Michael's Musings

TBT: Go Into The Light
Michael Shinafelt

"Blinded by the light, Revved up like a deuce" - Blinded By The Light, Manfred Mann's Earth Band

Remember this song? Remember how inaudible the lyrics were? So much so that "Revved up like a deuce" sounded like, and everyone thought they were singing "Wrapped up like a douche?" Yeah, that pretty much says it all. Time to slide, minions...

We are all children of the universe, no less than the trees and stars. Except for, well we know who the exceptions are, now don't we?

There are no cards in Hell, they already know they're against humanity

Best Wishes go out to legend Catherine Deneuve who suffered a stroke 

Only one more episode left of American Horror Story: 1984!!! 

"The fact that some people are mistaking Keanu Reeves age appropriate girlfriend with Helen Mirren is wild. In hollywood, if you’re not 24, you might as well be 70." - Whitney Cummings

Did you know the Bible is 100% accurate? Especially when thrown at close range.

When George gets a little too curious, mysterious things go down

Ice-T liked one of my Tweets about Law & Order: SVU - that happened

Speaking of SVU Margaret Cho guests stars tonight as the head of a sex trafficking ring, oh my!

Woman Crush of the Week - Brooke Candy for celebrating sexual freedom

Oh, speaking of which - Jizz Lord

I'm going to Disneyland!

Did you know you can flash people with your cell phone? The truth is out there.

There are always going to be squirrels spreading f#ckery

A shout out to Kelly Clarkson, whoever your stylist for your talk show is, they must really hate you!

Help me find where I put it at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Hump Day & Chill

Jake Delaney

With only two more episodes left of American Horror Story: 1984 I thought we should have ourselves a little Hump Day & Chill AHS style. 

There really hasn't been a lot of male nudity this season thus I thought we should celebrate the most memorable booty shot featured in The Lady in White episode guest starring AHS alum Lily Rabe as, well, The Lady in White.

Remember the scene where the White Lady's son drowns because the camp Lifeguard goes off to Hump Day & Chill his fellow counselor? Yeah that scene where you get some man bum eye candy.

Well those tasty buns belong to actor Jake Delaney, pictured above.

So get your Hump Day & Chill on AHS style by clicking on the link below to the OMG Blog, tell them The Lady in White made you do it!

https://omg.blog/butt-jake-delaney-in-american-horror-story-1984/#z5KVgflz8DzliZmv.97  

Michael's Musings

Someone's Knocking At The Door
Michael Shinafelt

Happy Halloween Minions! Today's secret word is "Redrum" - I'm sure you never would have thunk that based on the image I used for the High Holy Day...NOT!

So what are you doing for Halloween? Are you a treat or a trick? Actually the way I phrased it the two are pretty much simpatico. I'd say it's time to get down and dirty, but I believe I've covered that...

Is there anything you wouldn't do for a Klondike Bar? If so, name it after me

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out. Get a MotherF#cking shot for that!

Ever think to yourself, what does Jason Vorhees do for Mother's Day?

Leslie Grossman is so bad ass on AHS: 1984 - end of discussion

Dr. Sleep looks like it will keep me awake

"Since I am dead I can take off my head to recite Shakespearean quotations.” - Jack Skellington, Nightmare Before Christmas 

MAGA - Halloween 365 days a year!

"This isn't a dream! This is really happening!" - Mia Farrow, Rosemary's Baby. Sad but true, that film obviously saw the coming of the son of Satan, Donald Trump.

Woman Crush of the Week - It's Halloween, how can I not choose the amazing Jamie Lee Curtis?!

Sometimes ya just gotta carve a pumpkin

Witches if your horny

Death Becomes Her, why not?

There once was a Headless Horseman...tragic (if you get my drift)

Blame it on my Beetlejuice

Trick or Treat with me at -

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en

https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

Don't Be A Drag, Just Be A Cowboy
Michael Shinafelt

I saw a Facebook post from a gay Drag Queen (not all of them are gay) that I interviewed once. My question is how can you be that, and blindly support Donald "F#cking" Trump?! This self hater said and I quote: "No impeachment vote because they have no case. Which they know, they just want to keep you guys excited. Warren will get the nomination but will not win the office"  

Damn! If I ever get this self loathing, impeach my ass!!!

Just watched AHS: 1984 - WTF?! Is Camp Redwood Pet Sematary?!

BTW celery juice is not the answer

Why "Hello" Snacky Dumpster

Let's go butt hole sunning 

I don't know about you, but I'm feeling witchy 

Jennifer Aniston joined Instagram, yeah that's fun in a certain way

To appease the gender neutral trend I'm going to start saying: Listen up F#ckers!!!

All I want for Halloween is to set Twitter ablaze 

I have a dream, to be a 17th Century opera singer who kills people in duels 

Woman Crush of the Week - Elvira, Mistress of the Dark - You can't have Halloween without her

One, two, someone's coming for you...tis the season after all

Buzz is the movie Bombshell is, well, the bomb!

Let's have an insect festival, NOT!

Is it safe? No, nothing fun ever is

Plot with me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Monday Motivation

"I'm A Mouse, Duh!"
Gus Kenworthy

With the completely bonkers American Horror Story: 1984 in full force I thought to myself What better Monday Motivation than one of it's stars Gus Kenworthy doing his take on the "Slut Mouse" from Mean Girls?" 

I mean who could forget Amanda Seyfried's Karen Smith in nothing buy lingerie and tiny mouse ears uttering "I'm a mouse, duh!" Seriously, you really can't un-see that...and who better to do a male take on it, shirtless and oh so slutty, than Gus?

With his body I would go shirtless as often as possible, Hell I'd go completely naked as much as possible if I looked him! Fortunately Mr. Kenworthy has gotten naked for us in photos that bare his supple booty.

So file this under Monday Motivation: Halloween Goals. "Yes" I know I will never own a body like Gus', but I will trim off the little bit of extra baggage I put on after my surgery (it really wasn't that much) and next Halloween I will be a shirtless "Vampire Slut" because being a "Slut Mouse" is for major league studs, like Gus, not DILF's like me.

Gus on Instagram -
https://www.instagram.com/guskenworthy/?hl=en   

Michael's Musings

Hypocrisy Is Emotional For Me...
Michael Shinafelt

Just when you think things couldn't get any weirder in the world, they do. I'm not going to delve into those grimy depths we all see enough of it on a daily basis. It's like were trapped in a 24/7 article for The Onion!

We all need a break damn it! Welcome to Fantasy Island, indeed...

In other news: I'm a Sex Witch 

"Rudy Giuliani is like if a Nickelback song became a person" - Chelsea Handler

I have declared a moratorium on anyone saying "Spooktacular" obey my command

You really don't think it was an accident, do you???

Just when you think it's safe to open the refrigerator...

Happy Mean Girls Day!

Word to live by - Whatever (motto for life)

Can I touch it? Asking for a friend.

If you are in doubt use the Vulcan hand signal, works every time

Woman Crush of the Week Mariska Hargitay she brings Law & Order to the SVU!

The human soul weighs 21 grams. I know this is true I weighed myself before and after watching Trump give a speech.

Loving American Horror Story: 1984 - it's bonkers

Feed Me! That is all.

Who hurt you?

Wake-up and smell the decaying corpses with me at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en

https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Michael's Musings

Is It Safe?
Michael Shinafelt

Last night like all good horror fans should, I watched the premiere of American Horror Story: 1984. It's off to a great start, every 80's slasher film cliche is intact and used. I especially like the references to other slasher epics in it...i.e. hitting a man in the middle of the road on the way to the summer camp (I Know What You Did Last Summer) The mental patients all escaped and roaming the grounds of the asylum (Halloween) or the pretty much exact replica of Camp Crystal Lake from Friday the 13th now christened Camp Redwood.

Hopefully the premiere continues to deliver on it's promise...

Words of Wisdom: Do not waste my tea!

Do you move your eyes when you eat and then moan?

Friends don't let friends bang girls at animal shelters because they want them to

Do you want to be a notorious homosexual when you grow up?

Although I know it's stuffing, who can resist a hung guy with a pornstache? I bring you Matthew Morrison in American Horror Story: 1984!!!

Pretty Little Liars Shay Mitchell celebrated her baby shower with, drum roll please, strippers! You go girl!

Is there anyone out there who gets excited over eating breakfast? Asking for a friend.

She used to be a Nun, she taught Catholic School after all

Woman Crush of the Week - Billie Lourd as Montana Duke on AHS: 1984

Retweet instead of bossing me around

"Hot new trend alert: people acting like dicks then calling their behavior "self-care" - Whitney Cummings

A smile and some ruffled sleeves do not say "jobs for everyone"

If the only way we could survive was for you to cut our your tongue, I'll do it for you

Do you think Melania Trump is any good at charades?!

Let your Freak Flag fly with me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt