, Canada
Sept. 21 ShoWare Center - Kent, Wash. SOLD OUT
Sept. 22 Northern Quest Casino - Airway Heights, Wash.
Sept. 24 Shoreline Amphitheatre - Mountain View, Calif.
Sept. 25 Santa Barbara Bowl - Santa Barbara, Calif.
Sept. 27 Valley View Casino - San Diego, Calif.
Sept. 28 Vina Robles Amphitheatre - Paso Robles, Calif.
Sept. 30 Laughlin Amphitheatre - Laughlin, Nev.
Oct. 01 Hollywood Bowl - Los Angeles, Calif.
Oct. 02 Hollywood Bowl - Los Angeles, Calif.
Nov. 15 Pigeon Forge Convention Center - Pigeon Forge, Tenn.
Nov. 18 North Charleston Coliseum - North Charleston S.C.
Dec. 06 Frank Erwin Center - Austin, TX
Dec. 09 Global Event Center at WinStar World Casino and Resort - Thackerville, Okla.
Dec. 10 Global Event Center at WinStar World Casino and Resort - Thackerville, Okla.

DollyParton.com 

A Tail Of Some "Sick Puppies"

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Traci Lords Pin-Up Girl

It's The Traci Dress!
Traci Lords & John Waters

Actress, Singer, Author, Songwriter, Icon these are the adjectives that come up when you mention the name Traci Lords.

Well saddle up because there is a new adjective in town to add to Traci's resume: Clothing Designer.

That's correct Traci has a new vintage clothing line from a design company with the moniker Pin-Up Girl a company that meshes seamlessly with her fashion sense and image.

Tired of having to alter pieces to flatter her curvy figure Traci set out to design ready to wear clothes for women like herself. The line also has a shout out to her character Wanda Woodward from John Waters Cry-Baby. Hey guys she didn't forget us, there is a T-shirt that was made just for us men as well. Time for Traci!

MS: Hey, Traci how's your day going?

TL: Fine, I'm just recovering from a whirlwind last week at Burger Boogaloo.

MS: Was it a good time?

Beat It Creep!
Traci & Laura Byrnes of Pin-Up Girl

TL: Yeah, it was a lot of fun! I've never been to it before, they do it every year. It's like a punk rock, rockabilly festival. It's all outside and it's in Oakland, CA, Jello Biafra was the DJ there. John Waters had done it last year, he was the Mister of ceremonies so when it came up this year they asked me to co-host it with him. I knew it was a big deal when I had family in town the week before and my nephew who is twenty-six now asked "What are you doing aunt Traci?" I told him I was going to MC an event where a band called The Mummies were playing. He said "The Mummies, oh my god!" They were all dressed like mummies, they were pretty groovy. The clientele was really great too sometimes the nicest people you meet are the ones covered in tattoos and dressed in leather, and the conservative looking ones in the suits are the ones you have to watch out for. You can't judge a book by it's cover.

MS: Let's talk fashion, give us the 411 on your clothing line.

TL: I'm doing this collab with Pin-Up Girl Clothing so I got to take my new "Beat It Creep" shirts to the festival. I also wore two samples of my Traci Dress which is a red halter just below the knees in homage to my Wanda dress from Cry-Baby. The fans were really delighted and supportive, they squealed, they loved getting a glimpse of Wanda! The week before I thought "I can't possibly host this event with John Waters without the Traci Dress."

MS: When first I heard about your clothing line I was intrigued. Is it based on Wanda?

                                                           Traci as Wanda 
                                                              In Cry-Baby

TL: The line isn't really based on Wanda, I realized Pin-Up Girl and myself have the same fan base. My female fans who love Wanda tend to dress up in more retro/pin-up inspired clothing. All these women are looking for empowerment, some sort of strong female bad ass prototype. Wanda has become such an icon for rockabilly/punk/pin-up scene, she just really is. I'm not kidding, I have my little baby Wanda's who are six years old that I have pictures of and those little girls they just love the songs. John made Cry-Baby so musical and so much fun to sing with, kids just love that! 

Then I have the women with tattoos and they're dressed like a pin-up. They are straight women who have families and all that, and they all want me to sign their breasts, every one of them. They say "just sign right here on my cleavage" so there are all these women walking around with gorge dresses on with my name across their breasts (laughs) It's really funny it's like "OK, right on!" - over the years it's really wild, men and women show up with my name tattoo'd on their bodies where I've signed it, I'm thinking "tattoos are forever are you sure you want to do that?!" (both laugh) The clothes I am doing with Pin-Up Girl are day wear, like that cool skirt with the hip/retro vibe that's ready to wear and you don't have to squash your body into. I'm not a large woman, but I am all legs and have a short torso, so it seems like everything always has to be moved to fit right, and I was tired of squeezing my boobs into dresses to make them work. This idea came from a desire to have clothes that were custom made for me and women like me that look amazing and aren't made for a twenty year old. These clothes are for women who want to look cool, elegant and sexy in their forties.

MS: Tell me about "Swedish Dicks."

TL: Peter Stormare and his partner own a detective agency and they had the bad luck of opening it across the street from my agency. My character sees herself as the finest detective in all of Los Angeles, I think I have the biggest dick of all! 

MS: You might! (both laughing)

TL: I know! She has a little bit of Jane Lynch from "Glee," she's very blunt about what she says and uses all of her feminine wiles to get what she wants. She is such a fun part to play. It's dark comedy with off quirky little bits here and there as well.

Traci, Gunnar & Jeff

MS: I have to ask about "Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre"...

TL: My husband rented it I haven't seen it yet, it's on my list. My son watched, this is horrible but this is what happens when I'm out of town, My husband and my son watched "Sharknado" I'm worried about Gunnar being afraid. Gunnar then told me about it when I got home "It was the stupidest, most hilarious movie I have ever seen, the shark went flying through the air and ate this guy and only his legs were left, and there was what looked like paint from my paint set!" He just thought it was hilarious! With "Sharkansas" I think what I'm going to do...he can see the parts that I'm in with Corey Landis because we are the detectives, that was actually a really fun role to play, but some of the cheesy stuff with the prison girls, I think we will go ahead and edit that out.(laughs)

MS: He stole the show on "Celebrity Wife Swap."

TL: He thinks he's a TV Star because of that, it's just hilarious! He tells me, this is just so funny that his plan is he wants to be a scientist. What he tells me he is going to do is graduate High School and make one or two movies so that he can finance his career (both laugh) this is his plan! Which made me laugh, it's less work for me!

MS: You will be jetting of to Williamsburg, VA soon for "Scares That Care."

TL: Yes, it's a 501 non-profit, it's a really great one. All of the money from it goes to helping families who are facing serious hardships, things that are insurmountable like a family member who has cancer. It's all 100% volunteer, nobody is paid salary or anything like that. The money really makes a difference. All ticket sales all the money goes to the people who need it. I've never been to Williamsburg it's supposed to be a very cool place historically, I'm looking forward to that. 

MS: I feel that if you are in a position or have a platform to help you should. The more open I am to that the better I feel.

TL: Especially when it hits that close to home. I am sure it doesn't surprise you that I had a lot of hardship in my family when I was growing up. There was nothing like "Scares That Care" at the time to help. Children Of The Night is another organization that is near and dear to my heart, it helps young girls really transform their lives. It's really important, human trafficking is really a big deal Los Angeles is the hub of it, it's unbelievable and not sexy. You are talking about young girls who are having their lives taken away from them.

MS: You've got a lot going on, all the best on the clothing line.

TL: Here's a fun little factoid, my old friend Shirley Manson of Garbage, used to be with a band called Angel Fish that was on the same label I was Radioactive Records. She just Tweeted me a couple of days ago that she wanted a pink and a black "Beat It Creep" T-shirt. I'm very flattered that she wants to wear them.

MS: By the way I would love to have one of the men's T-shirts.

TL: I think that can be arranged. (laughs)

Traci on the net:
https://twitter.com/thetracilords?lang=en
https://www.facebook.com/tracilords
https://www.instagram.com/tracilords/

Pin-Up Girl Clothing:
https://www.pinupgirlclothing.com/   

Zac Efron's Tongue

People Pleaser
Zac Efron & Fans

Zac Efron's gives good tongue down under at the Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates premiere in Sydney, Australia.

The Zac Attack stopped and posed for a selfie with fans and playfully mugged with his tongue protruding from his mouth for the camera. I'm a real sucker for anything that is attached to Efron and that includes this part of his body as well of which I could definitely think of many things to use it for that I can't print here.

Happy Hump Day!

Need a tongue bath?

Zac on  the net:
https://www.instagram.com/zacefron/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/ZacEfron