Michael's Musings

Giving Cattitude
Michael Shinafelt  

"So-so, so don't fuck with my freedom, I came back to get me some, I'm nasty, I'm evil" - Mother's Daughter, Miley Cyrus 

It's Pride Weekend in Los Angeles, CA, really not sure if I will be attending or not. But I still believe we need it more than ever. This week's edition is going to be a hybrid by Queer ally and amazing artist Miley Cyrus and Myself. I am currently obsessed with her latest EP She Is Coming, which is first and foremost pro everything I stand for. 

You are in for the most "extra" musings of your ass. "Yes" I have Pride & Cattitude...meow to the mix!!! 

This F#g is in heat, let me ride that beat! Beat it, just beat it! 

Who gives a F#ck if they call you a slut? Yeah, do you really care? Well you shouldn't

Going electric leads to way cleaner ______ fill in that Pride blank

One of my most fond Pride memories? Marching with Ken Phillips alongside Margaret Cho in the Los Angeles parade tossing off swag.

Hallelujah We're all freaks, yes! 

Lisa Vanderpump

Once I met the indomitable Lisa Vanderpump  backstage @ Gay Pride, she is as cool as they come.

Do I suck D!ck? You ain't seen sh!t

I love my pussy that means I've got Cattitude 

Why do you gotta be so MotherF#cking extra? Asking for a friend...

Miley Cyrus

Don't let anyone keep you down Miley Cyrus! 

Back-up, back-up, back-up boy. "Yeah" U know who you are -

I'm not obscene, your hypocrisy is 

OMG, what would happen if SHE got the power??? The world would be a better place.

You all are the moon, the stars & special 

It's time for a revolution, join me -
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Monday Motivation

Let Me Motivate You
Miley Cyrus

While surfing images in The Big Picture section of E!Online this photo of Miley Cyrus popped! I hit me like a jolt of caffeine. Thus today Miley is Monday Motivation enough for us all I say.

Rather then give you a specific context as to why, I am going to throw all the various adjectives it brings to my mind at you. "Yes" you can decided for yourself which one gets you cranking on this Memorial Day. 

Here we go, time to get thyself motivated!

Energized, Excited, Determined, Motivated, Electric, Goals, Happy, Work Out, Trip, Run, Fun, Achieve, Believe, Love, Kindness, Wild, Sexy, Confident, Comfortable, Gregarious, Friendly, Acceptance, Self Esteem, Attitude, Self Love, Dominant, Beautiful, Successful...

And the list could go to infinity and beyond.

Miley on IG -

https://www.instagram.com/mileycyrus/?hl=en  

Michael's Musings

In Your Face
Michael Shinafelt

This past weekend the Academy Awards happened and proved after a progressive 2018 show when Moonlight won Best Picture, that there must have been a momentary loss of sense and sensibility from the old van guard because they were back in full force by touting Green Book Best Picture this year. Which would have been a great film if it had been made the year I was born 1965.

Oh and Michael Cohen testified against a B!tch Baby, I mean Donald Trump yesterday. In other news...

"He lied a lot" - Postcards From A B!tch Baby 

This is me waving my middle finger at Facebook, yeah I am being censored and bullied right now or I'd show it to you.

Your Porn Star name is your first name + your last name, because it's you. You're a ho!

How the Hell did Krysten Ritter rate to be an Oscar presenter...WTF?!

"Come again?" - interpretation is everything

That's so very

Erika Jayne is looking like a Drag Queen this season on RHOBH - she would most likely take this as a compliment. I most likely don't mean it as one. 

I didn't know you were gay, my car needs more work

Adult Depends Whore

Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party - that is all 

This is the noise that keeps me awake - that's for me to know and you to find out.

Quiche Lorraine - dinner is served

Shout out to Selma Blair, you get down with your bad self!

Stop being shady, be obscene instead 

Me? I'm serving up eggplant realness right here, right now on the WWW -

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Michael's Musings

#TBT: Want My Pearl Necklace???
Michael Shinafelt

"There is only one thing worse in life than being talked about, and that is not being talked about" - Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde has been my spirit animal of late. He is quite astute, read up on some of his quotes they were of their time, and also ahead of their time. Many of them reflect our current state of the union. I once portrayed a hustler named Freddy Wood in a play about Oscar, who had a hand, mouth, dick & booty in Mr. Wilde's downfall. There, I just gave you something to talk about, here's more...

The heart of a hero, the vagina of a virgin

Yogurt is not a murder weapon

My hope, Lady Gaga & Glenn Close tie for the Best Actress Academy Award

Botched is so annoying

"Every Saint has a past, every Sinner has a future" - Oscar Wilde. I could not tout his writing prowess and use only one quote from him now could I?

Graffiti Warnings, discuss

For 2019 I wanted mass quantities of two for $5 Filet-O-Fish at McDonald's, I got abs instead. Winning!!!

Tell me again how you you've fallen and you can't get up

A girl with unusual powers escapes from a mental asylum and tried to make it on her own. The more you know.

Miley Cyrus got P@ssy tattooed on the outside of her left ankle - I'm now inspired to get a fourth tattoo.

Tattoo Life
Michael Shinafelt

BTW Here's my tattoo on the outside of my right ankle - I know you wanted to see it.

Byline of the week: "We Finally Know What Anna Wintour Thought Of Meghan Markle's Wedding Dress." Apparently she approved. I couldn't care less, but I'm sure someone does.

Take this Kale and shove it!

Who's looking forward to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premiere on February 12th? Me! Me! Me!

Want more to talk about? Follow me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

The Write Stuff
Michael Shinafelt

Finally Christmas is over! Can I get a groove is in the heart to that?! I thought I could. We are now headed in to 2019 the new year as it were. 

I really have no expectations on this coming year, other than it will be like the other New Years, different number same sh!t, with some changes thrown in for good measure. Speaking of measure it's time to see how many licks it really does take to get to the center of a tootsie pop!

Put your ice cream back in the freezer and tell your genitals to werk!

I am 100% sure I gained a few pounds this past week, cut me some slack in addition to Christmas I also had a Birthday thrown in the mix for good measure

Why can't we all just do the Time Warp again?

Still did not receive Cha Cha Heels again for Christmas this year, damn it!

Another Christmas has come and gone and Mariah Carey is now back in her box

Well then there's Aquaman 

Skinny Jeans are my new jam

Jam is not something I partake in

Little boxes, discuss 

They're Hitched!
Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth 

Congratulations to Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth they seem perfect for each other

"Yes" I have a dirty mind

“I know, I’m kind of crazy. If you look up the word crazy in the dictionary, I’m like, kind of like to the left of it.”- Katy Perry

What's in your bra?

Be my friend at: 
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Fugly Christmas Sweater Friday

The Horror
Miley Cyrus

'Tis the season for Fugly Christmas Sweaters fa la la la la, la la la la....

It's that time of year where the apparel people don is in questionable taste especially when in comes to sweaters. 

Witness Miley Cyrus in an odd little number that features a graphic of Santa covering his face in what looks like horror. It's like a Christmas/Halloween hybrid or something, what that truly is I have not a clue. Oh, and don't pretend you do either, got it?

Miley has a plethora of Fugly Christmas Sweaters of the season to choose from, it's like her own tradition during this festive time of year. My reasons for choosing this one is the actual image of her and her dog radiates warmth and cheer. Translation: It made me smile and the canine helped off set the hideous sweater.

So break out whatever it is you imbibe in and raise a glass of cheer! Only four more days, yikes!!!

Miley on IG -
https://www.instagram.com/mileycyrus/?hl=en  

Michael's Musings

Smile Like You Have A Naughty Secret....
Michael Shinafelt

Well this week I am feeling mighty real! A special shout out to Sylvester - the original Drag Queen Superstar!

So do you want smell the batch Michael is brewing?! Oh yes, yes you do...

Major Meltdowns are officially a thing

I like to get popped weekly

My mood is bigger than yours

The wait is over: Jake Gyllenhaal is finally on Instagram. OK, was anyone clamoring for this???

Do you eat dumplings? 

French, it's what's for dinner 

Virginity comments, discuss

Hi. Bitch

Take a deep breath and remember who the F#ck you are

Nothing Breaks Like A Heart 

French Kissing 

Bush, yeah I remember that 

I will go there, don't try me

Michelle Obama, Michelle Obama, Michelle Obama 

And the beat goes on at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt      

Michael's Musings

Sinner Man
Michael Shinafelt

"I give in to sin, Because you have to make this life livable" - Strange Love, Depeche Mode 

'Tis the season to be jolly...why is it merely the season? Be jolly all year round. It's more like 'tis the season to pretend we are this unattainable ideal of individuals that really have nothing to do with the reality of the human condition. 

Hey I'm all for being kind, but this time of year we are held to expectations that not even Helen of Troy could attain. I don't know about all of you, but I'm feeling dirty....All that matters is you give them an angle.

"Friend: I don't know how to cook, my Mother didn't teach me
Me: I'm sure she didn't teach you on how to suck d!ck either"

Judge Marilyn Milian is the rational Judge Judy

BTW I take super hot showers to practice burning in Hell

Once upon a time, there was a _____ you've got this

Stop spreading your legs Peppermint Patty! 

I dub thee Bubbles

Be your own Secret Santa with Ambien & Amazon 

If she kicks your ass that means she ate the hog

Kissing Strangers...dribble, dribble, plop, plop - pay it forward

You'd Better Werk!
Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus, Miley Cyrus, Miley Cyrus 

The way I have chosen to live my life, my life goes against some people's views of things

Coat the throat

I guess that's why they call it the blues (balls) 

Thanks C#nts!

It's a hard ride, join me won't you at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt

Michael's Musings

What's Black & White & Read All Over...
Michael Shinafelt

"I'm outta time, all I got is four minutes" - "4 Minutes" Madonna/Justin Timberlake 

Even thought 4 Minutes is one of my least favorite songs ever. Sorry Madonna & Justin, not! This refrain is how I am feeling at present. "Yes" I said present, so shower me with gifts minions!

Ask me about how much patience and understanding I have at "present" it will turn into one of the worse gag gifts you have ever received. Moving on...

I f#cking miss Tina Turner, she's simply the best, better than all the rest...

Did a photo shoot with artist Daniel Dehnert yesterday, that is all 

If you are ever feeling powerless, just remember one of your pubic hairs can shut down an entire restaurant 

Went to the Gay Pride Parade in Los Angeles this past weekend. It was epic - that was not a compliment

Finally I cracked 170 and now weigh 169, that's correct minions I'm bringing sixties back!

When someone asks if you give a damn, be honest

Remember when damn was actually considered a curse word? "Yes" I am old

And then there's Maude -

Have you heard?! Mike Clifford crooning his awesome cover of Carole King's Will You Love Me Tomorrow? Here's your chance, after the jump!

Happy "Oh What The Hell" Day!

If at first you don't succeed, figure it the f#ck out

What's new pussycat?

Miley Cyrus, MIley Cyrus, Miley Cyrus

Have yourself a good day, and do what's right

I'm gonna take you out, on the neon side of town

Come along for the ride at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/mshinafelt?lang=en  

Spanks Easter Bunny!

I Want A Bunny With A Slow Hand...
Miley Cyrus

"Treat me like I'm a bad girl, even when I'm being good to you, I don't want you to thank me, you can just spank me" - Hanky Panky, Madonna 

Happy Easter Peeps (he he he) - I happen to follow Miley Cyrus on Instagram and Thursday all these rad shots kept filling my feed from an Easter photo shoot she did.

Well what to my wandering eyes did appear, but one of Miley getting it in the rear from none other than the Easter Bunny!

That's correct, Miley was a real smack bottom for the EB as you can bear witness to in the image above.

Is there anything left to say other than...Happy Easter?!

Yeah, I thought not. Keep Calm & Easter!

Miley on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/mileycyrus/?hl=en  

Michael's Musings

Analyze This
Michael Shinafelt

"Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility" - Sigmund Freud

This quote from the great Sigmund Freud is an astute one. It also accurately defines the current  State of The Union better than anything that was stated during that "speech." 

What? Did I watch you ask? No, I didn't subject myself to it, Michael ain't got time for that bullshit I keep moving...Here is my weekly invoking of my right to free speech.

Leave your ageism at the door

I have douchebumps!

Did you know I am an emergency butt hole technician???

Let's discuss the Grammy's, shall we?

Elton John & Miley Cyrus' collaboration on Tiny Dancer was amazing!

Kesha really nailed it with her performance of Praying, you go grrrrrrl...

Lady Gaga always does an award show good

But WTF with all the Grammy gold bestowed upon Bruno Mars? Seriously Grammy voters you considered his limp efforts to be the overall best of 2017?! 

Next year I am going to cut an album of me singing in the shower

No, I'm not going to behave myself 

Fact: one of my favorite songs is False Alarm by The Weeknd 

Shout out to Robert Krzeski for posting this gem - "If you can't be a good example, you'll have to be a terrible warning" 

Red wine is always fine

Be safe and always have fun with your bananas 

Follow me at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Just Because...The Odd Couple

Father Figure?
Selena Gomez & Woody Allen

Just Because their in New York City. Just Because of the generation gap & Just Because she is the most followed person on Instagram I bestow upon you this photo of Selena Gomez being directed in New York by Woody Allen for his upcoming movie.

File This Under: Wonders Never Cease

Woody Allen is proof is you live long enough you can engage with all the age inappropriate women you want. He directed Miley Cyrus in an Amazon TV series and now he gets to put Selena Gomez through her paces for his latest cinematic foray.

Considering Allen's checkered past also makes this situation one for the book of Hollywood Curiosities.

That being stated I am sure Ms. Gomez can navigate murky waters just fine on her own.

Isn't the real question "What does Soon Yi think of this?" 

Think about it, but not too much, OK?

Selena on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/selenagomez/?hl=en

Just Because...Miley Cyrus

It's been a while since we have actually heard much from Miley Cyrus, with the exception of her appearance on The Voice. She has been keeping a low profile and taking some much earned time away with her guy Liam Hemsworth. 

Well judging by her upcoming appearance on the Billboard Music Awards and her latest single Malibu it looks like Miley Spirit is preparing for a huge resurgence.

Call this Miley Cyrus 3.0. She went from Hannah Montana to the Queen of Raunch & Free Love and now seems to be graduating to a more subdued introspective Miley based on the video and lyrics for Malibu.

Whatever your opinion of her Cyrus has one hell of a voice and can do anything she wants as far as I'm concerned.

Of course I was never into her in her Hannah Montana phase, I was not the intended audience either, "yes" I liked her nasty & provocative...the obvious being stated, this music lover is looking forward to 3.0 Miley, you go grrrrrrrl!

Miley on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/mileycyrus/?hl=en

Miley & Liam Sitting In A Tree...

Swapping Spit
Liam Hemsworth & Miley Cyrus

K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Since most people have today off for the New Year being that it fell on Sunday I felt like slacking somewhat today as well.

"Somewhat" meaning I still did post today, but it wasn't anything terribly taxing. Today I bring you Miley Cyrus and beau Liam Hemsworth ringing in 2017 with a big ole kiss.

Can I get an Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.... and so there is no confusion this kiss was indeed on NYE there is a big ass sign that says it in blazing lights behind them, so there!

I hope each and everyone of you got yourself some New Year's tongue, and tomorrow let the 2017 truly games begin!

Miley on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/mileycyrus/?hl=en  

Guess Who's Coming To "The Voice?"

The Wind Beneath My Rock-N-Roll
Joan Jett & Bette Midler

Season 11 of The Voice is shaping up to be quite epic. With returning coaches Adam Levine and Blake Shelton, newbies Miley Cyrus and Alicia Keys have been added to the vocal re-mix. 

But guess who else is coming to The Voice as vocal advisers??? Joan Jett will also be along for the ride. The Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame inductee was chosen by Cyrus, who joked about having sex with her and sang with her at her hall of fame induction ceremony.

Also none other than Bathhouse Bette, Bette Midler will be advising as well. Who, who, who brought the Bette on? Surprisingly it was Adam Levine. Apparently he digs her, interesting no? That being stated she will be working with Blake not Adam when the show airs. 

There's going to be a whole lotta vocalizing going on when The Voice returns to NBC September 19th!

The Voice online at:

www.nbc.com/the-voice

Colton Ford, This Time It's Personal

Once upon a time in Southern California there was a boy name Glenn Soukesian. That boy grew up loving theater and most of all, music.

After a few deals with major labels that did not quite materialize what he had hoped for,  He decided to try a different approach to springboard his singing career. Glenn went into porn under the name of Colton Ford.

Well it worked. After many hit singles and albums, Colton has hit his fans with his most personal CD to date, titled, what else? Glenn Soukesian. We met at Desano Bakery in Silverlake CA, to catch up and talk shop. Take note world at large and listen closely....

MS: You recently got back from Pride in Spain.

CF: Yes, it was really a good time, where everybody gay and straight were there to enjoy themselves and celebrate.It was a free spirited, accepting non-judgemental party with great energy, and everyone was carrying their alcohol and mixers in a bag and making their drinks on the sidewalk. A PARTY!! I performed three songs off of the new record for the first time which was awesome! People were there from allover Europe, it's really a great mix of people.

MS: I listened to your new music just before I got here.

CF: Right before you come and do your thing. (laughs)

In Spain, No Rain
Colton Ford
Photo: Romi Simmons

MS: Yeah that way it's fresh in my mind. I love your current single "Free Yourself," it's pretty bluesy.

CF: Well I'm going back to my R&B/Soul roots. My roots  have always been in R&B/soul, something that's been present in all of my dance releases. But now, at fifty-three, I wanna do what I wanna do. I'm more of a bluesy crooner, ballad singer anyway. I took the opportunity to do what I felt. I worked with some amazing producers who get me. This is the first record where I didn't have to consider anyone or anything else.

MS: Did you self produce your current album?

CF: Yeah, the five people that I worked with, they wrote the tracks, I get the track and I write the melody and the lyrics. They produce the track and and I arrange and produce the vocals. Larry Peace did five of the tracks on the record, and he co-executive produced it with me. He was the DJ for Prince. 

MS: Funny you should say that when I saw your song "R U Gonna" I thought of Prince because of the spelling. 

CF: Yeah, yeah. (laughs) Now that guy is Eddie J Free who is another mixer/producer I did that and "True Love" with. 

MS: I still can't believe Prince is gone. Fifty-eight is not old, especially since I'm fifty and your fifty-three, it really caught me off guard.

CF:  What a trip. It was so sudden.

MS: Honestly I like this CD best out of everything you've done. I can hear how much more you are connected to the songs on this.

CF: Well Thank You. My EP "Next Chapter" was a nice segue into "Glenn Soukesian." This is more about the songs and the vocals and less about production. "The Way I Am" was a great dance album, but it was high in production. In terms of this album when you compare it to that one, it's much more personal.

It's All Good
Colton Ford

MS: It feels that way. 

CF: Totally more personal. It was a very liberating project. 

MS: Something about it pops more to me.

CF: Cool, I love it! That is also the feedback I have been getting from people. Before I did the record I would see people posting: "We love your stuff, but we feel there's something else, and we look forward to what that is" and here it is. (laughs) 

MS: And that's why the CD is named after you. 

CF: Yes, my actual name. (both laugh) I really thought this through, a lot of people use my real name anyway because of the documentary about me "Naked Fame." It's about continuing that connection between Colton Ford and Glenn Soukesian. I'm in a place right now where I want to be as organic and true to myself as I can. 

MS: The connection between music and sexuality is a strong one...sometimes people forget you have a great voice to go along with it. Miley Cyrus for example.

CF: She's amazing! She's got an amazing fucking voice! No Joke! If she wants to swing around naked on a wrecking ball, go for it! 

MS: You lose sight of how good an artist is sometimes when that is the way they choose to express themselves.

CF: Well, I know I've experienced it, they judge you as if your doing that because your music is not strong enough. That's a bunch of bullshit. Some people actually do, but you can tell based upon the music who's doing it and who's not. Put the visuals aside and listen to the music and respond accordingly. 

MS: One last personal thing, Glenn Soukesian. What is your favorite track off of your current CD?

CF: Well that's a hard one. Each song has a special meaning to me for a variety of reasons, both personally and artistically. I really love "Love's Around." Love the track, love the spirit of the song, the "you're not alone" message. And it's a universal love song. Could be to a friend, family member or a lover. It represents the personal relationships that I have. Loving, kind and supportive.

Keeping Up With Colton at:
https://twitter.com/coltonfordmusic
https://www.facebook.com/ColtonFordMusic/

Get Him On iTunes:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/colton-ford/id256309957