Michael's Musings

Scruff
Michael Shinafelt

"Shout, shout, let it all out, these are the things I can do without, Come on, I'm talking to you, come on" - Shout, Tears For Fears

It's Springtime for Hitler, and the rest of us, hooray!

You've heard of a monthly visitor, well I have a weekly visitor. Yes, bingo, here it is! That time of the week were I get to say what's on my mind and more than likely what's on a lot of yours as well.

File this one under anger management, time to release the Kraken! That was an example of phrase you would use to define the word euphemism, ready? Let's go crazy!!!!

Erika Jayne's breakdown on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was so staged. How staged was it? It was so staged that the diplomatic and peaceful Eileen Davidson was the gasoline to an already lit fire. With a comment that was so out of character for her to say to anyone, let alone Erika.

Take your life and make it the best story in the world. Don't waste that shit.

A homeless man fist bumped me this past week, and the world keeps turning.

Be someone that makes you happy. That way you can fuck yourself.

Spring has sprung

Ivanka Trump will serve as her father's "eyes and ears" in other words a service dog.

I love Trade Joe's Wasabi Mayonnaise 

Trump Care is like Trump University, except you die.

Since we now know Microwaves are intrusive and pry into your personal business I have named my Eden. After Eden Sassoon on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

My ideal weight is Tom Hardy is on top of me

Apparently my dick has something to do with Katy Perry's latest single. I was as surprised to find this out as you are right now.

TTFN, until next week!

Follow me on the WWW at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en

https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Dance Erika, Dance!

She's A Painkillr
Erika Jayne

This morning I woke up with a reason to actually watch Dancing With The Stars this season. It turns out Erika Jayne of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills will be on hand when the cast is officially announced March 1st! Yahoooooooooooooo....!!!

Can I get a Pat The Puss?! I knew I could...this will give the show a much needed shot in the arm after the previous lackluster season (I don't even remember who was on, nor did I watch any of it.)

Erika is my favorite "Housewife" bar none. She has class, sass and most of all she IS real and gives zero fucks. I'll let you in on a secret, I actually follow her on Instagram, the more you know.

I will for sure be tuning in to see Jayne shake her groove thang! She gives the gays everything they want and more after all.

Erika on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/theprettymess/?hl=en 

Michael's Musings

Peek-A-Boo, I See U & I Know What U Do
Michael Shinafelt

Once upon a time there was a man who lived in a house of cards...and so the story goes. It's that time of week when I spout word vomit.

This past week brought us a variety of things, such as The Grammy's, Valentine's Day, Fifty Shades Darker and the shit show we all affectionately refer to as Donald Tump.

Wonder what will spew fourth from the corners of my mind this week? Let's find out...

Lady Gaga continues to amaze and show her versatility by teaming up with Metallica and blowing us away by nailing hardcore rock music. I wasn't surprised she could get her head banger on, and frankly I wished she do an album of it.

Thirsty Ivanka is a thing. Apparently Ms. Trump inherited her father's lech gene, I am sure by now you all got a look at the way she drooled when she met Justin Trudeau.

VD was Tuesday, and that of course meant the release of the Fifty Shades of Grey sequel Fifty Shades Darker - a Harlequin Romance for the domestic abuse set.

Let me extrapolate on the domestic abuse comment re: Fifty Shades. Author E.L. James is a terrible writer. I read two paragraphs excerpted online from the first novel and couldn't bear anymore. Not to mention she does not know the first thing about BDSM. Anastasia Steele is an abused woman, end of story.

Dear Pentatonix, please get a new stylist

Fierce! This is How U Red Carpet!
:Lady Gaga

Remember that time when James Hetfield's mic didn't work at The Grammy's? So does everyone else. Really Grammy's?! The whole premise of the fucking award is based on sound, enough said.

AC/DC said it best: "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap"

Toughen up buttercups, it's going to be a wild ride!

Ask yourself this, are you a good little pony worthy of a biscuit?

In case you were wondering, Erika Jayne is my favorite Real Housewife of Beverly Hills. She out classes and sasses them all while giving no fucks.

Enjoy your Thursday, it's the day before Friday after all.

Join me on the Internet at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/mshinafelt?lang=en  

Saturday Schwing! Andy Cohen

Come To Daddy
Andy Cohen

Nothing catches my eye more than a photo of a guy with his legs spread wide. Needless to say this image literally "popped" at me when I saw it.

I mean who knew the host of Bravo's Watch What Happens Live, Andy Cohen had this great of a body since he keeps it under wraps on the show. 

Sitting on a medicine ball in his best come to Daddy stance and sporting a sassy Erika Jayne T-Shirt he's a Boy's wet dream and ideal for a Daddy/Boy/Daddy tag team session.

Yes, you can use Andy Cohen for many things in the boudoir, and from the looks of it I am sure he has done them all!

Happy Saturday and enjoy the DILF view! Schwing!!!

Andy on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/bravoandy/   

Michael's Musings

I'm Horny!!!
Michael Shinafelt

"The devil inside, the devil inside, Every single one of us the devil inside
The devil inside, the devil inside, Every single one of us the devil inside" - INXS

Yes this pretty much sums up how I am feeling today. I suspect a lot of you are in that zone too. Fasten your bondage strap, it's going to be a Hell of a ride!


La La Kent is leaving Vanderpump Rules. Considering she was the only thing interesting on the show I may stop watching. No offense Lisa Vanderpump.

I need to start doing my Christmas cards pronto. It's not that I don't care about family, friends etc., the Holiday season really holds no interest for me.

Kanye West met with Donald Trump. That says it all.

Things you should do this Holiday season, WTF you should do them all the time. Smile at  everyone you see, the response is always amazing.

My friend Jackie Kilmer has had the stomach flu, she says it makes her feel like Linda Blair in the Exorcist. Blech!

"Pat The Puss" - Thank you Erika Jayne for one of my go to phrases that makes me, and several people I know happy throughout the day.

Almighty Isis! I need a housekeeper!

Dear Hollywood Chamber of Commerce - the Walk of Fame is a major tourist attraction, can't you keep that shit clean?! Refer to my image below you bastards. Freddie Mercury is tossing off in his grave. PS - good for him!!!

Dirty Star, Clean Foot

As seen on Shark Tank, I bought a Scrub Daddy sponge that I spied at Ralph's the other day. It's the most awesome sponge ever! You know you are old when a great deal on a kitchen use sponge excites you!

This weekend is my Birthday, the 18th, worship me.

Leah Remini's show on Scientology is a must see! Go Leah!!!

You know your mission this weekend, it's my Birthday, give it to me!

Follow me here:
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/   

"How Many F#@ks" It's Hump Day

Give A Suck, Not A F#@k!
Erika Jayne

While I know everyone beat me to posting the new Erika Jayne video, with whips & chains, yesterday. I felt however "Hump Day" was the perfect time to post a video for a song titled "How Many F#@ks."

Erika Jayne has been around for a spell in the music world, she is especially known among gay men ( she was named Queen of this year's White Party in Palm Springs after all.) Being on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has given her singing career a HUGE boost! Watching the show it is obvious as to why...

Who wouldn't want a loyal, smart, tough, sexy, sassy broad to call their own as a fierce friend?! 

Like she tells it: "Everyone needs a little Erika Jayne in their lives." 

Ya know what? I think she's on to something with that. Erika Jayne embodies the bad girl/boy in us all. The things we want to say and do, but don't act upon publicly she does.

Her latest song definitely strikes a raw nerve on something that we all want to parade around proclaiming loudly and in public, but for obvious reasons the sentiment is kept private.

I know I am feeling this catchy little number in 4,3,2...1!!!

                                                             How Many F#@ks


Give Zero F#@cks With Erika at:
http://erikajayne.com/