Michael's Musings

"It's The Freakiest Show..."
Michael Shinafelt

"Take a look at the lawman, Beating up the wrong guy, Oh man, wonder if he'll ever know, He's in the best selling show, Is there life on Mars?" - Life On Mars?, David Bowie

After the "debate" on Tuesday, if that's what you would like to refer to it as, me personally "The Sh!t Show" works quite nicely. My current state of mind is there "Life On Mars?" There have been rumblings to that effect, if so take me to your leader! I need a change of energy and pace, Thank You very much!!!

My last Uber driver's name was Man, no his last name wasn't Lee

I promise not to drag you if you don't treat me like an ATM with a large eggplant

That time you threw a mushroom at a little person and yelled "Grow Mario!" 

Yeah, that would be too much house cleaning for one year, discuss...

Quote of the Week: "That debate was the worst thing I've ever seen & I was in the Star Wars Holiday Special" - Mark Hamill

Is that a WAP in your pants or are you just happy to see me???

BTW an impeached President shouldn't be able to confirm a Supreme Court Justice. Think about it, but not too much.

Always remember, you are never too old for a fart joke

Woman Crush of the Week - LeAnn Rimes her voice is a gift and during these unsure times I appreciate the virtual show videos she posts on Social Media 

I love acupuncture, from what I hear I should never see Final Destination because of this

Ever wonder what Rhoda Penmark of The Bad Seed would be like as an adult? Two words: Ivanka Trump

Compliment of the Day: Wow, your ass (not wow, you're an ass) never underestimate the power of booty 

What if Santa gets COVID? Does that mean he will pass it on to the entire world on Christmas Eve?

Judging by the images of graffiti I have been seeing online of late, Banksy has really been phoning it in

Find me at these places on Social Media, judgement free -

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en

https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Hump Day & Chill - Happy Birthday To Me!

54 Pick-Up
Michael Shinafelt

Happy Birthday To Me! "Yes" it's today, thus I thought I would celebrate by reminding myself of who I am and where I've been. When I think about it, it's quite a journey. Cheers to me turning 54 the best is yet to come!

Weight Loss is a very personal journey. It is one that has to be done for the correct reasons or it is not going to work, I repeat not going to work. Take it from one who said they were going to do it several times before they actually did. I am 5' 7 and said I was going to lose it when I was 180 lbs. I then said I was going to do it when I was 190 lbs. Then I reached 200 - yep I said I was going to do it again then too. Well guess what I didn't do it until I reached 213! By then I fit into none of my old clothes (well that happened at 180 to be fair) and only bought things that work with my expanding waist line i.e. large shirts, drawstring pants etc...

Sometimes you have to lay your pimp hand down! Yep, this is when I finally decided to drop the weight and drop it noooow! It's about wanting to feel good about yourself. It's about claiming who you are. It's about, as Janet Jackson so directly put it Control. "Yes" weight loss is about taking control of who you are and being in a positive mind space. Life is a journey we are not going to be who we are one hundred percent of it. This being stated, once we allow ourselves to access who we are on an honest and real level then we can do anything! 

Who are we to judge ourselves? The first step to happiness is to accept who you are and deal with it. Life is not about perfection it's about acceptance. Does this mean you have to like everything? Hell to the Fucking  No! It means deal with it and find out what works for you. That is exactly what I did.

Being authentic is the best gift you can give yourself. Start there, make your weight loss journey about your happiness. It's not about pleasing anyone else. I can tell you I found a wonderful guy with a six pack when I was 213 lbs. He liked me for me, because despite the fact that I was overweight, I still had some self esteem. Of course he loved the fact that I lost it. But it was because I wanted to. Doing it for yourself is the key to victory. 

I decided to take this journey when I was 51. Thus proving you are never too old and you are never too late. Honestly I was tired of looking like a balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade. 

Thus one day I got out of my bedded stupor (I suffered from clinical depression for three years prior, was treated and learned how to manage my life through therapy and anti-depressants which I have not been on for over four years now) and said: You've got this Mother F#cker! I wanted my outside to match my inside. I wanted to like what I saw in the mirror. 

And so the journey began...I started with the best diet I knew: fruits, veggies & meat. Although you should eat lots of meat, protein anytime of day is acceptable. You should try to do your fruit aka sugar that is acceptable in the ayem and veggies round the clock. Sound boring? It truly isn't, it's all a matter of reprogramming your way of thinking. 

OK, I will admit it isn't easy. When I started for every 5 pounds I lost, I gained three back for a long time. The key is I did not give up. That would have been an easy thing to do. Get discouraged and throw in the towel. I owed this to who I am, not who I wanted to be. I am this person who wants this from themselves, not what anyone wants from me. It's about who you are and what you want. “Yes” I have emphasized this before. But it is the key element to what I am stating.

As I continued on this journey I kept moving adding in more exercise to what I had been doing. FYI weight loss is an 80/20 proposition - 80 percent what you consume 20 percent exercise. Exercise is to keep you and your mind healthy and focused. It's also there to take the weight you have lost and make it look fab! One of the unexpected benefits of me dumping the weight is doing my weekly routine of: Spinning, Abs, Weights & Yoga I have achieved definition in my stomach for the first time ever at 53 years old. Imagine that?! 

What that you ask? Do I still drink alcohol? The answer is "Yes" but in moderation. Honestly at this point two glasses of wine gets me tipsy. That's what Uber is for. (call a driver, don't drive drunk!) Do I  have cheat meals, you are damned right I do. Most of the week I eat clean, but there is that one day a week I eat, not like a pig. But I will eat something not on my diet and in moderation. I have a thing for pizza, burgers, Mexican food and my ultimate favorite snack is brie and crackers.

OK, now I'm hungry for some In-N-Out Burger, but I had pizza yesterday so it's off limits until next weekend. The one trick to adhering to healthy eating habits is to reprogram your way of relating to food. Don't think of it as depriving yourself, because you aren't dieting you are eating cleaner and more efficiently. I view my changed eating habits as being good to myself. Also reminding myself of all the hard work it took me to get there and not wanting that effort have been a waste of time. I remind myself of how great I now look naked too. Hey, that's a big one!

Speaking of big ones, certain other things appear to have gotten bigger when I lost the weight. Another unexpected, but welcome change to my body. If I can do it, you can too. Trust me you've got this!

Continue my journey with me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

 But Can't You See What I See?
Michael Shinafelt
Photo:
David Pevsner

For some reason the words invalidate and impeach keep running through my head this week. I wonder why? Think about it, and if you have to think about it too much, I don't know you. It's time to face the music, or eat it, depending...

Life, it's better than Kindergarten, or perhaps not, the decision is yours

Damn you McDonald's two for five!!!

Revisited Pretty in Pink at a retro screening upon the roof of The Montalban Theater in Hollywood this week. They don't make em' like the used to "sigh"

Some of you are too young to remember this but The Blacklist star James Spader used to be hot

I am no longer the nip slip queen. I am now the perky princess - carry on...

Joavani, you whores!

Love me hate me, all the boys and some of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy 

Coupon F#ck

Tragic wanna be bride, party of one

Not joking, I had an Uber driver named Kum once 

That Tickles
Jane Fonda
as
Barbarella

Hitting the Johnny Ramone Tribute this Sunday @ Hollywood Forever Cemetery - they are screening the camp classic Barbarella with Jane Fonda - can't wait!!!!

Would you care for an Anubis statue with your classless ass?

I can not condone Monster Truck Shows

Stud Subbing, it's a thing 

On that note be my sub @ -
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Michael's Musings

The Doctor Is Out!
Michael Shinafelt

"Oh, Doctor, doctor, can't you see I'm burning, burning, Oh, Doctor, doctor, is this love I'm feeling?" - Thompson Twins

I don't know about you, but I feeling like I need to get physical. Oh, doctor, please give it to me. Gladly, how do you like it???

My finger is on the trigger, now cough...welcome to this weeks musings, strap one on it's going to be a horny ride, or not. Life is a mystery, and a mixed bag. Get used to it.

Stop using sex as a weapon, well that's no fun!

Erika Jayne in latex on this weeks RHOBH - Mic Drop!

Alligator Lesbians in the sewer, discuss

Once upon a time I was 213 pounds and 5' 7" -  now I am 179 pounds, oh and I did all this at 52 years young. Stay tuned more weight is going to get lost!

Favorite quote about my recent weight drop? "Awesome, get out your leisure pants and 8 track player. The 70's are back!" -  Robert Krzeski

Someone at Uber hacked my bank account this week

Let's get back to being horny, it's more fun!

When you feel yourself you _____ yeah I like to tease

"There are many ways to be free. One of them is to transcend reality by imagination, as I try to do" - Anais Nin 

Got Wahlburgers???

Hit Wahlburgers on the Sunset Strip for the first time this week for lunch with Partners In Crime Jackie Kilmer & Ken Phillips - "yes" it was orgasmic

That time you put your hand on your....and it went something like....that

 "You aren't too smart, are you? I like that in a man" - Kathleen Turner, Body Heat

On a personal note,  I like my men smart

Sometimes it snows in April

What's new pussycat? Find out and follow me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt    

2018 Here We Come!

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened" - Dr. Seuss

Christmas 2017 is officially over, don't cry minions, get some backbone and put on a happy face.

Onward and upward I always say. Time to put on your big people pants and brace yourself for 2018, bitches!

With that sentiment I hope you all had a wonderful Yuletide, mine? It was pretty great my Mom came to Los Angeles to visit me with her guy Bob in tow. We got our Uber on and feasted on Mexican Food at Camacho's Cantina located at Universal City Walk.

On to the next Uber ride, our destination? The Arc Light Cinema, Hollywood where we saw I, Tonya, which I loved! Mom enjoyed, Bob not so much. 

They got Jack in the Box to go after the fact to take on the Uber to our final destination, home. None of that for this guy since I recently shed 24 lbs.

Yes, we were finally home for Christmas. 

And now it is the morning after, because there's got to be one, ya know.

Have a good one!

Riding The Shark With Zac Efron

Zac Efron: I Thought I Called Uber?

Ugh! If there is one thing that scares me, it's sharks! That would be courtesy of the movie Jaws, thank you very much Steven Spielberg...

Also as you may have guessed I have a thing for Zac Efron.

So in honor of Shark Week, yeah I am actually going to honor it, keep the snickering to a minimum.

I am posting a photo of something that terrifies me with someone who doesn't.

As if Zac couldn't get any more macho, off he goes into the ocean and hitches a ride with a Tiger Shark.

Hey Zac, I would love to face my fear with you anytime!

Shark Week, your what's for dinner.

Zac on IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1374980/?ref_=nv_sr_1