Michael's Musings

Join My Army
Michael Shinafelt

In what has got to be one of the most WTF weeks ever, I am here to enlist you to join my Army. From the random and weird Golden Globe ceremony to the dangerous random and weird rantings of a spoiled brat would be POS dictator B!tch Baby.

My Army is truth, care come along?

Lady Gaga won Best Actress from The National Board of Review - she will not be ignored HFPA!

The rantings of a lunatic, Donald Trump (I can't call him President, I didn't vote for this F#cking Sh!t) was shot down in the ratings by Nancy Pelosi - Bang, Bang MotherF@ker!

It's not like I can put the weenie back in the bottle

Start by telling me the earliest memory of your middle finger

FYI - I have had four boyfriends and Satan has hated them all

Instead of watching that POS bitch about his waaaaaaaaalll, I viewed Lindsay Lohan's Becah Club on MTV - a train wreck in many of the ways that you'd expect. Threat to the safety and well being of others...zero!!!

I'm a little bit Buddhist, I'm also a lot Rock-N-Roll

King Slut

D-List Euro Socialites - discuss

Giving Zero F#cks
Sarah Paulson & James McAvoy

Sarah Paulson is giving you everything you need today in this shot from the Glass premiere (with James McAvoy) in London.

Note to self: Why the Hell is R. Kelly not locked up???

What's a nice whore like you doing in Arizona?

Sometimes you feel like a twunt, sometimes you don't

Today is the mysterious anniversary of the day I buried my last F#ck 

Bury your last F#ck with me at -
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

"Do The Drumpf"

Sax Wielders
Round Eye 

If it's unique & political, it must be punk. For those about to Drumpf we salute you! 

ROUND EYE, Shanghai's Sax-Wielding Experimental Punk Posse, Release "Do the Drumpf" Music Video and Single

 

"While China is hardly an apt place from which to lob brickbats against abuse of power, Round Eye's critique is nonetheless dead-on in its depiction of the US right wing's paranoid fantasies about Muslims, gays, the urban underclass, and non-white people." 

 - Dangerous Minds

Round Eye, the experimental, sax wielding, freak punk outfit have accrued a loud and controversial name for themselves since forming in 2012. The Shanghai based group have as of late been a crucial force in bridging a wide gap between the eastern and western hemispheres of DIY punk rock.

The band has released a music video for Do the Drumpf, one of two songs on a digitally released single on Joey Shithead of DOA's Vancouver-based Sudden Death Records. The compilation is a celebration of the second anniversary of the death of common sense in the USA. Round Eye front man Chachy says, "This video is our subjective window into the reality of the sitcom we call American politics. No Trump, No KKK, No Facist USA."

Along with blazing a trail all over the globe they've played host to visiting western punks and some legends as well sharing stages with acts such as The Fleshtones, MDC, Mike Watt + The Missingmen, D.O.A., The FUs, The Boys (UK), Paul Collins Beat, M.O.T.O., Ceremony, Iceage, and eastern notables such as P.K.14, SMZB, SUBS, Hang on the Box, and during a mainland tour of China with UK punk legends The Boys, they were forced to literally move the tour underground after being banned by the Ministry of Culture for lewd artwork on a tour poster. VICE magazine documented one of their 'bunker' gigs in Beijing in glorious baijiu filled detail.

They've won the "Best Local Band" title from Shanghai's City Weekend magazine two years in a row. They've released several acclaimed music videos: "Suntan" starring famed Chinese actress Wang Lin (Xue Yi), best known for her role in the Chinese soap opera Romance in the Rain and appearances in Academy Award winning Ang Lee films such as Lust / Caution), the politically and critically charged nightmare "Billy" and "Sifter" which was entirely filmed in Pyongyang North Korea making it the very first punk video ever filmed in the DPRK. 

Round Eye has played numerous festivals around the world and honed their unconventional blend of 50s R&B, Free Jazz and Punk with a critically acclaimed EP Full Circle on Ripping Records which featured Greg Ginn (Black Flag), LP Round Eye which featured Steve Mackay (Iggy Pop & the Stooges, Violent Femmes) & Lo-fi legend R. Stevie Moore, and have recently released their sophomore LP, Monstervision, on Sudden Death Records. This album was recorded by Li Wei Yu & PK 14's Yang Haisong, narrated by former The Daily Show comedian John Bloom (Joe Bob Briggs), and is the last recordings laid to wax of the late great Steve Mackay.

They have drawn comparisons to the Stooges, Captain Beefheart, Dr. Feelgood and The Fall but have more often fallen into a category all their own.

Follow the adventures of Round Eye on Facebook

Listen to select tracks at Stereokiller.com and SoundCloud

Watch their wild music videos at YouTube

and for the truly daring, take a gander at their Tour Poster

Odd Couple

Who'd Of Thunk It?!
Gwen Stefani & Blake Shelton

With the California Wildfires, the passing of  Marvel legend Stan Lee and the perpetual presence of Donald Trump - we all could use something to brighten our day.

Cue the hearts & flowers here it is! "Yes" the oddest coupling in Hollywood currently Gwen Stefani & Blake Shelton. When this first started happening on The Voice I naturally thought it to be a ratings ploy, as I am sure many did.

So here we are three years later at the People's Choice Awards and they are still together - insert collective gasp here. "Yeppers" they are for real, amazing, I know...

Accentuate the positive and go out there and make it a good one y'all!

Gwen on IG -

https://www.instagram.com/gwenstefani/?hl=en

Blake on IG -

https://www.instagram.com/blakeshelton/?hl=en  

M.E. Franco Is Horrifying!

The Night SHE Came Home!
M.E. Franco

Here is comes again, ya know, Halloween - which means it's time for me to have my Holiday chat about the most hallowed time of the year with fellow horror enthusiast and author of the supernatural "Dion" book series M.E. Franco!

Much like Norman Bates' Mother, M.E. is off her rocker...just the way we like her!

MS: If you were a serial killer, which serial killer would you be and why? (this can be fictional or non-fictional)

ME: Dexter, hands down.

I'm Number 2!

MS: Who would you cast in films as the male leads in your Dion series of books?

ME: That's a tough one. When I write, I have a character so completely formed in my head, it's hard to pick someone else to play them.

MS: Are you watching American Horror Story: Apocalypse? If so gimme your thoughts?

ME: I haven't watched the last few seasons, but from what I've heard, I may binge watch this season. Sounds like it might be worth checking out.

What's Angry, Horny & Red All Over?
Satan!

MS: OK, Satan offers you the chance to sell your soul for everything you have ever dreamed about. But there is a catch (you know Satan) you offer a sacrifice of something living. What, or who would that be?

ME: Does it have to be someone I like? I'd happily offer him the neighbor lady behind me. She's a hag, and she's mean to her pets. I'd happily "This is Sparta" kick her into the pit.

I'm Your Boogeyman!
Jamie Lee Curtis & Michael Myers

MS: Excited for the Halloween movie? (I am!)

ME: YEEEEEEESSSSS!! I can't wait!

MS: What's most scary to you being locked in a cell with Hannibal Lecter, or having dinner with Donald Trump?

ME: Better to eat dinner than be dinner.

Let's Have A Kiki
Jason Vorhees

MS: If you click your heels together three times and say Jason Vorhees, Jason Vorhees, Jason Vorhees what happens?

ME: Suddenly, no one wants to go camping with you anymore. Whatever.

MS: Ever encountered a Werebeaver?

ME: You just made me laugh so hard. Thankfully, no. No zombeavers either. LOL

"A Naked American Man Stole My Balloons"
David Naughton (looking good)
In
"An American Werewolf in London"

MS: Did you ever fantasize after seeing An American Werewolf in London that David Naughton in Werewolf form would come in at you for the kill and then all of the sudden revert back to his human form and be standing naked in front of you?

ME: Enough times that I think he probably could have gotten a restraining order.

MS: What's the scariest thing that has ever happened to you?

ME: I almost got abducted in the 4th grade. I was walking home from my friend's house, when a man pulled up next to me in a white car. He said my parents had been in a car accident, and he'd been sent to pick me up. Thankfully, I had just turned down my street, so I could see that both of my parents' cars were in front of our house. When I told him that, he took off. It wasn't until after he left, that I realized what he was doing., so I ran home and told my mom. That scared the crap out of me for a long time.

MS: Treats are so overrated. Name a favorite tricks you have played on someone.

ME: We took my grandmother and great-aunt on a tour of Alcatraz at their request. At one point during the tour, they put our group in a solitary confinement cell and closed the door, so we could see how dark it was. I took the chance to grab my great aunt in the butt with much gusto to freak her out. Unfortunately, in mid grab, I saw the flash of a camera. I'm sure some poor family got quite a surprise when they got their vacation photos developed.

"You Poor Unfortunate Soul"
Ursula

MS: What Disney villainess would you most like to be?

ME: I love the ocean, so I want to say Ursula, but damn she's mean!

MS: Finally what do you want on your Tombstone (I am not talking about the frozen pizza)?

ME: "She always made us laugh."

Laugh with M.E. @ -
https://www.facebook.com/M-E-Franco-238711609482912/
mefrancoauthor.blogspot.com/
https://www.amazon.com/Where-Will-You-Hide-Dion/dp/1479225967
https://twitter.com/mefranco1

Michael's Musings

We Are Living In An Ethereal World
Michael Shinafelt

20 more days 'till Halloween, Halloween, Silver Shamrock! That's correct peeps it's only 20 more days until Halloween. Nothing, quite frankly scares me more than the current state of the union. 

But most of all we all need to focus on what makes us happy during these trying times. Let's get excited, and be, be, be obscene!

I'm vulgar AF - deal with it!

Dear Donald Trump - I wanna be there when a cactus dry humps your ass. Sincerely, one of your biggest fans

Met up with E.G. Daily this week and chatted about her upcoming single and movement "So Pretty" wait for it...

It's October, mark me down as scared and horny

The American Music Awards happened??? I know this only because there were headlines about them after, but when were they actually?

My ultimate goal? Someone mean Tweets me and I get to go on Jimmy Kimmel Live and read it

Lady Gaga's ex, Taylor Kinney is praising her performance in A Star Is Born. Now you can sleep peacefully.

What horror archetype do you have sexual fantasies about?

I saw Mommy kissing Jack Skellington underneath the Jack-O-Lantern

Byline of the week: "Cardi B. proves naysayers wrong at AMAS - she can have it all!" Well Okee Dokee then 

Michael Myers

Michael Myers, Michael Myers, Michael Myers

“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door —Only this, and nothing more." - The Raven, Edgar Allan Poe

If I keep you safe, will you keep me wild?

Bring me something that will rock my world! Do it deadbeat and do it now!

I just tripped on a ghost and got a big boo boo!

Your on the hunt, your after me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt

#Resist

Thunder Only Happens When It's Raining...
Stormy Daniels 

Today is Stormy Daniels Day in the city of West Hollywood, CA...Hooray! 

"The City of West Hollywood is proclaiming Wednesday as “Stormy Daniels Day,” and Mayor John Duran and members of the West Hollywood City Council will present the porn actress with the key to the city award.

The award will be presented to Daniels at 4 p.m. at Chi Chi LaRue, the erotic apparel shop at 8861 Santa Monica Blvd. Daniels, aka Stephanie Clifford, also will be at Chi Chi LaRue from 7 to 9 p.m., promoting her TeamStormy t-shirt line.

Daniels, a porn performer, is famed for her claim that Donald Trump’s lawyer, Michael Cohen, paid her $130,000 in hush money to conceal her alleged sexual affair with Trump. Daniels has sued Trump, claiming that a non-disclosure agreement that Cohen made her sign is invalid because it does not include Trump’s signature.

In an announcement of the proclamation and award, the city said it is “recognizing her leadership in the #Resist movement. In these politically tumultuous times, Daniels has proven herself to be a profile in courage by speaking truth to power even under threats to her safety and extreme intimidation." Source: www.wehoville.com

Stormy on Twitter:

https://twitter.com/stormydaniels?lang=en   

Michael's Musings

Seriously?!
Michael Shinafelt

This weeks word is seriously. What's that you say? I know, I know I have never had a word of the week before. Well this week I do, get over it.

Seriously can take on many forms. It can mean seriously WTF?! Or seriously you really did that? Or seriously you just said that?

I will be addressing all forms of the word in printed matter this week. Shall we play games???

Donald Trump wants to enlist the military to build the wall between the US & Mexico. Ummmmmm...does he realize most of the military is made up of Latin immigrants? 

The Bible, read in the condescending voice of a 14 year old atheist

I have learned how to prepare nutritious foods for hermaphrodite aliens

The Real Housewives of New York premiered last night. The bitches are back!

Went to the drop dead beautiful Lynda Carter's star ceremony on Hollywood's Walk of Fame. Yes, I really did.

Hate your job? Try astral projection 

Honestly I am truly disturbed by the fact that we live in a society where adults mock teenage survivors of a mass shooting

The Horror!
Joan Collins

Joan Collins is going to be on Season 8 of American Horror Story. Way to gay Ryan Murphy!

Beware of the Sourpatch Kid that thinks

When you accidentally dial a wrong number always say: "Is this the cocksucker residence?"

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel".- Maya Angelou 

Always remember, Lala Kent still uses a baby bottle, she's 27

Don't do anything I wouldn't do...Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!

Now it's time to say goodbye and follow me at:
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

Fighter
Michael Shinafelt

" 'Cause it makes me that much stronger, Makes me work a little bit harder, It makes me that much wiser, So thanks for making me a fighter" - Fighter, Christina Aguilera 

We've all got battles to pick and choose from on a daily basis. Your strategy is always different for each one you plan to fight.

Pick wisely and make sure you know WTF you're doing grasshopper. 

Time to let the sh!t fly!

When I'm in the mood for International I expect to be delighted

My favorite RHOBH quote of the season thus far: "Dorit is a bottomless pit of bullshit" - Camille Grammer

Let a prick enjoy their bagel & mimosa in peace!

Speaking of pricks, Donald Trump. Yeah I know it was an easy shot, but I couldn't resist

No matter what, no one wants your pity boner

Just when you thought DSL was an acronym that referred to your computer, along comes Dick Sucking Lips to confuse the F#ck out of you. Beware the next time someone uses DSL it may not mean what you think...

Create art, destroy monotony 

I spoke to a customer service rep this past week named "Sunshine" 

It looks like Allison Janney is a shoo in for the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for I, Tonya

Too bad Margot Robbie won't win, I thought she was brilliant as Tonya Harding

I tend to wake up at 4 am on my own. The more you know.

Cloned Monkeys would have never enabled a government shutdown

On that note: "Your mind will always believe everything you tell it. Feed it faith. Feed it truth. Feed it with love."

Here I am at
https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt   

Michael's Musings

No Bozo
Michael Shinafelt

"But where are the clowns? There ought to be clowns. Quick, send in the clowns" - Send In The Clowns, Stephen Sondheim 

Clowns abound this week! With the premiere of American Horror Story: Cult, IT opening this Friday & Donald Trump moving (his bowels I am guessing) to overturn DACA.

Isn't life funny? Moving on...

The only thing Trump could do that would surprise me at this point is not be a narcissistic bloated piece of sh!t of a human being.

After catching the premiere of American Horror Story: Cult - I think the subtitle for the latest season should be American Horror Story: Clown Porn

Street Talk - "I'm Eeyore, but I'm not. Jesus made me this way"

Vulgarity is an important ingredient in life

If you're sexy and you know it clap your hands!

Wanna know what I made this week that is magically delicious? A salmon patty with Jalapenos on top under melted jack cheese. Yes, it was good as it sounds.

Sasha Pieterse & Moi
@ The G.B.F. Premiere

A shout out to Pretty Little Liars Sasha Pieterse who will be on the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars

Helpful Hint: Always remember when being attacked by sadistic clowns, hurl bottles of rose' 

Who out there is seeing IT tomorrow like me? Raise your hands.

I'm a rebel just for kicks now

Looking for a whore? Ask a pimp

Don't be a drag, just be a queen

Clown around with me at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

AHS: Cult

While I am not going to review last night's shenanigans on American Horror Story: Cult I will say this - who knows what the hell is going on? Please if you do, or think you do, spill!

Election night 2016 kicks off this season that had many WTF?! moments in it. How WTF?! were they Michael? Evan Peters character Kai urinating in a condom and tossing it at a group of Latino immigrants spouting racial slurs. A gang of clowns one who masturbates in front of Sarah Paulson's Ally while two others of the insane clown posse fornicate in front of her.

As if Donald Trump "leading" our country isn't freaky enough, we now have to contend with this shit as a result of him being elected???

The only thing I can state about last night's premiere is it left me in a state of confusion as to where this season is going to lead. This could be a good thing although it turned out that it was not so good when Roanoke aired last season and turned out to be even worse than Coven.

Yeah, of course I will keep watching. The crazy array of scenarios trotted out before me last night were completely nuts! I hope where this path leads is equally so.

AHS on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/americanhorrorstory/

Michael's Musings

Reach The Beach
Michael Shinafelt

Hello Peeps! Wow this past week has been really great! How great was it Michael?! Well let me spill, there was a partial eclipse of the sun in Los Angeles, I saw my friend E.G. Daily perform raw (acoustic) at the Hotel Cafe, I went to the IT Experience in Hollywood and Donald Trump is still a F#ck Weasel....

It's time to extrapolate, now!

Best name ever for a club: Hissy Fist (if this confuses you, ask) 

We only had a partial, eclipse that is, in Los Angeles. Damn not a total one! I was walking down Hollywood Blvd. at the time you would think peeps were the Walking Dead when it happened.

Warrior Juan, discuss

I got stage fright during my Mandolin auditions. Truth or Consequences???

When all else fails tell people: A Bear Kidnapped Me 

Poor Little Kook

I know I posted about this, but ooooops! I'm gonna do it again. The IT Experience in Hollywood is a hoot and a holler and one eighth, yee haw!

E.G. Daily, Raw

Nobody does it better than E.G. Daily, raw! (meaning acoustic)

That time I overslept. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.....

Bethenny Frankel, that is all

How many Donald Trump's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I wish you relevance 

Experience me at:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelshinafelt/?hl=en

https://twitter.com/MShinafelt  

Michael's Musings

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